


Dream Days

by ArenLuxon



Category: School Days (Visual Novel & Related Media)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Breast Fucking, Come Swallowing, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubiously Consensual Blow Jobs, F/M, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Gaslighting, Hand Jobs, Manipulation, Oral Sex, Paranoia, Rough Sex, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Shock Collars, Slow Romance, Strip Tease, Threesome, Threesome - F/F/M, Unreliable Narrator, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2019-02-01
Packaged: 2019-04-25 20:13:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 112,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14386275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArenLuxon/pseuds/ArenLuxon
Summary: Ever since she saw that boy on the train, Kotonoha has been having strange dreams. Dreams that guide her along an unknown path. A path that is exciting and frightening at the same time.





	1. Chapter 1

 

Kotonoha looked up from her book.

How strange.

She was certain there was someone looking at her. Or rather, she  _ had  _ been certain. People were rather good at detecting when other people were looking at them. 

Yet, now that she looked around on the train, she caught no one staring at her. Everyone seemed focused on looking outside, reading, or looking at a fixed point that had nothing to do with her.

Her eyes fell onto one boy in particular. He was staring outside as he listened to his headphones. His arm casually held the metal bar to keep him upright on the moving train.

For some reason, he looked vaguely familiar. But then again, he was wearing the uniform of her school, so she must have seen him before.

But he was clearly not interested in her, so she looked back down.

The feeling returned immediately. As if it was simply waiting for her to avert her eyes.

There was someone watching her, she was sure of it. This dark feeling didn’t stop. She could simply feel eyeballs burning into her body. The hairs on her neck were standing upright and cold sweat ran on her back. 

With a sudden motion, she jerked her head up to look straight at the boy.

He sensed her eyes on him and turned his head towards her. There was a confused look in his eyes.

Kotonoha immediately looked back down. She could feel her cheeks getting hot.

Of course he wasn’t looking at her. Why was she behaving so silly?

She tried to focus on reading, but her eyes simply scanned over the words without picking up any meaning.

“You okay?”

She yelped. Her book slipped through her fingers on the floor.

Kotonoha crouched down to pick it up, but the boy was faster.

He held it out in front of her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No, I… thanks.” She accepted the book.

“Malazan huh? Interesting choice.” He straightened his back. She noticed he was quite a bit taller than her. The boy had a mop of black hair and sand-colored eyes that looked permanently bored.

“You know it?” She got up from her half-crouch.

“I do,” he said in his calm voice. “I have read all ten of them. I’m Itou Makoto by the way, class I-3.”

“Ah, uhm. Katsura Kotonoha, class I-4.” She made a little bow.

The train slowed down abruptly.

Kotonoha felt herself losing balance, but before she could fall, a strong hand wrapped around her waist and steadied her.

She looked up. Itou Makoto was holding her waist with one hand, and the bar with the other.

“Be careful,” he warned her. His voice was very casual. As if he held up girls like that every day.

“Thanks.”

“This is our stop by the way.” He got out of the train.

She seemed to awaken from a spell. Right, their stop, she had to hurry.

Kotonoha quickly grabbed her bag and slung it over one shoulder.

She jumped out of the train right before the doors closed with a hissing sound.

“You’re a bit of an airhead, aren’t you?” he said. Itou-kun was casually waiting for her on the platform. He ran a hand through his hair.

“I…”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

“No, no, don’t worry about it. You’re right, I wasn’t paying attention at all.”

“Shall I walk you to school?” he offered. “I wouldn’t want you to get lost.”

She couldn’t tell if he was mocking her. Nor did she know how to reply to that. But no reply was needed apparently.

“I’ll take that as a yes then.”

He took her hand and guided her through the mass of people.

“I-Itou-kun. You’re…”

He stopped. “Is something wrong?”

“Don’t hold my hand please.”

“Hm? Oh, sorry,” he released her hand. “I was just worried you’d get lost.”

“I know the way to school. I’m not a kid.”

“Of course not, sorry. Shall we?”

She nodded.

They walked on. A strained silence fell between them.

“I’m sorry,” she said eventually. “I may have overreacted a bit.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. A random stranger holding your hand, if I was a girl like you, I’d be a bit scared too.”

“But you were just trying to help.”

“It’s really no big deal. By the way, are you gonna keep waving that book around?”

“What? Oh, of course not.” She noticed she was still holding her book in her left hand.

With a blush on her cheeks, she put it in her bag.

Really, what was up with her today?

“I’m really not that clumsy normally,” she assured him. She didn’t know why she said it.

“Am I distracting you?” he asked.

“No, no. It’s not you. Thanks for helping me out.”

She somehow managed to trip over something.

Itou grabbed her waist with both hands to stop her from falling. She had to clasp her arms around his neck.

“Anytime, Katsura-san.”

“I…”

Their faces were suddenly really close together. If he turned his head a bit sideways he could kiss her and she would be unable to stop him.

“Uhum,” she removed her arms from him and stood up properly. “You can release me now.”

He retracted his hands. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He looked genuinely worried.

“I’m fine.”

She looked down. Somehow, one of her shoelaces had gotten loose even though she was certain she had tied it properly this morning. So that was how she had tripped?

With a sigh, she crouched down and tied her lace properly. Just in case, she made a triple knot.

When she straightened again, she felt her head go light.

“You look a bit pale. Maybe it’s best if I-”

“No, I…”

The world was spinning before her.

She felt his hands catch her again. It was becoming a habit.

“Katsura-san?”

She vaguely registered him lifting her up in a princess carry. Then, she lost consciousness.

* * *

 

“Katsura-san? Are you awake?”

She slowly opened her eyes. 

“Where am I?”

“Nurse office,” the boy said calmly. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy.” She sat upright. Only now did she register she was lying on a bed. Someone had removed her blazer and bowtie and opened up some of the top buttons of her blouse. When she looked down, she could see her salmon-pink bra.

Her hands instinctively covered her chest even though he could hardly see anything. “Did you…”

“Of course not. Who do you think I am? The nurse did that. She said it was important you could breathe alright.”

“Oh, yes, of course.” She closed the buttons again. “Did I miss something?”

“You fainted for about half an hour I guess. The nurse said you have anemia.” He handed her her blazer.

She nodded. “I know.”

He was silent.

“My throat feels dry,” she said.

“Hold on.” He walked to the sink and returned with a glass of water.

“Have you been sitting here all the time?” she asked as she accepted the glass.

“Helping girls in need is a hobby of mine,” he joked.

She smiled faintly. “Glad I could assist you then.”

Kotonoha drank up the water.

It was strange the nurse wasn’t here anymore. Maybe something had happened somewhere else.

“Anyway, we should be going back to class.” She stood up and grabbed her bag.

“Your bowtie,” he said. He handed it to her.

When she accepted it, their fingers touched for a second. She felt a strange attraction between them.

“I’ll walk you to your class,” he said.

“You really don’t have to.”

He chuckled. “You’re funny. It’s not optional, Katsura-san. I could never forgive myself if you fainted again on the way to class.”

“I’m not gonna faint again.”

“How do you know that?”

She sighed. “Fine, I’ll allow you the privilege of walking me back to my class.”

Itou-kun laughed. “I’m honored, Princess Katsura.”

A very strange sensation went through her body when he called her ‘princess’.

“You okay?” he narrowed his eyes. “That may have been a bit presumptuous.”

“You’re not gonna apologise for every joke, are you?” she shot back.

Kotonoha slung her backpack over her shoulders and went outside. He had to hurry to catch up with her

They walked to her class in silence. It only took a minute to cross the short distance after all.

“I should be going now,” he said. “Can you take it from here?”

She nodded. Was he messing with her? They were literally standing right in front of the door.

Was that the correct use of literally? Or was-

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Katsura-san. Unfortunately in circumstances like this.”

“Me as well,” she said. “I mean, I…” she blushed. “I’m pleased to meet you as well.”

“I’ll see around then.”

He left her.

She breathed out.

That was very strange. Before the boy appeared she had felt perfectly healthy like any other day. And then, suddenly, she had almost fallen down on the train, tripped over her own laces and fainted. That wasn’t her, was it?

Oh well, maybe she just had a bad day.

Wait, could it even be called a bad day if she had met a boy like that? Most boys were overly friendly while throwing lecherous looks at her body or they kept their distance, but Itou seemed genuinely concerned about her. And without him to carry him to the nurse office things could have ended less well.

Anyway, she felt better now. And if she fainted again, the teacher could take her back to the nurse office. 

Kotonoha took a deep breath and opened the door.

The class fell dead silent. They stared at her as if she had murdered someone. To be fair, they usually looked at her like that, but still. She was just a bit late, she didn’t walk in covered in blood carrying an axe and a severed head or something. There was no need to look at her like that.

“You’re late,” the teacher finally broke the silence. “Very unbefitting for class representative.”

“I’m sorry,” she bowed deeply. “I uhm… I had some problems on the way here.”

“Fine fine, sit down, Katsura-san. And make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

She quickly sat down at her desk.

The classes were arranged in two rows of three leading up. In some weird turn of events, she sat on the first row in the right part all alone. There were some empty chairs on the other rows actually, but no one sat all alone except for her.

The homeroom teacher had frowned as well when he first saw them sitting like that, but the computer had arranged them randomly based on class number, so who was he to complain? Besides, it wasn’t a bad thing the diligent class rep sat on the first row.

He had checked all their numbers to see if they were cheating, but they really weren’t. They all sat at their assigned place. It was a coincidence Katsura had ended up alone.

Kotonoha felt the piercing stares from her classmates. She made sure to keep her head down during class. But she couldn’t escape of course. At lunch they…

“Hey, Katsura. What’s wrong? Is it that time of the month again?”

Otome again. 

“I have to go.” She stood up, but the Trio was suddenly in front of her, blocking her path.

“Answer the question,” Otome said. “You make the entire class look bad by being late.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you-”

“Katsura.” A new voice said.

They all looked at the entrance.

Itou-kun? What the hell was he doing here?

There was a girl with him. A cheerful looking girl with short brown hair.

“Oh, hey Itou,” Otome said. “How are you doing?”

“Alright. Can I speak to Katsura-san for a second?”

“Uhm, sure.” With a frown, she walked away. The Trio followed her, as usual.

“Hey again,” he said.

“Itou-kun? What are you doing here?”

“I told Sekai about this morning and she insisted I had to ask you to come to lunch with us.” He gestured to the girl with him.

“Lunch?”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” he said.

“No, no. I’d love to.” She stood up. As if she was gonna waste an opportunity like this. Best case scenario she ate alone, worst case Otome came to pick on her. But with Itou, Otome wouldn’t dare doing anything. It was no secret she had a crush on Itou.

Actually, now that she thought about it, that’s why he looked so familiar. This was the boy Otome was always following with her eyes. According to the rumours, they had gone to the same middle school.

“See,” Sekai said. “I told you.”

“Sure, sure.”

Kotonoha followed them outside.

“I’m Sekai,” the girl introduced herself. “Saionji Sekai.”

“Are you his girlfriend?” Kotonoha blurted out.

“Oh, no, no,” she laughed. “We’re just good friends.”

“Oh. It’s just… he called you by your given name.”

“As I said, close friends.”

There was something strange dancing in Sekai’s blue eyes.

“I heard he heroically saved you this morning,” Sekai said.

“It wasn’t  _ that  _ heroically,” Itou insisted.

“But you did help her out. Who knows what would have happened without you there?”

“She’s right,” Kotonoha said. “I haven’t thanked you properly yet.”

“There’s no need, really.”   
“Still…”

She felt really bad about this. He really didn’t have to stay with her in the nurse office. Itou had been very kind to a girl he didn’t even know. At the very least she should thank him.

“You could always go on a date with him,” Sekai suggested. “I’m sure he’d love that.”

“Sekai!” Makoto said. “Don’t say that.”

“You don’t like her?”

“Well, I… that’s not the point, Sekai.”

She chuckled.

“Hey uhm, where are we going?” Kotonoha asked. “This is not the way to the cafeteria.”

“You’ve never been to the roof?” Sekai replied. “It’s quite impressive.”

“We can go up the roof?”

“The Astronomy Club can,” she said.

“I didn’t know we had one.”

“It has two members,” Itou said dryly. “I’m Vice-President.”

“And I’m President,” Sekai added.

“Why is she President?” Kotonoha asked.

“Because it was my idea,” Sekai proclaimed.

“And paper beats rock,” Itou added.

They arrived at the end of the stairs.

Sekai unlocked the door and walked up on the roof.

“Wow.”

Kotonoha walked out. It was indeed pretty impressive up here.

Large iron fences had been put up for safety, but the view behind them was quite good. And there were two white benches put up here.

A sudden gust of wind lifted her skirt.

Kotonoha quickly grabbed the edges.

Strangely, Sekai was very slow to respond. Her white-blue striped panties showed for a moment before she pulled the skirt down. It almost looked like she was showing them on purpose to Itou-kun.

But that wasn’t possible of course. She was just friends with Itou-kun, nothing more. Why on earth would she lie about that?

They sat down on one of the white benches.

“It’s nice weather today,” Itou said.

“Yeah,” Sekai replied.

“Can I ask you something, Saionji-san?” Kotonoha said.

“Sure.”

“Why did you invite me?”

“Well. I always see you sitting by yourself at PE. You look very lonely. Up until now, I never really had the courage to walk up to you, but I did know your name. So when Makoto mentioned you, well… shouldn’t I have?”

“No no, I’m really happy you invited me.”

“Okay. You’re part of the Astronomy Club now.”

“I am?”

“Of course, you’ve been up the roof. Those are the rules.”

“Secretary is still available,” Makoto said dryly.

“What does that entail?” she asked.

“Nothing at all. Just going up the roof whenever you want.”

She smiled. “I see. That’s a nice perk.”

“So, Katsura-san,” Sekai asked. “What are your hobbies?”

“Oh, well, uhm… you know… ”

“She likes reading,” Itou assisted.

“Right. Reading. Reading and uhm… shopping and uhm…”

“Seems like a very busy life,” Sekai noted.

“Well what are your hobbies?” Kotonoha bounced back.

“Me? Oh, uhm, shopping and uhm… reading?”

They all laughed.

“And what about you, Itou-kun?” Kotonoha asked.

“He’s even worse,” Sekai said. “Last summer he spend all day lazing around on the beach.”

“I had to take care of my sister,” he argued.

“You have a sister?” Kotonoha asked.

“Yeah, Itaru-chan. She’s eight, I think.”

“You think?”

“Well it changes every year.”

Sekai rolled her eyes. Clearly, this wasn’t the first time he had made that joke.

“I have a younger sister too,” Kotonoha said. “Kokoro-chan.”

“That’s a cute name,” Sekai commented.

“She can be cute. But usually she’s annoying.”

“That’s how sisters are,” Itou said.

“I wish I had a little sister,” Sekai said with a sigh.

“You came to play with Itaru-chan on the beach last summer.”

“But that’s not the same thing. I don’t see her every day.”

“Well…”

“Sorry.” The mood instantly changed. “Forget I said that.”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

He turned to Katsura. “My parents are divorced. Itaru-chan lives with my father and I live with my mother, so we don’t see each other that often.”

“I see.”

“Well she has to live there for the sake of that pun,” Sekai said, trying to defuse the tension.

It worked quite well.

Itou chuckled. “True.”

“Pun?” Kotonoha asked.

“My sister is called Itaru and my father Tomaru. But both are written with the same kanji. So the doorbell just says ‘Itaru & Tomaru’, spelled identically. People are very confused when they read it.”

“That is pretty funny indeed.”   
They continued talking like that until lunch break was over.

After they said goodbye, she didn’t see them again. But then again, she had stuff to do as class representative, so she was going home pretty late.

At night, she had a very strange dream, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t remember what it was about in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

“Katsura?”

She looked up. “Oh, hey, Saionji-san.”

“Mind if I sit next to you?”

“Not at all.” She gestured to the grass beside her. “Are you feeling sick?”

“It’s uhm… that time of the month.” Sekai sat down next to her.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Not your fault. Are you not participating in PE?”

“I’m anemic. Didn’t Itou-kun tell you?”

“No. He was too busy with his own heroic tales I guess.” Sekai added a little smile.

“He  _ did _ help me out a lot.” She didn’t want to imagine what would have happened if she had passed out in the middle of the street. Or if someone with less noble ideas had found her.

“I guess,” Sekai said, unconvinced.

“I really should do something back for him.”

“Well if you really want to, I have an idea.”

“You do?” Kotonoha looked at her.

“You could let him touch your chest.”

“I…” Kotonoha turned away and covered her ample chest with her arms.

Sekai chuckled. “I’m joking, don’t worry. I actually wanted to suggest to eat lunch tomorrow as well. On the roof again.”

“Oh. But…”

“You could prepare lunch for him,” she suggested. “I’m sure he’d like that.”

“Yeah. That’s a great idea, Saionji-san.” She had never made lunch before, but it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

“You can drop the ‘san’.”

“Okay, Saionji.”

“Still…” Sekai looked in the distance.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing. I’m a bit worried about Makoto-kun.”

“How so?”

“He’s a nice guy, but…”

“But what?”

Sekai played with her fingers, still avoiding eye contact.

“He could really use a girlfriend. Or even just a date. But everyone keeps rejecting him.”

“They do?” That’s strange. Itou-kun seemed like a nice guy.

“Oh yes, you didn’t know? He has confessed to lots of girls, but they all turned him down. They didn’t even want to go on a single date.”

“That’s horrible.”

“Oh well. He’ll survive, I guess.”

“Did you…”

“No, no,” Sekai quickly said. “We’re just friends, he didn’t confess to me. But as my friend, he does call me a lot. When a girl rejects him, he can be down for days or even weeks. Yet for some reason, he keeps falling for girls that don’t like him back.”

“I see.” She wondered where Sekai was going with this. It was interesting, but there really wasn’t much they could do about it, right?

“I uhm…” Sekai said. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. Never mind.”

“Tell me, please,” Kotonoha pressed her.

“Alright then.” Sekai finally looked at her. “You are totally his type.”

Kotonoha turned red. “I-”

“Ah, please don’t worry about it,” Sekai assured her. “I just mean, he saved the damsel in distress and he got to know you a bit, so I’m certain he’ll misunderstand and ask you out. So, just… please don’t hurt him too much when you reject him. Be gentle with him.”

“I… maybe I…”

“You like him?” Sekai’s eyes lit up. “You do, right?”

“I… I suppose one date wouldn’t hurt,” Kotonoha said. “But you don’t know if he will confess.”   
Sekai chuckled. “Wanna bet? I give him 24 hours, tops.”

“What are we betting for?”

“Uhm, I don’t know. If I win I get your phone number and if you win you get mine?”

“Isn’t that the same thing? We might as well exchange numbers now.”

“Great idea, Katsura.” Sekai pulled out her phone.

“You have your phone with you during PE?”

“You don’t?”

Kotonoha threw a look over her shoulder. No one was looking at them.

She took out her own phone and they exchanged numbers.

When they were done, the bell rang. The girls quickly hid their phones again.

They went back inside to change. Normally, Otome would pick on her, but Sekai sat down next to her and that made Otome reconsider.

“I’ll see you around then, Katsura,” Sekai said when they were done.

“Yeah, see you around.”

Sekai went back to her class.

“Making friends are we?” a voice behind her said.

Someone jammed their shoulder against her.

“Watch where you’re going.”

Kotonoha sighed inwardly.

“Just don’t think your little friend is gonna be there all the time to protect you, Katsura,” Otome warned her.

Luckily, they didn’t have much time to do other thing since a teacher passed them at that point and their next class would start soon.

After school, Otome and her trio of friends went off to their basketball practice, so she was safe for today.

Kotonoha decided to go to the library today.

As expected, there was hardly anyone there. Reading wasn’t that popular at this school.

She asked the boy on duty if the book she was looking for was in.

He muttered a response that could be interpreted as ‘yes’ with some imagination. 

Ashikaga-kun was a very shy boy, especially against females. You’d think looking like a girl himself would make things easier for him, but apparently not.

Kotonoha walked through the shelves.

She found what she was looking for rather quickly. However, the book was on the top shelf, too high for her to reach.

_ Stupid shelves. _

Kotonoha stood on her tiptoes and reached out as far as she could, but it remained out of her reach.

A different hand reached out and picked the book of the shelf.

Katsura spun around.

“Itou-kun.” She backed away and hit the shelves with her elbow. A jolt of pain ran through her body

“Calm down, Katsura-san,” he said. “I just wanted to help you.”

He held out the book. She accepted it.

“You startled me,” she said.

“Sorry.”

She put the book in her bag to avoid his eyes. “A-Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“This is the school library, am I not allowed to be here?”

“Well…”

“And why are people in libraries in general?”

She felt her cheeks getting hot. “I, I didn’t mean it like that,” she mumbled.

“I wanted to see you,” he said.

“Oh.”

“Yeah uhm, I have a question for you.”

Twenty-four hours huh? This wasn’t even six hours. 

“Uhm,” Itou said. “How to put this, you see I-”

“Yes,” she interrupted him.

“Huh?”

“If the question is ‘will you go out with me?’, the answer is yes.”

After Saionji had told her about it, she had thought about it, and actually, she did like this boy. He was kind and caring and one date really wouldn’t hurt her. Her mom constantly said she had to go out more instead of sitting around in her room. Besides, she had technically already said she’d accept against Saionji, so if she turned him down now, Saionji would hear and she’d be very angry. And Kotonoha was not about to give up her only potential friend over a little date with Itou-kun. Even if she was a bit scared to go on dates.

Itou-kun was at a loss for words for a moment.

“How did you know?” he asked eventually.

“Saionji kinda warned me.”

“Oh. Right. It’s fine, don’t wo-... wait, did you say  _ yes _ ?”

She smiled. “Yes, Itou-kun. I’d love to go out with you.”

“Oh, okay. Hey hold on, I had a whole confession prepared.”   
“Save it for our date,” she said.

“Is Sunday okay?”

“Sunday is fine. Where are we going?”

“Uhm. Well I didn’t think this  _ that _ far through. I kinda anticipated another rejection. How about a movie?”

“Classic.”

He smiled apologetically. “Sorry for not being as cool as you’d like. You’re free to give me suggestions.”

“Isn’t the guy supposed to arrange the date?”

“Oh, sorry,” he said, sarcasm slipping into his tone. “I assumed you were a modern girl. I better ask your parents for permission to take you out then.”

She smiled. “Point taken. A movie is fine to me. I like movies.”

“What kind of movies do you like?”

“Well, uhm… you know.” She looked away, embarrassed.

“I don’t. Unless you tell me.”

How would he respond to that? It wasn’t very girly of her to like those kind of movies.

“It’s not something… you know, age restricted, right?” he asked.

“Well uhm… most of them are.”

“Oh. Wow. I really didn’t expect that from you.”

“Do you like horror movies too?”

“Horror movies?... oh, okay, now I get it.”

She frowned. “What did you think I was talking about?”

“Nothing.” He avoided her gaze.

“You didn’t think I was talking about… you know,  _ the other type _ of age restricted movies, right?”

“I wouldn’t judge you for that. To each their own.”

She sighed. “Boys. Always thinking about lecherous things.”

“Well being in your company certainly doesn’t make it easier.”

“Itou-kun.” She blushed.

“It was a compliment. You are a very attractive girl, Katsura.”

She blushed even harder. “Thanks. A-Anyway, so, there is a horror movie this weekend I think.” As if she didn’t know exactly when it came out.

“Indeed. I was gonna watch it with Taisuke actually.”

“Oh, well I don’t want to-”

“Please do. You’re much better company than Taisuke.”

“I am?”

“Oh you’ve never seen him eating popcorn, have you?”

She chuckled. “Is it that bad?”

“You have no idea.”

“But I like popcorn too,” she confessed.

He chuckled. “I’ll remember that.”

“Okay. I’m really looking forward to it, Itou-kun.”

“Me too.”

She checked the time on her phone. “I should be going now.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She hesitated. “Maybe we should exchange numbers. Just so we don’t miss each other.”

“Yeah, good idea.” He took out his own phone.

When they were done, they both put away their phones and went to the station together.

“I have to admit, you surprise me,” Itou said.   
“How so?”

“You’re a lot more confident than I thought.”

“I’m really not.”

“And I was really surprised you are into horror movies. You didn’t say that was a hobby of yours the other day.”

“Well, that’s not something you say when you’ve just met someone.”

“Why not?”

“You might have laughed at me.”

“What? Of course not, horror movies are cool.”

She smiled. “Thanks.”

Their train arrived. Both of them got on it.

“Oh,” Kotonoha said, suddenly remembering something. “Would you like to… uhm…”

“Probably yes, but maybe you should ask first.”

She chuckled. “I was just thinking it would be fun to eat lunch together again. On the roof.”

“Oh, yeah, sure. Sounds fun. Do you want Sekai to come as well?”

“Yeah, sure. I’ll ask her tonight if she wants to.”

“You already got her number?”   
She avoided his gaze. “Sort of.”

“Knowing her she’s probably saying all kinds of embarrassing things about me.”

“Maybe.”

“What did she say?”

“Girl secrets, Itou-kun, I can’t tell you.”

He sighed. “Girls.”

Kotonoha usually wasn’t very confident, but being with Itou-kun somehow made it much easier. He made her feel comfortable when usually she felt scared in the company of males. Actually, just in company of  _ people  _ in general, except for maybe Kokoro-chan.

The train arrived at her stop.

“See you tomorrow then,” she said.

“Yeah. See you, Katsura.”

She got off the train and went home. It was only a short walk from the station, and luckily, she did not faint since Itou wasn’t here to save her.

When she arrived home, she went to her room and called Saionji.

[Hey, Katsura.]

“Hey.”

[So, already?]

Kotonoha sighed. “Yes, you win. He asked me out today.”

[I knew it.]

“Hey, wait a sec. You didn’t win. We bet whether he would  _ confess _ . But he just asked me out.”

[That’s practically the same thing,] Sekai argued.

“Not really. He said he had a confession planned, but he didn’t actually do it, so I still win.”

[The 24 hours aren’t over yet.]

“We’ll see.”

[So you’re going on a date?]

“Yeah.”

[Where are you going?]

“To a movie.” Kotonoha laid down on her bed.

[Cliche. Is it a romance movie?]

“No. It’s a horror movie.”   
[Horror? Ye, what is that idiot thinking?]

“Actually, he asked me what I liked and I said horror movies.”

[Oh, I get it. So when you get scared you’ll hold his hand and-]

“No. I’m not scared. I actually like horror movies.”

[But you are gonna holds hands, right?]

She shifted the phone to her other ear. “I-I guess?… it is a date, so it’s to be expected.” Holding hands wasn’t so bad, right?

[So,] Saionji changed the subject. [What are you gonna wear?]

“Uhm… that’s a very good question, Saionji.”

[I think you should show of your  _ assets _ .]

“Assets?”

[Oh, you know…]

“I don’t want him to get bad ideas,” Kotonoha quickly said.

[But you do want to look good, right?]

“Well, yes, I suppose I do.”

[So you should highlight your best traits, right?]

“Yeah, that does make sense. But what are my best traits?”

[Oh, you know. Your hair is long and smooth and your eyes are beautiful. And you have an uhm… busty figure.]

“Sekai!”

[What? I’m just stating the truth. Wait, did you call me…]

“Sorry, I-”

[No, it’s fine. You can call me by my first name. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it, Kotonoha. Good luck on your date.]

Sekai hung up.

Kotonoha sighed. 

Sekai had some point. She didn’t like it when she pointed it out, but it was hard to deny she had quite a big chest. But that didn’t mean she wanted to show it off or anything. She didn’t like how everyone only looked at her chest. The boys with lecherous looks, and the girls with jealous looks.

But if it was Itou-kun…

No, him too. Itou wasn’t any different from anyone else. If he wanted to date her, he should love her for her personality, not the size of her boobs. If anything, she should date him flat-chested first to make sure he actually liked her for her personality and not her body.

But…

She sighed again. Obviously, that wasn’t possible. She could not hide her own body shape. So maybe Sekai had a point somewhere. If she couldn’t hide it, she might as well play it to her advantage. It’s not like she could show off her personality. She did want this date to go well, right? And she wanted to show her best side.

But then again, wouldn’t that give him the wrong ideas?

Why was this so difficult?

She got up.

A relaxing bad would probably help her.

Kotonoha went to the bathroom.

There was no-one in.

She opened the tap and then stripped down.

Her eyes caught herself in the mirror.

Yeah, it was hard to deny she had a busty figure.

And it wasn’t just her chest. She had quite wide hips as well.

She sighed once again. There really was no getting around it. Even if Itou had initially gotten attracted to her personality, he would inevitably desire her body as well. And if anything, she had agreed to that already. If she didn’t want that, she should have said she just wanted to be friends. Going on a date obviously implied she would eventually have to hold hands and… kiss.

She wanted to date him, right? So that meant both mentally and physically. She couldn’t just pick out the parts she liked.

Kotonoha decided she had to get more comfortable with her own body. If she wasn’t comfortable herself, how could she ever expect to go on a real date?

She put her hair up in a quick dot to make sure it didn’t get wet. Then, she got into the large bath.

The water was pleasantly warm on her skin.

She hesitantly reached up and touched her chest.

_ I have a big chest, and that’s okay _ , she told herself.  _ There is nothing to be ashamed about. This is my body and there is nothing I can do to change it. _

And if she could, would she really want to? Wouldn’t her future boyfriend enjoy that? Boys were perverted after all. If you had a boyfriend, wouldn’t you want to look attractive to him? So… 

She yawned.

The water was very warm. Maybe a bit  _ too _ warm. It was making her drowsy.

She wasn’t gonna faint again, was she? Maybe she’d faint and drown and then they would find her like this.

Somehow, the thought didn’t cause her to panic. Rather, she drifted further away.

Her head rested on the edge of the bath.

… 

“Onee-chan? Hey, Onee-chan.” Someone splashed water in her face.

“Huh?” He eyes fluttered open. Her hands immediately covered her chest. She faintly registered the water had gotten a lot colder. “Kokoro-chan?”

“Ye, Onee-chan, did you fall asleep in the bath?”

“No,” she lied, unconvincingly.

“Mom says it’s long past my bedtime. And you have school tomorrow as well, don’t you?”

“Yeah. Turn around, I’m gonna get out.”

Reluctantly, her sister did as she asked.

“You can’t keep hogging the bathroom,” she complained. “I have to brush my teeth. Mom will be very mad if I’m not in bed in five minutes.”

Kotonoha wrapped a towel around her body.

“Go ahead then.”

The older sister went back to her room to dry off and change into her pyjamas.

She had definitely fallen asleep in the bath. And she had dreamed, but about what?

Kotonoha thought of it as she dried off, but nothing came to mind.

She got dressed into her pyjamas. It had been difficult to find something in her size. The buttons of the long sleeved top were under a lot of pressure and the bottoms were yoga pants since the others didn’t fit anymore. 

Her blue top piece and black pants didn’t really match, but it’s not like many people saw her like that. In fact, basically no one did since she changed when she went to bed and changed back into her school uniform first thing in the morning.

When she was done, she returned to the bathroom to brush her teeth and put up her hair in a loose braid. Given how long her hair was, she had to do this or it would be a huge mess in the morning. She would have to make sure she washed it tomorrow or it would stop behaving nicely.

Kotonoha returned to her room, turned off the light and got into her large bed.

When she laid down, she drifted off to sleep very fast.

Her dream was waiting for her. She had put it on pause in the bath and forgotten what it was about, but after only a few minutes, it played again.

_ “You look gorgeous, Katsura-san,” Itou-kun said. _

_ They were sitting in what appeared to be an expensive restaurant. Except there was nothing around them. There was only their own table, which somehow floated on some kind of lake without sinking. _

_ The plates and cutlery shined brightly with gold and silver and the glasses were crystal goblets. Between them was a candle holder in silver.  _

_ Itou-kun wore a three-piece suit in black and white with a tie. His hair was neatly combed back and glistened with oil. He looked good. Very good. _

_ Kotonoha looked down at herself. She was wearing a red dress with a very deep V-cut. No bra. It looked a bit like her red summer dress, only much more seductive. _

_ “Thanks, Itou-kun,” she heard herself say. “But please, call me Kotonoha.” _

_ She stole a glance at her reflection in the water. She did look quite good. Her hair was put up in elaborate braids with white flowers, some makeup highlighted her eyes and lips and there were silver earrings and a pendant dangling down from her ears and neck. She looked like a sort of princess version of herself. More mature and infinitely more seductive. _

_ “Well,  _ Kotonoha _ , I really like your dress. It really shows off your  _ assets _.” _

_ She looked back. “Thanks. Can I call you Makoto-kun?” _

_ “Of course, princess.” _

_ “Would you… like to see more, Makoto-kun?” She felt herself biting her lip. _

_ “Yes, yes I would.” He leaned back on his chair. _

_ Her hands took the straps of her dress. She pulled them over her shoulders. Since the top was cut so deeply, this caused the dress to fall down and completely expose her bare chest. _

_ Her hands folded on her lap. Normally, she would instinctively cover her chest, but now, she was pushing it out so he could see it well. _

_ “What do you think?” her voice asked. _

_ “Not bad,” he replied. “Do you mind if I…” _

_ “Be my guest, Makoto-kun.” She smiled. _ _   
_ _ He reached out and touched her breasts. _

_ An electrifying sensation ran through her body. It felt good. Really good. _

Kotonoha stirred in her sleep.

Her hand slipped inside her panties.

_ “Such a naughty girl,” Makoto-kun said. _

_ “Yes,” her voice replied. “I’m a naughty girl.” _

_ He pinched her nipples. _

_ She let out a moan. Her hands stayed on her lap. _

_ “Please,” she said. “Suck on them.” _

_ He gladly reached down and put her nipple in his mouth. _

Kotonoha jumped upright, her eyes wide open.

She retracted her hand. There was a sticky mess on her fingers.

By reaching beneath her pants and touching them, she could confirm it. Her panties were wet.

What a strange dream.

Her fingers had gotten sticky, so she got up to wash them in the bathroom.

Back in her room, she changed into a new pair of panties.

She got back in bed.

It had to be those strange things Sekai had said. ‘Show off your assets’, honestly. That must have caused this weird dream.

Kotonoha turned on her side.

She closed her eyes, hoping the weird dream would not return.

Idle hope it turned out.


	3. Chapter 3

Kotonoha checked the clock again.

Even though she had started quite early, there wasn’t much time left to get ready.

She had already taken a shower and after some hesitation put on some makeup (mainly eyeliner). Right now, she was struggling to decide on an outfit. She couldn’t go wrapped in a towel of course. Well, technically she could, but it was not advised to do so.

But what to wear?

Certainly no lack of clothes to choose from. She had a walk-in closet because they wouldn’t fit in a normal one, but in hindsight, it might have been easier if she didn’t have so many outfits.

Her dream surfaced back.

No, no, that was ridiculous. Besides, she didn’t even  _ have _ a dress like that. Let alone she would be wearing it in public.

Maybe she should call Sekai for advice?

But Sekai had already given advice, hadn’t she?

‘Show off your assets’.

But did she have anything that could do that? Probably not.

Anyway, standing here would not help.

She picked up an outfit and put it on.

Kotonoha checked herself in the mirror.

No, this wouldn’t do. Jeans were a bit  _ too _ casual. She didn’t want to look like she was trying really hard, but this was still a date and she wanted to look good.

It took her a few more tries before she was reasonably satisfied.

Right now, she wore a white skirt that fell just above her knees, a pink top and a button-up shirt in lighter pink.

Not bad. It didn’t look like she was trying too hard, but it also wasn’t  _ too _ casual.

Even so…

Wasn’t this a bit too conservative? Was this really what girls wore on a date?

What would Itou-kun think of her when he saw this?

He would probably think she was super prudish. 

And she wanted this date to go well.

No, this date  _ had _ to go well.

Not only was it her first date ever, it was with Itou-kun. If it went poorly, things would become super awkward between them. And since Sekai was close friends with Itou and basically always hung out with him, that would mean she could no longer be friends with both of them. It would be way too awkward to sit with Itou-kun. Meaning her only two potential friends were at stake here. If she screwed this up, she would be all alone again. Well, alone with Otome and her friends that is.

Kotonoha picked up her phone to send a picture to Sekai.

‘Is this too conservative?’ she added.

Sekai replied not even a minute later.

[Hate to say it, Kotonoha, but you look like you’re going to church. You don’t want him to look at other girls, do you?]

She sighed. Maybe Sekai was right.

Kotonoha changed into a different skirt that was a lot shorter (white as well). After some hesitation, she removed her top and only wore the button-up. With the top buttons left open, it form a V-cut which exposed a bit of cleavage.

It felt strange. She had never dressed purposely to show off her body. Something about it just felt off. Maybe it was the psychology?

Normally she wore whatever she liked, not caring about anyone else, but now…

Then again, she  _ should  _ care. This was a date, so it was only natural to think about the other person. It would be really terrible if she didn’t.

Kotonoha send a new picture to Sekai.

‘Better?’

[Not bad. You could maybe open another button. But I guess that will have to do.]

“How so?” If she really had to, she could change again. If it was still too prudish. At this point, Kotonoha had little trust in her own assessment of this. Clearly, her standards were different from the norm.

[What time were you gonna meet him?]

Oh crap. She was already late.

Kotonoha took her handbag and hurried down the stairs. There was little time to decide on her shoes now. Since she had no socks on, she quickly put on sandals.

“I’m going mom,” she said.

“Going where?” her mother asked.

“I didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

“Well I’m going to the movie with a friend.” She slung her handbag over one shoulder.

“A  _ male _ friend?”

“I have to hurry, I’m already late. Bye mom.”

“Hey-”

Her mom’s voice was cut off when Kotonoha closed the door.

She hurried to the station.

With some running, she was just in time for the next train, which would still make her five minutes late if she hurried.

She made it in four.

Itou-kun was already waiting for her. He was dressed quite casually. Jeans and a T-shirt with above that a semi-formal jacket in dark green.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kotonoha said, she leaned on her knees to catch her breath. “Did you wait long?” she asked in between deep breaths.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “You’re only a few minutes late.”

“I… I don’t want to make a bad first impression.”

“Don’t worry, you’re making a very good first impression.” His eyes roamed over her body. He seemed to approve of her clothing decisions. Because she was leaning on her legs, she gave him quite a good view of her cleavage.

When she realised this, she quickly straightened. A faint blush appeared on her cheeks. “Thanks.”

It had been a good idea to follow Sekai’s advice. Itou-kun wouldn’t pay much attention to her being late now. If she had worn the other outfit, he wouldn’t have been distracted as much, and then their date would have been off to a bad start. Not to mention it would have been harder to run meaning she would have certainly missed the train and been even more late.

“That top really highlights your assets.”

Her heart skipped several beats. “What did you say?”

“I meant it as a compliment.”

“Yeah, but…”

Those were the exact words Sekai had used. And the same words he had spoken in her dream. Was this a coincidence?

“Shall we?” he asked.

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

They walked inside the theater together.

“It’s a good thing we already have tickets, cause it’s pretty much sold out tonight.”

“We do?”

“Yeah, Sekai had free tickets from her work and she gave them to us. She doesn’t like horror movies.”

“I can imagine that.”

Itou smiled. “Anyway, let’s get some popcorn first.”

“You remembered.”

“Of course I did. Who do you take me for?”

She followed him to the shop. They quickly found the popcorn section.

“Let’s see. Which ones do you like, Katsura?”

“It’s all the same to me,” she answered automatically.

“Well that’s not really an answer,” he replied, clearly not satisfied.

She was taken back a bit. “I’m not used to people asking my opinion like that.”

“How so?”

“Well, when I go to a movie with Kokoro-chan, she always insists on taking that one.” Kotonoha pointed to the biggest bucket of normal white popcorn.

“Oh. So that’s what you meant with  _ annoying _ ?”

“When did I say that?”

“At our first lunch-date. I said I had a sister and you said your own little sister was annoying.”

“Oh, right.”

He had actually remembered that?

“Anyway,” Itou said. “I’m asking your opinion now. Which one do you want?”

“Well now that I think about it, I never tried caramel before.”

“Okay.” He reached out and picked up a large bucket of caramel-popcorn.

“The biggest one?”

“You already picked the flavor, now it’s my turn to pick the size.”

She chuckled. “Seems fair to me.”

They bought some drinks as well. Itou insisted on treating her.

When they arrived in the theater, she found Itou was right. Three quarters of the seats were already filled even though it was another ten minutes before the movie would start.

They maneuvered to their seats. For now, there was no one besides them, but that would probably change soon enough.

She placed her drink in the holder on her left. Itou sat to her right. He placed the popcorn between them on the armrest.

“It’s pretty filled,” Kotonoha said.

“Yeah. Let’s hope Taisuke doesn’t see me.”

“He’s here?”

“Yeah, he’s sitting over there.” Itou subtly pointed a few rows below them.

“And he’s not allowed to see you?”

“He’s mad I ditched him for you. Or didn’t you notice he’s sitting by himself?”

“He could sit with us,” she suggested. “I don’t mind.”

“But I do,” Itou said. “This is supposed to be a date.”

“Right, sorry.”

The screen turned on. It showed ads and future releases.

Kotonoha reached for the popcorn without looking.

Their hands touched.

She pulled her hand away.

Itou smiled. “Sorry.”

They had reached for the popcorn at the same time and their hands had touched.

“It- it’s okay,” Kotonoha said.

She waited until he had taken some before taking herself.

The caramel flavor was delicious.

“This popcorn is good,” Itou said.

“Yeah. A lot better than my cooking.”

“Don’t say that. You tried your best, that’s what matters.”

“You’re too kind.”

“I know.”

Yesterday, they had eaten together on the roof. In following Saionji’s advice, Kotonoha had tried making bento. While Itou had been rather diplomatic about it, between the lines she could read that her cooking sucked. Also, she had eaten it herself and it tasted pretty disastrous. But Itou had been very kind to her. And cooking was something you could learn to some extent. And she was determined to learn it.

The lights dimmed.

“Looks like it’s gonna start,” Itou whispered.

The seats right next to them were still empty, but the rest of their row was almost completely filled. The other rows were also filled about 90%.

Kotonoha put her hand on the armrest. At this rate, their popcorn would be finished before the movie had properly started.

Itou softly placed his hand on hers.

She was startled by that.

_ Calm down _ , she told herself. They were just holding hands, this was no big deal. This was a date after all, it was to be expected. And she had told him it was okay, so he might have interpreted that like this.

She breathed in and out deeply.

Kotonoha turned her hand around. Their fingers almost automatically interlocked.

His hand was warm and comforting. This wasn’t so bad. She could do this.

They kept holding hands. She was concerned her hands would sweat too much or she would do something wrong, but she could not pull away since her hand was on the bottom.

She suddenly remembered what Sekai had told her.

‘You could maybe open another button.’

Kotonoha checked on Itou. He was immersed in the movie.

She reached up with her free hand to open another button.

It was not easy to do with one hand, but she managed. However, he noticed.

Their eyes locked.

Kotonoha could only see him vaguely, his features lit by the movie screen. Due to the dark nature of the film, there was little light to illuminate his face.

Itou leaned in.

No, no. She was not ready for this. He couldn’t… 

The sound of her slap echoed through the room.

Everyone around them turned to them.

She felt her cheeks turning red.

They could only half see them, but they had certainly heard the sound. And there was little doubt as to what it meant.

“I’m sorry,” Makoto said softly. He let go of her hand and sat back in his seat, trying to keep as much distance from her as possible.

The rest of their date was spend in silence.

Kotonoha cursed herself.

She really had fucked up.

What was she even thinking?

When the movie was over she stood up immediately. “I’ll see you at school, Itou-kun.”

Kotonoha hurried away. She pushed past some other customers to get out as quickly as possible. They made disapproving sounds behind her.

On a fast pace, she went to the station.

Once the doors closed behind her, she took her phone from her bag.

“Sekai?”

[Hey Kotonoha. Is your date already over?]

“Yeah. He uhm… he tried to kiss me.”

[Oh. Is he a good kisser?]

“I… I slapped him.”

[You did  _ what _ ?]

“I didn’t mean to, he just surprised me. It came out of nowhere.”

Sekai answered very slowly. [R-Right. So what happened after?]

“What do you mean  _ after _ ? I ran away of course.”

[You didn’t talk with him?]

“I…”

[Look, Katsura, you may have been surprised, but don’t you think you overreacted a little bit? To publicly humiliate him like that?]

“I didn’t intend to-”

[Did you consider there might have been classmates in that cinema? He’s been rejected countless times already, can you imagine the rumours if someone saw that? Remember when I asked you to be gentle with him? This is exactly what I wanted to avoid: him getting hurt again.]

“But…”

There  _ had  _ been a classmate in there, his best friend in fact. Had Taisuke seen that? He would certainly have. It was pretty hard to miss.

“I’ll talk to him tomorrow,” Kotonoha said. She quickly hung up.

She really had screwed up big time. Sekai was angry at her, and Makoto  _ should _ have been angry at her.

How could she ever face them again?

She had screwed up with both of them. This was exactly what she had hoped to avoid.

When she arrived home, she kicked off her shoes and went upstairs. She threw her handbag in a corner of her room and went to the bathroom.

After brushing her teeth, she roughly wiped off her makeup.

Then, she returned to her room and collapsed on the bed. She didn’t even bother taking off her clothes, she just got under the covers and closed her eyes.

Maybe if she went to sleep, she would find out it was all a bad dream and their date hadn’t even started yet.

Tears welled up, and she hardly had the strength to stop them from coming.

Strangely, despite her crying heavily, she drifted to sleep very fast. Almost immediately, a dream started.

In her dream, she was arguing with her own reflection.

Her reflection wore the red dress from last night with makeup and jewelry. Her hair was once again put up with the flowers.

Kotonoha herself wore her first outfit, the long skirt with the pink top and shirt. The one she had worn before Sekai had convinced her to change.

_ “You ruined the date,” Red Kotonoha said. _

_ “I… I didn’t mean to do that,” she argued. “He-” _

_ “It was wrong to do that. You hurt him.” _

_ “No,” she argued. “I… I was scared. He surprised me.” _

_ “You slapped him right in the face. Did you even apologize for that?” _

_ “I-” _

_ “You never think about other people, do you? Such a selfish girl.” _

_ “No, I-” _

_ “You ruined  _ everything _.” Red Kotonoha hissed. “They will both hate you now.” _

_ “No, please-” _

_ Her reflection started fading away. _

_ “Stay, please. Help me.” _

_ The reflection was fully gone now. _

Kotonoha opened her eyes. She wiped the cold sweat from her brow. In her sleep, she had turned around on her back. The blanket had wrapped tightly around her body in her shifting and turning. Her body hurt in several places, most notably her breasts. There was also a throbbing headache. She was certain that if she stood up, or even just lifted her head, the world would spin before her eyes and her headache would worsen.

The alarm clock told her it was the middle of the night.

Kotonoha untangled herself and turned to her side. 

She didn’t dare to get up. The darkness looked like it was about to eat her. Like the monsters were waiting just beyond the edges of her bed. Of course, they were actually inside of her and she could not run away, but-

Kotonoha forced herself to stop that spiral.

She shifted to make sure the duvet covered her entire body. She pulled it over her head even though she was already covered in sweat.  

Kotonoha closed her eyes.

Her dream started again. It was just waiting for her to close her eyes and return.

This time, it was different. She didn’t exist anymore. Her viewpoint floated around, but it was not connected to any physical body.

Yet there  _ was  _ a Kotonoha. The Red Kotonoha, who looked a lot like her, only more confident and a lot more beautiful. And on her arm was Itou. A more handsome version with messy black hair that would make James Dean jealous. He was dressed in a formal suit with tie and looked older and more confident.

They walked inside the movie theater.

_ No, no, this was all wrong. _

Yet, her viewpoint kept floating behind them, following them inside.

They sat down in the theater in the exact same spot. Except there was no popcorn now and the theater was empty safe for them. The screen was also empty.

“Do you mind if I…” Makoto asked.

“Oh please,” Red Kotonoha said. “This is a date, of course it’s fine.”

He leaned in and planted a kiss on her lips.

“Do you think I dressed like this if I didn’t want you to look at me?” she said. She kissed him harder. Kotonoha saw her tongue slipping into his mouth.

“I’m glad I went on this date with you,” Makoto said.

“Me too.”

His lips moved down to trail kisses along her neck.

“I won’t reject you like all those other girls,” Kotonoha said. “You don’t deserve that.”

“You’re such an amazing girl, Kotonoha. Completely different from all those cruel bitches.”

“What are you waiting for, Makoto? You think I’m wearing this for show? You think I’m just teasing you?”

His hand took one of her straps and pulled it down. Her left breast was completely exposed, but instead of being scared, Red Kotonoha just showed a sultry smile.

His lips moved even further down and started kissing her breast.

He moved to her nipple on sucked on it.

Kotonoha moaned loudly.

Her eyes opened.

She was confused for a second. Another dream? 

It had felt very real. Yet, the fact that she was looking at her own alarm clock on her nightstand left little doubt as to whether it had been real.

Somehow, she was idly touching herself inside her panties again.

When she realised this, she pulled away her hand, as if she had gotten an electric shock. She was indeed shocked, but mentally, not physically.

This was so incredibly wrong. It was one thing to have fantasies about Itou-kun,  but to first screw up their date completely and then fantasize about a date that  _ should  _ have happened, that was beyond cruel. She had no right to dream about that after what she’d done.

She turned on her back again.

Kotonoha moved her hand back down. She was smearing her own wetness on her clothes. 

She took a deep breath. This was a terrible idea, but…

“Bad girl,” she whispered to herself.

She tightly shut her eyes and brought her hand down hard right between her legs.

The sound of her slap reverberated through the room. It sounded very similar to her slapping Itou-kun. But of course it could not be compared. She had hurt him emotionally and physically. This was just physical pain.  _ Pain she could handle _ , she told herself as tears formed into her eyes.

The pain between her legs overwhelmed her for while, but then it faded to a dull throbbing. Now she could also feel other pain, mainly in her breasts.

The wire of her bra had jabbed into the tender flesh from twisting and turning in her sleep.

Of course she  _ knew _ she wasn’t supposed to wear a bra while sleeping, but she had not found the energy to take off her clothes last night.

Kotonoha checked the time. It was early morning. She still had plenty of time before school started. But she did not want to fall asleep again and potentially dream. So instead, Kotonoha got out of bed and dragged herself to the bathroom.

She took off her clothes and studied herself in the mirror.

Pretty bad.

Her hair was a complete mess, both eyes were red-rimmed and the left one had some remaining eyeliner running out over her cheek. She saw red patches on her breasts where her bra had bit into the skin.

Kotonoha turned on the shower. She did not wait for the water to get hot.

Any remaining arousal was forced out by the ice cold water. She wasn’t supposed to feel like that anyway. Not after hurting him like that.

She resisted the urge to scream.

While it was only a few minutes at the most, it felt like hell. But eventually, the water got warmer.

Kotonoha calmed down again.

Her thoughts drifted off while she tried to get her hair to look presentable.

At school, she would have to talk to Makoto-kun. Yes, he had surprised her, but she shouldn’t have slapped him. There were other ways to tell him she wasn’t ready to kiss yet. And she had been sending him some wrong signals. After all, she had dressed like that, held his hand, and then opened up another button, so that kinda implied she wanted to kiss. It was her fault he had misinterpreted it. She should have been clear she was not ready to kiss. It was only natural to assume she would want to kiss. She liked him, he liked her, why wouldn’t they kiss?

For a second, she considered drowning herself in the shower, but she pushed the thought away. That would make Itou-kun feel even more guilty.

She had to face her problems, not run away from them.

Kotonoha turned off the shower. She dried off and put on her uniform.

“How did your date go?” her mom asked when she came downstairs.

Kotonoha said nothing.

“That bad huh? Oh well, don’t worry about. You’ll find someone you like.”

“I do like him,” she said.

“But he doesn’t like you?” her mom asked.

“No, he does. At least, I think he likes me.” Or did like her before.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I did something wrong. He probably hates me now.”

“Oh Kotonoha. You do worry don’t you?” she said. “It was your first date, of course you’re a bit nervous. Just apologise and I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“If he likes you, he’ll certainly want to go on a second date with you. And then you just have to make sure you don’t make the same mistake again.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Her mom made it sound a bit simple, but she was right. Kotonoha had made a mistake and she had to make sure she did not repeat it.

“Now,” her mother checked the time. “I have to go to work. But I made you this.” She shifted two black lunch boxes over the table.

“You just packed last night’s leftovers in a lunch box,” Kotonoha said.

“I made you bento you mean?”

“This is way too much for me alone.”

“Then share some with your boyfriend,” her mom said with a smile. “See you tonight.”

“Hey-”

The door closed.

Unbelievable.

Kotonoha put the boxes in her bag.

She would have to hurry or she’d be late.

However, her worries were unfounded since she was on time to catch her usual train without trouble.

She saw him again. He was looking out of the window with his headphones on.

Kotonoha hesitated.

What if he  _ did  _ hate her?

Maybe she should just-

“Katsura-san.” He looked at her. His headphones were in his hand.

“Itou.” She walked up to him.

“Look, about last night-”

“I’m really sorry,” she interrupted him. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that.”

“It’s fine. I understand you are not comfortable with physical things and- woah,” he grabbed the bar when the train kicked itself into motion again.

Kotonoha lost her balance, but Makoto reached out to grab her shoulder with his free hand to keep her from falling.

“Making a habit out of that, huh?” he said. “Anyway, you could have just told me that you don’t want me to do that.” He released her again.

“You surprised me,” she said.

“I know I took your hand, but we were in a movie theater and it seemed appropriate. But if you’re not-”

“You tried to kiss me!”

He frowned. “What are you talking about?”

“You… you reached out to kiss me and I…”

“I was reaching for the popcorn.”

“No… I…”

There was indeed a bucket of popcorn in between them, but he had clearly intended to…

Wait. If his left hand was holding hers, he would have to reach over with the other and twist his body towards her. So in theory it was possible he… 

“I’m so sorry,” she said. She was unable to meet his gaze. “I really thought you… you wanted to kiss me.”

“I would love to kiss a beautiful girl like you, Katsura-san,” he said, smiling softly. “But I would never force it like that. I want to wait until you are ready. And you didn’t seem ready at all.”

“But… then, why did you think I slapped you?” She stole a glance at him

“Because I was holding your hand.”

“I would never slap you for something stupid like that.”

“Well you did, didn’t you?”

“Because I thought you were trying to kiss me.”

“So that would have been fine then? If I had tried to kiss you, it would have been fine to slap me?”

“No, I…” She kept looking at the floor.

“I’m just trying to understand you, Katsura-san. You are a confusing girl.”

“I… I won’t hit you again, I promise. No matter what you do. I’ll tell you if there is a problem.”

“Alright.”

“I ruined the date.”

He took her chin and forced her to look up at him. “It was just a misunderstanding,” he said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I…” she forced back her tears. “Let me make it up to you.”

He released her chin. “If you insist.”

“I do. Are you free on Saturday?”

“This Saturday?”

“Any Saturday you want. Or any other day.”

“My sister is actually coming Saturday. How about Sunday?”

“Sorry, I… anyway, let’s go on a second date Sunday then. I’ll try not to screw things up this time.”

He nodded. “I’m looking forward to it. Where are we going?”

“Uhm… I’ll text you the details later.”

“You don’t even have my number.”

“Sekai kinda gave it to me.”

“Tsk. That girl again.”

“So uhm, what are you listening to?” she asked.

“You want to hear?”

Without waiting for a reply, he placed his headphones over her ears.

A familiar tune played into her ears.

“Is that the soundtrack from…”

“You know that game?” he sounded surprised. “That’s a pretty obscure title.”

“I used to play it,” she said. “It was one of my favorites.”

“Me too. Maybe we could play it together one time?”

“Yeah, maybe.” She handed him the headphones back.

The train slowed again.

His hand touched her waist.

“You really don’t have to steady me each time,” she said. “I’m not gonna fall over.”

“Yeah, you say that, but in practice you do.”

“No I don’t.”

He chuckled. “Katsura, you’re such an airhead you haven’t even noticed this is our stop.” He released her.

“Hey, you-”

He was right.

Kotonoha quickly hurried after him. The doors made a hissing sound and closed just as she had gotten off.

“Ye, you almost left me behind,” she complained.

“Make up your mind, Katsura. Do you want my help or not?”

“I… I’m a grown-up girl, I can handle myself.”

As she spoke the words, a headache welled up. Her legs started feeling very weak.

“Kotonoha? Are you okay?”

“I’m-”

Her legs gave way.

“Woah.”

Itou grabbed her beneath her shoulders so she didn’t fall over. She had to put her hands around his neck to keep her balance.

“Anemia again?” he asked.

She weakly nodded.

He put one arm beneath her legs and lifted her up.

She wrapped her arms around his chest and held him as tight as she could.

“Don’t leave me alone, please.”

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m here.”

She felt her mind slipping away.


	4. Chapter 4

Kotonoha’s eyes fluttered open.

She was in the infirmary again.

Kotonoha pushed herself upright. A faint headache pulsed at the back of her head.

“Third time you’ll have to treat me,” Itou said. He handed her a glass of water.

“Sorry. I’m being a bother to you.”

“Hey, you didn’t faint on purpose, right?”

“No, but…” she looked away. “I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you. You’re just trying to help. And it’s pretty obvious I need your help sometimes.”

“That’s okay. There’s nothing wrong with depending on others when you’re in trouble. You don’t have to do everything alone.”

“I know, but…”

There wasn’t really any reciprocity, was there? Itou-kun was helping her all the time, but she was doing nothing in return. She tried cooking for him, but her cooking sucked, she went on a date with him, but she screwed it up and humiliated him in front of his best friend, he tried helping her and she got angry at him before needing his help again. She was nothing but a bother to Itou-kun.

Why were they even dating? If you could call this dating that is.

“The nurse said you have a pretty heavy case of anemia,” Itou said. “Are you taking iron pills by any chance?”

“Yes, but… I haven’t taken them in a while.”

“Do you have them with you by any chance?”

“Yeah. There are some spares in my school bag I think.”

She saw him crouch down and heard her school bag opening. Normally she would have been angry if someone else had gone through her stuff, but this was Itou-kun and he was trying to help her.

“In the front,” she added.

“There are two kinds of pills here,” he said.

She froze. “That… I… the red ones.”

He came back in sight. “Here you go.”

She avoided his eyes.

“So uhm,” Itou said. “Those other pills.”

“Don’t ask please.”

“Look, I understand. I really do. But I would have preferred if you’d just told me and saved me the embarrassment.”

She looked at him. “Told you what?”

“Well, that you already have a boyfriend.”

“I… I don’t.”

“You don’t? But… those pills, those were…”

“There are other reasons to take those, Itou.”   
“Yeah, if you want a bigger chest I guess, but I don’t think you really need that.”

She pulled up the covers to her chin.

“Sorry,” he said. “That came out a bit wrong.”

“No,” she quickly said. “It’s fine. It was meant as a compliment, right?”

He frowned. “How else could you interpret that?”

“Sorry. I’m always thinking the worst.”

“You’re a weird girl, Katsura.”

It was silent for a moment.

“But you are right,” Itou said. “It’s none of my business. I’m prying too much. I’ll uhm… I guess I’ll go back to class.”

“No!” She grabbed his sleeve.

“Kotonoha?”

“Sorry. Please, stay a bit longer. I…”

“It’s okay.” He moved his hand to take hers. “I’m here for you, Kotonoha.” He gave a soft squeeze.

“I’m on birth control because my periods are pretty heavy,” she admitted. “And long.”

“Oh,” understanding appeared in his eyes. “I see. And those pills lower the blood loss and make you more regular?”

“Yes. I’m surprised you know that.”

“Every boy should know that. This is sex ed 101.”

A silence fell. He was still holding her hand.

“I’m sorry I’m so difficult,” she said eventually.

“Difficult?”

“You know. Fainting, almost falling down on the train, freaking out because I thought you were gonna kiss me, making you stay here with me.”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

“That time I slapped you was definitely my fault. I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions like that.”

“Well there’s nothing we can do about that now.”

“Maybe.”

“Katsura?”

“Ah nothing. We should get back to class.”

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“You didn’t even take your iron pills.”

She quickly took one out and downed it with the last of the water. 

“I’ll walk you to your class,” Itou offered.

“You really don’t have to.”

He chuckled. “That’s funny, Katsura. You say it as if that was a question. I’m walking you to class whether you like it or not. I’d never forgive myself if you fainted again on the way and there was no one to help you.”

“I-I’m not as helpless as you think.”

“Last time you said that you fainted in front of me,” he reminded her.

She sighed. He did have a good point there. “I’ll be in your care then.”

Kotonoha got out of the bed and put on her blazer.

Itou walked her all the way to her class. It didn’t take long for them to reach it.

“Shall we have lunch together again?” he suggested.

“The two of us?”

“I could ask Sekai as well. Whatever you want.”

“We should ask her too. I don’t want to isolate you from your best friend.”

“Okay, I’ll ask her then.”

Kotonoha stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on his cheek.

“Thanks for being here for me, Itou-kun.”

He was stunned by her sudden kiss.

“See you at lunch,” she added before entering the classroom.

The class fell silent and stared at her.

“You’re late,” the teacher said.

“I…” she could do this. “I had problems with my anemia.”

The teacher frowned. “I didn’t know you had anemia.”

“Oh, I see. So you’re not familiar with the files of your own students? I’ll have to make sure I’ll report that tonight at the meeting. I’m sure the principal would like to hear this.”

Fear flashed in his eyes for a second. “Uhum, of course I knew that, I was just joking. Have a seat, Katsura-san.”

She inwardly let out her breath. That was pretty much a gamble. But it had worked. The principal wasn’t even at the meeting, but clearly, their teacher didn’t know that.

At lunch, Otome came to her.

“Making a habit out of being late, Katsura?”

“Excuse me,” Kotonoha said, she gathered her stuff. “There’s someone waiting for me.”

“You’re not going anywhere.”

“No?” She took out her phone. “Oh well, then I’ll just call Makoto-kun to say I can’t go. You know him, right? You went to the same middle school.”

Otome tried to grab the phone but Kotonoha evaded.

However, someone else stood behind her and took her phone away.

She turned.

Minami. Of course. As if Otome could win by herself.

“You didn’t think it would be that simple, would it?” Otome said.

“Oh well,” Kotonoha said. “How long do you think it will be before he comes looking for me?”

“Katsura?”

Perfect timing.

She turned to the door. “Hey, Itou-kun.”

“I-Itou-kun.” Otome’s confidence had suddenly leaked out.

“You’re not bothering my girlfriend, are you, Katou?”

“O-Of course not. Come on, Minami, we’ll be late.”

“Late for what?”

“You know, lunch.”

She grabbed her friend’s arm and dragged her away. On the way out, Minami quickly put Kotonoha’s phone on her desk.

“Girlfriend?” Kotonoha asked. She put her phone away.

He smiled apologetically. “Too presumptuous?”

“No, you’re right. We’re dating, so I am your girlfriend.”

“Well aren’t couples usually kissing and stuff?”

“I…” he was right. It was ridiculous that they hadn’t even kissed yet. If she was his girlfriend, she should act like one.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said. “We can go at the speed you’re comfortable with.”

“Thanks for understanding, Itou-kun.”

“Shall we?” He turned towards the door.

“Itou-kun.”

“Hm?” He looked back.

Kotonoha held out her hand.

“Katsura?”

“You said we’d go at the speed I’m comfortable with. But we are going forward, right? Not backwards.”

He smiled. “Sounds good.”

Itou took took her hand.

His hand guided her up the roof. She felt safe. There was nothing to be afraid of. Itou would lead her and if there was trouble, he’d take care of it, as he always did.

“I’m afraid our club president is not coming today,” Itou said. “She’s having lunch with Kiyoura.”

Kotonoha couldn’t really say she minded. She’d be all alone with Itou.

“I see.”

“And I have to go get some bread first because I didn’t bring anything.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that,” Kotonoha said.

“Huh?”

“I’ve taken care off that.”

“Hm, okay.”

He changed directions and guided her up the roof.

They closed the door behind them. Itou sat down on the bench with Kotonoha next to him. They were close enough that their legs touched.

Kotonoha opened her bag.

“So uhm…”

“Here you go.” She handed him one of the lunch boxes.

“You made me bento?”

“I’m your girlfriend, right?”

“Hm.” With a suspicious look, he opened the box. “Strange.”

“What is strange?” She took out her own box and opened it.

“Those are weird decisions for a bento.”

“Maybe.”

He shrugged. “Itadakimasu.”

She repeated the phrase while clapping her hands together.

He took a bite. “Wow, this is good.”

Why did he sound surprised?

Oh wait.

Her body froze for a second. She had totally forgotten. Itou had obviously assumed Kotonoha had made this bento and he knew she completely sucked at cooking. So he was willing to eat something he thought would taste horrible just because she had made it for him.

“I-Itou-kun.”

“Your cooking has improved a lot, Katsura.” He smiled, completely oblivious.

“It-It’s not mine. These are leftovers from last night. My mom made it.”

“Oh. Well that’s okay.”

“No, no. I didn’t do anything. I should be making bento for you.”

“But you’re not a genius at cooking, are you? You’re trying your best, but-”

“I’ll try harder,” she insisted. “People can learn how to cook.”

“You really don’t have to. I can cook quite well. My mom is bad at it, so I’m doing all the cooking at home.”

“But I want to.”

“Hm. Well it’s up to you.”

They continued eating.

“What are you thinking of?” he asked after a while. “You seem lost in thoughts.”

“Ah, I was just thinking where we should go for our new date.”

“I’m sure you’ll come up with something fun.”

“We can’t go to the movie again. But I don’t know what else you’d like.”

“We can do something you like as well,” he suggested.

“Well I don't have many hobbies. Unless you want to go shopping with me?”

“That would depend on the kind of clothes you need,” he said with a faint smile.

She looked confused. “How so?”

“Well, you know. If you need help finding a bra that fits.”

“Itou-kun!” She hid her chest with her arms.

“It was just a joke.”

“Really?”

“Given your reaction, yes.”

“Oh,” she narrowed her eyes. “So if I had responded differently it wouldn’t have been a joke?”

“Well I can’t turn down a real offer like that from a gorgeous girl like you, can I?”

She blushed. “A-Anyway,” she focused back on her food. “What hobbies do you have? Other than making inappropriate comments?”

“Uhm… ye, with that left out there’s not much else I can think of. Now that I consider it, we’re both kinda boring.”

“Both?”

“Well you don’t have any ideas either do you?” he bounced back.

“Uhm, not really.”

They were silent for a moment.

“I didn’t used to be like this,” Kotonoha said, suddenly more serious. “I had all kinds of hobbies in middle school.”

“Like what?”

“Calligraphy, horse riding, piano, iai,...”

“Iaido?” he sounded excited. “With swords?”

“Yeah.”

“That sounds very cool. Why did you quit?”

“My mom made me give it all up so I could focus on my studies.”

“Oh. Too bad.”

“I still have my sword though,” she tried to cheer him up. “Maybe I could show it to you someday.”

“That sounds really fun. Ye, I’m gonna have to be careful with you.”

“How so?”

“Dating someone who has a sword sounds dangerous.”

Kotonoha chuckled. “They are blunted, don’t worry. But I could still hit you in the head.”

“So, you play piano too?” he quickly changed the subject.

“Not very well.”

“I’m sure you’re great at it.”

“You’re not gonna ask me to play for you, are you?”

“Well now that you mention it.”   
The bell interrupted them.

They put away their empty lunch boxes and stood up.

“Shall we go home together?” he suggested.

“I still have a meeting tonight.”

“I can wait.”

“You don’t have to. We’ll see each other tomorrow on the train.”

“Alright then.”

She gave him a kiss on his cheek. It still felt very bold even though it was no big deal.

Kotonoha went to her class.

Things went quite well for the rest of the day. Otome was keeping her distance, probably still scared from her meeting with Itou. She may have finally found a way to deal with her.

After school Katsura went to the incredibly boring meeting. They talked about the upcoming festival, but she really couldn’t care less. Her class wouldn’t do much anyway.

Although, maybe she could go around the festival with Itou? That would be fun. And there would be a dance at the bonfire. According to their school legend-

“Katsura? Are you paying attention?”

“Huh, oh, sorry Kiyoura-san. I was just thinking about what our class should do for the festival.”

“As we just said, you need to discuss it during homeroom next week.”

“Yes, of course, sorry.”

She could already imagine how well that would go.

After the meeting, she went home.

Strangely, she felt scared going home by herself. It was already getting dark outside.

Maybe she should have taken up Itou-kun on his offer?

Kotonoha sped up her pace. She couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that she was being followed. But every time she looked over her shoulder, her eyes confirmed that wasn’t the case. Maybe she was getting a bit too paranoid?

Kotonoha reached the station and got on the next train.

There was only one other person on the train and it did not comfort her. It was a tall guy in his early twenties with ripped jeans and the smell of alcohol lingering around him. A real delinquent.

Maybe she should take the next train?

It was too late however, the doors had already closed behind her.

She avoided looking at the guy.

“Hey gorgeous.”

She froze. He was suddenly very close to her. Too close.

“You all alone?” he asked.

“No,” she lied.

Her heart was beating wildly in her chest.

The guy kept talking. She dried dodging his questions as well as she could.

She  _ really _ had to get off this train. But what if he followed her out?

The train finally slowed down. She grabbed the bar to keep her balance.

“Be careful you don’t fall, lady.” 

She noticed he had moved his feet wider apart as well. His balance wasn’t ideal due to his drunken state, but it was still better than her own. Really, how bad was she that she could not take one drunk guy?

The doors opened behind her.

She could jump out and take the next train. But… 

“Hey, stay here for a sec.” He grabbed her hand. Despite his intoxicated state, his grip was strong.

“Katsura?” A new voice said.

She turned.

“Itou?”

What the hell was he doing here?

Itou wasn’t alone. He was holding hands with a very small girl with black hair. When he saw Kotonoha and the delinquent, he let go of her hand and came closer.

“Stay out of this, shrimp,” the guy said, suddenly angry. He tried to give Itou a shove, but Itou sidestepped. The guy lost balance and with a final push in his back from Itou he fell out on the platform. Before he could stand up, the doors had closed and the train started moving again.

“Well that was close,” he said.

Katsura hugged him tight. The tears she had been suppressing so far finally reached her eyes.

“Shh, calm down, you’re safe.” He patted her back.

“Don’t leave me please.”

“Shh, I’m not going anywhere, Kotonoha.”

Eventually, she calmed down a bit and released him.

“Onii-chan? Is that your girlfriend?” the little girl asked.

“Oh, uhm…”

“Yes,” Kotonoha said. “I’m his girlfriend.”

“You can’t,” Itaru said, she took her brother’s hand. “I’m gonna marry Onii-chan.”

Kotonoha chuckled. “Oh really?”

“Come on, Itaru-chan,” Itou said. “We went over this, you can’t marry your own brother.”

“Hmph.” Itaru pouted.

“What are you doing here?” she asked Itou.

“Well I didn’t expect to run into you. Although in retrospect, that was probably for the best.”

“Yeah. Thanks a lot. I don’t know what I would have done without you.”   
“I’d thought a swordswoman like you could handle herself.”

She blushed. “A-Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“I’m on my way to Haramihama. Itaru-chan ran away from dad’s house and I’m bringing her back.”

“At this hour?”   
“Dad is pretty mad.”

“I don’t want to live with dad,” Itaru complained. “I want to stay with Onii-chan.”

“Tell that to the judge,” Itou mumbled.

Kotonoha went with them to bring Itaru-chan back. It was only a few stations further and the apartment was close to the station. After that, Itou went with her all the way to her house.

“You sure have a big home,” he said.

“Yeah.” Her mom would probably be worried because she was so late. “Thanks for walking me home.”

“Don’t mention it. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“So uhm, I’ll see you at school then.”

They hugged. 

Kotonoha felt really bad. Their relationship was basically him giving and she receiving at this point.

They said goodbye and Kotonoha went inside.

She took off her shoes.

“I’m home,” she announced.

“Long meeting?” her mom asked.

“Yeah, the festival is coming up.”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Kotonoha faked a smile.

Her eyes fell onto something on the kitchen table.

“What are those?”

“Oh, your dad got them from work.”

Tickets for Aqua Square. Hm.

“Can I have them?” she asked.

“Sure. But there are two of them.”

“So?”

“So, is there someone you want to go with?” Her mom smiled.

“Does Onee-chan have a boyfriend?” Kokoro interrupted them.

“That’s none of your business, Kokoro-chan,” Kotonoha said. “Shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”

“Onee-chan has a boyfriend. When are we gonna see him? Have you kissed already?”

“Stop asking so many questions.”

“You haven’t?” she pouted. “Ye, how can you call him your boyfriend if you haven’t kissed him yet?”

“Itou-kun is not my boyfriend!”

“Itou-kun?”

Kotonoha turned red. “I’m gonna take a bath.”

“See,” Kokoro said as her sister quickly left. “Onee-chan has a boyfriend.”

“But she’s right,” their mother said. “It’s bedtime for you, little girl.”

Kokoro pouted. “No fair.”


	5. Chapter 5

Kotonoha stirred in her sleep.

_ “Makoto-kun,” her voice said. “I think I’ll need some help putting this on.” _

_ Her voice was different. A lot more sultry than usual. And while she spoke the words, she held up a bikini with way too little fabric to cover her chest. _

_ “I’ll gladly assist you then,” Makoto replied. He grinned confidently. _

_ She went into the cubicle. He followed her and closed the door behind them. _

_ Inside, Makoto-kun wasted no time in pushing her against the wall and pressing his lips on hers. _

_ She melted beneath his touch. Kotonoha did not resist when he pushed his tongue past her lips to explore her mouth. _

_ His hands roughly ripped open her blouse. The buttons bounced down on the floor. Kotonoha reached back beneath her blouse to undo her bra. _

_ She wanted to take it all off, but he gave her no time for that. Instead, he  roughly pushed her bra upwards to free her breasts. He only admired them for a short second before swooping down to suck on them. _

_ “Oh, Makoto-kun. Don’t stop.” She ran her fingers through his hair. _

_ Her hands unzipped her skirt. It fell down on the floor. She stepped out of it and pushed it aside with her feet. _

_ His hands went inside her panties to touch her. _

Kotonoha opened her eyes.

Once again, her hand had slipped inside her own panties. It wasn’t Itou-kun who was touching her at all, she did it herself.

The buttons of her top were open, exposing her breasts. Luckily she had opened them normally instead of ripping them off like he’d done in her dream.

How did this keep happening?

She knew she shouldn’t touch. This was wrong. She did not do these things. Kotonoha was a pure and innocent girl.

Yet…

Why did it feel so good? Why did she have such a hard time pulling her hand away?

Hesitantly, she moved her fingers over her lower lips.

A shiver ran through her body. It felt really good. Even better than she had expected.

Her alarm went off.

Annoyed, she grabbed her phone with her free hand and turned it off.

She wasn’t about to stop now. Just a few more minutes. There was still time, her alarm ran earlier than strictly needed.

“Makoto-kun,” she whispered to herself.

Kotonoha moved her fingers a bit upwards. She was even more sensitive there.

It felt unbelievably good.

Her fingers kept exploring down there. Her other hand reached up to grab one of her breasts.

“Do you, like my breasts, Makoto-kun?” she whispered. “It’s okay, you can touch them, don’t be scared.” She moved to pinch her own nipple. “I’m really sorry I’m such a prude. It’s okay if you kiss me  _ all over _ .”

Her fingers were coated completely in her own fluids now.

Hesitantly, she pushed in her middle finger. It easily slipped inside.

Oh wow.

Kotonoha had never touched herself like this before. She really had missed out by not doing this earlier.

Something was building within her. Her fingers started moving faster and more roughly.

She knew what this was. Any more and she would finish. She couldn’t even imagine how good that would feel, to release all this tension build up inside of her.

But it slipped away constantly. She needed more than this. This was not enough to-

“Kotonoha?” A voice yelled. “Are you awake? You’ll be late for school.”

Fuck.

“I’ll be right there mom,” she yelled back.

She had gotten carried away. Today was a normal school day.

Kotonoha jumped out of bed.

She hurried to the bathroom to clean up a bit. Then, she put on her uniform and went down for breakfast.

“It’s rare for you to oversleep,” her mom said. “Were you thinking too much about your boyfriend?”

She turned bright red. “N-No. Of course not.” To hide her embarrassment, she focused on pouring her cereal.

“So have the two of you made up? Did you apologise?”

“Y-Yeah.” 

Had she really apologised? Not exactly, right? It was a bit silly to believe she could just say ‘sorry’ and it would be all fine. She hadn’t even asked whether his best friend had actually said anything about the scene at the theater. It felt more like she had ‘apologised’ because she was afraid of losing him, and not because she actually felt bad about what she had done. 

A tiny part of her still believed it was okay to slap him if he suddenly tried to kiss her. Or if she  _ thought  _ he was gonna do that. But if she was really his girlfriend, a little kiss shouldn’t be a problem.

“Kotonoha?”

“A-Anyway,” Kotonoha said. “We’re going on another date this Saturday.”

“You’re going swimming?”

“Well I still have to ask him, but that’s the plan for now.”

“Hm.”

“No good?”

“No, I was just thinking about something. Anyway, you’ll have to hurry up or you’ll be late.”

“Right.”

She ate her corn flakes faster. When she was done, she put the bowl in the sink. 

In the hallway, she almost bumped into Kokoro-chan.

“Onee-chan? Did you oversleep?” Her sister sounded really surprised.

“No,” Kotonoha lied. She quickly put on her shoes. “Have to go.”

She grabbed her bag and went outside.

With a bit of running, she made it just in time for her regular train.

If she had missed this train she would certainly be late.

“Morning, Katsura.”

She looked up.

“Oh, hey, Makoto-kun.”

“Did you oversleep? Your hair is kinda disheveled.”

He smoothed out her hair with his hand.

She felt a strange sensation when he touched her. It was warm and…

Wet. Her panties were getting wet.

Her thoughts were wandering back to her dream this morning.

_ Calm down _ , she told herself. He was just touching her hair, there was no reason to get all worked up for something like that. Yet she could not stop her body from responding to his touch.

_ It must be the frustration _ , she decided. Since she had been interrupted this morning, her body responded more easily. She was more sensitive than usual.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” she controlled her breathing. “Thanks, Makoto-kun.”

He smiled. “I’m glad you’re calling me that.”

“Calling you… oh.” She felt her cheeks getting hot. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no. We’re dating, right? So you can call me that. In fact I’m really happy you do.”

“O-Okay.”

“Can I call you by your given name as well?” he asked.

“S-Sure.”

“Okay, Kotonoha.”

More wetness seeped into her panties.

How was this even possible? He was hardly doing anything and her body responded.

“Anyway,” she quickly changed the subject. “For our date 2.0.” 

He chuckled. “That’s a nice way to put it.”

She opened her bag and took out the tickets. “How do you feel about the pool?”

“Sounds fun.”

“That’s what I thought too. My dad had some free tickets left. He got them from work.”

“What exactly does he do?” Makoto asked.

“Uhm… it’s pretty complicated.” She didn’t really want to talk about that right now.

“I see. Well I’m looking forward to our date.”

“Me too. You do like swimming, right?”

“Even if I didn't, there are other things you can do in a pool.”

She turned red. “There are?” she asked, feigning obliviance.   
“Yeah. You can enjoy the view and such.”

“Enjoy the…” she slowly repeated. “Hey, you can’t look at other girls on our date.”

“I didn’t know dating you came with such strict requirements. I can’t even  _ look _ at other people?”

She turned red. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant… you shouldn’t need to look at other girls.”   
“Well that kinda depends on you, doesn’t it?”

“Yes, of course.”

He had a point there. If she didn’t give him things to look at, she could hardly complain he looked at other girls. That was like not giving someone food and then complaining they got hungry and ate somewhere else.

The train slowed down abruptly.

Instinctively she reached out and put her hands on his shoulders.

Makoto automatically put his hands on her waist to steady her.

He smiled. “I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose just to touch me.”

She was acutely aware that her body was responding every time he touched her.

“I wouldn’t dare,” she said. She didn’t want to release him.

“Now,” he said. “I’d love to stay like this for a while, but this is our stop.”

“Oh.”

They released each other and got of the train.

Kotonoha stopped on the platform.

He turned. “Something wrong?”

“Uhm…”

She had already fainted on the way from the station to school twice. 

There was nothing she could do about that of course, and it was silly to suddenly be afraid of this little walk. The precise location it happened was entirely random.

Yet… 

“Would you mind holding my hand?” she asked. “I don’t want to get lost. And uhm… well, you know. With my anemia, it’s…”

Makoto smiled. “Of course. You don’t need a reason to hold my hand, Kotonoha.”

He held her hand.

His hand was warm and comforting. Her fear drowned away. Somehow, she felt safe like this.

“Thanks,” she said. “Sorry for being so difficult.”

“Hold on. Your shoelace is open.”

He crouched down. She confirmed the laces of her left shoe were indeed open. She had been in a hurry this morning, so she probably hadn’t tied them properly.

“Makoto-kun, you…”

Kotonoha fidgeted as a red blush crept up on her. They were on the platform, in plain public and he was crouching down to tie her laces like she was a little kid.

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I won’t look up.”

The skirts of their uniform were quite short, so if he looked up, he would surely see her panties. Her body felt so hot at this point she was certain there was a wet spot visible on them. Especially since she had picked white panties this morning.

Yet, another part of her hoped he  _ would _ look up. And then confidently touch her to confirm her wetness. And then push her back against a wall to kiss her while his fingers worked her…

She pushed away the thought.

“I… I’m not a little girl, you don’t need to tie my shoelaces.”

“Don’t worry about it.” He finished tying it and stood up. “Shall we?” He held out his hand.

She took his hand again.

“I must be really annoying to date,” she said. “I can’t even tie my own shoelaces properly.”

Makoto didn’t reply.

“It’s okay,” she said. “Go ahead and say it.”

He stopped walking. “Look, I don’t want to lie to you. You’re not the easiest girl to date. I don’t have any reference, but still…”

“You should be dating someone else. Someone who can hold your hand and… kiss you on the first date. Someone who doesn’t need their shoelaces tied and doesn’t fall every time the train stops.”

“But I don’t want to date anyone else, I want you.”

“Even if I’m so difficult?”

“It’s not like you’re doing it on purpose. I’m sure you’re trying really hard for me. I mean look…” he held up their interlocked fingers. “We’re holding hands.”

“And you’re happy with just that?”

“Do I have a choice? I can’t really force you to do more, can I?”

“ _ Maybe you should _ ,” she mumbled.

He frowned. “Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that.”

“Nothing.”

An awkward silence fell.

“I really don’t mind it as much as you think, Katsura.”

“Kotonoha,” she corrected him.

“Sorry, force of habit. I’m just saying, you don’t have anything to feel guilty about. You can only feel guilty about things you’ve done wrong.”

“But…”

“Unless there is something you’re not telling me,” he added. “I don’t know everything you do in your free time. For all I know you might be a delinquent.”

She looked away.

“It was meant as a joke,” he clarified. “I’m trying to cheer you up.”

“Yeah, sorry.”

There  _ was  _ something she wasn’t telling him. She had not told him anything about her dream this morning, or what she’d done during her dream. Obviously, she wasn’t about to do that, but…

Was it really okay? She was dreaming about some idealised form of their relationship where they could confidently touch each other. But then when they actually met, she couldn’t even kiss him. To her, just thinking about it already felt really good, but Makoto would probably want to actually  _ do _ those things. He wouldn’t be satisfied just thinking about it. 

Meaning she wasn’t being fair to him. Having fun by herself when he was frustrated was pretty selfish of her.

But then again, did she really have the willpower not to do it? Clearly not given she had even shut her alarm and risked being late this morning.

“Kotonoha?”

“Huh?”

“We’re gonna be late if we keep standing around here.”

“Oh, sorry.”

They resumed walking.

“So am I allowed to ask what you were thinking of?” he asked.

“Uhm…”

“Never mind, forget I asked.”

“I was thinking about our date,” she lied.

“Oh.” He smiled. “Well me too. I can’t wait until Saturday.”

“Yeah.” She faked a smile.

They reached the school building.

“Do I see you at lunch?” he asked.

“Sure.”

He hesitated for a second, but then he leaned in to give her a kiss on her cheek. In class, she discovered Otome had shifted gears. She had apparently decided to just ignored her completely. She was probably too scared Kotonoha would complain with Makoto. Seems like her crush on him was pretty big.

Kotonoha smiled inwardly. Makoto was hers.

Well, for now. Unless he grew so frustrated he dumped her.

The smile vanished.

Kotonoha sighed.

She tried to focus on her classes, but her thoughts kept drifting away to Makoto-kun.

In homeroom, they decided to do a haunted house for the festival. Given that it was the only suggestion, it was decided rather quickly.

Makoto came to her class at lunch.

She almost hugged him in front of the entire class, but she managed to restrain herself at the last moment.

“Shall we?” he asked.

She took his hand.

“I uhm, I didn’t have time to pack any lunch this morning,” she admitted. “I was a bit distracted.”

“We could go get something at the convenience store,” he suggested.

“Are we allowed to do that?”

“Are we allowed to go up the roof?” he shot back.

Kotonoha smiled softly. “Alright then.”

They went outside. At this school, the teachers were pretty lax, so they managed to sneak out without trouble.

“I really wanted to make you bento,” she said.

“Don’t worry about it. Maybe next time.”

“Yeah.”

“Although, maybe you should practise a bit on your own first before you…”

“Poison you?” she suggested.

He chuckled. “Something like that.”

They reached the convenience store near their school. They both got the same bento.

“I’ll treat you,” Kotonoha said.

“You really don’t have to,” he protested weakly.

“No, no, I want to.”

Makoto shrugged. “If you insist on it.”

She payed for their lunch and they went back outside.

Behind the store was a park with a pond. They found a bench looking out over it.

It was pretty sunny today. However, despite this, the park was quite empty. Only occasionally someone passed by. Usually someone walking their dog.

“Itadakimasu,” she said.

“Itadakimasu.”

It was silent for a while as they ate.

“Hey uhm, Makoto-kun?” she asked.

“Hm?”

“I uhm, I don’t feel like I properly apologized to you for what happened back then.”

“You mean our first date?”

“Yes. Did uhm, did your friend notice?”

“Well it was pretty hard to miss,” he pointed out. “But hey, it was a silly misunderstanding, right?”

She sighed. “It’s not just that. I shouldn’t respond like that. Even if you tried to kiss me, I shouldn’t freak out. We’re dating after all.”

“So say I wanted to kiss you now…” he turned towards her.

She turned red. “I… I can’t. My heart isn’t ready.”

“I’m in no hurry, Kotonoha,” he said. “I’m ready whenever you are.”

“But… isn’t it frustrating?”

“Well, yeah, of course. But there’s nothing I can do about that, right?”

“Yeah, you’re right.”   
This really didn’t make her feel any better. Makoto had just confirmed what she already knew.

“Class is gonna start again,” he said. “We’ll be late if we keep sitting here.”

“Yeah, we should go back.”

They stood up. She instinctively took his hand.

Several people saw them returning, and she could hear them whispering, but at this point, she really didn’t care. She was with Makoto-kun, that was all that mattered.

Kotonoha tried to focus on the rest of her classes, but only with moderate success.

It didn’t really feel like their relationship was moving forward. And it was all because she was so scared about stupid things. She liked Makoto, so why wasn’t she kissing him?

He texted her during class to tell her they would go home together. He didn’t ask her, he just told her they would.

She texted it was okay. There was no meeting tonight, so they were free at the same time.

Actually, she had wanted him to go with her, but she hadn’t dared asking.

[It’s okay to just ask if you want something by the way,] he texted her.

He was really reading her like an open book now.

[But you’re so good at guessing it,] she send back.

[One of my many talents.]

[Oh, what others do you have?]

[I’d show you what a great kisser I am, but…]

The teacher turned so she had to put her phone away. It was very difficult to text when your seat was on the front row.

She met Makoto-kun after school.

They talked about unimportant things on the way home.

“I can take it from the station,” Kotonoha said when her stop was coming up.

“Are you sure?” he sounded concerned.

“I’ll text you when I’m home okay?”

“Okay. But if you don’t text me, I’ll come save you.”

“I’ll keep you to that,” she said. They hugged each other.

“I’m really looking forward to tomorrow,” Makoto said.

“Me too.”

The train slowed down at her stop.

She didn’t really want to leave, but she had no choice of course.

Kotonoha got of the train. She waved at Makoto on the platform. He waved back.

The doors closed again and the train took him away, out of sight.

She took the short walk to her house. At home, she texted him, like she had promised.

During dinner, her mom subtly tried to interrogate her about Makoto, but Kotonoha deflected her questions. When they were done, she quickly went to her room.

There was something she had to check. And she should have done it way sooner.

Kotonoha opened her closet.

She sighed. Here we go.

… 

Kotonoha reached back and tried closing it but it didn’t work. Her chest was simply too big. She had grown out of it.

She put the top aside with the rest and got dressed again.

There were very little options. Only her school swimsuit and the bikini she had bought in France last year still fit her. 

Wearing her school swimsuit was out of the question of course. This was a real date. It already felt like she acted too much like a child. She could hardly hold hands with her supposed boyfriend and he had to tie her laces for her since she couldn’t do it properly on her own. Wearing a school swimsuit would only make her look more like a dependant kid.

She had to wear something that would convince him she was a real teenage girl. Something that would keep him looking at her.

_ Sorry for being so difficult. _

He hadn’t contradicted her when she said that. It was correct, she  _ was _ a difficult girlfriend. She had given him no real reason to date her so far. A prudish, clumsy, boring girl like her could never be his girlfriend. He got nothing out of it. Quite the contrary in fact since he had to look after her like a babysit.

She hesitantly touched her chest.

Was he dating her only because she had a large chest?

No, no. What was she thinking? Of course not. It was very rude to think that. There were plenty of other girls who would have done plenty of things at this point. It hardly mattered how big her chest was if he couldn’t touch it.

Makoto was dating her for her personality, that much was certain.

_ Yet _ , he was a teenage boy, so he should be interested in that as well.

Kotonoha sighed. Dating her only seemed to have disadvantages for Makoto. But maybe if she wore something good, he could at least enjoy looking at her? Or maybe even touching her.

He had complimented her outfit during their disastrous first date. Even though she had ruined it and publicly humiliated him, he had been able to look at her so he had gotten something out of it, right?

She knew it was silly to believe this could compensate for all the disadvantages, but it was all she had. She had to at least show him she was trying to compensate. That she was making an effort for him. Like he was making an effort for her.

She needed a new bikini. Something more appealing than this.

But…

How could she know he would like it? She didn’t know anything about his tastes. What colors did he like? And what if it was too seductive and he would think she was a slut? He had already seen she was on the pill, so he would certainly think she was screwing around with everyone. She had to make sure he knew she was only wearing it to please him, yet, she couldn’t tell him that explicitly, right?

Kotonoha sighed. Why was dating so difficult?

She took out her cellphone and navigated to a contact. The list was so short she didn’t even have to scroll down.

In case of emergency…

“Sekai?”

[Kotonoha? Are you okay? I heard you’re going on a new date with Makoto.]

“Yeah. And I have a problem.”

[I’m listening.]

“I don’t know what to wear.”

Sekai chuckled. [Aren’t you going to the pool?]

“Yes. And I only have one bikini that fits me.”

[Doesn’t seem like you have much choice then.]

“I could go buy a new one,” she suggested.

[Is something wrong with the one you have now? Out of fashion?]

“No, but… I don’t know if Makoto-kun will like it.”

[Makoto-kun. Hm, interesting. You’re getting close aren’t you?]

“I…you…”

Sekai chuckled. [It’s okay, Kotonoha. He’s your boyfriend, you should call him by his given name.]

“Yeah, of course.”

[As to your problem, if you’re really worried about it, there’s only one thing you can do: you’ll just have to ask him what he likes.]

“But… I can’t do that.”

[Why not? Look, either you can guess and hope you get it right, or you can just ask him and then you’ll know for sure. Which one is more likely to give a good result?]

“Can’t  _ you  _ subtly ask him?”

[How subtle is that?  _ Hey Makoto, what kind of bikinis do you like?  _ Don’t you think he’ll realise I’m asking on your behalf?]

“Yeah, you’re right, sorry, stupid idea.”

[You’ll just have to ask him.]

“My heart isn’t ready.”

[Fine, then I’ll ask him.]

“You can’t.”

[I’m doing this for you, Kotonoha. If you’re worrying enough to call me, it must be important to you. What are you gonna do if you pick something on your own and he doesn’t like it? Or what if he doesn’t comment at all? You won’t dare to ask him so you’ll just keep worrying about it.]

“Okay then, I’ll ask him.”

[You’re just saying that so I won’t do it for you.]

“No, I will ask him, I promise.”

[Well I’ll be checking.]

“I know. Thanks for your help, Sekai.”

[Wasn’t I a bit too forceful?]

“You’re right, I’m gonna keep worrying unless I just ask him. Thank you for making me realise that, Sekai.”

[My pleasure. Now go ahead and call him.]

“Right now?”

[You’re not trying to get out of it again, are you?] her voice took on a dangerous tone.

“No, I’ll call him now. Bye, Sekai.”

[Bye.]

She hung up.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. Here we go.

[Kotonoha?]

“Hey, Makoto-kun.”

[To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?]

She froze.

This wasn’t possible.

She slowly reached beneath her skirt.

Yes, wetness. It wasn’t much, but it was there. Just from hearing his voice over the phone. This wasn’t normal. Something was wrong with her.

[Kotonoha?]

“Sorry,” she retracted her hand. “I uhm… I wanted to hear your opinion on something.”

[Sure. What is it?]

“Swimsuits.”

[Oh. Well… I’m in favor of them?]

She chuckled. “No I mean, what kinds do you like? What colors and… how much should they cover?”

[That’s difficult to say. It depends on the girl wearing them I would say. Some things fit better for some girls.]

“Yes, of course, but…”

[You mean what would look good on you?]

“Well, yes.”

[Ye, that’s difficult to say without seeing it on you.]

“Yes, of course. I understand.”

[It does sound like it’s important to you.]

“Maybe a bit.”

[Shall we go shopping together then?] he suggested.

“I don’t know if I’m comfortable with that.”

[But we are going to the pool so everyone is gonna see you anyway.]

“Yes, but…”

[If you don’t want to, it’s fine. It was just a suggestion.]

“No, uhm… that’s actually not a bad idea.” If he went shopping with her, there was very little doubt he would approve of her choice. It wouldn’t be a surprise of course, but she’d have to settle for this until she learned more about what he liked.

[Well if you really want to, I’m okay with it.] his tone shifted subtly.

“But… this was your idea?” Why did he make it sound like she had suggested it?

[How so? You’re the one who called me. I just said what you wanted me to say.]

“But-”

[You know that you can’t judge any kind of clothing without seeing it.]

“Well, yes,” she confirmed.

[Meaning…]

“I guess I did not give you much option to suggest anything else,” she admitted. “You’re right.”

[Okay.]

It was quiet for a second.

“I feel bad about making you do all this for me.”

[Don’t worry so much about it, Kotonoha. You’re doing plenty of things for me as well.]

“Like what?”

[Uhm… like…]

“See. I’m a terrible girlfriend.”

[But you’re  _ my  _ terrible girlfriend. The fact that you are worried about this does show you do care about me and you are trying hard.]

“I guess.”

Things weren’t really going anywhere like this. She felt like she was a bad girlfriend and her solution was to make him go shopping with her? Boys hated shopping. If she was really his girlfriend, she should know what he likes already.

And she had even tried to make it sound like he suggested it, but actually she had cornered him until that was the only option. 

If anything she was making matters worse. He would certainly get bored if she took him shopping.

[So, shall we go on Saturday then?] he asked. [Before we go swimming.]

“Yeah okay. To Sakakino Hills?”

[Do I have another option?]

She smiled. “Not really.”

[Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow then.]

“Yeah.”

[Sweet dreams, Kotonoha.]

“What?”

[Uhm, I just said goodnight.]

“Sorry, uhm, goodnight, Makoto-kun.” 

She quickly hung up.

Him mentioning dreams had thrown her off for a moment. Obviously Makoto-kun didn’t know what kind of dreams she had, but sometimes he made it sound like he did.

Maybe he was the one sending them?

She chuckled. That was silly of course. Dreams did not work like that.

Kotonoha checked the clock. It had already gotten quite late.

She went to the bathroom.

After brushing her teeth, she got undressed. She pulled out her thick pyjamas, but then reconsidered.

Instead of putting them on like she always did, she took out a grey tank top and panties.

When she got beneath the covers, it felt very different.

She felt more free than before. In this outfit, she could move more easily.

Kotonoha wondered whether this would influence her dreams as well.

The answer came not even two minutes after she had closed her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Kotonoha opened her eyes. She was hardly surprised that her hand was inside her panties again.

Was it Makoto-kun who was doing this to her? She had never done  _ anything  _ like this before, and now she could hardly go a night without waking up all hot and wet. This wasn’t normal.

Kotonoha reached up and touched her chest. Through the thin fabric, she could feel her nipples had grown hard.

In the past she may have resisted the urge, but at this point she pretty much knew it was pointless. Whether she resisted or not, she woke up soaking wet every morning fantasizing about Makoto. 

And it felt so good to touch, so why would she stop doing it? Besides, if she could push herself over the edge, maybe the frustration would go away? Or at least it could lessen a bit.

She closed her eyes again, trying to get back to the dream.

Kotonoha pulled down the straps so her chest was freed. She fondled her chest with her free hand.

As she played with herself, she whispered his name.

They were gonna go shopping today.

Would he push her inside the dressing room and force her to strip down in front of him?

He definitely would. Why else would he go with her? To a boy, shopping was utterly boring.

She worked her fingers faster.

Makoto would have to touch her to see if everything fit well. A bikini could not be too tight or too loose.

Kotonoha roughly pulled down her panties and kicked them off so she could touch herself more easily.

_ “Strip.” _

_ “Yes.” _

_ With shaking fingers, she undid the buttons of her blouse. Her hands reached back to undo her bra. _

_ When she reached her skirt, she hesitated. _

_ Tired of her slowness, Makoto pushed her against the wall. He bunched up her short skirt around her waist. She wasn’t wearing panties beneath it. Her own fluids were already running down her thighs. _

_ Kotonoha bit her lip. “It’s you who did this to me.” _

_ He reached out to touch her between her legs. _

Would he touch her the same way she did herself? Or would he be more rough with her? He would do it harder, right? Or would be be more hesitant? Maybe he’d worry about her and do it softly, making sure not to hurt her.

_ “What do you want, Kotonoha?” _

_ “I… I don’t know.” _

_ “Figure it out, Kotonoha. Which way do you like it?” _

_ “I…” _

She slowed down. This felt good too. Different, but good as well. Doing it very slow made her all the more aware of what she was doing. When she did it fast, it was easy to forget. But on an agonisingly slow speed, she was acutely aware of how dirty and wrong this was. And she could not deny how much she enjoyed how immoral it felt.

_ “Do it however you want to, Makoto-kun,” she begged. _

_ “What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.” _

_ “But…” _

_ “You don’t let me. You’re too much of a prude to let me do this to you. But deep down, we both know this is what you want, right?” _

She opened her eyes again, gasping for breath.

Holy crap.

She suddenly wasn’t in the mood to keep going anymore. Her arousal had leaked out completely.

That dream was so weird, why had it changed tone like that?

She already knew of course. It was her own guilt. While she was getting off fantasising, Makoto got nothing.

Kotonoha got out of bed. It was still a bit early, but she might as well start to get ready for her date. She’d need some time anyway.

First, she took a long shower. She washed her hair twice and spent a lot of time brushing and drying it until it fell perfectly smooth over her shoulders. After that, she got dressed.

_ Maybe I should get some new underwear _ , she thought as she hooked her aqua blue bra. You never knew when Makoto-kun would see it. And she didn’t want him to think she was a little kid. Something more adult with less bright colors might be better. 

Kotonoha tested out several outfits before settling on a short skirt and a white blouse. The skirt was even shorter than the one she had worn on their first date. If she bend over completely, he would be able to see her panties. Of course she wasn’t going to bend over, but still.

Kotonoha buttoned the blouse up from below, but stopped much earlier than she would usually do. If you came close enough, you could look down and see her bra. But only Makoto was likely to come near enough for that.

She went back to the bathroom to apply some makeup.

There was still some time left, but she didn’t want to be late so she went downstairs after that.

Having breakfast wasn’t easy. She was so nervous her stomach had twisted into a knot and she could hardly hold anything inside.

What if she screwed up again? She had already ruined one date, if she ruined this one as well, there was little chance he would want to go on a third date.

And how going shopping a date? She really shouldn’t have asked him that. What girl dragged a boy with her to go shopping on a second date? Her mom didn’t even ask dad to go shopping with her and they were married for over a decade.

Kotonoha sighed deeply.

About halfway through her cereal, she gave up trying to force more food in her mouth. She threw the rest away and retrieved her handbag.

It was still a bit early, but she didn’t want to be late.

Kotonoha put on her shoes and went outside.

She felt her heartbeat go up slightly on the short walk to the station.

_ Calm down _ , she told herself. This was no big deal. At this hour, the streets were perfectly safe.

Luckily, there were several people on her train, reassuring her a bit. Very little could happen if you were surrounded by people. At least, that is what she told herself.

She tried reading her book on the train ride, but her eyes stayed on the exact same page all the way. All too soon, the train slowed down at her stop. Instinctively, she tried to reach for Makoto, but he wasn’t there. Then, she suddenly realised she didn’t need to. Her balance was fine, she was not falling at all.

Kotonoha looked down. Her legs were perfectly stable.

Very strange. Normally she could never keep her balance and now…

Oh wait.

She quickly got off the train before the doors could close.

Really, she shouldn’t let herself get distracted by these stupid things, she’d almost missed her stop.

Kotonoha walked to the spot where they had agreed to meet.

Fifteen nerve-wrecking minutes later, Makoto arrived. He was about five minutes earlier than the time they had agreed upon.

“Makoto-kun.”

“Oh, hey Kotonoha. You look good.”

She hugged him to hide her blush.

Her body responded to hug very quickly.

At this point, touching him, hearing his voice, seeing him or even just  _ thinking _ about him made her wet. Her nipples had already grown hard beneath her blouse. Luckily her bra hid that, but she couldn’t help but feel like Makoto could sense her arousal somehow.

“Shall we?” he asked.

“Yeah, sure.”

They went into Sakakino Hills.

Makoto took her hand, which made her even more wet.

“Something wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she lied. “Thanks for helping me out.”

“No problem.”

She took a deep breath. She really had to calm down.

He guided her to a store which specialised in swimsuits (Jo-Q Hands).

They had every possible color and pattern she could think of (and also the ones she couldn’t think of). They also had a wide range of sizes, which was kinda important to her. They would definitely find something suitable here.

“So, what do you like?” Kotonoha asked.

“You,” he replied.

She blushed. Kotonoha really hoped he could not see how hot her body was.

“Oh sorry, were you talking about swimsuits?” he asked, smiling mischievous.

“You know I was.”

“Well, first things first: what’s your size?”

“Ye, you can’t ask a girl questions like that.”

“Well we do need to find something in your size, right? It’s useless to say if I like something if it doesn’t fit.”

“Well what size do you think I am?” she asked.

“Difficult to say without touching them.”

Was it even possible to blush more?

How would it feel if he touched them? Would it feel different from when she touched them herself? Didn’t she secretly  _ want  _ him to touch her? 

If she didn’t why would she get so wet for him?

“Eyes only,” she said in a weak voice. “No touching.”

He smiled. “So I can look as much as I want?”

She blushed even harder. “I guess it’s okay if you just look.”

He wasn’t really harming her if he just looked, right? And if anything, she had put on this outfit so he would look at her, so it was a bit cruel to tell him he couldn’t.

“A-Anyway, my size is 95E.”

“Wow.”

“W-What?”

“Nothing. So uhm, let’s look around.”

Her size turned out to be impossible to find. Was she that exceptional? They were pretty big, but not impossibly big, right?

“Hold on,” Makoto said. He walked to an attendant. It was a good looking girl with a blonde ponytail. Kotonoha guessed her to be in her twenties.

“Hey,” Makoto said to her. “I wonder if you could help us out.”

“Sure,” the attendant smiled.

“We can’t seem to find her size,” he said.

The attendant looked at Kotonoha. “Hm. And what is your size?”

“Uhm… 95E.”

She frowned. “That can’t be right.”

“Ah, sorry,” she realised what the problem was. “My bras all come from France.” 

“I see. Well that explains. So, 95E should be around 80F then. Hold on a sec.”

She walked away and returned a bit later with a white bikini top.

“Try this on first, I think it will match your French size.”

“Uhm.” Kotonoha seemed to be worried about something as she accepted the top.

The attendant guided them to the changing rooms, but Kotonoha didn’t enter. 

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked.   
“I uhm. I’m not so good with strings. My old bikinis all had hooks.”

“Oh,” the attendant said. “Well your boyfriend can help you out.”

“Uhm.”

She gently pushed both of them in and closed the curtain.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

“Uhm,” Makoto whispered. “I can leave if you want me to.”

“No.” She took his arm. “As I said, I can’t put it on myself. I’ve never worn string tops before.”

“I could ask the attendant to help you.”

“If I can choose between a random woman and you, I prefer you.”

“Okay.”

“But, could you close your eyes please?”

“Of course.”

He sat down on the bench and closed them.

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

He wasn’t going to peek on her was he? Did she even mind if he did? Didn’t she secretly want him to-

She cut off the thought. This was not the proper place to think about that. Besides, Makoto was not going to peek on her.

Kotonoha undressed herself. Her thoughts couldn’t help but wander off to her dream from this morning.

“Okay, you can look,” she said when she was done.

He opened his eyes again.

Kotonoha stood with her back to him. The top strings on her neck were tied, but the bottom ones weren’t.

“Please don’t stare so much,” she said. “It’s embarrassing.”

It felt very vulnerable to stand like that. But somehow, that made her even more wet.

“Sorry. I’ll just, close them up.”

He stood up and took the strings.

Inevitable, his hands brushed past her back. She really hoped the top would hide her hard nipples well enough.

“Not too tight,” she said. Kotonoha had a real hard time controlling her breathing.

“Sorry.” He loosened up a bit. “Alright, this should do it.”

Unable to stop herself, she spun around and embraced him.

“Kotonoha?”

His girlfriends stood on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the lips.

Makoto was very surprised by the sudden kiss, but before he could respond, her lips had left him again.

“Sorry,” Kotonoha said softly.

This was all wrong. Her body had gotten all tingly and hot, but…

She was sending the wrong signal. What if he wanted more? If he suddenly kissed her back, she would certainly freak out again and push him away. She could not impose double standards on him. If she was allowed to kiss him, he should be allowed to kiss her back.

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked, recovering from his initial surprise. “I’m really happy you kissed me.”

“Nothing.”

She quickly opened the curtain.

“Hm,” the attendant said. “Looks like it fits well.”

“Yeah, thanks for your help.” Now that they knew her Japanese size, it should be a lot easier.

“That’s my job,” the attendant said.

“I’ll get changed again and then we’ll look around.”

“Most of the larger sizes are around there,” the woman said, pointing to a certain section of the store.

“Thanks.”

She closed the curtain again.

“Could you close your eyes again?” Kotonoha asked.

“Yeah, sure.” He looked very confused.

Kotonoha put on her clothes again.

“Okay, I’m done.”

They went back out. She went to the section the attendant had previously pointed out.

While she was right about the larger sizes, these also seemed to be the more revealing designs.

“Sorry about uhm…”

“It’s not your fault,” Kotonoha said, avoiding his eyes. “I should be thanking you for helping me out.”

“Yes, but, I didn’t really object when she said I was your boyfriend and she pushed us inside.”

“Neither did I,” Kotonoha said. “So I can’t really blame you.”

“I guess.”

“Besides, I don’t think you really minded it.”

“Well uhm…”

She looked him in the eye. He really did look like he felt guilty about it. “You don’t have to pretend, Makoto. You’re a guy, of course you want things like that.”

“But I would never force you to do things you don’t like.”

“You didn’t force me, did you? Besides…”

_ Who says I didn’t like that? _

“Hm?”

“Nothing. So uhm, what do you think about this?”

She picked up a random bikini from the hangers.

“Hm. You really think black is your color?”

She was taken back by that. “Have you done this before?”

“Maybe,” he avoided.

“Ye, you’re gonna make me jealous, Makoto-kun.”

“Don’t worry. Sekai didn’t ask me to help her put it on.”

“Well neither did I.”

“Yes you did. You said you were bad at tying those strings.”

“I am.”

“But you could have tied them first at the front, then shifted it around, pull up, tie the top ones and pull them over your head.”

“...” Yeah, that could actually work. “I-I didn’t consider that. Besides, it sounds quite difficult.”

Or was it awfully convenient she had not considered that? Now that he said it, it sounded so obvious. And technically, she could have asked the attendant for a top with hooks instead.

“Even so, by saying you’re bad with them, you’re implying you want help, and you said inside you prefer me to the attendant, so in a way, you did ask me to help you. Not directly of course.”

“That’s stretching things a bit.” Makoto was twisting her words around a bit to make it sound like she  _ wanted  _ to get in a situation like that. It was very strange she had somehow gotten in the exact situation she had dreamed about, but still-

“Hey, I’m joking. What are you so worried about? You didn’t do anything wrong, did you? We are dating.”

“I…I don’t want to give you the wrong signals. I’m not ready to… you know, touch you and…”

“Kiss me?”

“That was,” she looked at the ground, her cheeks red. “In the heat of the moment.”

“Do you regret it?”

“No,” she quickly said. She looked back up at him.

“Then what’s the problem? You worry too much, Kotonoha.”

“But, now you’re gonna expect me to kiss you again. Or you’ll want to kiss me back and…”

“You can kiss me whenever you want, Kotonoha, don’t worry. And if I really want to kiss you, I’ll ask first.”

“But, that’s-”

“That way you won’t have to worry, right? When I startle you you can get uhm…”

She thought back at the popcorn incident. He was right, she could overreact.

“Thanks, Makoto-kun.”

“My pleasure. So uhm, back to the job at hand?”

Kotonoha touched her belly. She felt a weird sensation.

“Kotonoha?”

“Uhum,” she hid her discomfort. “So what are your opinions on red?”

“Uhm, I’m in favor of it?”

“I was thinking of this one,” she said. She picked up a bikini.

“Oh, are you sure?”

“Well I can’t be sure until I try it on.”

“Good point.”

They picked up a few more bikinis and then Kotonoha went to try them on. She tried to ignore the nagging feeling in her belly.

Most of the bikinis looked reasonably good on her. She deliberately saved the red one for last.

The red one had a different design from many others swimsuits. In the middle was a silver ring where the fabric was attached to. In the back, there was a clasp to close it. However, there were no shoulder straps. Instead, she had to attach a simple red string around the middle ring which looped around her neck to keep the top up. Due to this design, it covered way less than the previous ones. The top of her breasts was basically fully exposed. It was something she would have never picked if Makoto hadn’t been with her.

She almost didn’t dare to open the curtain.

“You okay?” Makoto asked. “Do I need to help you out?”

She opened the curtain.

His mouth fell open slightly. “Oh wow.”

“Do you like it?” she asked. She already felt a blush creeping up on her face to match the red of the top.

“I do. It’s beautiful. I mean, you are beautiful in everything of course, but-”

“I’ll take this one then.”

“Are you sure?” Makoto asked.

“Yeah, you like this one, right?”

“I do. But does it provide enough support without the shoulder straps?”

“Strangely, yes.” She didn’t know what physics was going on here, but the top could support her well enough.

“Okay. Well if you really want that one, you should get it.”

“Thanks, I will.”

She got dressed again. The feeling in her stomach was getting worse.

Kotonoha went to pay for the bikini and then they went outside.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Makoto asked. “You look pale.”

“I have a suspicion,” she replied. “What time is it?”

He checked. “Almost midday.”

“How do you feel about lunch?”

“Uhm, I’m in favor of it?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda winged Kotonoha’s bra size since it’s not mentioned anywhere in canon and bra sizes make absolutely no sense. Her BWH is 102-60-84 so I assumed her underbust is around 80. This results in a bra size of 80E (European), 36DD (USA), 95E (France) and 80F (Japan). But that size is unlikely to exist outside specialised stores, so it’s more likely Kotonoha would wear something like 85D (European) instead. So I assumed the store is so big it even has those sizes. Anyhow, it’s hardly relevant for the rest of the fic.


	7. Chapter 7

“You look better,” Makoto said when they were done eating lunch.

“I didn’t have much breakfast this morning,” she explained.

“Oh, did you oversleep?”

“Too nervous.”

“Oh. I see.”

An awkward silence fell.

Kotonoha had every reason to be nervous. Although so far, things had gone reasonably well. Makoto liked her bikini so she didn’t have to worry about looking good anymore. And to be honest, she really liked it too. Red was a color that suited her quite well.

“So, shall we?” he finally broke the silence.

“Aren’t you supposed to wait an hour after eating?” she asked.

“Why?”

“Uhm… I don’t know actually.”

“Where you planning to do some pretty wild swimming?”

“You don’t know how wild I am.” She spoke the words without thinking, only realising a beat later she had said it out loud.

Makoto chuckled. “Well that was unexpected.”

“I, uhm…”

“Now I kinda want to see that,” he said excitedly.

“Uhum,” she cleared her throat. “We should go.”

She quickly went outside to hide her embarrassment. Makoto walked behind her.

Outside, she stopped to take his hand.

Her boyfriend smiled at her.

Together, they walked to the pool. From the clouds, it looked like it might rain later on, so they picked up the pace. It took them about ten minutes to reach it.

“There it is,” he said.

The building itself was huge. From here, she could already count six different water slides.

Just then, the first raindrops started falling.

“Let’s get inside,” she said.

Since Kotonoha already had free tickets, they could immediately go through the gates without passing the register first.

“You’ve been here before?” Kotonoha asked.

“A few times,” Makoto said. “You?”

“Yes, but it’s been a long time.”

They reached the changing rooms.

“Do I need to help you put it on or will you manage on your own?” Makoto asked.

“I-I’ll manage.”

She quickly went inside a cubicle and closed the door.

Kotonoha breathed out. His offhand remark had brought back memories about one of her dreams.

But she could not go on a tangent now. This was a public swimming pool after all.

Kotonoha stripped down and put on her brand new bikini.

The top was designed really well. Her own chest kept the fabric under tension, mainly at the bottom. It looked like less fabric had been used there to increase the tension and keep her chest up.

It was not that easy to close the clasp. Maybe she really should have asked Makoto’s help?

She put on the matching bottoms, took her bag and went out.

Makoto was already waiting for her.

“You look good,” he commented.

She blushed a bit. “Thanks.”

They put away their bags in the lockers and went inside.

“Wow.”

Even though she had been here before, it still surprised her how big it was.

“We’re gonna have to try out those water slides,” Makoto said.

“Agreed.” She resolutely made for the nearest one.

“Hey, hold on a sec.” Makoto hurried behind her.

“Oh, sorry.”

“Don’t go running of on your own. This place is huge.”

He had a point there. If they got seperated, it wouldn’t be easy to find each other again in a place this big.

“I’m sorry. Hold on, I’ve got an idea.” She took his hand. “Better?”

He smiled. “Well I just don’t want you to get lost.”

She turned red. “I’m not gonna get lost. Come on.”

She semi-dragged him to the first slide.

They waited in the line on the stairs.

“Do you want to go together?” he asked.

“Sure.”

When it was their turn, they sat down on the slide. Makoto wrapped his arms around her belly.

“Makoto-kun?” So this was what he meant with ‘going together’?

“I have to hold you, right?”

“Yeah, sure... uhm…”

“The light is green.”

“Oh.”

He pushed them forward so they slid down.

She forgot her worries for a moment. The air rushed past her, playing with her hair.

All too soon, it was over. Makoto released her just before the end.

She felt a little stab of disappointment.

They fell into the pool and swam away to a safe distance.

“That was fun,” Kotonoha said. She moved her wet hair out of her eyes. “Let’s try the next one.”

“As you wish, my lady.”

She chuckled.

They tried all of them, finishing with the highest one.

The last one did not end into a pool. Rather, there was a straight exit ten steps long, built in hard plastic. It contained water half a metre deep. When someone came out, a huge splash of water was send out which slowed them down to a stop quickly. Apparently this was needed because you went too fast to end in a regular pool.

Excitedly, they went up the stairs.

Once again, she sat down between his legs and he wrapped his arms around her.

It felt very safe like that. Yet, she felt something else too. A strange worry that something would go wrong.

But there was no time to think about that now. The light was green.

They pushed themselves down the slide.

It was fast. Way faster than the previous ones.

Makoto once again released her just before they reached the end.

A huge wave of water hit her which forced her body to a stop.

Kotonoha was unprepared for that. Water got into her nose and mouth and she started coughing violently. She pushed herself up and breathed in deeply. Damn, that was unexpected.

“Kotonoha, your top.”

“Huh?” She looked up at him.

Suddenly, Makoto pulled her into a tight embrace.

“Makoto-kun.” She was startled. “What are you doing?”

“Do not release me,” he urged her.

“I…” She started panicking. What the hell was he doing? He couldn’t suddenly embrace her like that in public. Actually, even out of public that would have taken her off guard. She was gonna freak out again and-

“Do you trust me?” he asked, looking her straight in the eye.

“Of course,” she replied immediately. “But… Look, I’m  _ really  _ not ready for-”

“You don’t feel it?”

“Feel what?”

A terrifying suspicion reached her. Did he know how wet she got when they embraced like this? He couldn’t know that, right? He-

“Your top.”

“My…”

Now that he said it, something did indeed feel off. She had been too distracted by other feelings to notice before, but something felt wrong on her chest. The tension was different.

She looked down. The wave had shifted her top. The left side had shifted so far up one of her breasts was out completely.

Kotonoha turned as red as her bikini.

“Don’t worry, we can fix this,” Makoto said.

“Don’t worry!?”

“If you’re gonna panic this is gonna end badly,” he said calmly. “Rely on me for a change.”

She looked around. People were deliberately not looking at them. Makoto’s arms hid her well enough so they probably just thought it was slightly inappropriate to hug so intimate at the exit of the water slide. They could not see her predicament.

Kotonoha nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m gonna open your top. You shift it back in place and then I’m gonna close it again.”

“O-Okay.”

“Are you sure you can do that?”

“Of course I can,” she said.

“It’s just that I’m having the feeling my arms are the only thing holding you up at this point.”

He was right about that. Her legs were shaking. If he released her, she might fall.

Kotonoha took a deep breath and forced her body to calm down. “Okay, I’m ready.”

He held her more loosely and opened the clasp. Kotonoha moved her top back in place and he closed it again. It went very smoothly. She doubted many people had noticed what had happened.

When he was certain it was all back in place, he released her.

“That was close,” he said.

“Y-Yeah.”

“We should probably get out of here, we’re kind of in the way.”

She nodded weakly.

He took her hand and guided her out of the water.

“Thank you,” she blurted out. If Makoto had not helped her, it could have been a lot more embarrassing.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. That can happen.”

“But always to me.”

“I don’t mind saving you. Do you mind being saved?”

“It’s not about that.”

Why was she so clumsy? Kotonoha was certain these accidents did not happen so often before she met Makoto. Now she was fainting and tripping left and right.

“Kotonoha?”

“I’m starting to think it’s your fault.”

He chuckled. “I did not move your top, Kotonoha.”

“Don’t treat this like a joke. I’m serious.”

“So you seriously believe that I somehow managed to move your top like that? I mean it would be an interesting power, but unfortunately I don’t have it.” His voice was sceptical and even a bit belittling. Like he was talking to a little kid. That annoyed her even more.

“And you’re making me faint and lose my balance constantly,” she added.

“Are you aware of how ridiculous you sound? How would I even do that? And  _ why _ ?”

“Because you like saving me.”

He opened his mouth and then closed it again. All playfulness had vanished from his face.

“I’m going home,” he announced.

He turned and walked away.

“Wait, Makoto.”

She hurried after him, but her feet slipped on the wet floor. Kotonoha stopped to regain her balance.

How could Makoto walk so fast on this floor?

She only caught up with him at the lockers.

“Wait, Makoto-kun.”

“If that’s really what you think then why are we still dating?” He was really angry now.

“I’m sorry.”

He looked at her. “No you’re not.”   
Makoto tossed his bag over one shoulder.

“Wait.” She grabbed his shoulder.

He looked at her hand. “I think you’re pretty presumptuous in touching me considering you’re freaking out if I touch you. Even if I’m helping you, which is usually the case.”

She slowly retracted her hand. “Can we just talk? Please?”

He took a deep breath. “Alright then.”

Makoto put his bag back in the locker.

“I know a good place,” she said.

They walked back into the pool and up a flight of stairs.

At the top were a bunch of sunbeds. The glass roof allowed sunlight to shine on them. But considering it was raining right now, they weren’t being used.

Kotonoha sat down on one of them. Makoto sat down on the one opposite of hers.

“I’m really sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to say it like that.”

“But you did want to say something.”

“It’s just… since we dated, I feel like things are changing. I’m more clumsy when you’re with me.”

“Maybe I’m just distracting you.”

“Maybe. But I usually don’t faint that much. And you always happen to be around when I do.”

“Maybe you just forgot to take your iron pills,” he suggested.

“I’m usually fine without them. No, there is something else going on. You can’t deny that you happen to be around every time.”

“So you’re saying I’m the cause?”

“No, no. Of course not. I shouldn’t have said that, that’s absurd. You’re the one helping me all the time.” She took a deep breath. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand you anymore, Kotonoha.”

“There is something else too. Ever since we met, I’ve been having strange dreams about you every night.”   
“What kind of dreams?”

“Uhm…”

“Yes?”

“Well, you know…” she played with her fingers. “Stuff.”

“If you’re not telling me I can’t help you.”

“Dreams where we are… kissing and such.” She hoped he would not press on.

“Kissing? Well couldn’t that be because you  _ want _ to kiss me? You already kissed me this morning and I don’t know why you wouldn’t do it again. Do you regret it?”

“No, it’s just… I’m scared.”

“Scared about what? I’m not gonna bite. Much.”

“I’m just a bit scared about intimacy.”

“I understand.”

There was a short silence.

“Sorry for ruining our date,” she said eventually. “Again.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. You didn’t do it on purpose. I think.”

“You think?”

“Well,” he smiled. “There is always the possibility you secretly want to show your breasts to me. I heard it’s a very common desire for girls who are near me.”

“I… that…” Her hands hid her chest again, even though it was still covered this time.

“Did I hit a little too close to home?” he teased her.

She felt wetness seep into her bottoms. “D-Did you see them back then?”

“Hardly,” Makoto said. 

“Hardly?” What was that supposed to mean?

“I may have caught a little glimpse, but that’s it. My mind does not work like a camera, Kotonoha. If you want me to picture you naked, I’ll have to see them again.”

For a moment, she really did consider it. There was no one here, she could just take off her top and show him. The idea excited her. But she knew she did not have the courage to do that.

“Would you settle for a kiss too?” she asked.

He smiled. “Maybe.”

They moved closer together. She could feel his warm breath.

Kotonoha closed her eyes and tilted her head sideways.

Their lips locked.

Now he at least got  _ something _ out of their date.

The kiss was much longer than their first one.

By the time his lips left hers, she was dripping wet. Luckily, he could not tell because she wore a swimsuit. At least, she hoped he couldn’t tell.

Makoto smiled faintly. She smiled back.

“So, want to go on that water slide again?” he asked.

“I thought you’d never ask.”


	8. Chapter 8

A gust of wind blew over the roof. Kotonoha grabbed the edges of her skirt.

“It’s getting colder outside,” she said.

“Yeah,” Makoto replied.

Her boyfriend closed the distance between them.

“Makoto-kun.” She looked up at him.

He leaned in. “Can I?” he asked.

“Sure.” She closed her eyes.

Makoto kissed her.

It had been a few weeks since their second date now. They ate lunch together on the roof every day now. Occasionally Sekai would join them as well, but she usually preferred to leave the ‘lovebirds’ alone.

After school they usually hung out together. It could be a movie, but it could also be something else. She had even been to his house a few times and met his mother (who had approved of her, luckily). So far, he hadn’t been to her house though. She was a bit reluctant to introduce him to her parents considering her dad didn’t really approve of her having a boyfriend so soon. 

Makoto deepened the kiss. His hands rested on her lower back. Kotonoha had wrapped her arms around his neck.

She tried very hard to ignore how aroused she got.

Her panties were already soaked before he had even started kissed her.

Kotonoha was certain those strange dreams were involved in that. Every night, she dreamt about doing all kinds of naughty things with him. She was unable to stop her hands from roaming all over her body when she had those dreams. But up until now, she had never been able to make herself climax. And the frustration was building inside of her. Every day, she feared it would spill over. Or she would lose control.

Suddenly, his hand reached up to touch her breast.

_ No _ . Instinctively, she pushed him away.

He looked hurt. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry. I have to go,” she said.

“Kotonoha.”

He wasn’t fast enough to stop her.

She ran down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, the bell rang. Just in time.

Kotonoha hurried to her class.

Her phone buzzed away. Probably Makoto sending her texts.

Even though she had dreamed about him touching her breasts countless times, to actually do it was pretty scary. And it had been so unexpected. He really should have asked first.

When school was over, she hurried outside and ran to the station. She took the first train home. An earlier train than she would usually take.

Kotonoha sighed. She really couldn’t face Makoto right now.

At home, she went straight to her room and started making homework. Her thoughts kept trying to drift off, but she forced them back every time.

She studied the rest of the night, only taking breaks to go to the bathroom and eat. 

When it was getting quite late, she put her books away. Kotonoha stripped down and got into bed. Since she dated Makoto, she had started sleeping in tank tops and panties instead of pyjamas. She told herself it was because it was warm at night, and not because it was more convenient, but she didn’t really believe that herself.

For now, she had been able to push away her concerns and doubts, but once she drifted off to sleep, they assaulted her immediately.

_ “It’s natural that a boy wants to touch your breasts.” _

_ Her reflection again. Red Kotonoha. A more sexy and confident version of herself. _

_ “But,” Kotonoha protested. “He… I was surprised.” _

_ “So you’re gonna hit him again?” _

_ “No, I don’t want to hurt Makoto-kun.” _

_ “You just did. Again. You pushed him away. Do you remember the look on his face?” _

_ “No, please-” _

_ “He did a perfectly natural thing. You’re the one overreacting. Don’t you want to make him happy?” _

_ “I do, but-” _

_ “But  _ what _?” _

_ “I…” _

_ “You’re a terrible girlfriend. You’re walking around seducing and teasing him, and if he makes a move, you push him away.” _

_ “I’m not seducing him,” she argued. _

_ “Walking around with a chest like that. All the girls are jealous of you.” _

_ “I never wanted this.” _

_ “Why do you think you got it? Does that huge chest serve any purpose?” _

_ “No, it’s only brought me harm. None of the other girls like me because of this.” _

_ “And whose fault is that? It makes you a very attractive girl. A girl Makoto-kun would like to date. If only you weren’t such a prude.” _

_ “But…” _

_ Her ghost did have a point there. Makoto would certainly enjoy touching her like that, so if anything, it had been the first time her chest could have ever done something good for anyone. If she hadn’t pushed him away that is. _

_ “Nice memory for his first time touching a girl,” Red Kotonoha said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. _

_ “Please stop.” _

_ “What did you feel when he touched it?” _

_ “Fear.” _

_ “And what else?” _

_ “I… I guess it may have felt…” When she touched it herself it felt good, but when he did it, the sensation was even more- _

_ “How could you possibly know how it felt?” her reflection mocked her. “You pushed him away before he could even touch it. Are you even sure he touched it at all?” _

_ “Yes, he-” _

_ “Oh really? Like that time he supposedly tried to kiss you? You were certain then as well, weren’t you?” _

_ “I-” _

_ “He probably never even touched it. In your paranoid state you just thought he did. You were looking for an excuse to push him away again.” _

_ “No, I would never do that.” _

_ “Oh you just love being a victim, don’t you? Do you enjoy it if he is concerned about you? If he has to watch his every move to make sure you aren’t hurt by his imagined actions?” _

_ “I-” _

_ “You’re a terrible girlfriend.” _

_ “No, please-” _

_ “Maybe he’ll break up with you…” _

_ “No, I…” _

Her eyes shot open.

She touched her face.

Was it sweat or tears? She wasn’t certain.

Kotonoha rolled on her side to check the clock.

It was the middle of the night.

Stupid nightmares.

She rolled back over and tried to get back to sleep.

Her nightmares continued to assault her. She woke up several more times until she finally gave up and got out of bed.

Kotonoha gathered her uniform and made for the bathroom.

The mirror left little to the imagination. She looked terrible. Her hair was a mess and there were black rims beneath her eyes. Even though she had slept for quite long, she still felt tired.

Kotonoha turned on the shower.

She stripped down. For the first time in weeks, her panties were wet because of her sweat and not something else.

She felt if the water was warm enough. It wasn’t, but she got under it anyway.

Her body complained about the lukewarm water but Kotonoha ignored it.

After some struggling, she gave up trying to get her hair presentable. She would just have to pull of the slightly messy look. 

At breakfast, she could hardly eat anything. Eventually, she gave up and went to school. Today, she took the bus.

Kotonoha sighed deeply.

She  _ really  _ had to talk to Makoto-kun.

Taking a decision, she took out her phone. She ignored his countless texts from before.

‘Can we meet on the roof at lunch?’

A reply came basically instantly. [Sure.] 

Not much happened in the morning. She only vaguely tried to focus on her classes. It was impossible to focus anyway.

Finally, the bell rang and she went up the roof.

He was already waiting for her there.

“Kotonoha,” he said. “I’m… are you okay?”

“I’m really sorry about yesterday.”

“Yeah, you did act weird. We were just making out and you pushed me away out of nowhere.”

“You…” she frowned. “You tried to touch my chest.”

He fell silent.

“Makoto-kun?”

He had a very strange look in his eyes.

“Look, I don’t know how to put this, but… maybe, we should take a break.”

“What? No, I…” Where was this coming from? Sure, she may have overreacted, but that was no reason to break up.

“I didn’t try to touch your chest, Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “My hands were on your lower back the entire time. I would have never done that without asking first. Given how sensitive you are to new things.”

“But, I’m certain you-”

“You mean I’m lying?” His eyes narrowed. He looked both hurt and angry.

“No, no, of course not, I-”

“You  _ what _ ?”

“I’m sorry. I-I must have imagined it.”

It wasn’t the first time she had done that. She had been totally convinced Makoto was trying to kiss her on their first date and on their second date, she had freaked out when he hugged her, but he had actually saved her from a very awkward wardrobe malfunction.

Maybe she had been fidgeting and her breast had brushed past his chest? That was certainly possible. Or she had mixed up dream and reality. It wasn’t that weird that her growing frustration drove her a bit loopy.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Makoto asked. “This is not normal, Kotonoha.”

“It won’t happen again,” she promised. “I just… I… my imagination is pretty vivid.”

“Okay,” he said, clearly unconvinced.

“Here,” she said. “Let’s do over that kiss.”

Without waiting for a reply, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, more passionately than usual.

She wrapped her arms around his neck.

After a few seconds, he caved in and put his hands on her lower back. He pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

They made out like that for a moment, but then, she felt one of his hands leave her.

_ No. No, no, no. Don’t do that. Not again. _

He reached up and roughly grabbed her left breast.

She broke off the kiss and pushed him off.

“What is wrong with you?” Makoto said, angry now.

“Y-You did it again.” Her voice was quivering.

“ _ Again _ ?” A dangerous undertone crept into his voice.

“You touched my chest again,” she said. Her hands reached up to shield it.

“You still don’t believe me, do you? You still believe your own delusions. I already told you, I did not touch your chest. Not then and not now.”

“You’re lying,” she insisted.

He sighed. “We should take a break. I can’t keep dating you like this.”

“No.”

“Oh, is that up to you now? I’m sorry, I was under the impression this was a normal relationship were I’m not getting forced to do anything. But apparently that’s not the case.”

“Sorry,” she said. “Can we just talk about it?”

“About what? Is there anything to talk about? If you don’t trust me, I can’t date you anymore.”

“I do trust you.”

“What is the definition of trust to you, Kotonoha?”

“What do you expect me to do? You want me to deny that something happened? This is real, Makoto-kun.”

“There is something wrong with your reality then. You need to get some help, Kotonoha. This is not normal.”

“So is pathologically lying to your girlfriend.” She was getting angry too now.

“When did I ever lie to you?”

“I’m certain you tried to kiss me during our first date. And you’re the one who’s constantly sending those dreams and making me faint. And back at the pool, my top came loose because of you.”

“Wow, I’ve been busy it seems,” Makoto said sarcastically. “Anything else? Maybe I also asked Otome to bully you.”

“You could have.”

“Sure, sure. It’s all a grand conspiracy. Are you aware of how ridiculous you sound?”

“I don’t have to take this.”

“Me neither.”

Makoto turned and walked away from her. The door slammed close behind him.

Kotonoha took a few deep breaths.

That had gotten out of hand. She already regretted what she had said.

_ No _ , she cut off the thought. She was clearly right. There were strange things going on and Makoto was involved in them, that much was obvious.

The bell rang.

Kotonoha went back to her class, still thinking about Makoto-kun.

Someone roughly pulled her out of that by jamming against her shoulder.

“Watch it, bitch,” Otome said.

Someone else pushed her aside. She hit the wall hard.

Minami.

Of course. Otome was always with her trio of friends.

“What’s wrong?” Otome said. “Gonna tell your boyfriend?”

Did they know what had happened?

Someone cleared his throat.

They turned. It was their math teacher.

“Class is gonna start,” he said. “You girls should get inside.”

He guided them inside. If he had seen Otome push her, he ignored it.

In class, she texted Makoto.

‘Did you tell Otome about our argument?’

[I bumped into her on my way downstairs. I didn’t tell her, but she’s not stupid.]

Hm. He could be lying, but it was technically possible. If Otome saw an angry Makoto coming from the roof and Kotonoha came down a few minutes later looking down, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together. But it was a pretty big coincidence he had just happened to bump into Otome at a time like that.

The day seemed to drag on much longer than usual. It felt like it was days before the final bell rang.

Kotonoha gathered her stuff.

“Hey, Katsura.”

“I have a meeting to go to,” she said. She tried standing up, but two hands forced her back down. Two of Otome’s trio of friends had sneaked up behind her.

She checked, but somehow, the teacher was already gone, as was everyone else. It really felt like there was a huge conspiracy against her.

“Did you break up with Itou-kun?” Otome asked.

“That’s none of your business.”

Otome slapped her in the face.

She felt a burning pain rising on her cheek.

“Now now,” Otome said. “That was a simple question, wasn’t it? Aren’t we friends?”

Kotonoha said nothing.

She was slapped again, harder, on her other cheek.

“Aren’t we friends?” Otome calmly repeated.

“Yes.” She said between gritted teeth.

“Well then, you can answer a simple question, can’t you? Did you break up with Itou-kun?”

Now that she asked it, it really wasn’t that clear. What had he really said? _ ‘We should take a break. I can’t keep dating you like this.’  _ That wasn’t really a formal breakup, was it? It was more like ‘I need some room to think.’ And considering both of them had been angry, they had probably said some stuff they didn’t really mean. She certainly had.

“Hey-”

“I don’t know,” she said, louder than she had really meant. Kotonoha felt her eyes twitch. She was gonna cry at this rate.

_ Not now _ , she forced her tears back.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“It means I don’t know,” Kotonoha snapped. “Why don’t you ask him instead? Or are you not really friends with  _ Makoto-kun _ ?”

She was hit a third time. This time, it wasn’t a slap. Otome had made a fist and punched her straight in the face, much harder than before. 

“Let’s go,” Otome announced.

They left her.

Kotonoha touched her nose. Blood dripped on her fingers.

She felt tears springing into her eyes.

Then, she heard something. Footsteps approaching her.

It had to be him. He had come to check on her.

She didn’t dare looking up though. What if it wasn’t him?

But then again, who else would care about her?

Kotonoha looked up. “Mako-”

“Are you okay?” Sekai asked at the same time. “Oh, sorry. Makoto is already going home. But I can call him. He-”

“No, it’s fine. We… we’re not on good terms right now.”

“Yeah, I heard. He was pretty down.”

“I have a meeting for-”

“Don’t be silly,” Sekai cut her off. “You can’t go to the meeting like this.”

“It’s nothing.”

“Uhum.” Sekai pointed to her chest.

Kotonoha looked down. “Oh.”

Some blood had dripped down on her blouse.

“Here.” Sekai handed her a tissue.

“Thanks.” Kotonoha held it against her nose. “But, the meeting.”

“Give me a sec.”

Sekai took out her phone and called someone.

“Hey, Setsuna. Can you do me a favor?”

[...]

“Can you tell them that Kotonoha feels sick and is going home?”

[...]

“Thanks, I owe you one.”

[...]

“Yes yes, I’ll treat you at Pure Burger next time. Thanks again.”

She put away her phone. 

“There we go,” she said to Kotonoha.

“Thanks,” Kotonoha said again.

“Come on, I’ll walk you home.”

“You don’t have to,” Kotonoha protested.

“But I will anyway. Go ahead and try to stop me.”

Kotonoha smiled faintly. “Alright then.”

She gathered her stuff. Her nose had stopped bleeding by now.

Kotonoha threw the tissue in the bin.

In silence, they put on their shoes.

“So uhm, what exactly happened between you and Makoto?” Sekai asked once they were outside.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Uhm, okay then.”

If only she knew herself what it had been all about. The rational part of her mind told her she was being silly. There was no way Makoto could manipulate her dreams like that. This was real life, not some fairytale. And yet, there were a few things that were just too weird to be a coincidence.

“Thanks for understanding,” Kotonoha said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Hey, I’m here for you,” Sekai said. She put her hand on Kotonoha’s shoulder.

Kotonoha smiled faintly.

They continued to walk. Soon after, they reached the train station.

The girls got on the first train. After a while, Kotonoha broke the silence.

“You know,” Kotonoha said. “It’s actually strange you still want to be friends with me.”

“How so?”

“Didn’t you ask me not to break his heart?”

“I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but I’m guessing both are at fault.”

“Y-Yeah.” Kotonoha suddenly felt very cold.

If she explained why they were arguing, Sekai would certainly side with Makoto. And Kotonoha couldn’t blame her for that. To any outsider, her version of the story was ridiculous. It was an absurd conspiracy theory that no one would ever believe. Yet, she had no choice but to believe it. The only other explanation was that she was being paranoid and there was nothing going on at all. Which meant that Makoto had not been touching her chest at all, but her own sexual frustration had caused her to…  _ hallucinate _ .

She shook of the thought. If she was hallucinating, how could she ever know for sure anything was real?

“This is your stop, right?”

“Huh?”

“Is this your stop?”

“Oh, yeah, it is.”

The train abruptly slowed down.

In a reflex, she reached out and embraced Sekai.

“Uhm, Kotonoha?”

“Sorry, I uhm… I lost my balance.” She released her again.

“Okay.”

She actually had lost her balance. Even though Makoto was not around at all.

“You okay?” Sekai asked. “You look confused.”

“I’m fine. We have to get out, before the doors close.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

They both got off the train.

Sekai kept her promise and walked her all the way home. Not that it was a long way from the station, but still.

They arrived after only a few minutes.

“You sure have a big house,” Sekai pointed out.

“Yeah, a bit,” Kotonoha replied. She unlocked the front door.

“So uhm, I’ll see you at school then?”

“Of course.”

“Come here.” Sekai pulled her in for a hug.

“You’re a good friend, Sekai,” Kotonoha said.

“Kotonoha?” A new voice called.

She released Sekai. “Oh, hey mom. Uhm, I’m home.”

“What happened to you?” her mom asked, looking at the blood. “And who is this?”

“Oh, uhm, well-”

“I’m Saionji Sekai,” Sekai introduced herself. “Just a classmate. Koto- uhum, Katsura-san had a little accident.”

“Accident?”

“It’s really nothing,” Kotonoha said. “I uhm… I tripped on the staircase.”

“The nurse said she was fine,” Sekai added. “But it would be best if someone went home with her, just in case.”

“Oh, I see,” her mom said. She turned to Kotonoha. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Well if you insist I can always lie in my bed and you can pamper me all night.”

Her mom smiled faintly. “Looks like you’re fine.”  She turned back to Sekai. “Well, thanks a lot for walking her home.” 

“No problem. But I have to go now, my mom will be concerned if I’m late.”

“Of course.”

“See you at school, Katsura-san.”

“Yeah, see you at school.”

Sekai waved and walked away.

Kotonoha closed the door. That had been pretty close. She really had no desire to explain to her mom what had happened.

“Dinner will be ready soon,” her mom said. “You should get cleaned up.”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha kicked off her shoes and went to the bathroom.

She wanted to take a bath, but she knew there was no time, so she would have to settle for a shower.

After her shower, she changed into yoga pants and a hoodie. She was just in time for dinner.

“Dad isn’t coming?” Kotonoha asked.

Her mother frowned. “He’s working late, as usual.”

“Oh.”

She already knew that of course. Dad worked late every night.

“You look a bit down,” her mom said.

“It’s nothing, really,” Kotonoha said. She tried to finish her dinner as quickly as possible.

“If you say so.”

“Hey Onee-chan,” Kokoro said. “Will you help me with math tonight?”

“Not tonight, Kokoro. I have other stuff to do.”

Kokoro pouted.

“Besides,” their mother said. “You should be able to do it on your own. If Kotonoha ‘helps’ you, you’re not learning anything. She’s just making the exercises for you.”

Kokoro leaned on both elbows. “Pff. No one needs math anyway.”

Their mom sighed. “Why can’t you be as diligent as your sister? She never had trouble with math.”

Kotonoha felt a blush raise to her cheeks.

“That’s cause Onee-chan is boring,” Kokoro said.

“What did you say?” Kotonoha warned her.

“I bet you don’t even have a boyfriend.”

“Yeah, speaking about that,” her mom jumped in. “Why haven’t we met him?”

“Can I go? I still have homework to do.”

Her mom eyed her half-eaten plate. “Hm.”

“I’m not hungry anymore,” Kotonoha said.

“Alright then. Off you go.”

Kokoro stood up as well. “I’m done too.”

“Nice try. Back down young lady,” her mom reprimanded her.

“But Onee-chan can leave?”

“Because your sister did not leave all her vegetables on her plate.”

“Ye, no fair,” Kokoro-chan complained.

Kotonoha left them to their argument.

She went to her room and laid down on her bed.

She was only gonna rest for a minute, nothing more. Just closing her eyes for a sec.

… 

Kotonoha opened her eyes.

There was a weird feeling in her stomach.

Cramps?

How strange.

She was covered in sweat for some reason even though she didn’t remember any nightmares.

A wave of nausea hit her.

Kotonoha jumped up and ran to the bathroom.

She was gonna vomit.

Oh fuck.

Kotonoha bend over the toilet. She hardly had one second left before it came up. Her half-digested food splashed in the toilet.

She took a few deep breaths and then vomited again, less this time.

The third time, she tried to vomit, but there was nothing left in her stomach, so she was just dry heaving.

Eventually, her stomach calmed down again.

Holy crap. Where did that suddenly come from?

Kotonoha flushed the toilet and brushed her teeth to get rid of the taste.

Was she sick? It did feel like she had a fever too, but to get sick so suddenly, that was-

Oh wait.

She walked back to her room and picked up her phone from the nightstand.

Her fingers navigated to the calendar.

Oh, of course. It was  _ that time _ .

Kotonoha went back to the bathroom to spit out the toothpaste.

Probably best to go to bed early tonight. 

She didn’t bother getting changed again. She just took off the hoodie and slept in her yoga pants and a shirt.

She got under the covers and closed her eyes.

Her dreams were already waiting for her.


	9. Chapter 9

“Kotonoha?” Someone shook her awake. “Kotonoha?”

Her eyes opened. “Mom?”

“You’ll be late for school,” her mom said.

“I-I don’t think I’m going today, mom.”

“What do you mean?” Disapproval snuck into her voice.

“I feel sick.”

“Hm.” Her mom felt her forehead. “It does look like you have a fever.”

“It’s just one day,” Kotonoha argued. “I’ll be better by Monday for sure.”

“Hm.” Her mom hesitated. “Fine. I’ll call school to say you’re sick. And I’ll bring up some breakfast.”

“Thanks mom. You’re the best.”

Her mother left again.

It hadn’t been a lie, technically. She did have some cramps and a headache. But she wasn’t so sick she couldn’t get out of bed. It was more that she didn’t want to face Makoto-kun right now. And avoiding him wouldn’t be easy at school. Now at least she had some respite until Monday.

Not long after, her mom returned with a tray with breakfast. Nothing special, just the cereal and yogurt she normally ate in the morning. Since she hadn’t eaten much last night, it made sense her mom insisted she at least had breakfast.

“I have to go to work now,” her mom said. “Will you be okay on your own?”

“I’ll manage,” Kotonoha said.

“Call me if something happens.”

“Okay.”

Her mom left again.

Kotonoha started eating.

At least she didn’t have to face Makoto or Sekai now. Well, that was what she thought.

Actually, this wasn’t so bad. She had some homework to catch up on. With Makoto-kun she had been too distracted to study much.

Kotonoha waited until she was certain her mom was off to work before she got out of bed. First a shower, and then she could start working.

After her shower she felt a lot more awake.

She changed into a simply tank top and yoga pants. She was planning to stay in bed to study anyway.

For a change, it went well. She wasn’t distracted much, not even by her minor headache and her cramps. The vomiting of last night seemed to have been a one-time thing.

Kotonoha was so concentrated she didn't even hear her mom come home. Only when the doorbell rang did she look up.

Hm. Who could that be?

Vague voices drifted up from the hallway. Then, someone came up. From the sound, she knew it was her mom.

Kotonoha put aside her books and got into bed. She put on her sick-face. 

The door opened.

Her mother came to sit on the edge of her bed.

Kotonoha ‘woke up’. 

“Mom? What time is it?”

“Oh Kotonoha, why didn’t you tell me?”

Her mom patted her head.

“Uhm, mom?”

“You really thought I would be angry?” She asked kindly.

“Tell you what?” Did her mom knew she was exaggerating her sickness a bit?

Kotonoha pushed herself upright, abandoning all pretense now.

“Now I understand why you wanted to stay home,” her mom continued as if she was talking to a little kid.

“Are you gonna tell me or what?” Kotonoha snapped.

That got her a frown. And finally, a reply. “Your girlfriend is here.”

“My  _ what _ ?”

“Your girlfriend.”

What the hell? Mom was clearly misunderstanding some things here. 

Wait. “Do you mean Sekai?”

“First name basis?” Her mom smiled. “Looks like it’s going well.”

“She’s not my girlfriend.”

“Well whatever she is, she’s here. I just wanted to see if you were awake. I’ll tell her to come up.”

“Hey wait, I’m-”

The door closed.

“Not dressed,” Kotonoha finished.

The footsteps were approaching her door. She only had time to get under the covers before Sekai entered.

“Hey,” Sekai said. “Bad timing?”

“How do you know where I live?” Kotonoha asked.

“A little bird told me.” Sekai closed the door.

“I thought Makoto-kun hated me?”

“Of course not.” She sat down at her feet. “You’re just having a little fight.”

Sekai opened her school bag. “I’m actually here to give you some notes. You missed class today.”

“But you’re not in my class.”

“Otome took them. But she was a bit reluctant to come here.”

“ _ Otome? _ ”

“It took some convincing from Makoto-kun though. You owe him one.”

Kotonoha sighed. “I know. I screwed up again, didn’t I?”

“Maybe a little,” Sekai said.

A silence fell.

Kotonoha hesitated. She didn’t really want to ask it, but she had to know for sure.

“Sekai?”

“Hm?”

“I was bleeding last night, right? I didn’t imagine that?”

She didn’t get a reply immediately. 

“Yes, your nose was bleeding,” Sekai said eventually. There was doubt in her voice. “And I don’t think you could have done that yourself unless you slammed your head against the table.”

“Okay.” That was still a possibility. Although it was rather low on her list.

“What’s wrong?” Sekai asked. The concern in her voice was obvious now.

“You’re gonna hate me if I tell you.” Kotonoha looked away.

“Hm. Is the argument with Makoto-kun your fault?”   
“I don’t know.”

“How can you not know that?”

“I…” Kotonoha sighed. “Alright, I’ll tell you.”

She explained everything that had happened (while staying vague about the exact content of her dreams, obviously).

Sekai said nothing when she was done. 

The silence lingered on until Kotonoha broke it eventually.

“Do you think I’m going crazy?”

“You have to admit your version of the story sounds a bit-”

“I know. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I wasn’t there so I can’t confirm anything. But you don’t actually believe he can control your dreams, right?”

“I… uhm…” she looked at Sekai. “Of course not.”

“You don’t sound so convinced.”

“I wish I could believe he has nothing to do with it, but I just can’t.” Mostly because that would imply she was going crazy.

“So you don’t trust him?” Sekai said.

“Of course I trust him,” Kotonoha snapped.

“Kotonoha,” Sekai said calmly. “That’s not what trust means. You’re jumping to conclusions based upon wild assumptions. Doesn’t trust mean that you believe he wants the best for you? That you don’t accuse him of anything without solid evidence?”

“I do believe he wants the best for me,” Kotonoha said.

Sekai frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Now that she had said it out loud, something occurred to Kotonoha.

This wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Even if Makoto had been the one who caused her top to get loose at the pool, what was so bad about that? No one had seen anything because he had responded fast enough. And hadn’t it felt really good to hug him like that? She secretly wanted to hug him like that, but there is no way she would admit that on her own. So if anything, he had given them a convenient excuse to do something they both wanted to do.

And weren’t those dreams helping a lot with her repressed sexuality? Makoto was patient, sure, but it wasn’t a bad thing to speed things up a bit. Without her dreams, they probably wouldn’t have kissed or even held hands at this point. And that would only lead to Kotonoha feeling guilty and Makoto feeling frustrated, which was bad for both of them.

Her losing balance on the train gave her a convenient excuse to rely on him. And she  _ wanted _ to rely on him. It felt good to be taken care of. To be free of having to make decision all the time.

So if anything, those strange coincidences were awfully convenient for  _ both  _ of them when you looked at it like that. 

So maybe whether she was doing it unconsciously herself or he was doing it wasn’t really that important. It was just that she had gotten scared that something or someone was trying to change her. But she had never questioned whether those changes were really that bad for her.

Hadn’t she gotten more confident lately? Otome’s bullying had gone down before she broke up with Makoto. And if she had been a bit smarter, she would have pretended they were still a couple. Otome had only dared to hit her because she knew for sure Kotonoha had problems with Makoto. If she had seeded some doubt, she could have probably gotten out of there safely.

“Kotonoha?”

“Hm? Oh sorry, I was just thinking.”

Sekai waited, but it became clear Kotonoha didn’t want to explain herself.

“Can I give you my opinion on all of this?” Sekai asked.

“Of course.”

“It sounds like you’re looking for conspiracy theories everywhere. I mean, if you had something substantial, okay, but you don’t. You just have a bunch of minor details.”

“So you’re saying I’m crazy?” She tried to control her voice.

“I’m saying you can’t deny that it  _ sounds _ like you’re looking for things to blame him for.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because, if you do, he gives you more attention. Don’t you like it if he’s protecting you? If he holds your hand?”

“I…” Kotonoha hesitated. Sekai was hitting a little too close to the conclusion she had just reached by herself. If she benefited from it, which she clearly did, then it wasn’t that big of a stretch to assume she was also the one  _ causing _ it. It was certainly a lot more realistic compared to her own theory, which relied on Makoto-kun doing things that were clearly impossible.

“See,” Sekai said. “It’s only natural, Kotonoha. You want him to pay attention to you and protect you, and obviously he will pay more attention if he’s concerned something will happen to you. But you can’t spin conspiracy theories around to get his attention.”

“You don’t know if that’s the case,” Kotonoha argued. “I’m perfectly fine on my own, I don’t need Makoto-kun.”

“Name three of your friends.”

“Huh?”

“Name three friends. Not a hard question, right?”

“Well, we’re friends, right?”

“Of course,” Sekai reassured her. “And let’s count Makoto-kun as well. But can you name anyone else?”

“I…”

No one else came to mind. Maybe Kokoro-chan, but stretching it to her own sister was a bit…

“Hey, don’t worry about it,” Sekai said. “At least you have two real friends who are there for you when you need them.”

“Makoto isn’t here.”

“He convinced Otome to share her notes. And actually he wanted to come here, but I told him it was probably better if you took some distance for now.”

“ _ You _ told him that?” What was Sekai thinking?

“You don’t agree?”

“I want to see Makoto-kun.”

“I can call him right now. I’m sure he’ll hop on the train right away.” Sekai took out her phone.

“Uhm…”

“Yes?”

“Never mind. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“I thought you wanted to see him?”

Kotonoha sighed. “I understand what you want to say. I’m quite lonely so it’s not that big of a stretch to think I would come up with these things.”

“Are you afraid he’ll break up with you?” Sekai asked.

“Of course I’m scared.”

She felt tears welling up.

“And you secretly hope that making him worry like that would prevent him from breaking up with you?” Sekai continued.

“I don’t know. I guess. But it backfired a bit, didn’t it?”

“You’re surprised he doesn’t want you to guilt trip him like that?”

“He probably hates me now.” She was unable to stop her tears anymore.

“Oh come on.”

Sekai pulled her in for a hug.

Kotonoha put her head on Sekai’s shoulder. 

“Just apologise to him,” Sekai said calmly, patting her back. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you.”

“If only it were that simple.”

“It’s hard to admit when you’re wrong indeed. But you can get over your pride, right?”

She didn’t reply.

It wasn’t her own pride she was concerned about. If Sekai was speaking the truth and she was unconsciously doing all this, then what would prevent her from doing it again? How could you stop something when you didn’t even realise you were doing it?

They released each other again.

“Now, wipe your tears away and put on some clothes,” Sekai said. “I’m gonna call Makoto-kun to come over.”

“What?” She hardly even registered the blanket had fallen down when they hugged.

“I’m gonna call him,” Sekai said.   
“You can’t.”

Sekai chuckled. “And you’re gonna stop me? Come on Kotonoha, you know you need to talk. And you don’t want to do it at school, right?”

“I was gonna talk to him eventually.”

“You mean after worrying for a week? What if he’s crying with Otome? Did that ever occur to you?”

Where did that suddenly come from? “He would never-”

“Aren’t they childhood friends?”

“That… Makoto is with me.” Sekai had a point. Otome had a crush on Makoto and she knew they had problems, so she would definitely see this as an opportunity.

“I thought you broke up?” Sekai asked.

“We didn’t break up,” she insisted.

“Are you sure of that?”

“I… I think so.”

“You think so? Well that’s reassuring.”

“Makoto wouldn’t start dating anyone else so soon.”

“Are you sure of that? What if she lets him touch her chest?”

“Sekai!”

“I’m just saying, why take the risk?”

“That…” Kotonoha fell silent. A very scary thought reached her.

“Sorry. I may have taken it a bit far.”

“Are you afraid I’ll change my mind again?” Kotonoha asked suddenly.

“Huh?”

“Nothing.” Her tone was very different now. “You just seem very keen on inviting Makoto-kun over. Just when I agreed it’s all my fault. A conclusion you helped me reach.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You wanted to talk to Makoto, right?”

“No,  _ you  _ wanted me to talk to him.”

Sekai frowned. “You mean you  _ don’t  _ want to talk to him?”

“I do. But you’re the one who suggested it.”

“Is that important?”

“Yes.”

A short silence fell.

“Uhm, okay? You’re acting really weird, Kotonoha.”

“I just think it’s strange how you take his side.”

“Side? He’s your boyfriend, isn’t he? How are ‘sides’ involved in this?”

“Even so, you’re taking his side in our argument.”

“I’d love to take your side, Kotonoha, but do you really expect me to believe Makoto is some magician who can send dreams to you and make you faint?” 

“That doesn’t mean he’s completely innocent.”

“Okay,” Sekai admitted. “ _ Maybe _ he could have pulled your top up at the pool somehow, but I seriously doubt it. These things happen, Kotonoha. They have happened to me in the past as well. Except I didn’t search for conspiracy theories behind it. If anything Makoto was trying to help you.”

“I’m just saying, he could have send you to convince me I’m the one making things up.”

“The fact that you even need convincing for that is deeply disturbing, Kotonoha.”

Kotonoha frowned. It was very strange Sekai did not even want to consider her side of the story. Sure, the whole dream thing was a bit of a stretch, but certainly there were other things that were possible. Yet Sekai rejected all of it very easily. Maybe a bit  _ too _ easily.

Could she really trust Sekai? After all, she was a friend of Makoto-kun.

“Sorry, you’re right,” Kotonoha lied. “It’s just… let me call him when I’m ready. He’s my boyfriend, I have to do this by myself.”

“Yes, but don’t you think you shouldn’t keep him worried for too long? Given how your argument went, he’ll obviously be concerned about you and he won’t know what to do. That’s why I wanted you to call him right now.”

“I’ll call him tonight,” Kotonoha said.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

“Okay then.”

Kotonoha let the silence linger until Sekai said what she had been hoping for.

“I’ll just go then.”

“Yeah. Thanks for checking up on me.”

“I just came to give you those notes.”

“Of course. See you at school, Sekai.”   
They hugged shortly and then Sekai put on her bag and left.

Kotonoha breathed out when the door closed.

That was close.

In retrospect, she had been a bit naive. Sekai had just happened to show up yesterday just when Kotonoha needed it. That couldn’t be a coincidence. Sure, it was possible that she was worried and wanted to check up on her, but she had been Makoto’s friend for much longer, so why wasn’t she with him instead? Unless he had asked her to check up on Kotonoha. Sekai seemed awfully keen on convincing her she was just being paranoid and Makoto was the victim here. Not everything she said was impossible.

“I’m not crazy,” she said, out loud.

She sighed.

Could she even believe that herself?

If only she had some way to prove it. To prove that there really was something going on. No one else could confirm her side of the story.

Did she even trust anyone at this point? They could just confirm it to gain her trust. Similar to how Sekai had clearly been trying to gain her trust while subtly convincing her she was crazy and Makoto was completely innocent.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. That left only one option then.

But first she would need to reassure him a bit. And she had promised after all.

Kotonoha pulled out her phone and called him. He picked up very fast.

[Kotonoha?]

“Hey, Makoto-kun.”

[Are you okay? Look, I’m really sorry for what I said. I didn’t meant to sound that harsh.]

“You’re sorry for what you said or how you said it?”

He was silent for a second. [I wasn’t lying. I have absolutely nothing to do with all of those things. Half of them aren’t even physically possible. But I am sorry for  _ how _ I said that. I should have been more understanding of your trust issues.]

“Trust issues.”

[That’s what it appears to be from my perspective. If it feels different for you I’m happy to talk about that. But you can’t expect me to understand how you feel if you don’t tell me. And I can’t pretend like I believe in supernatural explanations. Especially ones that involve me somehow trying to manipulate you when I’m actually trying to help you.]

“Okay.”

[What do you want to do now?]

“Can you give me some time? I just… I need to think.”

[Sure. No problem. I understand.]

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to… it’s fine if you start dating other people. I’m asking too much of you.” He didn’t have to wait for her.

[I’m not planning to date anyone else.]

“Not even Otome?”

[We used to be friends. Not anymore. It’s not my fault that she doesn’t understand that.]

“But you don’t mind abusing that, do you?”

[I’m deeply sorry that I got you notes because you missed school today,] he said on his sarcastic tone. [I’m sure Katou is deeply hurt by that. I copied some notes she made anyway, you’d really call that abuse?]

“You…”

Kotonoha picked up the notes Sekai had handed her. She hadn’t looked at them properly before.

Oh.

She had been wrong. When Sekai said it, it had sounded like Otome had done a lot of work, but actually, these were simply scans of handwritten notes that had been printed out. So Makoto had just borrowed her notes for a moment and scanned them in. 

“Uhum, anyway. My point was that I don’t mind if you want to date someone else.”

[Your point has been noted.]

“Okay. I’ll see you at school then.”

[See you at school.]

She quickly hung up.

Actually, she would see him sooner than that, but Makoto didn’t know that.

Sekai was right. Kotonoha could claim whatever she wanted, it was meaningless without proper evidence. And she couldn’t prove anything. Not yet at least.


	10. Chapter 10

_ “D-Did you see them back then?” she heard herself say. _

_ “Hardly,” Makoto replied.  _

_ Kotonoha looked around. She was back at the pool. On the sunbeds where she had talked with Makoto-kun. _

_ Was she dreaming again? _

_ “H-Hardly?” she asked. _

_ How would this play out? _

_ “I may have caught a little glimpse, but that’s it. My mind does not work like a camera, Kotonoha. If you want me to picture you naked, I’ll have to see them again.” _

_ “Would you settle for a kiss too?” she asked. _

_ “No.” He didn’t smile this time. _

_ She blinked a few times. That was very different from the real memory. _

_ “Makoto-kun?” _

_ “I won’t settle for a kiss. Am I your playdate? How old are you,  _ twelve _?” _

_ “I… you…” Kotonoha was lost. This development was completely unexpected.  _

_ He took her chin and forced her to look up at him. His eyes were a different color from usual. Cold grey instead of the usual warm ochre. _

_ “Apologise,” he ordered calmly. _

_ “I…” _

_ She wanted to wake up, but there was nothing she could do. She knew this was a dream and she was safe in bed, but for some reason, she was still scared. _

_ “Don’t make me repeat myself, Kotonoha,” he warned her. _

_ She felt the cold sweat on her back. _

_ What if she stayed in this dream forever? _

_ “I-I’m sorry,” she said. _

_ “For what?” he asked calmly. _

_ “For being a bad girlfriend?” _

_ “Is that hesitation I hear in your voice?” _

_ “O-Of course not,” she said. “I’m sorry for being such a terrible girlfriend.” _

_ “Well fix it then.” He released her. _

_ “I… yes, Makoto-kun.” She reached back and undid the clasp of her top. It slid down over her shoulders. “Is this okay?” she asked. It was difficult to resist the  urge to cover up her chest. _

_ “That’s better,” he said. “See, now you’re acting like a real girlfriend should.” _

_ “Y-Yes.” _

_ “Now show me how you play with them.” _

_ “M-Makoto-kun?” She had heard that wrongly, right? _

_ “You think I don’t know what you’re doing every morning? _

_ “I…” _

_ “You’re gonna show me, right now.” _

_ “Y-Yes, Makoto-kun.” _

_ She touched her own chest. _

_ Kotonoha vaguely felt her real body doing the same thing. If she focused, she could even feel the fabric of her tank top. _

_ “Do it properly,” he said. _

_ “Yes, sorry I’m so clumsy, Makoto-kun.” She mashed them harder and rubbed hard over her nipples, as she usually did when she played by herself. _

_ “Down there too,” Makoto commanded. “Get yourself off for me.” _

_ She moved one hand down. Kotonoha was surprised to find out she was already soaked (both in her dream and in real life). Even though this was humiliating and wrong, she could not stop her own body from getting all worked up. _

_ “Harder,” he said. _

_ “Yes.” She moved her fingers more roughly. _

_ “See,” Makoto said. “You’re just a horny little bitch.” _

_ She didn’t reply. _

_ “Aren’t you?” _

_ “Yes. I’m… oh fuck, I’m gonna-” _

A loud noise woke her up.

“For fuck’s sake.” She cursed. “Not now.”

Kotonoha blindly reached out and after several attempts managed to shut up her alarm.

Even on a Saturday.

It had slipped through her fingers now. Quite literally. She had been so close she could almost taste it.

Maybe…

Kotonoha slowly moved her hand back beneath her panties.

Maybe she could pick up where she left off before?

Come on dream, come back.

She only managed to summon a vague image though.

“Makoto-kun,” she spoke softly. “Is this okay?”

Her fingers made obscene noises as she got worked up again.

Luckily she was already on the third day of her period, so there was little risk for embarrassing accidents. If she had done this on the first day it might not have ended well.

Stupid clothes.

She roughly pulled her top over her head. Then, she slid her panties down and kicked them off.

That was better. Now she could touch more freely.

“Do you like them, Makoto-kun?” she pulled on her own nipples. “You do, don’t you? All boys like big breasts.”

She sped up.

“You want to see me finish, Makoto-kun? I really want to show you.”

Her alarm went off again.

With a sigh, she stopped.

Of course. She hadn’t turned it off, she had snoozed it.

Why was this stupid alarm going off anyway? This was a Saturday.

Kotonoha opened her phone to turn it off properly. It displayed a message.

_ Evidence _

Oh, right.  _ That _ was why she had put her alarm today.

Wait, what was she doing? This was so wrong. 

She was hurting Makoto-kun and here she was, getting off on something that would clearly not happen because of her.

Sudden guilt overcame her.

“Bad girl.” She slapped herself between her legs.

A jolt of pain ran through her.

Tears sprang into her eyes.

She bit her lip, resisted the urge to curse.

Bad mistake. She really shouldn’t have done it so hard.

_ No _ . She should. Fantasizing about Makoto-kun while she was constantly hurting in real life him was all wrong. She might be unable to stop herself from  _ dreaming  _ about him, but at the very least she shouldn’t touch herself during it. She shouldn’t be enjoying her dreams like that when she was also the cause Makoto-kun did not enjoy real life.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. Just one more time. If she didn’t do this, it would just happen again and again. ‘Feeling guilty’ clearly wasn’t enough to stop her. Hell it wouldn’t stop her from doing what she was planning today.

She brought her hand down again. Less hard this time, but it still hurt like hell.

_ That’s enough _ , she lied to herself.  _ It won’t happen again. _

Besides, she had other things to do today.

Kotonoha sighed. She  _ could _ just stay home. She really didn’t have to do this. After all, she knew very well how wrong it was.

Yet…

She just  _ had _ to know. It was only to confirm her own suspicions.

It was a stupid excuse and she knew it, yet she couldn’t stop herself from getting out of bed.

Kotonoha got dressed. When she was done, she studied her reflection in the mirror. She had put her hair up and put on a black baseball cap. Sunglasses hid her eyes. No one would be able to recognise her like this.

No, no. If anything she would be drawing more attention like this.

She got changed again.

Yeah, this was better. More subtle.

Now, she wore a short black skirt, thigh-high socks, a black shirt and a grey hoodie. If she did spot someone that could recognise her, she could simply pull up the hood.

Kotonoha took the backpack she had prepared yesterday and went downstairs. Everyone else was still asleep.

She tried eating some breakfast, but there was a knot in her stomach that wouldn’t go away.

Eventually she gave up and went outside.

Kotonoha walked to the train station and got on the first train.

Her eyes darted around nervously.

She studied everyone a few times, but there was no one she recognised.

Kotonoha breathed out.

_ Calm down _ , she told herself. There was no reason to freak out. Taking the train on a Saturday was not illegal. Even if someone spotted her, she could probably come up with some explanation.

The train stopped. Kotonoha grabbed the bar to keep her balance.

The doors opened.

Oh no.

Kotonoha quickly turned and put on her hood.

What the hell was Kiyoura doing here?

In the reflection of the window, she could see Kiyoura sit down.

Kotonoha made sure to stay with her back turned to Kiyoura for the rest of the journey. Luckily, the girl did not move from her spot.

Eventually, the train reached her stop and Kotonoha got off.

Her heart was beating way too hard in her chest.

_ Stop it _ , she reprimanded herself. Kiyoura had not seen her on the train. And even if she had, why would she tell Makoto about it? For all Kiyoura knew, they were still a normal couple.

Still, she kept on her hood as she walked.

She reached the apartment block, but she didn’t go in. Instead, she went into the block opposite of it.

In the hallway, she pressed on several buttons. Several voices sounded through the speakers and then the door buzzed. Kotonoha pushed it open.

Many people just opened the door when the bell rang without asking who it was. It was a simple matter of pressing enough buttons and being a bit lucky.

She took the elevator up to the roof.

Luckily, the roof hadn’t been locked up.

It was pretty windy up here though.

Kotonoha lowered her hood.

Here we go.

She sat down at a safe distance from the edge and opened her bag.

Luckily dad hadn’t used his telescope in years. He wouldn’t even notice she had taken it.

Kotonoha positioned the telescope and searched until she found the right window. Then, she put the camera next to it and positioned it on the same window. She had to search a bit to find the right zoom, but eventually, she had a decent image.

She looked through the telescope.

There he was. He was playing video games.

Kotonoha sighed.

What else did she expect she would see?

This was a terrible idea. She really shouldn’t be doing this.

She almost laughed at her own silliness. Look at this. She was ‘gathering evidence’.

Obviously, she couldn’t prove anything like this. 

Wait, he was getting up. 

Through the telescope, she saw how he walked out of sight. Shortly after, he returned with someone.

Sekai?

What the hell was she doing there?

Could she be…

She was right? Yeah, it was clear. Makoto and Sekai must be having some kind of secret relationship. Well, either that, or she was just visiting as a friend and…

Holy crap.

They were kissing. Not like a friend might do, no, Sekai had jumped into his arms and kissed him full on the mouth.

Kotonoha looked in horror as the pair made out. It wasn’t long before Makoto-kun was touching her breasts over her clothes and she was rubbing him over his pants.

She didn’t know what she had expected to see, but certainly not this.

Sekai pushed him down on the couch. She sat down on his lap facing him.

Kotonoha could hardly believe her eyes. She kept staring, her mouth slightly open.

Next, Sekai started unbuttoning her blouse. Her blue-white striped bra was revealed.

Kotonoha’s anger and horror started making way for something else.

Sekai reached back and unclasped it. It slid over her shoulders.

When her breasts were revealed, Makoto-kun wasted no time in sucking on them. Sekai threw her head back, clearly enjoying herself.

Fuck.

Under normal circumstances, she would have probably stopped watching by now and gone home, but her eyes stayed glued to the scene for some reason.

She had not finished this morning, nor any other day since she had met Makoto-kun. And before she had never done anything like that.

It was silly to think she was capable of stopping years of sexual frustration.

Makoto moved his head back up so they could kiss again.

Then, Sekai pushed him down on the couch. She sank down on her knees before.

From this angle, Kotonoha couldn’t tell what she was doing. Makoto threw his head back, so whatever it was, he was enjoying it. And Kotonoha had some ideas about what Sekai could be doing down there.

She kept staring in fascination. Slowly, her hand reached down beneath her skirt. Her panties were soaking wet, obviously. So wet it had already started leaking out around them. Her own fluids were running down her thighs, almost reaching her high socks. 

She slowly rubbed herself over her panties.

This was all wrong. Makoto was cheating on her in plain sight.

Yet…

_ She hadn’t really taken care of his needs, had she? _ Kotonoha rationalised. Where they even boyfriend and girlfriend? After all, they had only gone on a few dates and kissed a bit. Could you call that a formal couple? And they were on a break now. She had specifically said to him she needed time to think, but he didn’t have to wait for her.

Yeah. She latched onto that.

‘I don’t mind if you want to date someone else.’

She had spoken those exact words, so right now, she had zero reason to be angry at him. Makoto wasn’t doing anything wrong. She had told him he could do this.

Sekai came back up. Her hair was messy and some spit was dribbling down her chin.

Kotonoha watched as Sekai lowered her panties. Then, she bunched up her skirt and sat down on his lap. They were actually doing it.

Kotonoha was unable to stop herself now. Following Sekai’s example, she got up and roughly pulled down her panties to her knees. Then, she sat down again and pulled them to her ankles and then off. When they were off, she shifted back to her previous cross-legged position and looked back at them through the telescope. Luckily, they were still going at it in the same position.

Kotonoha could touch herself directly now, which she did immediately.

Oh fuck. That felt much better.

They were clearly enjoying themselves.

“Does it feel good, Makoto-kun?”

Strangely, she wasn’t even imagining it was her instead of Sekai. She just enjoyed watching them. It was so hot to see how much they enjoyed themselves. 

At this point, she was so frustrated she would settle for any kind of stimulation. Just watching them was enough, there was no need to fantasize.

Kotonoha pushed in her middle finger. She was pretty tight.

How would it feel to have real sex? She was really curious about it.

Kotonoha obviously knew her own finger could not compare to it, but she didn’t really want to get any closer to it than this. A first time was something you shared with someone you loved. So if she already knew how it felt to have something inside of her, wouldn’t that kinda diminish the experience?

She rubbed her thumb over her clit. She was much closer than she had ever been before.

Luckily, they stayed in their position so she had a nice view of Sekai bouncing up and down. Her breasts were actually bigger than Kotonoha had assumed before. Or maybe it was just because they were free from their confines now.

Kotonoha bit her lip.

Makoto was lasting quite long. Either the tales of boys finishing in seconds were drastically overrated or Makoto was an exception. Probably that. Makoto-kun was special, she already knew that.

This wasn’t enough though.

She zipped open her hoodie with her free hand. Reaching below, she unsnapped her bra.

Kotonoha shifted her bra upwards and reached beneath her shirt to touch them.

There was no time to take it all of now. And she had to stay in this position to keep watching them.

Kotonoha twisted her nipples hard while her other hand kept working her clit.

Oh fuck. She was really close now. Even closer than this morning. Closer than she had ever been before. Something was already building in her stomach. Only a bit more and… 

Suddenly, Sekai slowed down. She flashed a satisfied smile.

No. Not now.

Kotonoha cursed loudly.

They were done. Sekai got off him. It looked like Makoto-kun had finished inside of her. 

This was quickly confirmed. Sekai reached down with her hand and then brought it up. A sticky white fluid was on her fingers, which she licked off while staring at Makoto-kun with a deviant smile.

Despite how insanely hot that was, it wasn’t enough to push Kotonoha over the edge.

Sekai repeated it two more times, licking her lips with a satisfied smirk. Then, she got dressed again. When she turned, Makoto gave her a playful smack on her butt.

Stupid…

Kotonoha grumbled.

Just a few seconds longer and she would have climaxed too.

Sekai was fully dressed now. She sat down on the couch.

Kotonoha retracted her hand.

Makoto stood up and did something. The tv turned on.

Wait, what?

He handed Sekai a controller and sat down next to her on the couch.

What the hell? Where they just gonna play video games now?

Somehow, this angered her more than Makoto ‘cheating’ on her.

Cause actually, yes, he was cheating. Maybe she had given him permission to date other girls during their break, but that was yesterday. There was no fucking way this was Sekai’s first time. This must have been going on for much longer.

She put her panties back on. All her arousal had been replaced by frustration and anger.

She reached back to fix her bra.

Makoto had been cheating on her since the very beginning. She had been right all along, there was a lot more going-

She was interrupted by a sudden noise.

What the hell?

She stopped trying to close her bra and pulled her phone out of her bag. Without looking at the caller, she picked up.

“Yeah?” she asked, still angry.

[Kotonoha? Hey, I just wanted to check in with you.]

“S-S… Sekai?” She was certain her heart had skipped several beats just now. All the anger was replaced by pure fear.

[Yeah obviously? Who else would be calling you?]

“I…”

[Ah, sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.]

Kotonoha looked back through the telescope.

A shiver went through her body.

Makoto was alone again. He was sitting on the couch, playing the same video game. There was no split screen, he was all alone.

How… 

“It’s okay,” she said. Her voice sounded extremely weird. “Say, where are you now?”

[At home of course. Where else would I be?]

“I don’t know, somewhere else.”

Maybe Sekai had moved out of her sight. But… 

[Well I’m home. Setsuna is here.]

Setsuna?

What was going on here? Clearly Sekai was lying. She was with Makoto playing games right now. Well, she had been. And Kiyoura was nowhere to be seen.

“Could you give her on for a sec?”

[Sure, why?]

“I need to ask her something for the school festival,” Kotonoha lied.

She was amazed at her ability to think clearly in this situation. On the inside, her heart was beating wildly, but she kept her voice under control.

[Hold on a sec.]

She checked again through the telescope. Sekai wasn’t there. Makoto was still playing video games by himself. And he was actually playing since his character was blown up at this point and she saw him yelling at the screen.

[Hello?] It was unmistakingly the voice of Kiyoura. [What did you want to ask?]

“Uhm, the uhm… the meeting. Yesterday there was a meeting, right?”

[Oh, right, you were sick. I’ll mail you my notes, don’t worry about it.]

“Thanks. That would be a great help.”

[I’ll give you Sekai back.]

This was impossible. Sekai was clearly not calling her right now.

Unless Sekai had walked out of her sight and called her. But then shouldn’t she hear Makoto and the game on the background?

And what about Kiyoura? Was she using a second cellphone to call her at the same time? Or had Kiyoura sneaked inside while Kotonoha had been busy watching them.

Wait, no. She had actually seen Kiyoura this morning. She was on the train to Sekai’s house. And she had not gotten off with her, of that Kotonoha was certain because she had been worried that would happen for a moment.

[Anyway, I called to check if you were alright,] Sekai said.

“No.”

This was just too much. She could not plausibly believe that both Sekai and Kiyoura were involved in a grand conspiracy. Even if they were both involved, they couldn’t possibly know where Kotonoha was right now or when to call her. Let alone they could set this all up for her.

No, the answer was pretty clear: she was imagining things.

[What’s wrong? Where are you actually? I hear something weird on the background. Is that the wind?]

Kotonoha looked again through the telescope.

Sekai was nowhere to be seen. Actually, she had probably never been there in the first place.

[Kotonoha?]

“Sorry, I… I’ll call you back.”

[Koto-]

She hung up.

She was imagining things. That was the only explanation that made any sense. In her sexual frustration, she had simply imagined Sekai had come in to have sex with Makoto. And that was why they had stopped at the exact moment she would have finished herself. Her own guilt was blocking her from finishing.

And that was also why she had conveniently confirmed her own suspicions.

Wasn’t it just a bit too good she had watched Makoto for one morning and immediately found the perfect evidence? He hadn’t even closed the curtains or gone to his bedroom.

There was absolutely no way  _ anyone _ could have predicted she would do this, let alone they could set this all up. Nor would it serve them any purpose if they did. 

Her eye fell onto the camera.

Hold on a sec.

She picked it up.

Kotonoha stopped the recording and played it back from the start. She fast forwarded a bit, but the image didn’t change much. Makoto stayed in his seat, playing video games the entire time. Sekai never arrived.

Obviously. Nothing had happened at all. She had simply imagined all of it.

Her hand went back down to her panties, but for a different purpose this time.

She had done it again, hadn’t she? While she was sitting here fantasizing about Makoto-kun, she was hurting him in reality.

A normal girlfriend did not spy on her boyfriend from a rooftop. A normal girlfriend did not imagine him cheating on her. A real girlfriend… 

Kotonoha took a deep breath. Two probably wouldn’t suffice this time.


	11. Chapter 11

Kotonoha grabbed the bar of the train. Her balance was already bad on a good day, so she was not about to take any chances.

Her legs were shaking slightly, but she did her best to keep it under control. It wouldn’t be long before she got home and then she could rest for a bit.

It would probably have been smarter to first go home before she did that. But then again, it wasn’t supposed to be convenient for her.

The train ride seemed to drag on much longer than usual.

She almost missed her stop because she was lost in thoughts, but she managed to get out before the doors closed.

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

Now she only had to make it home.

She idly wondered whether this was all real.

The scene with Makoto and Sekai had looked incredibly real. So real she couldn’t tell the difference at all. But it was pretty obvious it hadn’t been real. So how could she know anything she saw was real at all?

Kotonoha reached her home.

There was someone sitting on her front porch.

Was this real? Or did she see what she wanted to see?

“Sekai?”

The girl looked at her and jumped up.

“What are you doing here?” Kotonoha asked.

She was pulled into a sudden hug. “You really made me worry.”

“I…”

Kotonoha put her head on Sekai’s shoulder.

Yeah, this was real. She could feel it.

Wait. She had imagined touch before. She had been utterly convinced Makoto had been touching her chest, but that hadn’t happened of course. So how could she be sure this hug was real? After all, she really wanted a hug, so…

No wait, she  _ could _ know for sure. This wasn’t what she wanted. Yes, she really wanted a hug, but under perfect circumstances, it would be Makoto who would hug her. So this couldn’t be wish fulfilment. It wasn’t perfect enough for that.

“Are you okay?” Sekai asked, still hugging her.

“I’m fine.” At least, now she was.

“So you regularly hang up on your friends when they call to check if you’re okay?” Sekai asked. There was no anger in her voice. Not even annoyance, just concern.

“I… I was in the middle of something. I’m sorry.”

Sekai released her. “Yeah, it does look that way.” 

She looked at Kotonoha’s bag but didn’t ask anything.

Kotonoha didn’t say anything either.

“You want to talk about it?” Sekai asked.

Kotonoha nodded. “Let’s get inside.”

She unlocked the door.

They both took of their shoes in the hallway.

“Did something happen?” Sekai asked.

“How so?”

“The way you walk, it’s… are you in pain?”

“It’s nothing,” Kotonoha lied.

She opened the door to the kitchen and found no one was home.

“I’ll make you some tea,” Kotonoha said.

She opened the cabinet and took out the tea. However, her hands were shaking and it slipped through her fingers. The bag dropped on the floor.

Kotonoha bend over, but Sekai was faster.

“Shall I do it?” Sekai asked. She straightened again.

“No,” Kotonoha said. “You’re the guest, you should-”

“At this rate you’re gonna break things,” Sekai said. “Rely on others for a change.”

Kotonoha sighed. “Fine.”

“Good,” Sekai smiled. “Can I rely on you to tell me where you keep everything?”

“Over there.” She pointed to the right doors so Sekai could take out everything they needed.

When they were done, Kotonoha sat down on the couch with her tea.

A stab of pain went through her. She shifted her legs, but no matter how she moved, the dull pain stayed. She had really overdone it.

No. This was supposed to hurt. It wouldn’t be a punishment if it didn’t hurt.

Sekai sat next to her.

They both drank their tea for a quiet moment.

“I’m really sorry,” Kotonoha said.

“Hey, everyone can-”

“No, no, not about that. No, wait, also about that, I…”

“Don’t forget to breathe,” Sekai said.

Kotonoha smiled faintly. She sipped her tea again. “What I wanted to say is: sorry for last time. We were talking and I accused you of some grand conspiracy. Do you remember?”

“I remember.”

Yeah, of course she did.

“I-I have some trust issues.” She put down her tea on the coffee table. “I know that’s not a good reason, but…”

“Well you can’t do anything more than apologise, can you?”

“I can think of plenty more things I could do to make it up.”

“Well I’m satisfied with a simple apology. Save those things for Makoto-kun.”

She sighed. “Yeah, I have to apologise to him too.”

“A bit more I think. You really hurt him.”

“A simple sorry won’t cut it indeed,” Kotonoha said. “He probably hates me now.”

“Well you won’t know unless you talk to him.”

“I don’t want to bother him.”

“He’s probably just playing video games now.”

Kotonoha opened her mouth and then closed it again.

How…

“Kotonoha?”

“How do you know that?” Kotonoha’s tone shifted.

“Know what?”

“That’s he’s playing video games right now.”

“I don’t. I said  _ probably _ . Wait, where did you say you went today?”

“Nowhere,” Kotonoha evaded.

This was rather strange.

No, wait. She was doing it again. Sekai was friends with Makoto-kun, of course she knew his hobbies. And gaming was a normal thing to come to mind. 

“Hm.” Sekai pondered it for a sec. “Anyway, you need to talk to him.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“What else were you gonna do?”

“I’ve been thinking,” Kotonoha said. “Maybe it’s better if he dates someone else. I… I’m not a good girlfriend.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“But it’s true, isn’t it? Look at all the things I’ve accused him off with zero evidence. And…” she sighed. “I know he wants to… you know… he wants a physical relationship too.”

“And you don’t want that?”

“I do. I really do. I-... uhum, obviously such things are part of a normal relationship.” She took another sip of tea.

“Then what’s the problem?”

“I always freak out when anything like that happens.”

“Oh. And there is nothing you can do about that?”

“What would I…”

Wait a minute.

An idea formed in her mind.

“Maybe there is something,” Kotonoha said. “I’ll have to test it out.”

“Okay.”

“Thanks, Sekai.”

“I didn’t say anything.” Sekai put her tea down.

“No, I mean, for being here for me. I don’t know what I would do without you and Makoto-kun.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for.”

They hugged again.

“I’ll talk to Makoto-kun, don’t worry,” Kotonoha said.

“Actually,” Sekai said. “I have a little confession to make.”

She released her. “Sekai?”

Sekai checked her phone. “He should be here in about ten minutes.”

“ _ He _ ?” A cold feeling crept up her spine.

“I called Makoto-kun before. I think it’s about time you stop running away from your problems.”

“But-”

“No buts. If it doesn’t work out, so be it, but at the very least you can stop worrying. If I let you be, you’ll never talk to him.”

“Yeah, you may be right. Thanks.”

Kotonoha got up.

“Where are you going?”

“You said he’d be here in ten minutes. You really should have given me more time to prepare.”

“Oh, sorry.”

Kotonoha rushed to the bathroom.

She quickly brushed her teeth and straightened her hair.

She wanted to take a shower and do her makeup, and maybe change clothes as well, but there was not nearly enough time for that. Straightening her hair alone already took way too much time.

The bell rang.

She quickly went downstairs again. 

Sekai was already waiting for her in the hallway.

Kotonoha took a deep breath and opened the door.

She came face to face with Makoto-kun.

A strange urge bubbled up inside of her.

“Uhm, hey,” Makoto said. “Uhm, Sekai-”

Kotonoha embraced him.

“Woah.”

Without thinking, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

He was surprised at first, but eventually settled into the kiss.

They kissed for what seemed to be forever, but eventually, he gently pushed her away.

“I’ll just leave you two lovebirds alone then,” Sekai said. “Looks like this will end alright.”

“Ah, Sekai.” She had completely forgotten Sekai was still here.

“Have fun.” Sekai winked.

Kotonoha blushed.

“So uhm…” Makoto said.

“Sorry. Uhum, would you like to come in, Makoto-kun?”

“A bit the wrong order, but sure.”

They went inside.

Makoto took off his shoes and they went into the living room.

She sat down and he went to sit next to her, so close she could feel the heat radiate from his body.

“You’ve been very patient with me,” Kotonoha said.

“Yeah,” he said. “But it’s really no big deal.”

“No, no. Please, don’t pretend. You don’t have to spare my feelings or anything. I’d prefer it if you told me the truth.”

“Okay, it was pretty annoying. But I understand it’s not easy for you either.”

“I missed you,” Kotonoha said.

Makoto sighed. “What do you want to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I missed you too, but… why did you accuse me of those crazy things in the first place?”

“I… I guess I was scared you’d leave me.”

“So, aren’t you doing the same thing right now by admitting you were wrong?”

“You mean I’m guilt tripping you into forgiving me and getting back together?” She kept her voice calm.

“I wasn’t gonna put it like that, but… yeah. What else am I supposed to do? If I stay mad at you, I look like a terrible boyfriend. You didn’t do this consciously after all, so can you really be blamed?”

“I understand.”

“No, you don’t. From your tone it looks like you already assumed everything was alright again.”

“Well you… you kissed me back.”

“Are you sure? Did I have a choice?”

“Well…” she struggled to find the right words.

“And can I point out you haven’t apologised for anything yet? All you said is ‘you’ve been patient’. You didn’t even take anything you said back. Do you regret accusing me of all those things? Or do you regret it caused this distance between us? A distance you now pretend doesn’t exist anymore.”

“I…” she tried saying something, anything, but nothing came out.

“You’re imposing quite double standards, aren’t you? You can jump into my arms and kiss me, but even after weeks I still had to ask to kiss you or you freak out completely.”

He was right.

Kotonoha looked down. She felt tears sting in her eyes.

“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“No, you’re right. I asked you to be honest with me, and I’m glad you are.”

“Come here.”

“No, you shouldn’t-”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

He embraced her.

She slowly put her head on his chest. Her tears were dripping on his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Yes, you told me to be honest,” Makoto-kun said. “But I didn’t have to say it like that. It’s my fault you’re crying.”

“I’m the one who got us into this situation in the first place,” Kotonoha said.

“You’re seeing it wrong. It’s not you vs me. It’s us against this problem.”

Kotonoha got out of his embrace and wiped her tears with her sleeve.

“Even so,” she said. “I’m the one causing all the problems. I don’t want you to walk around with all that frustration and I certainly don’t want to force you into a relationship you don’t want.”

“I do want you. I just don’t know if I can. It’s…” he hesitated. “Your trust issues won’t vanish in a single day.”

“What do you want to do then? Break up?”

“I don’t know.”

Kotonoha sighed. “We shouldn’t get back together just like that. I don’t want you to just yield for this behaviour.”

If he got back together with her so easily, he’d basically say it was okay to behave like that. So what would stop her from doing it again?

“You’re right,” she said. “It’s my fault and I haven’t done anything to make things right again. I haven’t even apologised to you.”

Makoto sighed as well. “Why is this so hard? I want you, and you want me, I think.”

“I do. More than anything in the world.”

“So why can’t we just be together then?”

“We can’t just pretend this never happened. I really hurt you.”

“I guess you did, but…”

“Wait, just, let me start over please.”

She got off the couch and sank down on her knees in front of him.

“Uhm, Kotonoha?”

Kotonoha kept her gaze down. “I’m really sorry-”

“You really don’t have to-”

“I do,” she kept her head down. “Please, let me.”

“Alright then. If it makes you feel better.”

“I’m really sorry for all those things I’ve said. I don’t think you were touching my chest back then, those dreams have nothing to do with you, and you didn’t ask Otome to bully me. When my top got loose at the pool, that wasn’t your fault, it was just the water. I’m not losing my balance on the train because of you, I’m just clumsy. And when my anemia plays up, it’s obviously not you who's making me faint.” She tried to think whether there was something else she had accused him of.

“Kotonoha?”

“Hm?” She looked up.

“Why are you suddenly so convinced?”

“How do you mean?”

“Well, before you were so sure I had done all those things. And now you suddenly changed your mind.”

“It’s not even physically possible for you to do half of those things.”

“Yes, but that didn’t stop you before, did it? So it’s weird you’re doing this 180 now.”

“Well, there is… there is something else.”

“Yes?”

“I… I can’t tell you.”

“Kotonoha. If you want me to forgive you, you’re gonna have to tell me everything. No more secrets.”

Her heart was beating incredibly fast now.

How would he react if she admitted she had spied on him?

He’d definitely break up with her.

“I uhm… I talked to Sekai.” Technically speaking that was true.

“Oh.”

“Her outside perspective kinda showed how silly I was,” Kotonoha said. 

“Well why didn’t you just say so?”

“Because it sounds like I need someone else to tell me when I’m being silly. I’d prefer it if you thought I figured it out on my own, but I didn’t.”

“Oh, I get it.”

She wanted to tell him the truth, but her fear for his response was simply too big.

“I promise it won’t happen again,” Kotonoha said.

Her knees were starting to hurt, but she stayed on the floor.

“How can you know that?”

“Sorry. I promise I’ll try my best to make sure it doesn’t happen again. If it does, please tell me and we can try and figure something out.”

“Hm. Well I guess if you’re trying hard, that’s good enough for me.”

“Does this mean we’re a couple again?”

“It means I’ll give it another try.”

He held out his hand.

She took it.

Makoto helped her up.

“Come here,” he said. He tapped his lap.

“I…”

“You’re my girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, I am.” 

She sat down on his lap, facing him. Their heads were on equal height now.

He leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. It was a very short one.

When he pulled back, she wanted to reach forward and kiss him again.

“Ah, sorry,” Makoto said. “I didn’t ask.”

“You don’t have to,” she said. “I’m your girlfriend, you can kiss me whenever you want.”

He smiled. “Well you don’t mind if I do it again then, do you?”

“Please do.” She closed her eyes.

They made out for a while. Makoto’s hands stayed on her lower back the entire time. There was a tiny part of her that secretly hoped they would start roaming all over her body. But maybe now wasn’t the time for that.

Kotonoha was getting more and more worked up. As usual, she was already dripping wet after a single kiss. She really had to stop or this would get out of hand.

“So uhm,” Kotonoha said. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Are you sure? What about your parents?”

“I think it’s about time I formally introduced you,” Kotonoha said. “Don’t you think so?”

“Yeah, but maybe you should tell them I’m coming over first.”

“Nah. No need. That sounds like I need their permission.”

“You don’t?”

“I’m old and wise enough to decide on my own.” She puffed up her cheeks.

“Well I’m not arguing about the old part, but  _ wise _ …”

“Meanie.” She kissed him again.

“So,” Makoto said. “Horror movie?”

“Are you trying to make me snuggle up close to you?”

“Busty.”

She frowned. “You mean busted?”

“No, I was talking about your chest.”

“Hey.” She hid them with her hands, which didn’t really work out well. Her hands were way too small. Or her chest was too big, one or the other.

“Sorry. You just look so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

At this rate, she was gonna do a lot more than simply kissing him.

“Uhum.” She got off his lap. “So, horror movie?” She picked up the remote.

“If you’re not too scared.”

She got down on the couch next to him.

“I am. You’re gonna have to hold my hand.”

He smiled faintly and took her hand. Their fingers interlaced.

They watched the movie together. Kotonoha had lots of fun pretending she was scared and snuggling up close to him. Makoto seemed to like that.

About halfway through, her mom came home.

“Kotonoha? Are you home?”

“I’m here mom.” She paused the tv and got up.

The door opened.

“Can you help me with these groc-” her eyes fell onto Makoto. “Oh.”

“Uhum, this is my boyfriend, Itou Makoto,” Kotonoha said.

“Nice to meet you, Miss,” Makoto said. He held out his hand.

She put down the bag she was holding and shook his hand. “Katsura Manami.”

Her eyes wandered to her daughter. “I thought that Sekai-girl was your girlfriend?”

“Are the two mutually exclusive?” Makoto asked. He turned to Kotonoha. “Ye, you said your mom was pretty modern.”

“Excuse me?” Manami spoke Kotonoha’s exact thoughts.

“We’re having a threesome relationship,” Makoto said. “It’s called polyamory.”

“Makoto-kun,” Kotonoha hissed.

“Oh, sorry, you wanted to keep that secret?”

“That…” 

He turned back to her mom. “I’ll help you with your groceries.”

He walked out the door.

“Ah, you don’t have-”

“It’s not optional,” he called, without looking back.

Kotonoha hurried after him.

“What are you doing?” she hissed once they were outside.

“Helping to carry groceries.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Well, you said your dad didn’t approve of you having a boyfriend.”

“Yeah?”

“So, what do you think will happen now?” He picked up a bag from the trunk.

“I don’t know.”

“Your dad will definitely ask a lot of annoying questions. But your mom will stop him, because she doesn’t want him to find out you have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend.”

“But I don’t… oh.”

Yeah, that made sense. And if anything, it gave her an extra safety. Cause if her dad found out she was with both Sekai and Itou, she could simply explain she was with Makoto only. Then, he’d be relieved and forget he didn’t approve of that either. At least, that was what she was hoping on.

And if not, well, it was pretty fun to mess around with her mom like that.

Kotonoha took a bag as well.

“Onee-chan, is that your boyfriend?”

She turned. “Oh Kokoro-chan.”

“Is that your little sister?” Makoto asked.

“Uhu.”

“I’m Kokoro,” the girl said.

“That’s a cool name.”

She smiled brightly. “I like him.”

“Well he’s mine,” Kotonoha said. She took his arm.

“Worried?” Makoto asked.

“Kokoro is gonna steal you away from me,” Kotonoha said.

Makoto chuckled. “How old is she? Nine?”

“Hey, I’m ten.” Kokoro pouted.

“Ah, sorry, my bad.”

“So have you two kissed already?” Kokoro asked.

“Ye, don’t ask questions like that,” Kotonoha complained.

“I’m so glad both of you are helping me,” a sarcastic voice cut in.

“Oh, mom. Uhm, I was just gonna bring this inside.”

“Well do take your time.”

“Sorry.”

She got inside with Makoto-kun. Kokoro tried following her, but their mother stopped her.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Inside?”

“You could at least help me carry the groceries.”

“Me? Child labor is illegal, mom.”   
Their conversation faded in the background.

Kotonoha put the groceries on the kitchen table.

Kokoro came in as well carrying what must have been the smallest bag she could find.

They went back to the living room before Manami could give them more work.

Kokoro ran to the couch.

“Onee-chan, what are you watching?”

Kotonoha turned pale.

“Give me that remote.”

“What? No, this looks fine.”

“You’re way too young for that.”

She tried to grab her sister, but Kokoro slipped past her. Unfortunately, as she ran around the table, she bumped into Makoto who easily took the remote from her.

He turned off the tv.

“Ye, no fun,” Kokoro complained.

Kotonoha mouthed an apology to Makoto, but he didn’t seem to mind much.

Her dad arrived some time later. It was a pretty awkward meeting, but Manami very quickly distracted him.

Looks like Makoto was right. Her mom was quite scared he would find out she  was with both Makoto and Sekai, so she did her very best to keep talking about things that diverted attention away from them. She also pretended she had invited them and simply ‘forgotten’ to tell him about it, so he wasn’t angry at Kotonoha.

All in all, it went reasonably well. A lot better than she had feared.

They ate dinner together. Afterwards, Kotonoha told them they both had homework to finish so they could flee.

She walked him back to the station.

“That went reasonably well,” Makoto said.

“Yeah.”

She reached for his hand.

“Hey, don’t worry,” he said. “I’m sure your dad will turn around.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“Well what is he gonna do? Is he gonna lock you up in your room for the rest of your days?”

“Maybe,” she smiled. “You’ll come save me then, won’t you?”

“Of course. Shall I put on shining armor?” he suggested.

“Obviously. You can borrow my sword and horse.”

“You have your own horse?”

“Uhm, little bit. It’s in France though.”

“Oh. What’s his name?”

“ _ Her _ name.”

“Well maybe she identifies as a stallion.”

“I’ll ask her next time.”

They reached the station.

Kotonoha sighed. “Your train will be here soon.”

“Yeah. Lunch tomorrow?”

“Always,” she said. “We should ask Sekai too. I don’t want her to feel left out.”

“Sure. I’ll ask her.”

“I uhm…”

“Hm?”

“I love you.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

He was so surprised he did not respond to her kiss.

“K-Kotonoha?”

“I’m not afraid anymore.” For once, she was sure of herself. “I’m in love with you.”

“I…”

They heard the screeching of the train behind him.

“You have to go. I’ll see you in my dreams, Makoto-kun.”

“Y-Yeah, sure.”

They shared one last kiss. Then, he got on the train.

The doors closed.

She waved at him. He waved back, still very confused at her sudden confession.

Then, the train sped up, went out of sight and he was gone. Well not gone of course. After all, he was always on her mind.


	12. Chapter 12

Kotonoha forced her eyes open. 

Had it worked?

She could feel it had. Even so, she wanted to confirm it with her own eyes.

Slowly, Kotonoha lifted her head and looked.

A breath of relief escaped her lips.

A partial win. She could settle for that.

Once again, she was touching herself. However, it was only her chest this time.

While her panties had soaked through, she hadn’t touched herself down there. Her thighs were rubbing together, searching for some relief.

Kotonoha stopped doing that when she noticed it. She also pulled her hands away from her chest.

Looks like it worked. At least, that’s what she assumed. It was always possible she had touched but retracted her hand before waking up.

In any case, it looked like she had instilled some kind of fear in herself which prevented her from touching, sort of. It wasn’t fully successful yet.

Still, this was proof she could train her body to behave properly to some extent. And consequently, she could also train herself not to freak out when Makoto-kun touched her. After all, she wanted to be touched. It was her body that freaked out, not her mind. Not her full mind at least.

Kotonoha sighed.

There were several issues though. 

Firstly, she couldn’t keep slapping herself between her legs as punishment. On the roof, she had felt really guilty, but right now, she would involuntary hold back. It was very difficult to hurt yourself like that.

And if she was the one deciding when she got punished, couldn’t she try to talk herself out of it? As she had actually tried to do before.

Ideally she’d be asking Makoto-kun to help her out, but there was no way she could ever muster up the courage to ask him for anything like that. 

She had to come up with a nice and simple way to train herself.

“Kotonoha? Are you awake?” A voice called.

After school that is.

“Coming.”

She put on her uniform and went downstairs.

Today, she actually had a decent breakfast.

“Kotonoha,” her mom said.

“Hm?”

“Do you really have both a girlfriend and a boyfriend?”

“Well uhm…”

“Yes?”

Kotonoha sighed. “No.”

“I knew it,” her mom proclaimed.

“You were totally convinced last night.”

“That boyfriend of yours was pretty convincing. But now that I slept it over, it’s pretty obvious that you wouldn’t do something like that.”

Kotonoha said nothing.

“You hoped I would reign your dad in a bit, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

“You could have just asked.”

“Sorry.”

“I for one like Makoto-kun.”

She felt a sting of jealousy. “Well of course you like him. He’s amazing. And he’s mine.”

“I wasn’t gonna steal him away.”

“Ah, sorry. Of course not.”

“Although…”

“Mom!”

“What? Just because I’m old, does that mean I can’t be attracted to a young handsome lad anymore?”

“Not because you’re old,” Kotonoha corrected her. “Because you’re my mom and he’s my boyfriend.”

“Fair point.”

She finished her breakfast before her mother could embarrass her any more.

When she was done, she hurried to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. Then, she combed her hair.

She would see Makoto-kun at school today, so she had to look good. But she couldn’t take too long either or she’d miss the train. There were other trains, but Makoto-kun wasn’t on those.

Kotonoha took her bag, put on her shoes and went out.

She knew it was silly. Trying to make her hair look better wouldn’t make much of a difference. The simple truth was that Makoto-kun deserved a better girlfriend. While he had forgiven her, she didn’t expect him to just forget about everything that had happened. She had to show him she was working on it. And…

Kotonoha sighed.

She had not told him the full truth. Makoto still didn’t know she had spied on him that day. And-

Loud barking reached her.

Kotonoha looked up.

A huge black dog ran at her.

She stumbled back and fell hard on her butt. The pavement was unforgiving to her.

The dog stood over her and barked, his head uncomfortably close.

“Here.” A strong hand grabbed the collar and pulled back the animal.

She spotted a large blonde man. He clipped a leash on the dog’s collar.

“I’m really sorry,” he said. “His leash got loose.”

“It’s okay.” She got up. Her butt hurt a bit, but she was alright given the situation. 

Maybe this was karma? After all, she hadn’t punished herself this morning for touching. Sure, maybe she hadn’t touched herself down there, but she had still played with her breasts. And as long as she didn’t do anything sexy with Makoto-kun in real life, no touch was the only acceptable option. She was the reason he was frustrated, so she should be frustrated as well, that was only fair. “He has some behavioural problems,” the man said. “My wife says I should train him with a shock collar, but that just feels wrong.”

A light went on in her head. “What did you say?”

He frowned. “Shock collar? Are you okay, Miss?”

“Ah, I’m fine.”

“Okay. Sorry again. Come boy.” He tugged hard on the leash. The dog reluctantly went with him.

Shock collar. Hm.

No, no. What the hell was she thinking? That was insane.

Yet it was technically designed to train animals, so how was training her own body any different from…

She forced away the thought. She’d be late for school at this rate.

Kotonoha hurried on to the station.

Makoto-kun was already waiting for her on the train.

“Morning, beautiful.”

“Hey, handsome.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him on his cheek.

She wanted to do more, but they were in public.

“Did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She didn’t mention she had dreamed about him again.

The train started moving.

Makoto automatically wrapped his arm around her waist to keep her from falling.

She smiled. “Thanks.”

“Hey uhm.” He didn’t release her. “About last night.”

“Hm?”

“Sorry I didn’t reply. You took me off guard.”

“You don’t have to. I wasn’t expecting an answer.”

“Okay. Thanks.” He released her waist again.

“I got attacked by a dog this morning,” she said, changing the subject.

“You  _ what _ ?”

“Well there was this huge black dog that got loose and attacked me. But the owner pulled him off, don’t worry.”

“Are you hurt?” He asked, concern in his voice.

“Well, a bit.”

“Where?”

Kotonoha blushed.

She looked around. No one was looking at them so she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Kotonoha?” He looked confused.

“Put your hands around me, please.”

“Okay?” He rested his hands on her lower back.

“It hurts,” she took one of his hands and shifted it down to the tender spot.

“Right here.”

It was just below her hipline. The part where you could no longer call it your lower back.

“Oh.”

He checked if anyone was looking at them, but they were safe. And unless you looked properly, it appeared as if they were just hugging.

Even though it looked like that, it was more than enough for Kotonoha. She already felt her body responding. Her panties got wet again.

“You’re getting rather confident,” he said.

“Is that bad?”   
“No, no, I like it.”

The train abruptly slowed down. His hand shifted slightly.

She instinctively grabbed his wrist.

“Uhm Kotonoha?”

Her fingers were gripping him very tight.

“Ah sorry.”

She released him immediately.

He didn’t put his hands on her again.

Kotonoha averted her gaze and looked outside.

The rest of the journey was spent in awkward silence.

There was a painful irony she had freaked out just after he had told her she had grown more confident. She hadn’t. She had convinced herself she had, but there was still a very long way to go.

Kotonoha sighed inwardly. Maybe she should…

_ No, no. Don’t be ridiculous. _

They arrived at their stop shortly after.

“I’m sorry,” Kotonoha said once they were outside.

“I thought you were trying.” There was annoyance in his voice.

“I am, but…”

“Hey,” he said, more softly. “I knew you are. I’m just-”

“No, no. You have every right to be angry. I freaked out over nothing again.”

“It was no big deal.” He put his hand around her shoulder.

She sighed. “It wouldn’t be, if this was the only time it happened. But you know it won’t be like that. It will just happen again and again and-”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, shall we?”

“Sorry, you’re right, I’m rambling.”

“Give yourself some credit. You’re expecting miracles from day one, that’s not gonna happen. I believe in you. You’re doing everything you can.”

He hugged her.

“Y-Yes.” She felt a stab of guilt again. He shouldn’t believe in her. She was not telling him the whole truth. Makoto-kun still didn’t know about her spying on him. How could he believe in her if she clearly didn’t believe in him?

And she was  _ not _ doing everything she could. There was something else she could do. Even involuntary responses could be changed if you put your mind to it.

The hug ended and they walked on to school. Makoto took her hand without asking.

They were passed by Otome. Otome didn’t say anything, but her walking pace was a little too high to be natural.

“Classes are gonna start,” Makoto said. “I’ll see you at lunch.”

“Yeah.”

She went to her class.

Otome had apparently decided to start ignoring her again. Which, frankly, was a big relief.

She focused on her classes with moderate success today. 

At lunchtime, she went up the roof.

The door was ajar, and she heard voices behind it. Loud voices.

“You can’t stay with her out of pity, Makoto!”

Kotonoha stopped dead in her tracks. That was Sekai’s voice.

“I know, I know,” Makoto-kun replied. “I’m not staying with her out of pity.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“It’s none of your business,” he said, angry.

“You’re my friend and I don’t want you to get hurt again. You’re not a good match with her.”

“And we are?”

Wait, what?

Both Sekai and Kotonoha were shocked for a moment.

“T-That is beside the point, Makoto. I’m worried about you. Kotonoha is not normal.”

“She just has some trust issues. She’s trying hard.”

“How do you know that?”

“I… I just know.”

“You-”

“Be quiet,” he hissed. “She can be here any second. We can talk about this later.”

Ah.

Kotonoha sneaked back down the stairs. She counted to one hundred first. It would be suspicious if she arrived just after they had stopped arguing. And they would be worried she had overheard them.

No, not overheard.  _ Eavesdropped _ . There was no twisting it around. She should have announced her presence or left. That conversation was private.  _ Very  _ private.

Kotonoha took the stairs up again, slightly louder than needed.

She opened the door.

“Hey Kotonoha,” Makoto said.

Sekai smiled. It was a bit forced, but if she didn’t know, she would never be able to tell.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kotonoha said. “School festival stuff.”

“No problem,” Makoto said.

They sat down on the bench.

Kotonoha took out her lunch.

“Itadakimasu,” she mumbled. The others repeated it and started eating.

A silence fell.

“So uhm,” Sekai broke the awkward silence. “How are things between you two?”

“Uhm, okay? I guess,” Kotonoha said, she looked at Makoto-kun for confirmation.

“Y-Yeah,” Makoto said.

“That doesn’t sound very convincing,” Sekai said.

Makoto threw her an angry glare when he thought Kotonoha wasn’t looking.

“I-It’s been one day,” Kotonoha said. “Give us some time.”

“Y-Yeah,” Makoto said.

Why was he so reluctant to defend her? It was going well, right? As well as could be expected. Of course it was a bit awkward, but-

Unless…

Maybe Sekai was right? Maybe Makoto  _ was  _ with her out of pity. After all, she had put him in a pretty difficult position. It was blatantly obvious it would hit her really hard if he broke up with her. Makoto and Sekai were the only friends she had. And when a girl apologised like she had done, it was very difficult to break up with her. The more obvious it became this wouldn’t work out, the harder she clung to him. Makoto wasn’t really in a position for a clean breakup.

“Well it’s not my business of course,” Sekai said.

“Indeed,” Makoto said, a bit too hard.

Another silence fell.

They finished eating.

Sekai stood up.

“It just occurred to me I still have a physics report to hand in.”

Kotonoha suspected she was looking for an excuse to get out. But she didn’t mind since she had some things to ask Makoto-kun.

“Okay, see you in class.”

“See you.”

She left them.

“Uhum,” Kotonoha cleared her throat. “Makoto-kun?”

“Hm?”

“Did you ever date Sekai?”

He frowned. “Where did you get that?”

“Ah, nowhere.”

“Are you scared I’ll leave you for a different girl?”

“Always,” she said.

“Don’t worry. I would never leave you,” he said. “ _ Even though I should. _ ”

He spoke those last words on a very different tone.

“I… what did you say?”

“I said I would never leave you. ‘Never’ is maybe a bit too-”

“No I mean after that.”

He frowned. “I didn’t say anything after that, Kotonoha.”

“Y…”  _ yes you did _ .

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

She must have imagined that last part. 

Kotonoha took his hand. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.”

He looked at her. “Uhm, isn’t that a bit much? ‘Never’ is pretty extreme.”

“You just said ‘never’. Why can’t you say it again?”

“Uhm, Kotonoha? Could you be slightly less… forceful? You’re choking me over here.”

“Ah,” she let go of his hand and looked down. “Sorry.”

He gently pulled her to his chest.

She settled into the embrace even though she didn’t deserve it.

“I understand you have some separation anxiety, but you know I can’t promise to be with you  _ forever _ . What if it really doesn’t work out? It’s gone wrong before, hasn’t it?”

“Yes,” she admitted.

“So what if that happens again? And again, and again? Do you expect me to forgive you over and over again? I don’t know if I can do that, Kotonoha. I can only promise you that I’ll try.”

“You don’t have to,” she pulled away from the embrace. “It won’t happen again.”

“If you say so.”

“I’m doing every…” she swallowed hard. “I’m doing everything I can.”

“I believe you.”

She felt another painful stab in her chest.

“I’m just scared you’ll leave me for a better girl,” she admitted.

“I’m not planning to leave you, Kotonoha.”

“I… what is that supposed to mean?” She felt a sudden flare of anger.

“Kotonoha?”

“Are you just waiting for a better girl to come along?”

“What, no, of course n-”

“If you’re just with me because you’re waiting for an upgrade then-”

“Kotonoha! That’s enough.”

Her face turned bright red. “I-I’m sorry,” she lowered her head. “I got carried away again.”

“Yes, you did.”

The bell rang.

“I have to get back to class,” he said. “We can talk when school is over.”

“Ah, uhm… I… I’m going home alone tonight.” She had made her decision.

“Oh. Okay.”

“There is something I have to do.”

“Okay. Just, be safe. I’ll call you tonight.”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha stood up. “We really have to get back to class now.”

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

“I am?”

He leaned in and kissed her.

“Sorry,” she said. “I forgot.”

“It’s okay.”

_ No. It’s not. _

* * *

 

Kotonoha locked the door of her room.

She took a deep breath in and out to calm down.

All things considered, it had been quite easy to get it. She had simply said they had a large dog with behavioural problems. The part about the dog was a lie, but someone having behavioural problems was entirely true. When they asked her age she had simply said she was nineteen and they hadn’t asked for her ID. She did look old enough with a body like that.

With some searching online, she had found how to modify them for human use. She was slightly concerned this information was available. Somehow, she did not think it was used for the same application as she intended to use it.

But electrotherapy had been used for years to treat mental health problems. So why shouldn’t it work here?

She put it in her bag again and sneaked to the garage. With her dad’s tools, she modified the pins a bit so they wouldn’t damage her skin.

When she was done, she got back to her room.

She locked the door again and put the collar on. It fit well. It didn’t cut her anywhere.

Kotonoha checked herself in the mirror.

Was this really such a good idea?

She reached to take it off again, but her phone rang before she could.

Kotonoha picked up.

“Hello?”

[Hey, Kotonoha. I just called to see if you were alright.]

“Ah, Makoto-kun. Yeah, I’m fine.”

[Did you uhm… take care of it? Whatever it is.]

“Ah, yes, I did.” She looked at herself in the mirror again.

[Okay.]

“Hey, uhm, Makoto-kun?”

[Hm?]

“I have a little confession to make.”

[Uhm, okay. I’m listening.]

“Today I uhm… I overheard you and Sekai.”

[Oh.]

“I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

[So that's why you asked whether I dated Sekai?]

“Uhm, yes.” Why wasn’t he angry at her?

[Look, the thing is… Sekai confessed to me once. And I turned her down.]

“She  _ what _ ?”

[She’s a dear friend, but nothing more, and I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. So we stayed just friends.]

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She demanded. 

Kotonoha suddenly remembered he hadn’t technically responded when she had asked him.

[Sekai didn’t want me to tell you. She felt it would be difficult to be friends with you.]

“Because I stole you away from her?”

[ _ Steal _ ? What am I, jewelry? I was never gonna date her, you have nothing to do with this. But Sekai thought you might not see it that way.]

“Yeah, I can understand that. Thanks for telling me.”

[You didn’t give me much choice,] he pointed out.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.”

[Ah, no, I just… forget it.]

“There is something else.”

[Hm?]

She took a deep breath. “That Sunday, I uhm… I went to your apartment and spied on you.”

[You did  _ what _ ?]

“I went to the roof to see what you were doing. I was convinced you would…”

[Play video games?] he suggested.

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m sorry.”

[Thanks for telling me. That must have been hard.]

“I…”

_ Don’t be so understanding. _

[I can’t force you to trust me.]

“I do trust you.”

[Well the facts speak a bit against you.]

“I know. But…”

[Don’t worry about it, Kotonoha.]

“I have to go.”

[Kotonoha?]

She hung up and put her phone on the nightstand.

Kotonoha sat down on her bed.

Why was he so understanding? Why wasn’t he yelling at her? He should be angry at her. He should…

She took the remote.

If he didn’t do it, she’d do it herself.

Kotonoha switched it on. She turned on the collar as well. There was a little beeping noise. Not loud enough to carry beyond her room, just to warn her it was on.

She turned it on five. There were ten settings, so this was halfway.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. Then, she pressed the button.

A shock went through her.

Fuck.

She put down the remote.

Maybe she should have tried on a lower setting first.

_ No _ . She couldn’t try and get away with it like that. This wasn’t for show.

She calmed down again.

Now that she had done it, she felt strangely relieved. Now at least she could forgive herself. If mistakes didn’t have consequences, she’d just repeat them over and over again until Makoto-kun grew tired of her. Or ran out of pity.

Her phone rang again. Kotonoha picked it up.

[Kotonoha?]

“Ah, sorry I hung up.”

[Are you okay?]

She looked at the remote. “Yeah, I am now.”

[Okay.]

“So, how was your day?”

[Well…]

They continued talking about unimportant things, until…

“Kotonoha?” Someone tried to come in. “Why is your door locked?”

“My mom. I have to go.”

[Okay. See you.]

She hung up.

Kotonoha went to the door. Luckily, she realised she still had the collar on before she could open it.

She quickly removed it and hid it under her blanket with the remote.

“Kotonoha?” 

“Coming.”

She unlocked the door.

“Why is your door locked?” her mother asked.

“I was calling Makoto-kun.”

“And your door needs to be locked for that?” 

She came in.

“It’s private.”

Manami sighed.

“Look, Kotonoha.” She sat down on the bed, right next to the subtle bulge where the remote and collar were hidden.

Kotonoha felt her heart skip several beats.

“Mom.”

“When a boy and a girl-”

“Oh my God, mom. We’re not having this conversation now.”

“I just want you to be safe.” She sounded annoyed.

“You know I’m on the pill.”

“Even so-”

“What? Maybe he has HIV? Syfilis? Chlamydia?”

“Please don’t make a joke out of this.”

“I know what I’m doing mom. I’m not a child.”

“Alright alright. I’m just worried about you.”

“There’s nothing to be worried about.”

“Okay, I trust you.”

Her mom stood up again and went downstairs.

Kotonoha breathed out. That was close.

Her mother didn’t understand. Kotonoha was already too far down.

Nothing anyone said could convince her of anything at this point. She had no choice but to see this through until the end.


	13. Chapter 13

Kotonoha pushed her tongue past his lips. He easily yielded for her.

His hand lowered to her butt and softly squeezed. She started kissing him harder.

Her panties were soaked, as usual, but she could easily resist the urge to touch herself. Her training as paying off.

Kotonoha pulled him closer towards her. Something hard pressed against her thighs.

She was startled and broke off the kiss.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Give me some room to breathe, Makoto-kun.”

“Oh, do I take your breath away?” he teased her.

“Am I giving you a hard time?” she shot back.

He turned red and avoided her gaze.

“It’s a compliment,” she assured him. “It means I’m doing a good job.”

“Yeah,” he said. “You’re improving.”

“Improving?”

“Ah, I mean, you’re more confident.”

“You can say it like it is, Makoto-kun. I consider tongue-kissing an improvement too.” She had indeed gotten a lot more confident lately.

He smiled.

Kotonoha made a mental note for pulling away from the kiss.

A two? Or a three? Well she had saved the situation so a two would suffice.

“You want to go on another date tomorrow?” he asked.

“Tomorrow?”

“Saturday, yes. Sorry, I should have asked sooner.”

“No, it’s okay,” she said. “I had nothing planned anyway.” Nor had she planned anything for every other weekend.

“Maybe we could go to the pool again?” he suggested.

“Hoping to see me in bikini again, are you?” she teased him.   
“Or without it.”

“Tsk.” She gave him a peck on his lips.

“Is that a yes?” he asked.

She blushed deep red. “I-I don’t know if I’m ready to show you my-”

He chuckled. “I was talking about going to the pool.”

“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay.”

“Although if you insisted on showing me, I wouldn’t stop you.”

“Patience, handsome.”

She gave him another light kiss.

“Come here you little tease.” He pulled her closer and pressed his lips on hers. It was a serious kiss this time. His tongue invaded her mouth.

Unfortunately, the bell rang at that point. They broke off the kiss.

“Looks like lunch break is over,” she said.

She wanted this kiss to last forever, but reality had caught up with them it seemed.

“But I wasn’t finished with my dessert yet,” he complained.

“Poor boy,” she teased him. “Is your mom home tonight?”

“She’s working.”

“I’ll come over then. We still need to finish this.”

He smiled. “I’ll make you dinner then.”

“No, the girl should cook.”

“Why?”

“Uhm…”

“Besides, you suck at cooking,” he reminded her.

She turned red. “Maybe. But I can learn.”

“I can teach you a bit, if you want to.”

“That would be nice. Then I’ll teach you how to tongue kiss.”

“I’m already an expert on that,” he said. “Although I’m not opposed to more practice.”

She leaned in again.

“We’ll be late,” he warned her.

She pouted.

“We’ll make it up tonight,” he said.

“Fine.”

He took her hand and guided her downstairs.

“See you after school,” he said.

“I already miss you.”

They kissed one last time and then ran off to class.

She was indeed a bit late, but she told the teacher she was busy for the school festival, and he was fine with it. In fact, he complimented her for her hard work.

Kotonoha took her seat. Her mind was with Makoto for the rest of the day.

After school, they met up and went to his house. She had been there several times now.

They got started on making dinner. Well, Makoto made dinner while he gave her some tips and occasionally let her do some easier parts.

“You’re a good student,” he said.

“Thanks.” She blushed. “I-If there is anything else you want to teach me, feel free to-”

A pinging noise sounded behind her.

“That’s the oven,” he said. “It’s finished heating up.”

He walked past her and checked the lights on the oven.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” he asked.

“Nothing. So we put it in now?”

“Indeed.”

“I’ll do it then.”

She took the oven mitts and picked up the dish. He opened the oven for her so she could put it in.

“So now we just wait,” he said, closing the oven again.

Kotonoha put the oven mitts on the counter.

Suddenly, Makoto hugged her from behind. His hands were on her belly.

“Ye, can’t wait for your dessert, can you?” she asked.

“Nope.”

She leaned her head back so they could kiss. She wasted little time in turning it into a French kiss.

Makoto’s hands slowly shifted upwards as they made out.

Was he gonna…?

She wasn’t ready for that yet. She had to… 

His hands kept going upwards.

Just as he would reach them, she grabbed his wrists.

Their kiss stopped.

“Sorry,” he said. “I couldn’t help myself.”

“No, no. I’m the one who should apologise. I know you want to touch them.”

“You don’t want that? I-”

“I do. I want it so badly…  ah.” She turned red. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“So, what’s the problem then?” He looked confused.

“I don’t know.”

He shook his head. “Girls.”

“I uhm… I have to go to the bathroom.”

“Sure.” She heard him sighing.

Makoto moved aside for her.

She subtly picked up her backpack in the living room and went to the bathroom. Inside, she locked the door.

Kotonoha took out a plastic bag from her backpack. It was hidden all the way down.

She took out her collar and put it on her neck.

By now, she had gotten used to this sight in the mirror. There was no hesitation anymore.

Kotonoha took a deep breath.

Six?

She had ruined the kiss. And she hadn’t even given him a proper reason. Makoto would probably be really frustrated with her. She said she wanted it as well, but she didn’t let him. How cruel was that?

Seven would be more suitable.

Kotonoha turned on the remote and the collar. She navigated to seven.

Until now, she had not done it at this intensity yet. The highest she had gone this week was a six. (The six being retroactive punishment for slapping him at the movie theater during their first date.)

She took a deep breath. While biting her lip, she pushed the button.

Fuck.

She suppressed the urge to curse out loud.

That hurt really bad. You’d think the six in the past would have prepared her for seven, but she really wasn’t ready.

Even so, she deserved this. It was  _ supposed _ to hurt. After all, she had hurt him as well.

The pain subsided to a faint throbbing.

Kotonoha checked her reflection.

Oh.

Looks like she had bit down on her own lip.

She reached up and wiped away the blood.

She had to be more careful.

Even so, she wasn’t done yet. While she was here, she might as well do the rest.

Let’s see. She still had a two from pulling away at lunch when she noticed he had grown hard. Was there something else too?

…

Kotonoha got out of the bathroom. She put her bag away again and went to the kitchen.

“Makoto-kun?”

“Yeah?” He turned off the oven. “It’s finished. I was just gonna take it out.”

“Before you do, there is uhm…”

“Hm?”

She stood back in the same spot she had stood before.

“Can we do it over?” she asked.

“Kotonoha?”

“Just, do again what you wanted to do before.”

“Are you sure?”

“I want it. I really do.”

“But-”

“I was just surprised. I didn’t  _ really _ want you to stop. In fact, I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately and… just, do it again please. I want it, just like you.”  _ Maybe even more. _

“Isn’t this a little forced? I mean, the mood is a bit…”

“Ah, yeah, you’re right. Sorry.”

“And what about next time? You want me to ask every time so I don’t surprise you?”

“No.” She did not want to go back to that ever again. “Just, whenever you want, okay? And if I pull away again, I’ll…”  _ I’ll put it on ten _ .

“Don’t worry about it.” He gave her a short kiss on her lips.

Of course she was worrying about it. How could he be so naive?

“Hm.” He licked his lips.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I thought I tasted blood on your lips.”

“Ah, I accidentally bit my lip in the bathroom,” she explained.

He frowned. “How did you do that?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Kotonoha pouted.

“Well I hope not. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.”

Her eyes widened.

“Kotonoha?”

“Nothing. Didn’t you say dinner was ready?”

“Yeah I did.”

“I’ll take it out.” 

She carefully took it out and placed it on the table

“It looks good.”

She sat down at her usual seat.

Makoto filled her plate first and then his. He sat down next to her. Their legs touched.

“Well, itadakimasu.” He clapped his hands together.

She repeated it.

The dish didn’t just look good, it also tasted really good.

“You’re good at cooking,” she said.

“I had help.”

“I don’t feel like I was much help to be honest.”

“You were trying your best. That’s what matters.”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I’m doing everything I can.”

They continued eating until both were full.

She helped Makoto with cleaning up. They put the rest of the dish in the fridge for his mom. When they were done, they both sat on the couch.

“So uhm,” Makoto said. “Do you want to watch a movie or some-”

She interrupted him by pressing her lips on his. There was an unusual desperation in her kiss.

Kotonoha put a knee on either side of him so she could sit on his lap.

She kissed him hard, forcing her tongue past his lips.

After several minutes of making out, she calmed down and released him.

“Sorry,” she said. “That was a bit forceful.”

“I don’t mind,” he said.

“No, no. You always say that, but…”

“You have my permission, Kotonoha,” he said. “You don’t have to hold back. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’ll tell you when there is a problem.”

“You never tell me when there is a problem,” she snapped. “You always say ‘it’s okay.’”

“Well what do you want me to say? ‘It’s not okay’?”

“It’s…” Kotonoha sighed. “I’m sorry. I can’t explain it.”

She was mad, but not at him. It was her fault for not saying how she felt.

The only way to explain it would be to show him the shock collar, and she could not do that.

“It's okay,” he said. “I won’t force you to tell me. I’m waiting for you whenever you are ready, Kotonoha.”

“I…” she leaned in close. “You said I didn’t have to hold back, right?”

“I did,” he confirmed.

“Well then, please don’t hold back either.”

“Are you sure?”

“No double standards, Makoto-kun.”

“Okay.”

They kissed again.

Soon, their tongues were playing around in each other’s mouth.

After a while, Makoto reached up and touched her breast. He didn’t fondle it, he just let his fingers rest on it.

Kotonoha inhaled sharply.

“You okay?”

“Sure. Go ahead and touch them, Makoto-kun.” She resisted the urge to pull his hand away.

Kotonoha leaned back in and kissed him.

Makoto slowly started to fondle and squeeze her breasts.

The urge to push him away vanished. Instead, a different urge bubbled up inside of her.

Makoto was getting her worked up. Just being with him got her wet, but when he kissed her like this, there was a lot more going on. She wanted to touch herself down there. And for the first time, there was something else too. She wanted to touch  _ him _ . She had dreamed about all kinds of sexy things before, but now was the first time she felt a strong urge to… 

He stopped kissing her. His hands left her breasts.

She leaned forward to keep kissing him.

“Give me a sec,” he said.

“What’s wrong?” she asked, her annoyance barely hidden. 

She did not want this kiss to end. She wanted his hands back on her breasts and his tongue back in her mouth.

“It’s nothing.” He was shifting uncomfortably.

“Tell me,” she insisted.

“You’re sitting on my uhm…”

“Oh. I’m so sorry.”

She immediately got of him.

Makoto let out a breath of relief.

“Does it hurt?” Kotonoha asked. She hesitantly reached out and touched his crotch. She could feel the hard outline of his… 

“A bit. But it’s oka-”

“No.” Her voice was hard. “It’s not okay. I don’t want you in pain Makoto-kun. And I’m the one who caused this in the first place.”

She was doing the one thing she never wanted to do: hurting Makoto-kun. Whether it was physical or mental, she was always hurting him. She had to fix this.

“It’s better now,” he said. “But it’s still straining against my pants.”

“Take it out please.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“It’s simple physics. There’s not enough room inside, so the pressure goes up. If you take it out, it won’t hurt anymore.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“I scored pretty high on science. I know how pressure works.”

“I mean are you ready for… you know, seeing it?”

“That’s not relevant. You’re in pain, I’d do  _ anything _ to stop that.”

“Okay then. But I want you to do it.”

“As you wish.” 

She popped his button and lowered the zipper. Her fingers brushed past him.

He was really hard. 

She felt a weird sense of accomplishment. She had caused this. Her kissing and her chest had caused him to get hard. But she also caused him pain, so she had to help him out.

“Better?” she asked.

“A bit.”

“I’ll fix it, don’t worry.” She took a deep breath. Kotonoha took his waistband and-

“Don’t pull directly down,” he warned her. “That will hurt a lot.”

“Okay, I’ll just.” She reached inside his boxers.

For the first time ever, she touched him there.

His breath stopped for a second.

She carefully pulled his boxers out over it with her free hand.

Wow.

It was a lot bigger than she had expected.

Kotonoha swallowed hard.

That was supposed to go inside of her. Completely.

“Better?” she asked. She released it again.

He shifted his boxers and pants further down. “Yeah, much better.”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Not as much.”

“But it still hurts?” she asked.

“Well, you know. If you don’t get any release it can start to hurt a bit.”

“Yeah, I understand.” She understood very well how frustration felt. And she didn’t want Makoto to feel like that.

“Shall I give you a hand?” she offered.

“Are you sure?”

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t certain, Makoto-kun.”

“Well if you insist.”

“I do.” Kotonoha had caused this, so it was only fair she fixed it as well. Makoto was in pain because of her.

She wrapped her hand around his erection.

“You’re gonna have to teach me,” she said. “I don’t know anything about… just tell me what you want me to do please.”

“Uhm. Well, to start with, just keep some pressure and move your hand up and down,” he said.

She tried it. “Like this?”

“Less pressure when you move back down.”

“Okay.”

As she gave him a hand, he grew more confident with his instructions. She tried her best to remember them all.

“That’s good.” He leaned back with a satisfied look. “You’re a good student.”

She smiled. “Like I said before: if there is anything you want to teach me, just say the word.”

“Go a bit faster,” he instructed her.

Kotonoha sped up. “Like this?”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes in bliss.

She was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. Makoto should be the one feeling most of the pleasure, but somehow, the act of pleasing her boyfriend made her feel incredible too.

“Will you,” she swallowed hard. “Touch my breasts again?”

“Maybe,” he teased her. “If you ask me nicely.”

“Will you  _ please _ touch them?” she played along.

Makoto reached out and touched her chest again.

While he played with her breasts, she continued jerking him off.

His breathing was going faster and faster.

“You’re really good,” he said.

“Thanks,” she beamed. “Anything for you, Makoto-kun.”

“I’m gonna…”

“Go ahead,” she said.

“It’s gonna be messy,” he warned her.

“Ah.” Of course. When a boy came, he…

She looked around. There was nothing near her she could use to stop it. He would do it all over his clothes at this rate.

She didn’t want Makoto-kun to get dirty.

“Don’t stop,” he said. “I’m gonna.”

Yeah, she could not stop at this point of course. Kotonoha knew how horrible it felt to stop just before the edge. She didn’t want Makoto-kun to feel like that, ever.

But what was she supposed to…

She got a sudden flash of inspiration.

“Kotonoha?” He gritted his teeth. “I can’t hold it anymore.”

She looked him in the eye. “Go ahead.”

“But-”

Kotonoha went down with her head and took the tip in her mouth.

He grunted. “Fuck.”

Thick ropes of cum shot into her mouth.

She kept her lips wrapped around the head. It all went into her mouth.

When he was done, she sucked out the last drops and sat back upright.

Kotonoha had managed to keep it all in her mouth.

The taste was nothing like anything she had ever tasted before. She instinctively wanted to spit it out, but… would that be disrespectful to Makoto-kun? Would he be hurt? If she ran of to the sink right now, it looked a bit… 

Kotonoha looked up at him, unsure.

“Swallow it,” he ordered. His voice was filled with confidence and authority.

She obeyed him without thinking about it. 

Kotonoha didn’t want to swallow the slimy liquid, but the fear of displeasing Makoto-kun outweighed her desire to spit it out. And she had been following his instructions so far, so it had become an automated response. He told her to do it, so she did it.

When she swallowed, it came back up. She swallowed hard a few more times until it stayed down.

The taste lingered in her mouth.

She released her breath. That was more difficult than she had thought it would be.

He petted her head. “That was amazing.”

“Thanks.” She beamed. She had been very unsure about this, but Makoto saying she had done well made all her worries go away.  “Does it still hurt?”

“Not anymore. Thanks to you.” 

He was soft again. Makoto put it back in his boxers and pulled his pants back up. He closed his zipper and button.

“Good, I’m happy.” She lowered her head on his lap.

Makoto caressed her hair.

Kotonoha turned on her back. “Am I a good girlfriend?” she asked, looking up.

“Yeah. You’re a very good girlfriend.”

“Let me know if it hurts again,” she said. “I’m happy to help you out.”

“I will.”

She let out a satisfied sigh and closed her eyes.

Kotonoha didn’t even consider she had not orgasmed herself. Her frustration was held at bay. As if they were connected and Makoto-kun cumming made her satisfied as well. She didn’t need an orgasm anymore, his was enough for both of them.

“Will you stay the night?” he asked.

She opened her eyes. “On the couch?”

“No I mean with me. In the same bed.”

She turned red.

Kotonoha had stayed here a few times before, but she had always slept on the couch.

“What about your mom?”

“I didn’t ask her opinion. I’m old enough to make my own decisions. I’m asking you.”

“Okay. Let’s sleep together then.”

They were both silent for a while.

She wanted to brush her teeth to get rid of this taste, but she knew that would be disrespectful. He had told her to swallow it for a reason.

“So, about that movie,” she asked.

He chuckled. “Horror?”

“Obviously.”

“I’ll get you a drink.”

He went to the kitchen. Moments later, he returned with two glasses filled with a soft drink.

He handed her one.

She drank deep. The taste of his cum vanished.

Kotonoha felt a strange sense of guilt. She couldn’t really explain where it came from. She had done nothing wrong, right?

Makoto took the remote. “Have you seen this one before?”

“Ah, no. Looks good.” She put her drink on the coffee table.

“Let’s watch this one then.”

He pressed play.

Makoto put his hand around her shoulder and pulled her close to his chest. She embraced him tight. They watched the movie like that.

His mom came home about halfway through.

“That was a long day,” she said. “What do I have to do to get some dinner here?”

Makoto paused the movie. “Agree that Kotonoha stays in my room tonight.”

“Hm.” His mom pondered for a sec. “Fine. But remember what I told you.”

“I remember. There is dinner in the fridge.”

“Okay.”

His mom went to the kitchen.

“What did she tell you?” Kotonoha whispered.

“She bought me condoms.”

“ _ What _ !?” she said, way too loud.

“Shh,” he shushed her.

His mom looked at them from the kitchen. “Something wrong?”

“Nothing. How is dinner?”

“In the microwave. But it looks good.”

“Kotonoha helped me out,” he said.

“No I didn’t,” she protested. “You did basically everything.”

“Take some credit. Take like, twelve percent of the credit.”

“Hm, I’ll settle for fifteen.”

“Thirteen,” he offered.

“ _ Fifteen _ .”

“Okay, fine, fifteen.”

Kotonoha smiled at him.

“So, where where we?” He grabbed the remote.

“The girl was just gonna die I think,” Kotonoha said.

“What? No way.”

“She’s no longer a virgin. You know only virgins survive in horror movies.”

“So you’d survive then?”

“As would you,” she bounced back.

He turned red. “Anyway, that girl can’t die. I like her…  _ personalities _ .”

She knew what he meant. The heroine was running around a lot, and her chest was pretty bouncy. If Kotonoha didn’t have such a large chest herself, she’d think they had digitally altered it.

“Luckily you don’t need to feel inadequate,” he said.

“Maybe.”

“Kotonoha?”

“Ah, nothing.”

She didn’t feel inadequate in terms of chest size, but there were plenty of other things she felt inadequate about.

His mom had bought him condoms, meaning she assumed they would be having sex at this point. But they were far from actual sex. Kotonoha had freaked out today because he touched her chest. She had fixed it, but still. What would be the next thing she would freak out about?

Although, to her credit, she had made him cum with her hands. So she was moving forward. But real sex was still a distant dream.

The movie finished an hour and a half later. As she had said, the big breasted heroine died. 

“It’s getting late,” Makoto said. “Let’s go to bed.”

“Yeah.”

She took her bag and went with him to his room.

Kotonoha took out the tank top she used to sleep in.

Maybe…

Maybe she should undress in front of him? Makoto had been touching them before, so she could show him, right? He had implied pretty clearly he wanted to see them. And if she was being honest, she wanted to show him. It was embarrassing, but maybe that was what made it so enticing to her.

“Kotonoha?”

“I’ll go change in the bathroom.”

She hurried out of his room.

_ Stupid _ . Why had she wasted this opportunity?

_ Don’t kid yourself _ . She may be moving forward, but it was at a glacial speed. One baby step at a time. There had already been too many first times today.

Kotonoha brushed her teeth meticulously. Then, she got undressed. 

She put on a fresh pair of panties. Kotonoha could only enjoy the sensation for a few seconds because a wet spot formed basically immediately. Was it the thought of sleeping with Makoto-kun in the same bed? Or the memory of giving him a hand and feeling his hands on her chest? Or maybe she was just permanently wet now?

Kotonoha put on a grey tank top. She could see her hard nipples protruding through it.

Maybe she should wear pyjamas instead?

The only problem being she had no pyjamas with her.

“Kotonoha? Are you finished?”

“Ah, uhm… you…I…” 

“I’ll take that as a no,” he said.

“No I’m, uhm… could you do me a little favor?”

“Sure. What is it?”

“Could you close your eyes when I come out?”

“Uhm, okay.”

She slowly opened the door. He had closed his eyes like she had asked him.

“I’ll be in your room,” she said. “The bathroom is free.”   
“Okay.”

She went past him to his room. Once there, she got under the covers.

Kotonoha was messing up again.

_ There is nothing to be embarrassed about _ , she told herself. Makoto would probably like it if he found out he made her wet. She certainly liked it if he got hard because of her.

But maybe he would like it a little too much. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to control himself anymore?

But did she mind that? Maybe it was a good thing if he took a bit more charge. Without his instructions, she wouldn’t have been able to make him cum.

Makoto entered the bedroom. He still had his clothes on.

He looked at Kotonoha. It was a two-person bed, but there was only one blanket, so they would have to share it.

“Uhm, are you wearing clothes?” he asked.

“I… what?”

“It’s just, the way you acted. It sounded like you didn’t want me to see something.”

“Oh, uhm, no, I’m… I’m wearing a tank top and panties.”

“Oh. Sorry. I’m just… looking for explanations for your behaviour.”

“No, no, I’m the one who should apologise. It’s only natural you search for a logical explanation. Unfortunately, it’s not a surprise for you.”

“That’s okay.”

“You can get in.”

“Well thanks for letting me get in my own bed.”

He stripped down to his underwear. Kotonoha tried not staring too much, but she couldn’t help but notice his muscles were stronger than she had assumed.

He got under the covers as well.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. “It just looked like you would be standing there forever.”

“Okay.”

A silence fell.

She reached out and found his hand. Their fingers interlaced.

“You don’t need to force yourself,” he said. “I understand you’re uncomfortable showing of… you know, skin.”

“You saw me in a swimsuit before,” she pointed out.

“The context is different,” he said. “A swimsuit is designed to be seen by people. Underwear is very different. And we’re alone now. It’s different if you’re in public and everyone is wearing the same.”

“I want to show you,” she said. “I really do, but… I just…”

“Whenever you are ready, Kotonoha. Don’t force yourself.”

“But… I…”

“Yes?” he pressed on.

“It’s silly.”

“Tell me.”

“I want you to touch them again. It’s silly, I know. I won’t show them to you, but I do want you to touch them.”

“That’s okay. I’m happy we’re moving forward.”

“But not fast enough. And the order is all wrong.”

“Listen very closely to me, Kotonoha,” he said, his voice very serious. “There is nothing wrong with you. We’ll move at whichever speed you’re comfortable with and whichever order you want. If you want to have sex before showing me your breasts, that’s fine with me. It’s not a race. I want both of us to feel comfortable.”

“But what about you? Is the speed you want not important?”

“Well what do you want me to do? I can’t  _ force _ my pacing upon you.”

“Yet I can force mine on you?”

He sighed. “There is a difference between doing something you’re not ready for and waiting to do something you are ready for.”

“Even so, you’re clearly getting the short end of the stick here.”

He sighed again. “I guess.”

“I’m selfish.”

“Kotonoha, that-”

“You don’t have to pretend. I know you feel the same way.”

He took a deep breath. “When you look back on it, was it really as scary as you assumed? Did you like what we did today?”

“I did. It’s… you’re right. It was scary at first, but once I did it, I was so glad. I hated myself for not doing it sooner.” She turned on her side and embraced him. “I should have let you touch my breasts way sooner,” she said.

“Hm.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie to me please.”

“We’ve done more than just touch your breasts. Maybe that’s the part you enjoyed the most, but…”

“Sorry. You’re right. I enjoyed giving you a hand too, Makoto-kun. It felt really good for me.”

“Okay.”

Her body was all hot and bothered again. Makoto lying so close to her and talking about these things made her body lose control. She was probably leaving a wet spot on his matress right now.

“I… I know I’m selfish, but I really want you to touch them again.” She pushed her breasts against his chest. Her need was incredibly big.

“Is it all about you again?”

“It’s… you make me…” she sighed. She couldn’t explain it. “Please just touch them.”

“Kotonoha-”

“Ah, sorry. I… forget I said that.” She turned around so her back was towards him. “Let’s just go to bed.”

That was really pushy of her. She needed to control herself better.

He sighed and embraced her from behind.

“Makoto-kun?”

His hand found her breast and softly squeezed it.

“Such a needy girl,” he said. “We’ll just sleep like this then.”

He kept his hand on her boob. Only the thin fabric of her top separated them.

“I love you, Makoto-kun,” she said.

“Kotonoha.”

“You don’t have to say it back. Just, keep holding me like this please.”

“I will.”

She smiled. “Good night, Makoto-kun.”

“Good night, Kotonoha.”


	14. Chapter 14

“Makoto-kun,” Kotonoha mumbled in her sleep. “Don’t stop.”

Her eyes opened.

Was she still dreaming?

She was being held in his arms. His hand was still on her breast, right where he left it last night.

The position of her own body came in more slowly.

Fuck.

Her hand was in her own panties again, rubbing away. 

“Hm.” Makoto shifted in his sleep.

Kotonoha pulled her hand out. It was coated in her own fluids. She quickly wiped them on her top.

She had trained herself not to touch, but clearly sleeping with Makoto’s hand on her breast had increased her urges. And she had been incredibly needy last night. She felt another wave of guilt when she remembered it. She had been very close to forcing herself upon him.

Kotonoha sighed inwardly. She had to focus more on him. She should be touching him, not herself.

“Hm.” Makoto yawned. His eyes opened.

“Morning,” Kotonoha whispered.

“Morning.” He squeezed her boob.

“Ye, Makoto-kun.”

“Something wrong?”

“No.” She shifted closer to him. “Oh.” She felt something hard poking against her butt.

“Sorry.”

“Is that because of me or does that happen every morning?”

“Depends. What are you gonna do if I say it’s because of you?”

“Well,” she touched him over his boxers. “If it’s my fault, I should take responsibility and fix it.”

He showed a half-smile. “Well then it is because of you.”

She turned around to face him. “Well then, please allow me to take care of it, Makoto-kun.”

“Go ahead.” He kissed her. As his tongue slipped into her mouth, her hand went down beneath his waistband. He wasn’t fully hard yet, but she suspected it wouldn’t be long.

He moved down to trail kisses along her neck.

She pulled down his boxers, careful not to hurt him.

His hand reached up and…

Oh, come on. 

He was touching her just below her boobs.

Kotonoha took his cock and jerked him off hard like he had taught her the other day, but he still wouldn’t touch them.

“Kotonoha-”

She kissed him again. Her tongue roughly pushed past his lips.

“Touch them,” she demanded. “Fondle my breasts.”

“Kotonoha-”

She grabbed his hand and pulled it upwards.

“That’s enough!” He broke free from her grasp.

She stopped her movements.

“What’s wrong?” she demanded. “Why won’t you touch me?”

“Because you’re hurting me.”

She was taken back by that. “I… what are you talking about?”

“Use your hand,  _ slowly _ . And focus on me for a change.”

“I don’t get it.”

“Just do as I say.”

She hesitantly slid her hand up and down. “It’s…” there was an unusual resistance. “It’s dry.”

“Yeah. And it’s not fully hard yet. You've got to  _ ease _ into it, it hurts when you do it that hard right away. Wake me up carefully.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’d have noticed that yourself if you focused on me.”

“It’s the frustration,” she said. “I can’t take it anymore.”

“You want to switch?” he offered. “Want me to put my hand in your panties and help you out?”

“No. That… it’s too early for that.”

“Okay. But then it’s not my fault you’re frustrated. I offered to help you out, you refused. There is nothing more that I can do. You won’t let me help you.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“You’re always sorry,” he snapped.

“I…” she looked away. Tears stung in her eyes.

She couldn’t even do this properly. Makoto-kun was right. She could be as frustrated as she liked, if she didin’t let Makoto help her out, it was entirely her own fault. And he should not suffer consequences of her mistakes.

“Ah, that… I didn’t mean to say it like that.”   
“No, you’re right,” she said. “No point in sugar coating it. I constantly want your attention, but only in very specific ways.”

“So like a cat basically?” He tried to lighten the situation.

Kotonoha didn’t laugh. “I’m a terrible girlfriend.”

“That…”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Don’t lie to me, Makoto-kun. You think so too.”

He sighed. “Okay, I won’t lie to you. You are pretty selfish. But I’m glad you’re at least aware of it.”

“Don’t touch me please,” she said. “I need to focus on you. This is all I can do to make it up to you. Don’t yield to me when I’m being pushy, Makoto-kun. I don’t want you to encourage that behaviour.”

“Okay.”

“I’ll make it better,” Kotonoha said. “I promise.”

She got under the covers. Kotonoha reached out with her tongue and tentatively licked him.

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath. “That feels so fucking good.”

“Do you like my tongue, Makoto-kun?”

“Yeah.”

She coated it all in her saliva. Luckily, Makoto couldn’t see her under the covers, so it wasn’t as embarrassing as she had anticipated.

Kotonoha moved back up to lie next to him. Now her hand easily slid up and down. 

“Better?” she asked.

“Much better.”

“Tell me if you want anything, Makoto-kun. Anything at all.”

“Well I wouldn’t mind feeling your tongue back down there.”

“Well…” that hadn’t been too bad, had it? In fact, she had really enjoyed the shivers she sent through his body with every flick of her tongue.

But… 

“Do I have to swallow it again?”

He looked confused. “You don’t want to?”

“I… well, the taste is… you know.” Would he be offended if she said she hated it?

“I won’t force you to do anything, Kotonoha.”

“You did last time,” she pointed out. Kotonoha was surprisingly calm about it.

Makoto’s frown deepened. “How so?”

“You ordered me to swallow it.”

“No I didn’t. What are you talking about?”

“But…”

“I told you I was gonna make a mess and you took it in your mouth.”

“And  _ then _ you told me to swallow it,” she insisted.

“No I didn’t. You did that on your own. I first said I would make a mess, then you swallowed it and then I told you you were amazing.”

“But…” she was only weakly protesting now.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Kotonoha. I would  _ never  _ force you to do something like that. If you wanted to, I wouldn’t stop you, but I wouldn’t force it upon you.”

“Yes, of course you wouldn’t,” she said slowly.

Had she imagined that?

It had been pretty out of character. Makoto had given her directions, but his voice had been kind all along. Then he had ordered her to swallow in a pretty direct and hard way and then he had been kind again. So maybe she had imagined that one command? After all, it was so different it wasn’t weird to assume it wasn’t real. And she had seen things that weren’t real before.

“Kotonoha? Are you okay?”

“No,” she said. “I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” he asked.

“I… we both remember different versions of what happened. I was certain you ordered me to do that.”

“But I didn’t.”

“I know, but still, that’s how I remember it.”

“That is very weird, Kotonoha. But you do believe me, right?”

“Of course. If you say you didn’t say that, then I believe you. But… where is the other version coming from?”

“I guess you made it up?” he suggested. “But why? It can’t be random, it must come from somewhere.”

“Yeah. There must be a reason behind it.”

“Were you afraid of something?” he asked.

“Well, yes. Now that you mention it. I wanted to spit it out in the sink, but I was scared you’d be hurt.”

“Oh.”

“Would you have been hurt?” she asked.

“Maybe. It was a very intimate moment for me and you running off to the kitchen would have kinda ruined the mood. And… psychologically speaking, you are rejecting me like that.”

“Exactly my thoughts. Since you didn’t tell me what to do, I filled it in myself.”

“Okay.”

“But I don’t want that,” Kotonoha said. “I don’t want to fill in the gaps myself. I want all my memories to be real.”

“Technically speaking you can’t prove any memory is real.”

She knew. That was Last Thursdayism. The belief that the universe was created Last Thursday. No one really believed it, but it was not possible to disprove it, because any evidence you brought up was simply created as part of the universe Last Thursday. All her memories from before could technically have popped into existence five minutes ago. There was no way to prove anything was real.

“Even so,” Kotonoha said. “I want to share the same memories as you.”

“Well that seems reasonable. But how are you gonna do that?”

“I don’t know.” Somehow, she had to get rid of her fear of displeasing Makoto-kun. But how?

A silence fell. A very long silence.

“Is it really necessary?” Makoto suddenly asked.

“Huh?”

“Well technically you came up with that phrase. You just believed I said it.”

“Yeah?”

“So would you really come up with something you don’t want to do? You wouldn’t intentionally hurt yourself, right?”

“Well…”

“Hm?”

“Nothing. Of course I would never hurt myself, that’s crazy.”

“So at some level, you must have secretly wanted me to say that.”   
“I guess that makes sense.”

So that would mean she secretly wanted to swallow all along? She just didn’t want to admit it to herself. Makoto was right. If she didn’t want it, why would she dream of him saying it? And why would she do it? If Makoto told her to jump of a bridge, she wouldn’t do it, right? Kotonoha was perfectly capable of refusing him, so if she hadn’t refused him, it had to mean she secretly wanted it as well.

“So really, nothing bad happened,” Makoto said. “Which one of us said it in the end isn’t really important. As long as both of us like it, it should be okay.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right.”

“Modest as always, are we?”

“Obviously,” he said. “So, where were we?”

“Let me give you a reminder,” Kotonoha said. She got back under the blanket.

He wasn’t hard anymore, but when she used her tongue, that started to change. She wrapped her hand back around him and slowly jerked him off while she licked the tip.

“Ah, now I remember,” Makoto said. “That feels really good, Kotonoha.”

“Tell me if you want anything, Makoto-kun.”

“Wrap your lips around it.”

She hesitantly did as he asked. She had done this before to swallow his cum, so it was no big deal.

Makoto put his hand on the back of her head.

“What are you-”

“Shh.” He gently pushed her down on him. “Let me guide you.”

“Uhu.” She hummed her approval.

Under his guidance, she bobbed her head up and down his… she might as well say it now: she was sucking his cock. Kotonoha may be innocent, but she was by no means ignorant. She had overheard plenty of girls talking about these things and several books in her personal library were so called ‘romance novels’ that didn't leave much to the imagination.

“Move your hand away,” he ordered.

Kotonoha hesitated for a brief second, but then did as he said. Makoto started pushing her deeper. The head was touching the back of her mouth now. Any deeper and she would start gagging. Makoto seemed to know this too, because he didn’t go deeper.

“That’s a good girl.”

Kotonoha felt a strong urge to touch herself between her legs, but she resisted it. This was about Makoto-kun. She had to focus on him. She had to prove to him she could be a good girlfriend.

He kept going for a while, until… 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.”

She hummed her okay.

He gripped her hair tightly and finished in her mouth.

Kotonoha kept it all inside. She didn’t want to disappoint Makoto-kun.

A shiver went through her. She still hated the…

No, wait, that wasn’t possible. She wanted it in her mouth, right? And she wanted to swallow it?

“It’s okay,” Makoto said. “You’re not a slut for liking this. Just accept your own desires, Kotonoha.”

Yeah, that had to be it. She was scared to admit to herself she liked it because she wanted to maintain the image of an innocent girl. But all evidence showed she wasn’t innocent at all. She was just waiting for someone to give her a little push. It was time to be honest and accept her own desires.

Makoto released her hair.

She carefully took him out of her mouth.

Makoto had released quite a lot of cum. She moved it around with her tongue to savor the taste. Then, she swallowed it. It went down on the first try this time.

There was still some leftover cum on him. She reached out and cleaned him with her tongue. When she was certain she had gotten it all, she moved back up and went to lie next to him.

“Did I do a good job?”

“Not bad for your first time,” he said with a satisfied smile on his face.

“Hm. So not good either?”

“It’s nothing. I just…”

“Hm?”

“Would like to look at you while you do it.”

“Oh, yeah, of course, I understand. Next time, okay?”

“Okay.”

He gave her a kiss.

“Can I brush my teeth first?” Kotonoha asked. “I feel bad about letting you taste it.”

“Sure. I think I’ll brush my teeth as well.”

They both went to the bathroom.

Kotonoha spend longer brushing her teeth, but Makoto waited patiently.

“So, where were we?” he asked when she was done.

“I don’t remember.”   
“Let me refresh your memory then.”

Makoto put his hands around her waist and lifted her up on the sink. His lips claimed hers.

She yielded completely under the kiss. Makoto could easily slip his tongue in her mouth. His hand went beneath her tank top and touched her bare breasts. An electrifying sensation went through her. Makoto had touched her chest before, but not directly.

She moaned into his mouth. Makoto found her nipples and twisted and turned them. It hurt a bit, but the pain only seemed to add to her arousal.

Kotonoha felt a strange urge to take off her top. She wanted him to take her, right here. She didn’t care it was her first time, she just wanted him to fuck her as hard as he could.

“Makoto-kun? Are you awake?” A voice called.

Makoto cursed under his breath.

“I’m in the bathroom,” he said.

“Well can you hurry a bit? I need to get to work.”   
“Coming.”

He opened the door and went out. Kotonoha followed him. She hoped his mom did not see her hard nipples, or the wet spot on her panties.

“We should get dressed,” Makoto said.

“Yeah.” Kotonoha took out her clothes from yesterday and a new pair of panties. Since she had slept here a few times, she always carried spare underwear and her toothbrush in her bag.

Makoto took out clothes from his closet.

“Uhm, would you mind turning around?” Kotonoha asked. It was very strange to ask him that when just a minute ago, she had almost taken off her top.

“Okay.”

He turned around.

Kotonoha changed into her clothes. Makoto didn’t peek on her.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I just…”

“It’s okay,” he said, without turning around. “Take all the time you need, Kotonoha.”

“It’s silly. I’ve done much worse than getting naked.”

“ _ Worse? _ ”

He turned to her.

Kotonoha turned blood red, and not because she only had her underwear on.

“I… I just meant…”

“Are you just doing these things because you’re afraid I’ll dump you otherwise?”

“No, no. I… I am afraid you’ll dump me, I mean, you have every reason to, but I… I’m doing… sexy things with you because I want to.”

“I’m not sure if I can believe that, Kotonoha. Lots of times it looks like you’re only doing it out of guilt or a sense of obligation.”

“I… I understand how it looks like, but I promise I’m telling the truth. I want to do sexy things with you.”

“But you don’t want to get naked with me?”

“I’m sorry. Just… I know it must be very frustrating for you. So… whenever you want to, just say the word and I’ll use my hands or my mouth to relief you. And you can… touch my chest whenever you want to. I know it’s not much, but it’s all I can give you, so please be satisfied with that for now.”

He moved closer to her. “Whenever I want?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Okay then.”

She let out a breath of relief. “Thanks for being so patient with me, Makoto.”

“No problem.”

She swallowed hard. “So weren’t we planning to go to the pool today?” She quickly changed the subject.

“Yeah, sure. Let me just get my trunks.”

“We’re gonna have to pass by my house to pick up my bikini,” Kotonoha said. “I don’t have it with me.”

“You could just swim naked,” he suggested.

“Y-You know I’m not ready for that. I’m trying but…”

“It was a joke,” Makoto said. “You can’t swim naked in a public pool.”

“Oh, yeah, of course not. Sorry, I was just confused for a sec.”

“Okay.” He put his bag over one shoulder. “Shall we?”   
“Uhu.”

They went outside and walked to the station. Sakakino Hills was on the way to her house, so it wasn’t that much of a detour.

At her stop, they got off and walked to her house.

“I’ll wait here,” Makoto said at the front porch.

“Okay. I’ll be right back.”

Kotonoha went inside.

No one was home. Kotonoha went to her room to pick up her bikini and a towel.

She put them in a bag and prepared to go out, but then she hesitated.

They had a private pool in the garden. Makoto had only been here once, so he didn’t know. She could just ask him to come in.

Her heartbeat increased. In a private pool, she could actually swim naked. She knew she would never dare doing that, but there was that exciting possibility.

Should she ask him?

Kotonoha went back out. Makoto-kun was waiting for her.

“Say uhm…”

“Hm?” 

“Nothing. Let’s go.”

“Okay.”

She facepalmed inwardly. She just didn’t have the confidence to ask him. She was too scared of what would happen when they were alone.

Both of them walked back to the station and got on the train.

“You’re quiet,” he said.

“I’m just thinking about some things.”

He said nothing.

They talked about unimportant things until they arrived at the pool.

“This brings back memories,” she said.

“Yeah.”

What was he referring to? Was it their second kiss? Or was he talking about how she had freaked out about her top getting loose and accused him of some stupid things?

She should make sure she only gave him good memories this time.

They paid for their tickets and went inside.

Kotonoha looked at the changing rooms.

She had an idea to give him a good memory.

“Kotonoha?”

“Huh? Uhm, nothing, let’s go change.”

“Uhm, okay.”

She quickly went inside a cubicle and closed the door behind her.

Stupid.

It was so simple. She just had to ask him to help her out with her bikini. It wasn’t hard. In fact, she had done it already in her dreams.

With a deep sigh, Kotonoha changed into her bikini.

Makoto was waiting for her outside.

“So,” he asked. “Where do you want to go first? Water slide?”

“Hoping to see me topless are you?”

“Well what’s the point if you don’t show me willingly.”

“I…” 

“Kotonoha?”

“Nothing. I’m just a bit tired, so can we do something calm?”

“Well I’ve got an idea.”

He took her hand and guided her to a pool.

It was a bubble bath. The water was very warm.

No one else was here, for now.

“Ah.” Kotonoha leaned back against the edge. “This is amazing.”

Makoto-kun went to sit right next to her. He put his arm around her shoulder.

Kotonoha put her head down on his chest and closed her eyes.

He moved his hand down and gave her breast a soft squeeze.

“Makoto-kun,” she complained. “Don’t do that. We’re in public.”

It was fine when they were alone, but he couldn’t do it in public. That was all wrong. Even if there was no one around right now.

“Do what?”

“Fondle my chest.”

“I didn’t do anything.”

She opened her eyes and lifted her head.

“Yes you did. I’m certain I…”

“Yes?”

“Sorry, I must have drifted off for a sec. It must have been the waves or something.”

“You’re worrying too much, Kotonoha. Just sit here and relax.”

“Okay.”

She put her head back down and closed her eyes again.

He touched her breasts again. At least, it felt like he did, yet she knew that was impossible. Makoto wouldn’t do that.

And even if he was doing it, she reasoned, he was allowed to. She had told him he could touch her chest whenever he wanted to, so that extended to public places as well.

Kotonoha quickly stood up. “Let’s go on the water slide.”

“Uhm, okay.”

They got out and walked to the highest water slide. The one that had gotten her top loose before.

Kotonoha waited her turn. It didn’t take that long.

“Let’s go together,” he suggested when they were up.

“Okay.”

She sat down between his legs. Makoto wrapped his arms around her belly.

When the light turned green, they went down.

After the first turn, they were in darkness.

Makoto’s hands slid up. They roughly grabbed her chest. At the same time, he softly bit her ear.

“Makoto-kun! What are you doing? Not here.”

“What do you mean? I’m not doing anything.”

“Yes you are. You-”

She reached up to touch her own chest. His hands were-

Still on her belly?

This was impossible.

Just when she tried to touch his hands, the sensation had vanished. She only felt her own hands on her chest. Makoto’s hands were back on her belly.

Had he moved them at the right time?

No, no, that was ridiculous. He couldn’t possibly have timed it that well.

The answer was pretty simple: his hands had never left her belly. She just desperately wanted him to touch her. 

But there were more appropriate ways to ask for that.

“Are you okay, Kotonoha?”

She swallowed hard. “Why aren’t you touching them, Makoto-kun?”

“What?”

“I would have thought a boy like you would take this opportunity to feel up his girlfriend. Am I not attractive to you?”

“You mean like  _ this _ ?”

His hands grabbed her chest (again?).

“I like it when you take charge, Makoto-kun,” she admitted.

“I like it too.”

“Don’t hesitate to touch me, Makoto-kun. I said you could touch them whenever you want to, and I meant it.” 

His hand slipped beneath her top and pinched her bare nipple.

“You’re mine,” he whispered into her ear.

“Yes.” She leaned back on his shoulder.

His lips claimed hers.

It was strange. Just how long was this waterslide? Shouldn’t they have been down there already?

They made a final turn and bright light assaulted them. Makoto quickly retracted his hands.

Water splashed in their faces as they slowed down quickly.

She immediately checked her top, but it was still in place. All the important bits were covered.

“One more time?” he suggested.

“Yeah.”   
They went back up.

It was pretty late when they left the pool.

“I had a lot of fun,” Makoto said. It was only a few minutes before their train would come.

“Me too.”

He leaned and gently kissed her.

She closed her eyes.

Suddenly, his hand reached up and rested on her breast.

They were in public. He couldn’t do this. She prepared to push him off her...

But…

What if she was being paranoid again? Maybe he wasn’t touching her breast at all? Maybe she would freak out again and hurt him even though there was nothing going on at all.

She didn’t want to hurt him. And he had been touching her breasts plenty of times before. At this point, she really had to stop freaking out.

As she was struggling, Makoto lowered his hand and broke off the kiss.

He smiled at her.

She tried smiling back.

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I… that was a good kiss.”

He smiled. “You want another one?”

“Uhu.”

He leaned back in and kissed her again.

His hand found her breast again.

Was she imagining things again? Makoto wouldn’t touch her breasts like that in public, it had to be her imagination.

She kept her eyes closed tightly.

Maybe her fantasies were taking over? Maybe she was suppressing her desires so much, they had started to leak out like this?

Her body felt hot. It had to be that. She desired him so much her mind made her feel these things. Secretly, she wanted him to touch her breasts but she didn’t want to admit it.

“Makoto-kun. Touch my chest, please,” she asked in between kisses.

“Are you sure? We’re in public.”

“Please,” she kissed him harder.

“Alright, if that’s what you really want.”

He reached up and fondled her breasts hard. Yes, this was real without a doubt.

“Is that okay?” he asked.

“Perfect. Thank you, Makoto-kun.”

“Whatever you want, Kotonoha.”

She kept kissing him as he touched her boobs.

They made out like that for a few minutes before he pulled back.

“No,” she protested. “Keep kissing me.”

“Stop being selfish,” he said, his voice was hard. “I did like you asked, now show some gratitude instead of demanding more.”

She lowered her eyes. “Sorry. Thanks for obliging my request, Makoto-kun.”

He said nothing.

“You’re hard again,” she noticed.

“I wonder how that came to be,” he said sarcastically.

“I can’t take care of it right now,” she said. “But I promise I’ll do it when we’re alone.”

“Okay.”

Their train arrived. Both of them got on it.

“Makoto-kun,” she blurted out.

“Yeah?”

“Can we… go swimming again?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

“I mean. At my home.”

“Your home?” He looked confused.

“We have a private swimming pool.”

“Oh. I didn't know that.”

“Well I forgot to give you a tour last time.”

“You can do that next time,” he assured her.

“So, do you want to come swimming?”

“Hm, on one condition.”

“Which is?”

“You have to swim topless.”

Kotonoha turned bright red. “Ye, Makoto-kun.”

“What? I’m swimming topless, it’s only fair you do the same.”

She swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Wait, what?”

“It’s okay. I’ll do it.”

“Hm. You promise?”

“Yes I promise. You’re absolutely right, if you swim topless, I should swim topless as well.” His logic made sense. Why should there be a double standard? Boys were swimming topless, so girls should do it as well. There was no reason to apply different rules to girls.

“We better do it when no one is home then,” Makoto said.

“Tomorrow afternoon should work. Kokoro has tutoring for math and my parents are working.”

“Okay. I’ll come to your house then.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“Me too.”

He leaned in and kissed her. Kotonoha wrapped her arms around his neck.

He moved to tongue kissing. Without asking, Makoto reached up with his hand and fondled her chest.

It didn’t even occur to her to resist. Makoto-kun could touch her chest whenever and however he wanted. She was simply happy with everything she got.

Kotonoha felt her own wetness seeping through her panties.

She could feel him getting hard. Kotonoha felt proud that she was the one causing him to get hard, but there was also some guilt. She had to do something about it. She was the one causing it, so she should fix it.

Kotonoha felt a strong urge to simply take it out right here and take care of it.

Makoto stopped kissing her.

“This is your stop,” he said.

“Oh.” She had forgotten they were on a train.

“See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

They shared one more kiss and then she got off the train.

Kotonoha walked home on her own.

She couldn’t wait until tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

Kotonoha opened her eyes.

Her hands were gripping the covers tightly.

Relief went through her body. She had been worried that all her training had been for nothing. But when Makoto wasn’t sleeping next to her, she could resist the urge to tou-… to masturbate. Now if only she had the same self control if he was with her. She had to make sure she improved, since Makoto would likely be sleeping next to her more often if things went well. And she had to stop being so needy.

She checked the time. It was still early, but she might as well get up.

Kotonoha got out of bed and took a long shower. She wanted to be clean for Makoto-kun.

After washing her hair twice and combing it meticulously, it fell down smoothly.

When she was done with that, she applied makeup.

Kotonoha went back to her room and checked her closet. She wouldn’t be wearing clothes for very long since they intended to swim, but even so, she had to look good. Makoto would see her clothes when he entered and he might stay a bit after they were done swimming.

She tried on a few things and eventually settled on a white crop top that hugged her figure tightly and a red skirt. She wasn’t used to exposing her belly button, but Makoto would probably like it.

When she finally got downstairs, everyone was already gone. She found a note on the kitchen table from her mother saying she would be home late, as usual.

Time for breakfast. She still had several hours left before Makoto would be here.

When she was done eating, Kotonoha took out an apron and put it on. In a drawer, she found the binder with all the recipes from her mom.

Making cookies couldn’t be that hard, right?

Even though she thought that, it took her most of the remaining time to piece something together. When she was done cleaning up, she laid down on the couch. She had closed her eyes for maybe ten minutes when the doorbell rang.

Kotonoha jumped up.

She quickly checked whether her clothes and hair were still okay and then went to the hallway to open the door.

“Hey beautiful,” Makoto said.

“Hey,” she said, breathless.

They kissed deeply.

“Come on in.”

She stepped aside so he could enter.

“You look good,” he said. His eyes roamed over her unusually exposed body.

“Thanks.” Kotonoha closed the door.

“I’ll take off my shoes,” he said.

“Hold on. There is something I need to do first.”

She moved closer and reached to open up the button of his pants. Then, she pulled down his zipper.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“I got you hard on the platform last time,” she said. “Later on the train as well. And I still didn't take care of it. I need to make it up to you. You’ve waited for way too long already.”

“You could at least ask me first,” he said. “And do you really want to do that  _ here _ ?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

He closed his pants. “You’re being needy again.”

She looked at the ground. She felt her face get hot.

“Look,” he said. “Let’s pretend this never happened. I’m gonna sit down in the living room. You pour me a drink and then ask me properly, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

Makoto took off his shoes and went to the living room.

Kotonoha went to the kitchen and took out some things.

He was sitting on the couch when she arrived. Kotonoha handed him his drink and put a plate of cookies on the coffee table.

“It’s homemade lemonade,” she said. “Do you like it?”

He took a sip. “It’s good.”

“I uhm… I tried making cookies as well.”

Makoto took one and tasted it. “Not bad. I can tell you put in a lot of effort.”

“I’m still bad at cooking.”

“But you’re improving.”

“Thanks. Can I… do it now?” She played with her fingers.

“That’s not how you ask for something, Kotonoha.”

“I’m bad at this,” she said.

“You just need to learn.”

“Can you… direct me a bit?”

“Okay. Come closer.”

She moved until she stood right in front of him.

“Now get on your knees and look up at me,” he said.

“On my knees? Why?”

“Fine, if you don’t want to do it. I thought yesterday you said you’d take care of it every time.”

“But, I thought you wanted it as well?”

“If this is the level of enthusiasm you have, I prefer taking care of it myself.” He stood up. “Where is the bathroom?”

“No, no. I’ll do it. Please, sit down again.”

“You don’t want to,” he argued. “You just feel like you have to because you’re afraid I’ll dump you otherwise.”

“That’s not true. I really want this.”

“Well convince me then.” He sat back down. “Get down on your knees,  _ now _ .”

Hesitantly, she got down on her knees. 

Makoto was right, she had to convince him she really wanted this. They would get nowhere if she only did it out of a sense of obligation.

“Now beg me properly.”

She looked up at him. “Can I… suck on it?”

“No,” he said. “Be specific and polite.”

She swallowed hard. “Can I please suck your cock, Makoto-kun?”

“That’s better. You’re starting to get there.”

“Please,” she continued. “I really want to make you feel good.”

“Hm.”

“Let me take care of you with my mouth, Makoto-kun.”

“Why? What do you get out of that?”

“I… it makes me feel good. I feel proud of myself when you moan and shiver and I feel like I’m being a good girlfriend.”

“What else?”

“I love the taste of your cum. I love having it inside of me. It’s a constant reminder that I’m taking care of your needs like a good girlfriend should.”

“Hm.”

“And…” she blushed even harder. “I like it if you take charge and show me how to do it. I want to learn how to improve and be a better girlfriend. I know it’s difficult to date me so I want to compensate by making you feel good, even if it’s only for a little moment.”

“You think a little blowjob can compensate for everything else?”

“No, of course not. But I want to do whatever I can. This is one of the few things I can do, so will you please let me do it?”

“Alright.” He leaned back. “Go ahead.”

She eagerly reached forward to undo his pants.

“Slowly,” he said. “Ease into it. And thank me.”

“Sorry. Thanks for letting me suck your cock, Makoto-kun.”

She slowly pulled his pants and boxers down until his cock sprang free. She was still a bit surprised at how big it was, even though she had seen it already.

Makoto had trimmed his pubes neatly, so they wouldn't be in the way.

Kotonoha briefly wondered what Makoto would prefer for her. It was inevitable he would touch her there eventually and she didn’t want to ruin it for him. He would certainly have some image of what…

She shook her head. Now was not the time to worry about that. She had to focus on making him feel good.

Kotonoha took his pants off completely so he would be comfortable.

She tried to ignore how incredibly wet she was from the begging. Kotonoha was almost certain that if she stood up now, she would have left a wet spot from dripping  _ through  _ her panties.

_ Focus _ , she told herself. This is about Makoto-kun.

Her boyfriend was reasonably hard already.

Kotonoha remembered she had to ease into it, so she started by taking it in her hand and leaving long licks up and down. He grew harder under that.

“There you go,” he said. “Look up at me.”

It wasn’t easy to keep looking up, but she tried her best. When he seemed to be getting bored of her licks, she wrapped her lips around the head and sucked softly. That earned her a soft moan.

Sensing she was doing alright, she started to push up and down while moving her tongue around him.

“Nice and deep,” he said.

Kotonoha pushed it deeper inside, but she couldn’t even take it halfway.

“That’s not deep,” he said. “Push it further.”

“I’m trying,” she said. Kotonoha took a deep breath and pushed down hard. Her throat protested and she was forced to pull back up.

Makoto sighed. “I’ll show you.” He collected her hair in a rough ponytail.

“No, please.”

“Open up, Kotonoha,” he said. “I’m trying to help you.”

“But,” she protested weakly.

“Do you want to do it properly or not?”

“I do, but-”

“ _ Open _ .”

Slowly, she opened her mouth.

Makoto pushed her down about three quarters of the way. She was gagging and coughing violently.

“Swallow,” he said. “Accept it.”

Kotonoha instinctively put her hands on his legs and pushed herself up to breathe.

Makoto pulled her hair back hard. It hurt badly.

“Don’t ever push me away like that,” he warned her. “It’s very disrespectful. I’m trying to help you, and you push me away.”

“I’m sorry,” she said.

It was really scary to see him like that. If this was real that is. Maybe Makoto hadn’t said anything at all and she was simply hallu-

“Hands behind your back.”

Kotonoha obediently folded her hands on the small of her back.

“Keep them there.”

He pushed her down again.

“When I tell you to take it deep,” he explained calmly. “This is how deep I want you do go, for now.”

“Uhu.” She struggled to stay calm. Her throat kept protesting. She tried her best to breathe evenly through her nose.

Finally, Makoto pulled her back up.

“Breathe,” he ordered.

Kotonoha breathed hard. Some spit dribbled down over her chin.

“Can you do it on your own now, or do I need to help you?”

“I can do it,” she quickly said.

“We’ll see.” He leaned back on the couch. “Continue.”

She got back down on his cock.

Kotonoha kept gagging and coughing, but she powered through it. If she didn’t do it properly, makoto would be angry at her. Or worse, disappointed.

On every turn, she had to push herself down really hard to force it as deep as it was supposed to go. Her eyes started watering quickly.

“That’s a good girl,” he praised her. Makoto patted her head.

She felt a surge of pride go through her body. This made it all worth it.

“You can have a short break,” he said. “Lick me down there for a while.”

She got off his cock and licked his balls. This was much easier.

He gave her about a minute respite before he ordered her to get back to work.

She continued blowing him for maybe three more minutes.

“I’m gonna cum,” he said. “Jerk it off into your mouth.”

She took it into her hand and jerked him off hard. Her tongue occasionally flicked at the sensitive head.

He orgasmed. Kotonoha felt it shoot into her mouth.

After three spurts, it slowed to a dribble. She quickly enveloped the head with her lips so she could suck it all out.

“Keep it in your mouth,” he said.

“Uhu.”

Kotonoha coaxed out the final drops with her hand and then released him.

“What do you want to do with that?” he asked.

“Can I please swallow it?” she begged. At least, she said something vaguely resembling this, since it wasn’t easy to talk with her mouth full of cum.

“Go ahead,” he said. “Swallow it. And then thank me.”

She gulped it all down. “Thank you, Makoto-kun. Your cum is delicious.”

“Good girl.” He patted her head again.

Makoto let out a satisfied sigh. He tapped the spot next to him.

Kotonoha got up on the couch next to him. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. 

It was quiet for a long moment.

“Was that okay?” Kotonoha asked eventually. “I tried my best. It wasn’t easy.”

“It wasn’t easy for me either.”

“For  _ you _ ?”

“You were struggling,” he said. “And I had to watch.”

“But…”

“I wanted to go easy on your, but you’re not gonna learn anything if I do. And you asked me to direct you.” He looked her straight in the eye. “It wasn’t easy to see you struggle, Kotonoha. I was scared I would overdo it.”

“It was fine,” she assured him. “I can handle it.”

She had never really considered how it was for him. But now that he said it, it made sense he was worried about her. Makoto was her boyfriend after all.

“If I overdo it, you have to tell me, okay?” he said.

“What do I need to say?” she asked.

“Hm. Let’s agree on a simple word. How about  _ red _ ?”

“Red?”

“You have to stop for a red light, right? You’ve never played Red Light/Green Light?”

She chuckled. “Really?”

“Well if you have another suggestion I’m glad to hear it.”

“Red is fine. Thanks for being so considerate, Makoto-kun.”

“Of course I’m considerate, I lo-…”

“Makoto-kun?”

“Nothing.” He turned away.

“You were gonna say it, weren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He stood up. “Weren’t we gonna go swimming?”

“Ye.” Couldn’t he just say he loved her?

Kotonoha sighed. “I’ll give you a tour of the house first, okay?”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha stood up as well. She took a little box from her pocket.

“Are those breath mints?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She put one in her mouth. “You want one?”

“Sure.”

He accepted one and put it in his mouth.

“Do you have those with you because of what you just did?”

“I don’t mind tast-… no, I  _ love  _ tasting your cum. But I figured you might not want to taste it yourself when we kiss.”

“That’s very considerate of you, Kotonoha.”

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Let’s see if it works, shall we?”

He wrapped his hands around her waist and kissed her. It was a very dominant kiss with lots of tongue action.

By the time he was done, she was a dripping mess. After pleasuring him with her mouth, she was so… horny, she could probably cum from kissing alone if he kept it up long enough.

Makoto licked his lips. “Yeah, it works. Well done, Kotonoha.”

She blushed. “It’s nothing really. Anyway, so this is the living room.”

He chuckled. “I noticed.”

“And you’ve seen the kitchen as well, so how about I show you my room?”

“After you, gorgeous.”

He followed her upstairs to her room. She was acutely aware that he could probably look beneath her skirt on the stairs. It was very short after all. And her panties were still wet. Luckily she had put on a black pair this morning, so it shouldn’t be super obvious.

“So, this is it.”

“It’s pretty big.”

“ _ That’s what she said _ ,” Kotonoha mumbled.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

“Nothing.” Kotonoha smiled.

He eyed her bed. “That looks like it can fit five people.”

“For all my boyfriends,” Kotonoha teased him.

“Oh, I thought I was the only one?”

“Oh come on. You really think you could satisfy me by yourself?”

“I could ask the same about you.”

“That…” Kotonoha swallowed hard. That was a little too close to-

“Hey, why so serious? I was joking, in case it wasn’t obvious.”

“Yeah, of course. Sorry, I was just… thinking about something.”

“You’re insecure?”

“Maybe. Hey, look at this.” She opened her walk-in closet.

“That’s a lot of clothes,” he said.

Kotonoha shrugged.

“I like that dress,” he said. He pointed to a red summer dress.

“Oh, you do?” She blushed slightly.

“Is that weird?”

“It’s my favorite one as well,” she admitted.

“Oh, I see. We have the same taste then.”

“Yeah. I think you are hot, you also think you’re hot.”

He chuckled. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

“I am,” she confirmed. “Uhm, would you mind waiting outside for a sec? I’m gonna put on my bikini beneath my clothes. Then we won’t have to come back up again.”

“Sure.”

He went outside and closed the door behind him.

Kotonoha stripped down. She put on her bikini top (even though she intended to swim without it). Hesitantly, she brushed her fingers over her pubic hair. Would Makoto want her to shave it off? She shaved her legs, but not between her legs.

She wanted to ask him, but it was a bit awkward to bring up out of nowhere.

Kotonoha put on her bikini bottoms. By the time she had put her skirt back on, they were already wet. But she reasoned bikini bottoms were designed to get wet anyway.

“Okay, I’m done.”

She showed him the bathroom as well. 

“Is that the pool?” he asked.

“That’s a bathtub,” she said dryly.

“Oh. Well it looks like a pool to normal people.”

“Do I detect jealousy there?”

“Of course not.”

“Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the house.”

She continued her tour. They ended at the inside pool.

They had a small outside pool, but there was also a large building at the back of the garden. There, they had a sauna, jacuzzi and indoor pool. There were a few lounge chairs around the pool and the ceiling was made out of glass to allow daylight to come in. 

“Just how rich is your family?” Makoto asked.

Kotonoha looked away, embarrassed.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” he said. “I’ll get changed.”

He took his swimming trunks from his bag and stripped down.

Kotonoha couldn’t help but admire his body. Makoto wasn’t super muscular, but there was something about him that…

“Makoto-kun.” She averted her eyes. Makoto was fully naked now.

“What? Oh come on, you’ve seen everything from up close already, haven’t you?”

“Yes, but… you caught me off guard.”

He smirked. “It’s very impressive, I know.”

“No, I was-”

“It’s not impressive?”

“ _ Makoto-kun _ .”

“Well is it it impressive or not?”

She sighed. “Yes, it’s very impressive. But I was wondering about something else.”

“Oh.” He finally put on his trunks.

“Your uhm… your hair.”

“My hair? You mean…”

“Yeah. You’ve trimmed it, didn’t you?”

“I have. It’s more convenient that way. You never know when a hot girl would come along.”

“And would you… say you had a girlfriend. Hypothetically speaking.”

He smiled. “Yes?”

“Would you want her to, well, you know what I want to ask.”

“I think I would prefer it if my girlfriend was hairless down there,” Makoto said. “It’s just, I don’t know, it-”

“You don’t need reasons,” Kotonoha said. “I just wanted to know your preference.”

“Not very Japanese of me huh?”

Kotonoha shrugged. “To each their own.”

It was silent for a moment.

“So, aren’t you gonna get changed?” he asked.

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

She made an arm crossing motion to take her crop top off and put it on a nearby lounge chair. Her fingers unzipped her skirt and let it pool down at her feet. She stepped out of it, picked it up and carefully folded it. Lastly, she rolled down her socks and put them on the pile as well.

“Uhm…” Kotonoha hesitated.

“Yes?”

“Do I really have to?” she asked.

“You promised,” he reminded her.

“But… it’s embarrassing.”

“How so?” he came closer and took her hand. “I’m topless, so why can’t you do the same?”

She felt a strange headache coming up.

Was her anemia playing up again?

“Kotonoha?”

“Huh? Ah, sorry. Of course, you’re completely right. I was just confused for a sec.”

She reached back and undid the strings of her top. Kotonoha put it away as well.

“Sometimes I get a bit confused,” she said.

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m always here to help clear things up.”

He studied her for a moment. “Did I ever tell you you are gorgeous?”

“Not nearly enough.”

They shared a deep kiss.

Kotonoha broke it off after a while.

“Okay, time to get wet,” she said.

“Huh?”

She gave him a shove.

Makoto lost his balance and fell backwards into the pool.

He came back up. “No fair.”

“Oh, poor boy.”

He got back out of the pool. “Time for you to get in.”

“Hey, wait.”

She tried escaping, but Makoto was much stronger than her. It wasn’t long before she was thrown into the pool.

Kotonoha kicked her feet hard until her head broke the surface. She brushed her wet hair out of her face.

Makoto joined her in the water. The water only came to her belly here. It was deeper on the other side though.

They kissed again.

Even though they had said they would swim together, there wasn’t much swimming involved. Makoto was more interested in making out. And she wasn’t about to stop him.

After only a few minutes, he was working her breasts, and her hand was inside his trunks.

“You’re hard,” he said.

“I wonder why that is.”

“I wouldn’t know,” she feigned innocence even though her hand was rubbing him hard.

“Kotonoha.”

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna kiss your breasts, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

He moved down and trailed kisses over her chest. It felt really good. Her desire increased even further.

She couldn’t stop herself from opening up his trunks and taking it out. She could give him a proper handjob now. It felt a bit strange to do it underwater.

Urged by her, Makoto started biting softly and sucking on her nipples.

If he kept going, she might orgasm from her breasts alone. 

“Kotonoha,” he said. “You’re gonna have to stop.”

She slowed down. “Are you getting close?”

“Uhu. We should get out of this pool.”

“Agreed.”

He pulled himself up on the edge on got out. From the edge, he held out his hand and easily pulled her up as well.

“What do you want me to do?” Kotonoha asked.

“I want you to use your breasts.”

“You mean…”

“It’s called paizuri, tit fucking.”

“I’ve heard of it,” she said. “But I’ve never done it.”

“Just, kneel down and put it between your breasts. It’s pretty straightforward.”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha sank to her knees and did as he asked. Her chest was so big it wasn’t hard to envelop him. She used both hands to push her breasts together.

Hesitantly, she moved up and down.

“There you go,” Makoto said. He matched her movements with his hips.

She quickly understood where the name ‘tit fucking’ came from. 

Would he do it so hard as well when they had real sex? Wouldn’t that hurt?

Kotonoha was surprised at how good it felt for her. She expected this to feel good for him primarily, but her breasts were so sensitive she got a lot of enjoyment out of the stimulation as well.

“It’s a bit dry,” he said.

“Hold on.”

Kotonoha took his cock on her mouth and bumped her head up and down a few times. Sloppy noises went through the room. When she took it out again, it glistened from her saliva.

“That’s better,” he said.

With the new lubricant, he fucked her breasts harder. At this point, he was just using her body for his own pleasure, and somehow, that made Kotonoha feel even more aroused.

“I’m gonna cum,” he said. “Open your mouth.”

“Huh? Ah, sorry.”

Kotonoha quickly opened her mouth just as he exploded.

She was a bit too late. One rope of cum spurted over her left cheek before she could lower her lips over his dick.

The rest went all in her mouth.

She sucked him for a bit until he was getting soft again and slipped out of her mouth. Then, she showed him the cum she had collected.

“Good girl,” he said. “Make it disappear.”

With a sense of pride, she swallowed it all.

“Sorry about this,” Kotonoha said. She collected the cum on her cheek with her finger and licked it clean. “I got carried away and wasn’t paying attention. Next time I’ll take it all in my mouth.”

“Hm. Well I wouldn’t mind some variation.”

“Ye, you want to come on my face?”

“Or on your chest.”

“Unbelievable,” she fake-pouted.

“Would you be okay with that?”

“If that’s what you want,” she said. “It’s okay.”

She went to the chair with their clothes and took another breath mint out of her pocket.

She had just put it in her mouth, when Makoto-kun embraced her from behind.

“Hey.”

“I love you.”

She turned red. “M-Makoto-kun.”

“I’m not scared anymore,” he said. “I love you, Kotonoha.”

“So unfair,” she complained.

“How so?”

“You’re taking me completely off guard.”

“I always take you off guard,” he said.

“Okay, that’s true,” she admitted.

She turned around and they kissed. Her breasts pressed against his chest.

Their kiss ended after a long time.

Kotonoha sighed. “I need to check the time.”

She picked up her phone from the lounge chair.

“Kokoro-chan will be home soon.” There was still over an hour left actually, but she still had some things she wanted to get in order before her sister came home.

“Did you tell your parents I’m here?”

“Well uhm… not really.”

“I better go then.”

“Yeah.” She picked up two towels and handed one to him. “I uhm…”

“Don’t worry about it, Kotonoha. We better take things slow with your dad.”

“Okay. I-I’ll talk to him about inviting you another time. Officially.”

“Good.”

Kotonoha said nothing.

He finished drying off and got dressed.

“Hey. We’ll see each other tomorrow.” Makoto put on a new shirt from his bag.

Kotonoha put on her clothes as well.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she said. “I want to be with you, all day. I want to sleep with you every night.”

“We’ll get there,” he said. “Eventually. For now, just dream about me.”

“I do… I…”

“What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes when I dream about you I… I feel the urge to… to touch myself. Down there.” She felt relieved she had finally said it.

“I see,” he said slowly. “Does that happen often?”

“Uhm. Yeah. I try not to do it, but, sometimes it’s just…”

“When we slept together-”

“Please don’t ask.”

“I want to know,” he insisted.

“Y-You were still asleep.”

“Okay.” He nodded.

“Are you angry?”

“I want to touch you there,” he said. “It’s very frustrating that you don’t let me.”

“I know. I’m so sorry.”

“But if you do it yourself, isn’t it a bit…”

“Hypocrite?” she suggested.

“I don’t know. I guess. I mean… I think it’s a bit selfish of you. How would you feel if I watched porn? Wouldn’t it bother you?”

“No. It’s okay. You can do that if you want to.”

“Why?”

“I understand that I can’t satisfy you properly, so-”

“You’re too hard on yourself.”

“But we’re not with each other 24/7. I don’t think you should walk around frustrated for days if I’m not around to give you a hand.”

“Well I can’t always be there for you either.”

“But if you’re there, I won’t let you help me out. So it’s entirely my fault.”

“Yeah, if you put it like that.”

“Sorry I’m so bad at controlling myself, Makoto-kun.”

“Well I think you’re improving.”

“I am. It’s getting better. But when you were lying next to me, I just… lost control.”

“Okay. It can’t be helped I guess.”

“I just wanted you to know,” she said. “I promise I’ll do my best to control myself.”

“Well yes. I want to know.”

“Makoto-kun?”

“If it happens. I want you to tell me. Straight away.”

“O-Okay. I understand.”

“I really need to go now,” he said. “Your sister will be home soon. We can call tonight if you still want to talk about this, okay?”

“Okay.” He had taken it a lot better than she had anticipated. “I love you, Makoto-kun.”

“Me too.”

They kissed.

“You should go.”

Kotonoha walked him to the front door.

They shared one last kiss. A kiss that lifted her off her feet. Literally, since she jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. He carried her weight easily.

“See you tomorrow,” he said.

“Yeah.”

He put her down and left.

Kotonoha looked until he was behind the corner and then closed the door.

_ Focus, Kotonoha _ , she told herself. There was still stuff she had to do.

First she went to the bathroom to remove her makeup and put on different clothes. With an appearance like this, no one would believe she had sat here studying.

After she had changed into casual shorts and an oversized shirt and removed every trace of makeup, she went back to the pool.

She found Makoto-kun had left his shirt on the lounge chair.

Kotonoha put the towels in the dryer so her parents would think she had just taken a bath and hid Makoto’s shirt beneath her pillow.

As she still had time left, she went to the bathroom. She took a new razor and removed all her pubic hair.

She had never removed all of it before, but now that she did, she had to admit she kinda liked the way it looked. It looked cleaner, somehow. The only downside being that it itched a bit, but she knew she wasn’t allowed to touch herself there.

Kotonoha inspected herself a few times to make sure she had gotten it all and then returned to her room.

From a box under her bed, she retrieved the shock collar.

She hadn’t used it much lately. Things were going pretty well between them after all. Maybe she wouldn’t need it anymore?

Maybe better to save it for now, just in case.

Kotonoha put it safely away again.

Okay, everything was in order now. Her parents would never know Makoto had been here.

Kotonoha sighed. She might as well get started on her homework.


	16. Chapter 16

Her alarm clock woke her up way too early. She reached out blindly to shut it off.

Kotonoha let out a complaining noise. Right, today was Monday.

In her sleep, she had turned around on her belly and started rubbing her chest against the pillow. She was pressing her thighs together as well, desperately seeking relief.

When she realised this, she stopped immediately.

_ This would do _ , Kotonoha decided. It was silly to believe she could lie completely still while dreaming about Makoto-kun. As long as she had the self restraint to keep her hands above the sheets, it should be okay.

Although to be fair, she was not the one deciding this. It was up to Makoto-kun to decide this was acceptable or not. 

Kotonoha got up. She was lying on Makoto’s shirt. She wanted to return it to him, except… it felt so good to sleep with it. Makoto’s smell was still on it. If she closed her eyes, she could easily pretend like he was sleeping right next to her. And that made her feel safe. And made her usual dreams feel even better.

Kotonoha hid the shirt back under her pillow and got dressed. She still had lots of things to do.

On the train, she met Makoto. Kotonoha got on her tiptoes and gave him a deep kiss.

“I missed you,” she said.

“Me too.”

The train started moving. She reached for him to help her keep her balance. He smiled faintly.

“So, did you sleep well?” he asked.

“Not bad. I had to get up early.”

“Why?”

“To get ready.”

“Uhm, okay then,” he said. “By the way, I think I forgot my shirt at your house yesterday.”

“Yeah, you did.”

“Your parents didn’t find it?”

“I hid it before they came home.”

“Oh, okay then.”

“But I forgot it at home this morning,” she lied. “I’ll bring it tomorrow.”

“No problem,” he said.

There was a short silence.

“Are we having lunch on the roof today?” she asked.

“Sure. I have to get something at the cafetaria first though.”

“No you don’t.”

“I don’t?” He looked vaguely amused.

She gave him a little kiss. “I’ve taken care of it.”

“Okay then. Should I be worried?”

“Ye, I’m not  _ that  _ bad at cooking.”

“Hah, good one.”

“You’re so mean,” she fake-pouted.

The train arrived at the station.

They walked to school while holding hands.

“Well, see you at lunch then,” Makoto-kun said.

“I miss you already.”

They kissed quickly and went to their respective classes.

At lunch, she went to the roof immediately. She had to wait around a bit before he showed up.

“Hey.”

When they were done kissing, Kotonoha took out her lunch boxes.

“I made you lunch,” she said as she handed him one.

“Thanks.”

They sat down and started eating.

“By the way, uhm... there is something I need to tell you,” she said.

“Hm?”

“This morning I uhm… well, it wasn’t fully touching but…”

“But what?” he urged her.

“Well I was rubbing my chest against the covers and pressing my thighs together.” As she said it, she felt little tingles between her legs. Even though she wasn’t touching, just talking about it already got her body worked up.

“Hm.”

“Is that okay?” she asked, unsure.

“Look, I don’t want you to find things that are ‘not fully touching’ in an attempt to relief yourself without feeling guilty.”

“Yeah, I understand.”

“But we should be a bit realistic as well of course.”

“Uhu.”

“So, you’re forgiven if you tell me what you were dreaming about.”

She turned bright red. “Do I have to?”

“Yes. And I want all the details.”

She wanted to say she didn’t remember well, but it didn’t seem smart to lie about this.

“We were dancing.” Kotonoha looked away from him.

“Dancing?”

“Well, at first. Right here, on the roof. I was wearing my red dress.”

“And then?”

“Well at some point the music stopped and then you made me bend over and grab the fence.” She pointed to the grey fences at the edge of the roof. “I told you to stop, but you said I had to shut up and be a good girl. And then you uhm… you lifted my dress and took me from behind.”

“That’s pretty innocent.”

“I uhm, I wasn’t wearing panties.” she turned bright red. “And you did it pretty hard.”

“Hm.”

“And you kinda slapped my butt while you did it. Repeatedly.” She fidgeted on the bench.

“I see.”

“And uhm… when you were done you pushed me on my knees and…”

“Yes?”

“Came on my face,” she finished very quietly.

“Ye, I didn’t know you were that perverted, Kotonoha.”

She blushed heavily.

“So you like dancing?” he mercifully changed the subject.

“I love it.”

“Cool.”

His tone was strange. It sounded like he had said ‘good for you’.

“You don’t like it?” she asked.

“I kinda hate it, sorry.”

“But… I wanted to dance with you at the school festival.”

“That’s okay. But I warn you: I’m really bad at it.”

“You know,” she said. “There is someone near my house who gives dancing lessons. I could ask her to teach us.”

“The festival isn’t that far away. I don’t think we have the time to learn much.”

“Well there could be other dances in the future.”

“Kotonoha,” he said. “I said I didn’t like dancing.”

“But… wouldn’t you go? For me?” She didn’t like guilt tripping him like this, but now that he said it, she couldn’t let go of the idea. She really wanted to dance with him. And maybe have him bend her over afterwards as well.

“Well then I want something in return,” he said.

“Fine, what do you want?”

“I want you to learn how to give a striptease.”

“ _ What _ ?”

“It’s dancing related, isn’t it? I’ll go dancing with you, if you prepare a private dance for me.”

“But… that’s not the same thing,” she argued.

“How so? I do something you want, and you do something I want, looks like a fair trade to me.”

“But why does yours have to be so difficult?”

“I’ll let you pick your own song and outfit. And you can practise until you are comfortable doing it. I won’t push you. Take as much time as you want.”

“That…”

“Don’t tell me you’ve never dreamed of doing anything like that?”

“I-I haven’t,” she lied.

“Oh. Ye, less perverted than I thought.”

“So I can practise for as long as I like?”

She wasn’t seriously considering this, right?

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“And can I… can I keep on my panties?”

“No. I want a full striptease Kotonoha.”

“But…”

“Eventually you’re gonna have to take them off. Or were you gonna stay a virgin for the rest of your life?”

“No, but-”

“What’s the problem then? I just said you could practice for as long as you like. So you can do it after I’ve already seen everything. It won’t be embarrassing if you’ve done it before, right?”

“I guess so,” she said, still unsure.

“So what is the real problem then?”

“Nothing.” She couldn’t think of anything. If she could take as much time as she wanted, eventually, it would be no big deal anymore. If he had seen her naked countless times before, taking of her clothes would be easy.

“So, we have deal then?”

“Yeah okay.”

“Tell me,” he ordered. “Look at me and tell me what you’re gonna do for me.”

She looked him in the eye. “I-I’m gonna give you a striptease.”

Kotonoha felt herself getting more excited when she said it out loud. More wetness was dripping out of her. She wanted to rub her thighs together, but she didn’t dare to.

He smiled. “That’s what I wanted to hear.”

“But you’re going dancing with me, okay?”

“Okay.”

There was a short silence.

“Are you done eating?”

“Yeah. I’m not hungry anymore.”

About a quarter of his lunch box was still filled.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I know I’m terrible at cooking.”

“You tried your best.”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe you can still score some points with the dessert,” he suggested.

She frowned. “But I didn’t make a desse-” Realisation hit her. “Oh, I see.”

kotonoha reached out and rubbed him over his pants. He was pretty hard already.

“I prepared a dessert as well,” she said, trying to sound seductive.

“It looks delicious,” he said. “Can I see it?”

Did he mean…?

Makoto traced her fingers across her blazer. “Show me.”

“But… not here, Makoto-kun.”

“No one ever comes here.” He opened one of her buttons.

“Even so.”

“Shh. Just take it off Kotonoha.” He opened another button.

She sighed. “Okay then.”

Kotonoha took off her blazer. She removed her bowtie and put it down as well. Lastly, she took off her blouse to reveal her salmon colored bra. 

“Happy now?” she pouted.

“Almost.”

She looked down at her bra. “You can’t be serious.”

“I know you want to,” he said. “No need to lie to yourself.”

“We’re on the roof,” she argued. “At school.”

“Exactly. When have we ever been interrupted here, Kotonoha?”

“But…”

“If you’re really concerned.” He retrieved something from his pocket. “I can lock the door.”

“Why do you have the key?”

“Sekai asked me to hold it for her.”

“But the caretaker has a master key.” She was getting a bit desperate now.

“Why would he come here now?”

“Well, that…”

“Look,” he said. “I’m gonna lock the door, and then you’re gonna take off your bra, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

He went to lock the door and then returned. Kotonoha hadn’t taken it off yet.

“Come on,” he said. Makoto reached back and unhooked her bra.

“Ye,” she complained. “Makoto-kun.”

“You said you’d do it,” he reminded her.

He pulled the shoulder straps down and took it off.

She hid her chest with her hands. Getting naked at home was one thing, but doing it here on the roof was completely different.

“Why are you hiding them?” he asked.

“I’m just-”

“You love me, don’t you?”

“Of course I love you.”

“Well you’re not showing it.”

She said nothing.

“Hands away,” he ordered.

“But-”

He grabbed her wrists and forced them down.

“Stop being so difficult.” he was really annoyed now.

Makoto reached down and started sucking on her breasts.

“Makoto-kun. Don’t.” She tried stopping him, but he was still holding her wrists.

It felt good, yet… 

“Stop it, Makoto-kun,” she urged him. “Not there.”

He forced her hand down beneath her skirt. “Touch it.”

“I don’t want to.”

“It’s wet isn’t it?”

She looked away.

“If you don’t tell me I’ll have to check for myself,” he said.

“It’s wet,” she quickly said.

“You’re not touching it.”

She bit back her tears. Kotonoha reached and brushed her fingers past her panties. They were soaked, obviously. She didn’t have to touch to know that.

“Why is it so wet?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” She bit her lip.

“Because you’re enjoying this. You wouldn’t get so wet if you weren’t.”

“That… that’s not true.”

“Yes it is. Stop lying to yourself, Kotonoha. Your body is being honest.”

“But-”

“Keep touching it.”

She hesitantly rubbed her pussy.

Maybe Makoto-kun was right? She wouldn’t get so wet if she didn’t want this, right?

He sucked on her breasts again.

This felt good, right? He had done it before and it had felt really good then, so why should it be any different now? And her p-pussy was wet, so she was enjoying this, right?

He stopped sucking. Makoto opened his pants and took out his hard dick.

“You’ve teased me long enough. Get to work.”

“Makoto-kun. Can’t we talk about this?”

“Your mouth isn’t for talking right now.”

He grabbed a fistful of hair and forced her head down to his cock.

“Makoto-kun.” She kept her mouth closed. His hard cock pressed against her lips.

“It’s your fault it’s so hard, so take care of it.”

“But-” She kept trying to force her head back up, but he was too strong.

“You can’t just tease me and then do nothing. You took out your tits and got me all hard.”

“That-”

“Open,” he ordered.

“Can we just-”

“Don’t make me ask you again, Kotonoha. Open your mouth,  _ now _ .”

Slowly, she opened her mouth. Makoto was angry at her, so it was probably best to do as he said. It would be easier that way.

He pushed his cock in her open mouth. She reluctantly started sucking on it.

Makoto kept a handful of hair in his hand and forced her head up and down. He completely controlled the pace and depth. And he wasn’t going easy on her.

“Get on your knees on the bench,” he said.

She obeyed him.

“Now pull your panties down.”

She hesitated. No way she could do that.

Makoto forced her head further down. She gagged violently.

Kotonoha tried to pull her head back up, but his grip was strong.

She put her hands on his leg to push up, but then remembered something.

“Don’t even think about it,” he warned her.

Scared, she moved her hands away again.

“Panties down,” he repeated calmly.

She had no choice. Kotonoha reached beneath her skirt and pulled them down to her knees. She felt her own wetness run down her thighs.

“Good,” he said. He moved her head a bit up so she could breathe better. His dick stayed inside though.

“Now reach between your legs and play with your pussy,” he ordered.

This time, she obeyed instantly.

She was extremely wet. It was quite literally dripping.

Kotonoha rubbed her clit hard while he moved her head up and down his length.

Something was building inside of her quickly.

She was gonna do it. She was finally gonna do it. He was going to force it out.

Her orgasm bubbled up inside of her.

Makoto-kun sped up.

Kotonoha let out a muffled scream and came hard.

Several contraction waves went through her body. She had never imagined anything could feel this good.

Makoto pulled her up.

“You came, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said, breathless. “Thank you. Thank you so much.”

He pushed her back down again. “Keep going. Make me cum too. Selfish girl.”

He finally released her head.

She enthusiastically started sucking him.

Kotonoha forced her head deep down. She didn’t care about breathing. She had to make him cum as well.

After a solid minute of violent sucking, he grunted and filled her mouth with his cum.

She slowed her pace, but kept sucking. Only when he was fully soft again did she release it and move up.

Kotonoha swallowed. She had to do it a few times since there was so much of it.

“Thank you for the treat,” she said. “I love drinking your cum.”

“That’s a good girl.”

The bell rang. Perfect timing.

“Damn. I see you after class okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

He gave her a brief kiss and then got up. Makoto put his pants in order again and went to his class.

Kotonoha stood up as well and slowly got dressed again. She was late for her class, but she hardly heard the teacher’s complaints.

Kotonoha didn’t even try to focus on her classes.

What Makoto had done. She had said clearly said no, so that was technically ra-... no wait, that wasn’t possible. Makoto was her boyfriend. It was her responsibility to take care of his needs.

Even so, she had clearly said no. If he was her boyfriend, he should respect her decisions, right? Even though she had technically said she’d take care of it every time, so really, he had done nothing wrong. 

Makoto was frustrated, just like her, so could she really blame him for that?

But then again, if she forced herself upon him, he didn’t accept it, did he? He told her she was being selfish, yet he was being selfish himself.

Was it her fault? She had started it technically. First she had told him her dream and then she had started rubbing him over his pants and seducing him. Then, she had promised she’d take off her bra, before suddenly deciding she didn’t want to do it after all. So could she blame him for wanting to continue at that point?

And in the end she had clearly enjoyed it. She had even orgasmed. Her very first orgasm. So… 

Argh. Why was this so hard?

“Kotonoha?”

“Huh? Makoto-kun?”

“Class is over,” he said.

“Oh.” She looked around and found she was alone in her classroom. The afternoon had passed in a blur.

“Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Let’s go up on the roof and talk for a bit, okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She followed him up.

They stood near their bench, but didn’t sit down.

“At lunch,” she said.

“What about that?”

“Y-You, I told you to stop.”

“No you didn’t.”

“What?”

“At your home, we made a deal right? When I took things too far, you would use a safeword.”

She frowned. “Red.”

“And since you didn’t use it…”

“But… I didn’t think about-”

“Kotonoha,” he said. “It’s your responsibility to tell me if something’s wrong. I’m not a mind reader. I can only know what you tell me.”

“I told you to stop,” she insisted. Her headache was playing up again.

“You did the same thing in your fantasy, but you clearly wanted to continue.”

“Well, that… that’s true I guess. Even so-”

“And in the end, you enjoyed it, didn’t you? I didn’t know you could suck with such enthusiasm. And you came super hard, so you  _ must _ have enjoyed it.”

“I-I guess.” He had a point. She had orgasmed for the first time in her life, so she must have enjoyed it. You didn’t cum from things you didn’t enjoy.

“You’re too scared,” he said. “Once you’re doing it, it’s amazing, but you’re too scared to actually do it.”

“Sorry.”

She suddenly felt really guilty. Kotonoha had started accusing him of crazy things, but this was all her fault. There was a simple word she could have used if she really wanted him to stop. It wasn’t his fault she hadn’t done that. Makoto-kun couldn’t read her mind. And from her fantasy, he had obviously assumed she liked it if he took charge and told her what to do. She wanted him to do what she was afraid to ask him. What she was afraid to admit she liked. Makoto had simply done what she secretly wanted him to do all along.

“Just let me guide you,” he said.

“Please do.” She would be lost without his guidance.

“And if it’s too much…”

“I’ll use my safeword.”

He smiled. “I love you, Kotonoha.”

“Me too. I love you so much, Makoto-kun.”

He leaned in and kissed her.

She closed her eyes and got lost in the kiss.

Kotonoha was being concerned about nothing again. Makoto loved her and she loved him, there was nothing more to it. She had to stop stressing out all the time.

Their kiss turned into tongue kissing and touching each other.

“Damn, now you’ve got me hard again,” he said.

Hm. Now was a good opportunity to make it up to him.

“Have a seat, Makoto-kun,” Kotonoha said.

She kicked off her shoes while he sat down on the bench.

_ Here goes nothing. _

Kotonoha confidently popped the buttons of her blazer. She was dying inside, but she put up a confident mask.

“Do you mind if a practise a bit on you for my future striptease?” she asked, a hint of seduction in her voice.

“Not at all.” He leaned back with a smile.

“Thank you.”

She slowly took off her blazer.

“Shake your hips, Kotonoha.”

“Pervert,” she accused him. She still did as he asked though.

While moving her hips, she undid the bowtie and threw it on the ground.

Then, she teasingly opened the buttons of her blouse, one by one.

It was a lot more fun than she had thought. She loved the way Makoto looked at her. He was completely mesmerised by her movements. 

She was doing it. She was seducing her boyfriend. And she was enjoying it a lot more than she would have deemed possible.

But this wasn’t her. This was the Red Kotonoha from her dreams taking over. The girl she wanted to be.

Kotonoha opened the last buttons and slowly let her blouse slid down her arms.

Makoto shifted on the bench.

“Hold on,” she said. Kotonoha moved closer and opened up the zipper of his pants so he had some more room.

“Better?”

“Uhu. Keep going.”

She smiled seductively.

Kotonoha reached down and unzipped her skirt.

“Turn around,” he said.

“Hm, you want to see my ass?” Kotonoha asked playfully. She was surprised at her own seductiveness and confidence.

“Yeah. Bend over, gorgeous.”

She could simply let her skirt fall down, but instead, she kept holding it and lowered it slowly to her toes. Her butt was pushed out towards him.

She twerked a little before stepping out of her skirt and rising again.

Kotonoha threw her skirt on the bench.

Almost there. Only her underwear was left now. And her thigh high socks.

Kotonoha started dancing again. Her inhibitions were starting to break down.

“You took classes didn’t you?” he asked. “This is belly dancing.”

She blushed. “I had ballet.” Kotonoha started rolling her socks down.

She was happy he talked to her, since she had no seductive way to take off her socks.

“This isn’t ballet,” he argued.

“I told my mom I wanted something else, but she wouldn’t let me. She said it was inappropriate. So I looked up some other things myself.”

He smiled. “And with did you find?”

She blushed harder. “A lot of inappropriate things. I think I was looking for them on purpose because I knew my mom wouldn’t approve.” She put her socks with her skirt.

“You’re so perverted.”

“I-I’m not.” It didn’t help that she was just reaching back to unhook her bra while she said that. Kotonoha lowered both straps one by one. When it was off, she threw it at him. Makoto catched it easily.

She played with her breasts for a bit.

“Continue,” he said.

Kotonoha blushed heavily. Only her panties were left now.

_ You can’t stop now _ , she said to herself. That would ruin everything. All her effort would have been for nothing.

Kotonoha hooked her thumbs in her panties and lowered them.

Blushing heavily, she stepped out of them.

“Wow.” He stared at her.

“Please don’t stare so much.” She hid her crotch with her hand. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Nothing about you is embarrassing Kotonoha. Why did you take it off if you’re not gonna show me? Don’t be so cruel.”

“Sorry.” She put her hands on her side. “Is this okay?”

“Come a bit closer.”

She took a few steps on her shaking legs until she was right in front of him.

Unsure of what to do with her hands, she folded them on her butt.

“Open your legs a bit,” he said.

Flustered, she opened her legs. He could see it all now.

M-Maybe he would ask her to spread it for him so he could see better?

Makoto put his hand on her thigh.

She inhaled sharply.

“Shh. I’m not gonna touch it, don’t worry. I just want to have a look.”

“This is embarrassing.”

“You’ve seen me naked already,” he said. “It’s only fair I can see you naked as well.”

She felt her strange headache come up again.

“Y-Yeah, you’re right,” she heard herself say. “Of course.”

“You’re clean shaven,” he noted.

“D-Do you like it?”

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.”

“T-Thanks.”

Why was she so embarrassed? She had seen Makoto-kun naked before. This was simply the other way around, no need to get all worked up.

“You’re dripping wet,” he said. “Did you enjoy stripping for me that much?”

“Maybe,” she avoided. This was way too embarrassing.

“Or is it because you can’t wait to give me a blowjob again?”

Kotonoha got down on her knees. “Can I? Can I suck your cock please?”

This was less embarrassing compared to Makoto-kun inspecting her pussy.

“Rub your pussy,” he said. “I’m not hearing enough desperation in your voice.”

She put her right hand between her legs and rubbed away.

“Now ask again.”

“Can I… oh fuck… can I  _ please  _ suck your cock? I want it so badly.” She was drooling a bit.

Makoto took it out of his pants. 

“You can lick it.”

She eagerly reached out. The lovely salty taste spread in her mouth.

Her fingers rubbed away on a slow pace.

Kotonoha kept licking him until he was satisfied.

“Okay, you can take it in your mouth now.”

She mumbled a thank you and moved upwards to take him in.

Kotonoha gave her boyfriend a slow, deep blowjob.

Makoto leaned back with a satisfied look on his face.

“You’re a very good girlfriend,” he said.

Kotonoha kept sucking. She was incredibly turned on, both from touching herself and from sucking him. She didn’t know which turned her on more, but it wasn’t important.

“You want to fuck my tits for a bit?” she asked after a while. She couldn’t believe she had said it out loud.

“Okay.”

Kotonoha positioned his dick between her boobs and pressed them together.

It was all wet from her spit, so he could easily fuck her breasts.

He did it slow for a minute, but then he started to speed up. Makoto fucked her breasts harder and harder. She matched the speed of her pussy rubbing to his movements. Kotonoha was getting closer to orgasm.

Suddenly, he pushed further into her mouth.

“Suck it again,” he said.

She sucked the tip while rubbing him with her breasts. Makoto was big enough to use both.

He grunted. “Fuck. I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it on my face please.”

He smirked. “Okay. Lean back.”

He got up and positioned himself over her.

Makoto jerked himself off while pointing it at her face.

“Open your mouth,” he said.

She opened it and stuck out her tongue.

“Cover it completely Makoto-kun,” she begged.

“It’s coming. Close your eyes.”

She was just in time to obey. The first rope of cum covered her from her cheek all the way to her eyebrow. He covered her nose and other cheek as well. A tiny bit got on her tongue. A little reward for her good work.

The smell was really strong.

When he was done, he put it in her mouth.

She sucked him for a bit with her eyes closed. 

Makoto used his thumb to get the cum out of her eye so she could open it again.

“Well done,” he said.

She took out his cock and swallowed the tiny bit of cum. “Thanks, Makoto-kun. Did you enjoy that?”

“Yeah. That was amazing.”

“I love your cum on my face,” she admitted.

Kotonoha started rubbing her clit faster. She was really close.

“Kotonoha? What are you doing?”

“I’m just-”

“Masturbating right in front of me. How do you think that feels for me?”

“But…” she hesitantly slowed down. “You asked me to.”

“Yes,  _ during _ my blowjob. But it’s over now, so stop touching. Don’t get selfish, Kotonoha.”

“Ah, of course. Sorry.”

She removed her hand. Her pussy pulsed several times, eager to get more attention. She had been pretty close to orgasm. When he covered her face, she had almost come with him.

“If I tell you to, you can touch while blowing me,” he explained. “But otherwise the same rules as always apply. Just because I’m there watching you doesn’t make it okay. If anything, it makes it worse. How would you feel if I started masturbating in front of you?”

“I’m sorry. Giving you a blowjob just got me so horny.”

“That’s okay. But stay focused on what’s important, Kotonoha. As long as you don’t let me touch it, you’re not touching it either. Be grateful I let you touch for a bit during a blowjob.”

“I am grateful,” she said. “Thanks for letting me touch, Makoto-kun. It means a lot to me. I just… I hoped I could cum again.”

“It’s not my fault you didn’t cum. You were given plenty of time and you chose not to.”

“But-”

“But what? Should I hold of my orgasm until you are done?”

“No, no, of course not.”

“Don’t make this about you, Kotonoha. You’re being selfish again.”

“I-I’ll do better,” she promised.

Makoto-kun was right. If she was desperate enough, she’d have cum. If she didn’t, it just meant she wasn’t desperate enough and could handle a few more days without an orgasm. She was being selfish. She was pretending like she desperately needed one, but she clearly didn’t or she would have reached it much faster. And that made perfect sense. She had been alright for years without ever cumming, there was no reason why she would suddenly need multiple a day to be satisfied.

“If I feel like you’re more focused on touching yourself than blowing me, than I’ll have to completely forbid you from touching,” he warned her.

Kotonoha was angry first, but then she reconsidered.

“That’s your decision, Makoto-kun,” she said meekly. “If you think I lack self control and don’t focus on your enough, you shouldn’t let me touch.”

“We’ll see how you do next time.”

“Okay. Thanks for giving me another chance, Makoto-kun.”

“Now, I think we better go,” Makoto said. “Before they close the school.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.”

“You better start cleaning up a bit.”

Kotonoha took out her handkerchief. “Ye, you really covered it.”

“Well you asked me to.”

She cleaned up as best as she could.

When she was done, she stood up. She immediately got dizzy.

“Woah, watch out.” Makoto placed his hands on her waist to stabilise her.

“I just stood up too fast,” she said. “It’s my anemia.”

He lowered his hands again when he was sure she wouldn’t fall over.

Kotonoha collected her clothes again and got dressed.

When she put her socks on, she noticed her knees were red from kneeling on the stone for so long. She hadn’t noticed it hurt because she was too focused on him. Or herself.

“You okay?” he asked.

“My knees are a bit sore from kneeling on the stones,” she admitted.

“Hm. Well maybe kneel  _ on _ your clothes next time. And keep your socks on. That will hurt less.”

“Hm, yeah, that’s a good idea.”

She finished getting dressed and popped a breath mint in her mouth.

“So uhm,” she asked. “What did you think of my striptease?”

“Not bad for your first time. I think you’ll do fine on the real one.”

“The real one? I just did it, Makoto-kun. I stripped down completely.”

“I told you you could pick your own outfit and music. So was your choice ‘silence’ and ‘school uniform’?”

She smiled. “Yes. Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all. You know, I said I’d go dancing with you, but I didn’t say how many times or how much effort I would put in.”

“Hey.”

“Well if you sneak your way out of it, I’ll do the same. My effort is gonna match yours.”

“Fine, fine. This doesn’t count then. I’ll prepare for a proper striptease okay?”

“Okay. Then I’m looking forward to our first dance lesson. Just tell me when.”

“I’ll let you know. I need to ask her first.”

“Okay. Let’s go home.”

He held out his hand.

Kotonoha took it.


	17. Chapter 17

Kotonoha arrived on the roof.

Makoto was already waiting for her, which was unusual.

She walked up to him and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

Makoto grabbed her butt and forced her higher up.

They kissed for a while before she had to stop to catch her breath.

"I couldn't focus all morning," he said.

She touched his crotch. "All hard already?"

"Uhu." He kissed her again. Harder than usual.

"You can't wait until after lunch?" she asked.

"Probably not," he confessed.

"But aren't you hungry as well?"

"I'll eat during it then," he said.

"Okay then."

She took out his lunch box from her bag and handed it to him.

Makoto sat down on the bench and watched as she stripped down until she was naked (safe for her thigh-high socks). Kotonoha carefully folded her clothes and then knelt on top of the pile.

She leaned forward and took out his already hard cock.

"May I pleasure you with my mouth please?" she asked.

"You may."

Kotonoha smiled. "Itadakimasu."

She got to work.

"Itadakimasu," he repeated.

Makoto opened the lunch box and started eating.

"You're improving," he noted.

"Are you referring to my cooking or my blowjobs?"

"Both."

"Thanks." Kotonoha continued to suck him off.

"Practise makes perfect I guess."

She had actually practised both at home as well. In the evening, she had tried cooking some simple dishes for herself. She had also used the back of her toothbrush to train her throat so she could take him deeper. Kotonoha had done this almost every day, and it had payed off.

Today was Friday. Since Monday, she had made lunch for them every day and given him his 'dessert' afterwards. Today was the first day he couldn't wait until after lunch though.

Kotonoha was hungry too, but she focused on him. She could eat later.

"By the way," Makoto said. "I'm in the committee now."

"You are?" she got off his cock and licked his balls for a while.

"Tanaka broke his leg," Makoto explained. "So I'm replacing him."

"So we're together then?"

"Yeah. That will be fun."

She moved back up and started bobbing her head on his cock again.

"Hm." He rubbed her hair. "You can touch for a bit."

Kotonoha smiled. "Thank you. Everywhere?"

"Go ahead. But take it slow. Don't get carried away."

"Okay."

She put her right hand between her legs and softly rubbed her pussy lips. Her other hand worked her breasts.

Makoto-kun wouldn't always let her touch herself. He had allowed her to touch on Tuesday, but she had gotten carried away and her performance dropped. So Makoto-kun had told her to stop immediately and focus back on him. She hadn't been allowed to touch again until Wednesday evening (she had come over to his house then), and she could only touch her breasts that night.

On Thursday, she had been allowed to touch fully again. Kotonoha had asked him to pace her that day which allowed her to focus without worrying and cum herself.

She knew she could cum if she asked him again. If Makoto grabbed her hair and took control, she could focus on herself without trouble, but she felt bad about that. Kotonoha was supposed to take care of him, asking Makoto-kun to take over so she could cum herself was very selfish.

She should be making him cum by her own efforts, he shouldn't have to do it himself. Unless he really wanted to of course, but even then she shouldn't immediately go back to thinking about herself and her own orgasm.

"Go faster," he said. "I'm getting close."

She mumbled an okay and sped up. Her hands kept their leisure pacing however. She had to stay focused on him.

Makoto stood up.

"Where do you want it?" he asked.

Kotonoha usually wanted it in her mouth, but today she wanted something else.

"On my chest," she said.

He grinned. "Okay."

They moved to tit fucking.

Not long after, he orgasmed.

The first spurt was high enough to reach her chin, but the rest was all on her tits.

She rubbed it around with her hands.

"Hey," he said. "You're not done yet."

"Sorry."

She took him back in her mouth and cleaned him off with her tongue.

When he was satisfied, she let it slip out of her mouth and got back up.

Kotonoha took out a tissue from her bag to clean up, ate a breath mint and then got dressed again.

She sat down on the bench and took out her own lunch box.

"What's wrong?" Makoto asked. "Sorry, I didn't let you eat first. I was just-"

"No, no," she quickly said. "Don't apologise. You couldn't wait, that's okay. It's a compliment, isn't it?"

He smiled. "Yeah, it is. You're so hot I can't wait," he said. "But you look like something is bothering you."

"It's a bit silly."

"Tell me?"

"Do I say itadakimasu again?"

He started laughing. "Seriously?"

"What? I already said it, so does it still count? How long before you actually start eating can you say it?"

"Well if you're unsure you can just say it again."

"But don't the two cancel out then?"

"Well just say it twice then."

"That's a great idea. You're amazing, Makoto-kun."

"I know."

She said it twice and then started eating.

Makoto continued eating as well. He has only been halfway his meal before he had to stop to cover her chest in his cum.

This time, he finished it all. She was clearly improving her cooking skills.

"Oh, by the way," she said. "I called the woman for the dancing lessons. We can go on Sunday. If you're free."

"Yeah, I'm free."

It was silent for a moment.

"So," he said. "How is your…"

"Ye, Makoto-kun. You said you'd give me as much time as I needed."

"That doesn't mean I can't  _ask_ how far you are."

"I'm working on it."

"Okay. Glad to hear that."

She had been working on it a lot actually. Almost every night (save for Wednesday when she had slept over), she had practised dance moves in front of the mirror and searched for suitable music. She had also looked up various articles with tips on how to strip and browsed around for clothes.

He checked the time on his phone. "Lunch break is almost over."

"Oh, that's right," she suddenly said. "I forgot something."

She opened her bag and took out something. The shirt he had left with her last week.

"Oh, I had totally forgotten about that."

"Me as well," she lied.

Actually she had been sleeping with it every night, but by now, Makoto's smell was gone. And she was taking things a bit too far with holding it for a full week.

Makoto put the shirt in his bag.

The bell rang.

"I'll see you after school, okay?"

"Uhu."

They kissed each other goodbye and went to their classes.

After school, they went home together.

"I'll ask my dad tonight if you can come over another time," Kotonoha said on the train. She had been stalling this for too long.

"Then I'll call you tonight to hear how it went okay?"

"Okay."

* * *

Her phone rang. She picked up without looking at the caller ID.

"Makoto-kun?"

[Nope, sorry to disappoint you.]

" _Sekai_? Sorry. I just… I expected Makoto-kun."

[I see. How are things between you?]

"Really good. But you already knew that, don't you?"

[Yeah. Makoto is in a good mood lately. He can't stop talking about you.]

"So uhm, what does he say then?" She tried to sound casually.

[All kinds of interesting things,] Sekai teased her.

Kotonoha blushed. "That's private."

[What's private? So you have done it then?]

"Wait a second, he didn't tell you anything, did he?"

[He did. And now you've told me a lot more,] Sekai said.

"I didn't say anything."

[But your embarrassed tone says enough. Which is it Kotonoha? It can't be actual sex, he'd tell me that. Did he touch your breasts?]

"We are far beyond that," Kotonoha shot back. "But I guess for a virgin like you, having a boy touch your breasts would be huge."

[Yikes. I don't like the confident Kotonoha.]

"Too bad for you."

[I'm happy for you, Kotonoha. You two are a lovely couple.]

She blushed. "Thanks. So uhm, why did you call me?"

[Well it is about breasts, actually.]

"Come again?"

[I uhm… I need a new bra.]

"Oh. You're still growing?"

[I am,] Sekai said with some pride in her voice. [Just wait and see. I'll catch up to you.]

"Sure, sure."

[So, are you free for a shopping trip tomorrow? I could use some help. And you're the expert on large breasts.]

Kotonoha smiled. "Well I'd love to help you out, but I have to ask Makoto-kun first."

[You  _have_  to ask him?]

"Well maybe Makoto-kun wants to go on a date or something tomorrow."

[So that's more important than me?] Sekai asked.

"Obviously."

[Shall I go ask permission to borrow you for a day?]

"Please do. Oh, wait, never mind, he'll call me tonight anyway."

Sekai was quiet for a moment. [Uhm, Kotonoha?]

"Hm?"

[Never mind. Call me back after you've asked Makoto-kun, okay?]

"Okay."

She hung up.

That was weird. Sekai had sounded concerned near the end.

Fifteen minutes later, Makoto-kun called her.

[How are you, gorgeous?] he asked.

"I'm fine. I asked my dad." She couldn't wait to tell him.

[And?]

"He invites you to go to dinner with us, next week."

[Sounds fun.]

"Uhm, do you have a costume by any chance? Cause the restaurant is… well, it's pretty fancy."

[Ye, are telling me what to wear?]

"Let's make it a trade," she suggested. "What do you want me to wear?"

[I think you know.]

" _Makoto-kun_. I can't go naked to a restaurant."

He chuckled. [I was gonna say your red dress actually.]

"Oh."

[But I understand your perverted mind goes on tangents quickly.]

"This is all your fault," she argued. "You made me like this."

[I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.]

"Uhum, so, my red dress then?"

[And a bra. You can pick which one.]

"How nice of you to let me pick my own underwear," she said sarcastically.

[Your  _bra_ ,] he corrected her. [I didn't say anything about panties.]

"I can't go out without panties."

[Why not? They'd notice if you weren't wearing a bra because of the straps, but no one would ever notice you're not wearing panties.]

"Yes, but…"

[You pick my outfit, so I can pick yours, that was the deal.]

"Well I could tell you to wear no boxers then."

[You could. But I don't think you will.]

He was right about that, unfortunately. "Can I wear shoes at least?"

[Yes, heels.]

"Thanks," she said dryly.

[Oh, and I want you to put your hair up. That's also part of your outfit.]

She sighed. "Makoto-kun. You…"

[What's wrong?]

"I'm not your little plaything," she said, very serious. "You can't just order me around to do whatever you want."

[I can't?]

" _Makoto-kun_."

[Look, I don't know what the problem is. You're telling me what to wear but I can't tell you?]

"There's a difference. I'm telling you what to wear because my dad will be there and I want you to impress him. If he doesn't approve of you, he'll be annoying all the time. You on the other hand want me to dress up for your viewing pleasure."

She felt very strange.

Why was she arguing about this?

[It's entirely up to you,] he said calmly. [If you don't want to put in the effort…]

"I didn't say that."

[Yes you did. Clearly you don't understand the situation here. You asked me to come to dinner with your dad. Do I get  _anything_ out of that?]

"Well… that…"

[Exactly. Don't act like it's no big deal. You're asking me to do a very stressful thing. From what I've seen so far, it looks like your dad is gonna do a complete interrogation. And no matter what, he's not gonna like me.]

"Well, when you became my boyfriend you kinda accepted my family as well."

[That's absurd. I'm in love with you, your dad has no business with this. You are old and wise enough to make your own decisions, I don't need his approval.]

She said nothing.

[So instead of going somewhere fun with you, you want to go to dinner with your family. And you know what? That's okay. I respect your decision. I understand that your family is important to you. But I want you to understand I'm doing this for you, not because I want to. But how do you think it makes me feel if I do something like this for you, yet you won't do this tiny little thing for me?]

"It's not tiny," she argued.

[How so? That dress is your favorite, you said it yourself.]

She said nothing.

[Didn't you?] he pressed on.

"Well, yes, I did."

[And I presume you've worn heels before?]

"Yes."

[So there's no reason why you can't do it again then. You've worked on your hair for normal dates as well, haven't you?]

"Of course. But you said I couldn't wear panties."

[And that is a problem how?]

"It's embarrassing."

[Yes, because we'd get to the point where you have to lift up your dress and show everyone,] he said sarcastically. [No one will know except for me. And you've been naked for me every day this week. Sometimes more than once per day. You've masturbated in front of me and you're practising to give a striptease. But wearing a dress without panties is too much?]

"Well, I guess, if you break it all down like that, it doesn't sound like a big deal."

[That's because it is no big deal, Kotonoha. You're just blowing it up way out of proportion, like you always do.]

"Well maybe I overreact sometimes, but…"

[Not this time? How would you even know that, Kotonoha? If you could tell you're overreacting, you wouldn't do it, right? Or are you doing it on purpose?]

"Of course not."

[So you can't know unless I tell you. Well I'm telling you now: you're overreacting.]

"But…"

[It's okay, Kotonoha. It's no big deal. Just acknowledge your mistake and apologise.]

"But…"

[I'm waiting.]

"No!" She was suddenly very angry. "You're insane."

[Hey, hey, calm down.]

"I'm not overreacting!"

[I can tell,] he said dryly.

"You're just telling me I'm overreacting because you're not getting your way."

She was so done with this.

[Well if you ask me, you're the one getting your way, again. After all, I agreed to go to dinner with your dad, which is exactly what you wanted.]

"Well you certainly didn't waste the opportunity to demand something in return, did you?"

[Look, I'm not sure why you're angry at me. I just wanted to have some fun. But you took it super serious. If you had just said you really didn't want to do that, I would have let it go. But you started accusing me of all kinds of things. No, I don't think of you as a plaything. It hurts when you say that. I thought you were joking at first, but it looks like you actually believe that.]

"You always do this."

[Do what?]

"You twist things around to go your way."

[I have no idea what you're talking about.]

"We had sex on the roof every day even though I didn't want to do it up there."

[So what are you saying? That I made you do that?]

"Yes. You twisted and turned everything around until I believed I wanted to do that, but I don't."

[Are you hearing yourself?]

"I'm breaking up with you."

[What?]

"You heard me. It's over."

She broke off the phone call.

Kotonoha resisted the urge to throw her phone against the wall. Instead, she pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her hands around them. She put her head down on them and started crying.

After a while, her phone rang.

She tried to turn it off, but her fingers didn't find the right button. Annoyed, she ripped open the back and pulled out the battery. The sound stopped.

Kotonoha put her head down in her pillow and continued crying.

Somehow, she fell asleep. And there were no pleasant dreams this time.

* * *

Her eyes shot open.

Kotonoha caught her breath. That was an incredibly scary dream. She did watch horror movies a lot, but this was something else entirely.

Wait. What was this weird sensation around her legs?

Her entire body was covered in cold sweat, but around her legs it was much more. Way too much to be normal sweat.

She was used to waking up with wet panties, but this was different. This couldn't be from this, she wasn't even remotely in the mood.

Kotonoha threw back the covers.

There was a large wet spot on her bed. Was this water?

No. The smell assaulted her.

Pee.

Her face turned bright red.

How was this even possible? Her nightmare had been so frightening she had actually peed herself, like a little girl.

Kotonoha put her hands in front of her face, as if not seeing it would make it disappear.

This could not have happened. She was a grown-up, there was no way she was still bedwetting at this point.

Something must have caused this dream.

Guilt?

It had to be that. Her subconscious was sending signals.

Kotonoha stood up.

Her body hurt in various places. She had slept awkwardly on her belly. The metal of her bra had bit into her tender flesh. Her arm hurt from sleeping on it.

Kotonoha stripped out of her uniform and got into the shower.

When she had washed off the painful memory of peeing herself, she got dressed in a random outfit (no bra, her breasts were too sore). She returned to her room and took off the sheets. Along with her uniform, she threw it in the washing machine.

Only now did she notice it was dark outside.

A clock in the living room told her it was five 'o clock.

Kotonoha went to her room and picked up her phone. She inserted the battery again. Luckily it still worked. The phone booted up again and told her she had twenty missed calls.

Kotonoha swallowed hard. She called Makoto-kun.

He answered immediately. [Kotonoha? Are you okay?]

"Not really."

[Where are you?]

"Uhm, home?"

[Oh, okay, that's a relief.]

She frowned. "Where are you?"

[Train station.]

"Why?"

[Because  _someone_  decided to say she's gonna break up with me and then doesn't answer her phone all night. I understand if you don't want to talk to me, but you didn't answer Sekai either.]

"Sekai? Is she there?"

[Obviously. Hold on.]

She heard him hand over the phone.

[Kotonoha? Are you okay?]

"Why are you there?"

[We were worried you were gonna hurt yourself or something. So we're coming to your house.]

"Wait. There are no trains at night."

[The first train is in ten minutes.]

"So how are you at the same train station as Makoto-kun then? You live a lot further."

[After we called last night I went over to Makoto-kun. To talk about some things.]

"About what?"

[About the weather. Ye, Kotonoha, what do you think? About you, obviously.]

"Don't go talk with my boyfriend behind my back."

[Well sorry for being concerned about you,] Sekai snapped.

There was a silence on the other end.

[Kotonoha?] It was Makoto's voice again. [What did you tell her? She's angry.]

"Sorry. I was just… I wanted to know what you two talked about behind my back."

[Look, we're on our way to your house anyway, surely this can wait for a bit.]

"You don't have to come."

[We weren't asking. I have to hang up, the train is here. See you soon.]

"Hey-"

The phone call ended.

Some time later, she got a text message they were at her house.

Kotonoha opened the door.

Makoto and Sekai were both in their school uniform. They looked pretty tired.

"You shouldn't have come," she said.

"Well we're here anyway," Makoto said.

"Guess I'll make some tea then."

She stepped aside so they could enter.

Kotonoha went to the kitchen to make tea.

She returned to the living room. Both of them sat on her couch.

It was quiet for a moment while they drank.

"Sorry for making you worry," she said. "Both of you."

"We seriously thought you were gonna do something stupid," Sekai said.

"Like what?"

"Well, given how… when we called, I thought you sounded very dependant on Makoto-kun. And that worried me a bit so I went to Makoto-kun to talk."

"And then you called," Makoto said. "And I told Sekai about our conversation afterwards."

Kotonoha felt her ears burn. "Ye, Makoto-kun, that's private."

"I wanted a second opinion. And, well…"

Kotonoha looked at Sekai.

"Sorry to say it, Kotonoha," Sekai said. "But I think you're overreacting as well."

"So you're siding with him?" she tried to stay calm.

"If there's something you don't want to do, just tell him you're not comfortable doing it. But you started arguing and getting mad about it even though Makoto-kun was just having some harmless fun. And… well, he told me a bit about… other things you did and… it sounds like you did way more… explicit things than what he said. So I don't think you can blame Makoto-kun for thinking you would find it a fun idea as well. It's your fault for not communicating clearly."

She tried to find a good reply, but found nothing.

"And if Makoto-kun says you're overreacting," Sekai added. "It's a bad idea to overreact even more."

"But…"

"He has no reason to lie about that. If he says you're overreacting, it means he actually thinks that."

"But… he just said that because he wanted to get his way," Kotonoha insisted.

"If you really believe that," Makoto said. "Then maybe we actually should break up. I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me."

"No, I don't want to break up."

"But you did say that," he reminded her.

"That was… in the heat of the moment. I was angry."

"You had no reason to be angry. And it doesn't suddenly make it okay."

"I know that. I… I'm sorry. You're right, I did overreact. And I should have trusted you."

"Okay," Makoto said.

"Sorry for making you worry, again. I'm such a terrible girlfriend."

"Hey, come here." Makoto pulled her in for a hug.

She cried on his shoulder.

"Shh, it's okay." He rubbed her back.

They released each other after a long while.

"I'm sorry to you as well, Sekai," Kotonoha said. "I said some stupid things."

"That's okay. Do I get a hug too?"

Kotonoha smiled. She hugged Sekai as well.

"Glad we could settle that," Makoto said.

"Can I go catch up on my sleep now?" Sekai asked.

"Well actually," Kotonoha said. "My parents are away for the weekend and Kokoro-chan is staying over with a friend. So I have the house all for myself."

"Oh. Well then I'm gonna catch up on some sleep here, if you don't mind."

"No problem. I can show you the-"

Sekai didn't care apparently. She simply laid her head down on the couch and closed her eyes.

"Okay then," Kotonoha said. She smiled softly.

"I could use some more sleep too," Makoto said.

"Okay. Are you coming?"

She held out her hand.

Makoto took it.

She guided him to her bedroom.

"Just give me a minute," she said. "I need to put on new sheets."

"What happened to the old ones? Did you change them in the middle of the night?"

"Uhm… there was lots of sweat on them," she avoided. "I had some nightmares."

"Okay then."

Kotonoha finished putting on new sheets.

"Uhm, would you mind if I slept naked?"

"Not at all."

"Thanks."

She stripped down.

Makoto took off his uniform as well until only his boxers were left.

He turned of the lights and they both got into the bed.

"Hold me please," she asked. Kotonoha turned her back to him.

Makoto wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm so so sorry," Kotonoha said. "You're absolutely right. I completely overreacted. You were just having some fun."

"It's okay. That can happen."

"Sometimes I just feel like you always get your way."

"I'm not taking a train at this hour because I always get my way, Kotonoha," he said. "I'm not going to dinner with your dad because I want to. I'm not going to dance lessons with you tomorrow because I love dancing so much."

"I know." Even so, she couldn't shake off this feeling.

"You're selectively focusing on a few specific things. Our relationship is pretty equal."

"I just… sometimes I get confused. Sometimes it feels like you… like you're hypnotising me or something. That you're trying to change me into some kind of doll."

"Let's stay realistic please," he said. "Besides, it's inevitable that you influence your partner to some extent. You certainly influence me."

"I do?"

"Of course. Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"Well ask Sekai. She can tell you."

"I will," she said. "Anyway, sometimes I get confused and I start to think that you only want me as…"

"Is it about the sex?" he asked.

"We didn't even have sex yet."

"The sexual stuff then?"

She sighed. "Yeah. I feel like you're trying to… I don't know…  _force_ me."

"That's exactly why you have a safeword, Kotonoha. Yes, you're right, I'm pushing you a little. But that's because you ask me to. You ask me to take charge and guide you because you're insecure. And if I take it too far, you need to tell me. I would  _never_  force you."

"I know. I'm sorry. I should trust you."

"Yeah, you should. But I can't force you to trust me."

Kotonoha took a deep breath. "You… you can."

"Kotonoha?"

Luckily it was dark so she didn't have to look at him.

"Will you," her voice was very small. "Will you punish me please?"

Makoto said nothing.

She turned on the night lamp.

"If there are no consequences, my behaviour is not gonna improve," Kotonoha explained.

She stayed under the sheets.

"But…"

"I've made a mistake, and I want you to punish me for it. It's the only way I can learn and improve."

He was still apprehensive. "But punishing is a bit… extreme."

"I'm… I'm used to it."

"You're what? Is your dad-"

"No no," she quickly said. "I do it myself."

He frowned. "I don't get it."

"Hold on."

Kotonoha wrapped a blanket around her body and got out of bed.

She reached deep under the bed and retrieved a box.

Her heart was pounding in her chest. Hesitantly, she handed it over to her boyfriend.

Makoto opened it. His eyes widened.

"Is that… a shock collar?"

"Yeah." He was certainly going to break up with her now. But she just had to tell him.

"Where did you get that?"

She avoided his eyes. "Do I really have to say?"

"Never mind that. Are you using this on yourself?"

"Yes. When I," she swallowed hard. "When I do something wrong, I use it. It's been a while though."

"Ye."

"You must think I'm a freak. I completely understand if you want to break up with me."

"I never thought you would be so dedicated."

Kotonoha's mouth fell open. "W-What?" She looked up at him.

"Come here Kotonoha."

He embraced her tightly.

"M-Makoto-kun?" What was going on here?

"I knew you were trying hard to be a better girlfriend," he said. "But I didn't think you'd take things this far. How could I break up with you? I'm so proud of you, Kotonoha. The only thing this shows is that you are completely dedicated to improving yourself. That you truly care about being a good girlfriend. That you really love me."

"Of course I love you. I love you so much, Makoto-kun."

"Well this is proof isn't it? You wouldn't go this far for me if you didn't love me."

"So you don't think I'm a freak?" she asked.

"I think you are a hard working girl who will stop at nothing to improve herself. This only makes me love you more, Kotonoha."

"Makoto-kun."

"Are you crying?"

"Sorry. It's just… Such a relief. I really thought you would break up with me if I told you."

"I'll accept all of you, Kotonoha. No matter how weird you think it is."

She kissed him, hard. Her tongue pushed past his lips.

He let her make out with him for a moment and then gently pushed her off.

"Calm down a bit," he said. "I want to talk for a bit."

"Oh, yeah, of course."

"So, you've been using this? Is it working?"

"Yes. I primarily used it to stop myself from to-… from masturbating. And also to push myself to do more sexual stuff. And to make sure I don't freak out if you touch me."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I want to. This is very important to you. And… to me as well. I want to have sex with you, Makoto-kun. I'm just too scared to take the step. But every time I take a step, I'm so glad I did it afterwards. I need to be pushed, or I won't move forward. This helps."

"Okay."

"I hurt you tonight. So I want you to hurt me. I have to learn that this type of behaviour is not okay and will not be tolerated. You forgive me way too easily for all my mistakes."

"You want me to use this?"

"No, I…"

"Yes?" he asked.

"I would like you to spank me." Her voice was very quiet.

"Oh, okay. I don't mind. If that's what you want."

"But…" her voice grew more confident. "Look I want to be very clear on this: I want you to do it exactly as I tell you to."

"What do you mean?"

"Don't get carried away. And don't think you can just do this whenever you want to. Only when I tell you to. And how I tell you to."

"Is it really a punishment then?" he asked.

"This isn't gonna work otherwise. I could run away whenever I want to. There's no way you can force me. Besides, you don't want to force me, do you?"

"Of course not. I said that, didn't I? You really don't trust me, do you?"

"It's just… I'm scared. It always feels like you're trying to dominate me, and I don't know if I want that."

"But to me it feels like you want me to do that," he said. "You ask me to guide you. You ask me to spank you right now. You can't deny that that sounds pretty much like you want me to take charge."

"But you're always getting carried away," she said.

"Well if that's the case, then I'm sorry. I'm not doing it on purpose."

"Just, don't do it. Certainly not this time. I'm gonna freak out if you do."

"I'll keep that in mind. You're gonna use your safeword if need be, right?"

"Yes. Of course," she assured him.

"Good. Shall we get started then?"

"Hold on."

Kotonoha put on a shirt and a pair of yoga pants.

Makoto sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Okay."

She laid herself over his lap.

Makoto rubbed her butt.

"Can I?"

"Let's give it a try," she said. "Not too hard please."

He slapped her butt incredibly soft.

"Uhm…"

"Well, you said not too hard," he argued.

"You can go a bit harder." He was basically petting her at this point.

Makoto tried again. It was almost the exact same. "Better?"

"Maybe we should switch and I can show you how to do it?"

"No thanks."

"Look, Makoto, you-"

"You said don't get carried away. You're gonna get mad at me if I do it too hard."

"Just, do it as hard as you like. I won't get mad if it's too much."

"Okay." He slapped her really hard.

"Ah, fuck.  _Makoto-kun_."

"You said you wouldn't get angry."

"You're messing with me."

"Sorry. I'll do it good now." He gave her a reasonably hard slap on the other cheek. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, that's good. Continue please. Not too fast."

Makoto kept going. He gave her some breathing time between each slap and made sure to spread them out.

"You okay?" he asked, after about six of them.

"Yeah. Keep going please."

"Can I pull down your pants and-"

"No. I said don't get carried away."

"It was just a suggestion."

"Your suggestion has been denied," she said. "Keep going."  
"Yes, my lady."

Makoto continued to spank her.

"Are you going harder?" she asked.

"No. At least, I don't think so. Maybe you're getting sore?"

"Yeah. Just… two more, okay?"

"Okay."

He gave her two final slaps.

Kotonoha got up.

"Thank you. I needed that."

"Kotonoha I…"

"Yes?"

"Do you really feel like this is punishment? You directed everything."

"I just wanted the physical pain. I don't want you to dominate me and tell me what to do. I don't need a lecture, Makoto-kun, I'm not a child."

"Okay."

"Did you want that?"

"Well… I… I wouldn't mind."

She raised an eyebrow.

"I'm not gonna force my preferences upon you, Kotonoha. You have to do what you are comfortable with."

"Thanks, Makoto-k… Makoto."

She usually didn't feel like he respected her boundaries, but maybe it was just because she didn't state them clearly enough. Now she had, and he was clearly backing off.

"Okay," he said. "Shall we sleep a bit more?"

"Sure."

She got under the covers.

He lied down next to her.

"You said you would sleep naked," he reminded her.

"I've changed my mind."

"Okay, no problem."

He turned away from her. "Sleep tight, Kotonoha." Makoto turned of the light.

She sighed. "Just my shirt, okay?"

"Okay."

She pulled it off. Makoto shrugged closer and embraced her from behind.

His hand touched her breasts.

" _Makoto-kun_."

"What?"

"I can't sleep like that. You're too distracting."

He shifted his hand to her belly. "Better?"

"Yeah. Sleep tight, Makoto."

"Yeah."

Kotonoha didn't have nightmares this time.


	18. Chapter 18

Kotonoha woke up. She felt something hard poke at her butt.

“Hm. You awake?” a sleepy voice asked.

“Yeah. You seem to be awake as well.” She rubbed her butt against his erection.

“Well this is your fault,” he argued. 

“My fault?”

“If there wasn’t such a hot girl lying topless next to me, I wouldn’t be so hard.”

“Oh, poor boy,” she teased him.

“You should take care of it.”

“Not in the mood,” she lied.

There wasn’t a single morning when she didn’t wake up with soaking wet panties, but Makoto didn’t know that. And she wasn’t about to give him what he wanted straight away, even if she wanted it as well.

“I’m dying here,” Makoto complained.

“You’ll survive.”

“Didn’t you say you would always take care of it?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m not your sex slave, Makoto. I may have said that, but I felt guilty about some things. You’re twisting and abusing every word I said. Sometimes I want to do it and sometimes I don’t. You should respect that as well. I believe you also said you would never force me. So how does it work if I don’t want to do it? That would be forcing, wouldn’t it?”

“It feels like you’re mad at me,” he said.

“I’m sorry for the way I said it and the drama I caused around it, but I did mean it. I was very insecure before and you took advantage of that.”

“I-”

“No, please.” She turned to him. “Let me finish. I believe you. I believe that you did not do it on purpose. I believe that you love me and you really care about me. I understand that you’re probably insecure as well and you don’t want to harm me.”

“But?”

“But this has to stop. I don’t want to suck you off every day. I don’t think I should ask before I do it, I think you should just be glad I’m doing that for you. Because yes, I am doing it because you like it. I’m not getting much out of it myself. I don’t want you to tell me when I can or cannot masturbate. I don’t want you touching my breasts all the time. And if… if I don’t want to swallow your cum I shouldn’t have to. You’re controlling me too much, Makoto, it makes me feel uncomfortable. That’s why I freaked out when you asked me to wear that dress. It felt like you were trying to control me more.”

“Well, you-”

“No, please. I’m not blaming you for anything. I want you to understand that. I’m really sorry I got angry at you. And I can see how some things I said could have caused misunderstandings. It’s my fault for not communicating properly with you. That’s why I wanted you to punish me last night.”

He nodded.

“Just know that you’re gonna have to respect me a little more. I know you’re frustrated, but I’m not gonna go down on you on command, Makoto. You wouldn’t like it if I asked that from you, would you?”

“Well you don’t know that,” he argued. “You never asked me.”

“Oh, fine. Go ahead then. Go down on me, right now.”

“Fine.”

He touched the waistband of her pants.

“No,” she stopped him. “Just your mouth. And close your eyes, I don’t want you to see it. In fact, get on your back, I’m gonna get on top of you.”

“Stop that.”

She smiled. “Is there a problem?”

“I’m not your…”

“Plaything?”

He sighed. “You’ve made your point. Even so, if I’m in the mood and you do nothing, it’s very frustrating.”   
“I understand that. But I’m still not your plaything, Makoto.”

“That’s clear now, thank you. But you are my girlfriend.”

“So?”

“So instead of lying there saying you’re not in the mood, how about you suggest something else?”

“That…”

“It doesn’t have to be sexual or something,” he assured her. “Just do something that’s not lying there being hot and telling me I can’t do anything.”

She smiled softly. “Fair enough. So you want me to distract you a little?”

“Rather than enjoying my suffering.”

“Okay then.” She leaned in and kissed him.

He was very surprised at that.

Kotonoha quickly moved to tongue kissing.

Hesitantly, he wrapped his arm across her waist and pulled her closer.

As they made out, her hand slowly trailed down over his chest. She stopped at his belly button.

“Kotonoha.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.   
“I’m not your plaything either. Stop teasing me like that.”

“You want me to touch it?”

“You know I do.”

“Hm,” she pondered. “No.”

“Kotonoha.”

“Do it yourself,” she ordered.

“What?”   
“You heard me. Pull down your boxers and start masturbating.”

He paused for a second. “Fine. But you’re doing it as well.”

“Fair enough.”

She got on her back next to him and pulled down her yoga pants and panties. Makoto took off his boxers.

Kotonoha held his hand.

They both started to masturbate slowly. Kotonoha had to use her left hand since she held Makoto’s hand with the other one. 

They couldn’t see each other because both were under the blankets, but she could hear the lewd noises. Especially from herself.

“You’re pretty wet for someone who wasn’t in the mood,” he accused her.

She bit her lip. “I kinda enjoyed teasing you to be honest.”

“You’re a total sadist.”

“Do you mind?”

“Yes, actually I do.” He sighed. “But I guess there’s not much I can do about it.”

“You could stop complaining and start making out again.”

“I’ll settle for that.” He leaned towards her and kissed her again.

She let go of his hand. “You can touch my chest if you want to. But be gentle.”

“Okay.”

He started softly rubbing her chest with his free hand.

Makoto starting moving his kisses down to her neck.

“Hey, don’t-”

“Shh,” he shushed her. He moved down and started kissing her breasts.

“Ye. So demanding.”

Makoto sucked on her nipples.

Kotonoha suppressed a moan.

“You’re so hot.” He kept working on her breasts.

Her barriers were breaking down.

“Makoto,” she breathed hard. “I want to switch.”

“Huh?”   
“Our hands. I’ll jerk you off and you can…” she blushed heavily.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. But… be gentle okay?”   
“Always.”

She moved her wet fingers to his cock. Makoto brought his own hand over to her. He massaged her thighs for a bit and then moved to the middle.

“Oh, wow.” That felt incredible.

“You really missed out, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

He softly explored her. His fingers quickly found her sensitive spots. She started jerking him harder.

“Kotonoha, I’m gonna,” he grit his teeth.

She slowed down immediately. “Not yet. You haven’t gotten me off yet.”

He redoubled his efforts. 

Kotonoha threw back the covers. They could see each other completely now.

Soon, she felt her own orgasm approaching.

“I’m close,” she said.

“I’ve been close for the last five minutes,” he said.

“Let’s do it together while we kiss.”

“Okay. Ready?”

“I’ll count down,” she said as they both sped up. “Three… two… one…”

They moaned in each others mouth as they both came.

When they both stopped shaking, they slowed down their movements and then finally stopped.

Kotonoha looked at him.

“You made a mess,” she said.

It had spurted over his chest and belly. And a bit on her hand as well.

“Your fault.”

“Well it’s good you’re making a mess of yourself for a change. Now you know how I feel when you cum all over me.”

“I imagine it feels better for you.”

He embraced her.

“Hey-”

She sighed. Now she was dirty as well.

“Let’s take a shower together,” he said.

“Guess I’ve got no choice now.”

“Indeed.”

Makoto scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bathroom.

They showered together. It took a lot longer than was strictly needed.

When they were done, both of them got dressed. They went down to the living room where Sekai was still sleeping.

Makoto approached her. “Sleepyhead? Wake up, sleepyhead.” He shook her awake.

Sekai opened her eyes. “Too early,” she complained.

“It’s midday actually,” he said. “And I believe you wanted to go shopping with Kotonoha.”

“Can’t that wait until tomorrow?”

“I’m going dancing with Makoto-kun tomorrow,” Kotonoha said.

“All day?” Sekai asked, sceptical.

“Makoto wants to hang out afterwards.”

“Oh, I see. ‘Hang out’.”

“Well what was your plan?” Makoto asked. “Lazing around here all day?”

“Yes. But apparently the two lovebirds would like to be alone.”

“Indeed,” Kotonoha confirmed.

“Okay then.” Sekai got up. “Let’s go shopping.”

“Are you coming with us, Makoto-kun?” Kotonoha asked.

“He can’t come with us,” Sekai protested.

“If Makoto wants to come with us, he can,” Kotonoha said. “Or I’m not going either.”

“Kotonoha, I need a  _ bra _ .”

“I thought you were close friends?”

“It’s okay,” Makoto said. “I have some homework to catch up on anyway. I’ll wait here until you’re back. If that’s okay.”

“Of course. But if you want to come you can-”

“It’s fine,” he insisted. “Have fun.”

“Okay then. I miss you already, Makoto-kun.”

“Me too.”

They kissed.

From the corner of her view, she saw Sekai roll her eyes.

Kotonoha stretched the kiss for while to annoy her more.

Then, finally, she broke it off and went to the hallway to put on her shoes.

Sekai said nothing.

They went to the station and took the train to Sakakino Hills.

“I’m sorry,” Sekai said. “I uhm… I went to Makoto behind your back last night. But I was just… worried.”

“About what?”

“I just thought you were a little obsessed with Makoto. Your relationship seemed a bit… uneven.”

It probably was pretty uneven. “Yeah, I understand that it may have looked like that.” But that had changed now.

“You said you needed his permission to go out.”

“I don’t,” Kotonoha assured her. “I’m free to go wherever I want.”

“But it sounded like that,” Sekai argued. “Even so, I talked with Makoto and he was pretty clear. And regardless, it’s none of my business. He’s your boyfriend, not mine. You just seemed a bit insecure and I was worried Makoto was taking advantage of that.”

“Makoto would never do that.” Not on purpose that is.

Kotonoha did believe he had taken advantage of her insecurities, but he had done that unconsciously. Makoto wanted the best for her, of that she was completely certain.

“I know. Sorry. I just… I wanted to confirm for myself.”

“He’s your friend,” Kotonoha said. “You know he would never do that.”

“I don’t know. When he sees a nice girl he…”

“You should trust your friend. Have you apologised to him?”

“Uhm, no.”

“Well you should,” Kotonoha told her. “You don’t accuse your best friend of anything unless you have solid evidence, Sekai.”

“I’ll make it up to him,” Sekai said. “Don’t worry.”

“Okay.”

“Maybe I can give him a striptease as well?”

Kotonoha turned bright red. “H-He told you about that?”

Sekai smiled. “No. You did, just now.”

“What?”

“I had a suspicion from Makoto. And you’ve just confirmed it.”

“I hate you,” she said.

“Love you too, Kotonoha.”

Their train stopped.

Kotonoha got out.

“Hey,” Sekai said.

“You’re so mean,” Kotonoha complained.

“Come on, girls should discuss this. Besides, I want to help.”

“What?”

“Are you really gonna give him a striptease?”

Kotonoha looked away. “I promised.”

She wasn’t his plaything, not anymore, but a promise was a promise. Makoto had kept his word, she should do the same.

“And do you have an outfit? If you’re gonna do it, you should do it right.”

“I’m working on it,” she avoided.

“Oh, if only there was someone who was best friends with Makoto. Who knows exactly what kind of outfits he would like,” Sekai said. “Oh well, good luck, Kotonoha.”

“Hey.”

“What?”

Kotonoha played with her fingers. “Will you help me pick something out?”

“Of course. That’s what friends are for. But I thought you were mad at me? Wasn’t I mean? Didn’t you hate me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I would never say something like that. Can you prove that?”

Sekai chuckled. “Come on. But first you’re helping me pick out a bra.”

“Sure.”

They walked into Sakakino Hills.

* * *

 

“I’m home,” Kotonoha announced.

Makoto closed his notebook very fast. “Oh, welcome back.”

“Hm. Something to hide?” She put down her bags on the table.

“No.” 

“Then you don’t mind if I…” she tried to take the notebook but he pulled it away.

“Please respect my privacy,” he said.

“Privacy? I thought you were making homework?”

“So?”

“I won’t copy your math answers, Makoto.”

“This is my notebook,” he insisted.

“You’re weird.”

He looked at the bags. “So, buy anything interesting?”

She pulled away the bag. “Maybe.”

He smiled. “I thought you just went shopping?”

“This is…”

“Private?”

She turned red. “It’s a surprise. You can’t see it yet.”

“Okay then.”

She went upstairs to hide her bags. Then, she came back down.

“Are you gonna stay for the weekend?” she asked.

He shrugged. “Why not? I have to be here Sunday anyway for the dance lesson.”

“Yeah. So, what do you want to do?”

He shrugged again. “Whatever you want, Kotonoha.”

“Uhm, maybe we could watch a movie?”

“Sure.”

They relocated to the couch. They were sitting further apart than usual.

“Is there something wrong?” she asked.

“No,” he said.

“Okay then. Is horror okay?”

“Yeah, sure.”

She started the movie.

She must have done something wrong. Makoto seemed down.

“You could have come with us on the shopping trip,” Kotonoha said. “If you wanted to.”

“I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine.” She paused the movie.

With a sigh he shifted closer and took her hand. “Look, Kotonoha. I don’t know how to put this, but…”

“Wait.” She felt really scared all of a sudden.

“Kotonoha?”

“Can I say something first?” She had a guess what the problem was.

“Uhm, sure.”

“I’m really sorry about this morning.”

He paused. “How so?”

“Well I was… I was a bit dominant, wasn’t I?”

“Yeah. You were.”

“Was that uncomfortable for you?”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Yes. That’s what I wanted to say.”

“Sorry. I got a bit carried away. I just wanted to make it clear that I’m not your plaything.”

“You made your point. But it’s not the other way around either.”

She looked at him. “I’m fine with doing all these things for you, Makoto. I like making lunch for you every day. I like going down on you. It’s pretty fun for me as well. And I want to see you happy. But sometimes it’s a bit much and you need to back off a little.”

“Okay. I get that.”

“You know what, let’s forget about this movie for a while.” She turned off the tv.

“Kotonoha?”

“Can you get us drinks? I’ll be right back.”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha went to her room and got changed. She picked up the flashdrive she had prepared and went back down.

When she returned, she found Makoto sitting in the couch.

“Wow,” he said. 

Kotonoha smiled. “You like it?”

“Yeah.”

Kotonoha wore a plaid skirt in red and black and a white blouse. At the bottom it had been tied into a knot which exposed part of her belly. She had short white socks on.

“Thanks.” She picked up her glass and drank.

“Are you gonna do what I think you’re gonna do?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“So you did pick a school girl uniform after all?”

“Indeed.” She shoved the coffee table aside.

His eyes widened.

“Just lean back and watch me, Makoto,” she said.

“That was my plan.”

Kotonoha walked over to the sound system below the tv.

She bend over from her waist to insert the flashdrive.

Her skirt was pretty short so it was almost certain Makoto could see her red panties. Actually it was certain, she had tried this in front of the mirror.

Kotonoha pressed play and stood back in front of him.

The music started slowly.

She danced the way she practised before.

After some warm up, she very slowly started to undo the buttons of her blouse, one by one. Her sexy red bra was revealed slowly. Before she was even halfway, he started to shift in his seat.

She smiled. “Already hard huh? I’m nowhere near finished though.”

“You’re very good,” he said. Makoto opened up his pants to give himself some more room.

Kotonoha kept going. She was going incredibly slow. By the time the buttons were open and the knot untied they were already three quarters down the song. She spend the final part of the song taking it off fully and dropping it in front of him.

He frowned. “The song is over, you-”

A new song faded in.

“I’m prepared,” she said. “You didn’t think this would be over in a few minutes, did you? I’m gonna give you a proper striptease.”

“Please do.”

She continued. First, she took off her cute little socks and then she started playing around with her skirt. It was a long time before that was off as well. She was on the third song when she started on her bra. 

Sweat was covering her entire body. The music was getting faster as she progressed through the songs and her movements got wilder.

She kept her breasts hidden as long as possible before finally showing them at the end of the third song.

During the last song, she took off her panties.

When it was over, she knelt down between his legs, fully naked now. She was breathing pretty hard.

“Kotonoha, you…”

“Did you like that?” she asked.

“You must have danced for at least twenty minutes.”

She blushed. “Twenty-two. And twenty-eight seconds.”

“Wow.”

“I wanted to do it properly,” she explained.

“Well I’m very impressed.”

“Thanks. But I’m not yet done.” She reached and and rubbed him over his boxers. “I’d be cruel to get you all hard and then stop.”

“True. So what are you gonna do with that?”

“Well first I’m gonna get it all wet. And then I want you to stand up and fuck my breasts until you cum all over them.”

“Hm. I like that idea.”

“Let’s get started then.”

She took out his cock and started sucking. She took it very slow.

“Ye,” he said. “You’re not yet done teasing me, are you?”

“That’s right.”

She kept up her slow sucking for a full minute.

“Okay, I think it’s wet enough now.”

Makoto got up and positioned his cock between her breasts. She pressed them together hard.

“Go ahead,” she said.

That was all he needed to start fucking them hard. All the teasing had gotten him very worked up and he no longer had the patience for slow things.

He was being very rough, but she didn’t mind. Besides, he would hardly last two minutes at this point.

After about half a minute of steady fucking, he suddenly came. It came out which more force than usual. The first rope of cum shot up high and hit her left eye.

“Ah.” She rubbed her eye as he covered her chest.

“Sorry,” he said.

“It’s okay.” She slowly opened her eye again. It stung a bit.

Kotonoha took his cock in her mouth and suckled on it until it was soft again.

With a satisfying pop, she took it out of her mouth.

He showed a satisfied smile.

“Give me one sec, okay?”

Kotonoha hurried away to the kitchen and washed out her eye.

She heard him enter as well.

“Sorry.”

“No, no, you didn’t do it on purpose. It’s my fault for teasing you for so long.”

“Still, it must hurt to get it in your eye.”

She turned off the tap. “Well you can make it up by showering with me and cleaning it all off.”

“Sounds good.”

They relocated to the bathroom and showered together. Their second shower today.

“You were amazing, Kotonoha,” he said. “I’m very impressed.”

“Thanks. You’re still mad about this morning?”

“Did something happen this morning?”

She chuckled. “Not that I know of.”


	19. Chapter 19

Makoto got off the train.

“Hey.” He kissed her. “You look good.”

“You too,” she said.

Makoto had put on a suit. It looked a lot like the suit he wore in some of her dreams.

“Hm.” His eyes roamed over her body.

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha asked. She suppressed a smile.

“Nothing. I’m just wondering.”

“About what?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

“Well,” he said slowly. “You’re wearing your red dress, you put your hair up and you have heels on.”

Kotonoha bit her lip. “So?”

“So I can’t help but wonder what you’re wearing beneath that dress.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” she smiled. “You’ll find out when we get to the point where I have to lift up my dress and show everyone.”

He shook his head. “I guess if you didn’t wear panties, I’d have no way of knowing.”

“That’s right,” she confirmed. “Poor boy.”

“You know I’ll take revenge, right?”

“Oh, I’m scared,” she teased him.

“You should be.” He moved closer.

“In any case, my parents are waiting for you. We should go.”

“Okay.”

Makoto took her hand.

Together, they walked to her house.

Kotonoha opened the door.

“It’s no fair,” a voice said in the distance.

“Come on, Kokoro-chan,” another voice replied.

Makoto’s eyes widened. “Is that…”

“Yep.”

They entered the living room.

“Sekai?” Makoto said. “What are you doing here?”

“Babysitting,” Sekai said. “You look handsome.”

“I don’t need a babysit,” Kokoro said. She crossed her arms.

“Who else are you gonna play games with?” Sekai asked. “Come on, Kokoro-chan. Dinner is super boring. You have to sit still, wait hours for your food-”

“It’s a matter of principle,” Kokoro said. “I’m always left out.”

“When you’re older you can-”

“What do you think, Makoto-kun?” she turned to him. “You think I can come with you guys, right?”

“Well, uhm…”

“That’s enough Kokoro,” a new voice said.

Makoto turned. “Oh, good evening… uhm…”

“Just Manami,” she said.

“O-Okay, Manami.”

“Where is that husband of mine?” she went back upstairs.

“Stop gawking at my mom,” Kotonoha whispered.

“I’m trying to predict how you’ll look in the future.”

She smiled. “Nice save.”

To be fair, she didn’t really blame him. Her mom wore a yellow dress that showed a ridiculous amount of cleavage. Not to mention her bust was even bigger than hers. Manami’s bras were custom made because no store sold her size.

Not long after, Manami returned with her dad.

“Good evening, sir,” Makoto said. He held out his hand.

“We have to go,” her dad replied. “We’ll be late.”

Without looking at them, he walked out.

“Well that’s a good start,” Makoto mumbled.

She sighed inwardly. Looks like her concerns were on point.

They all got into the car.

Kotonoha ended up next to Makoto in the backseat. Her dad was driving.

“I can’t believe you asked Sekai to babysit,” Makoto said.

“Mom asked if I knew anyone and… well, you know. Sekai said she always wanted a little sister.”

Makoto put his hand on her thigh. 

“What are you doing?” she whispered.

“Just checking something,” he whispered back.

His hand slid beneath her dress.

“ _ Makoto. _ ”

“Careful. You don’t want them to notice, do you?”

She turned as red as her dress.

Sure, her parents were looking ahead and it was too dark to see them, but still, this was so wrong. He couldn’t do this here.

His hand moved even higher up. He was almost touching it.

“Please, Makoto-kun,” she pleaded.

“If you don’t want me to, why are you opening your legs?”

“No,” she clarified. “Please… do it.”

This was all wrong, and somehow, that made it feel right. She didn’t want him to stop at all.

“Do what?”

“You know what.”

“You mean  _ this _ ?” He moved his hand further up and touched her…

Kotonoha bit her tongue. She couldn’t make any sound or her parents would notice.

“Hm. No panties after all?” He slowly rubbed his fingers over her clit.

Kotonoha couldn’t reply. She was too busy controlling herself.

“Are you scared now?” he asked.

“Yes.” She was panting.

“Good.”

He pushed his middle finger inside of her. She cursed under her breath.

“So,” Manami said. “I heard you’re working on the committee as well?”

Fuck. She had almost forgotten her parents were still here.

Makoto didn’t stop though.

“That’s right,” her boyfriend replied casually. “Tanaka broke his leg, so I’m replacing him.”

“Sounds fun. Not the leg breaking, just that you’ll be together with Kotonoha.”

“Yeah. Don’t you think so, Kotonoha?” He turned towards her.

Reply. She had to reply.

“Y-Yes. R-Really fun.” She tried to make it sound like her boyfriend wasn’t fingering her pussy right now.

“Are you okay, Kotonoha? You sound weird.”

“I-I’m fine. I think I… I have a cold.”

“Actually you’re pretty hot,” Makoto whispered.

“We’re almost there,” her dad said.

Makoto retracted his hand. “Now my fingers are all dirty.”

“Sorry.”

Kotonoha felt a strange urge to…

She checked her parents. They wouldn’t notice.

Kotonoha bend down and took his fingers in her mouth. She was surprised at how much she liked her own taste.

“Kotonoha? What are you doing?” her mom asked.

“I dropped my earring.”

“It’s too dark, you won’t find it.”

“Got it.”

She sat back up and pretended to put her earring back in.

They arrived at the restaurant.

Her dad parked the car and they all got out.

Her legs were shaking a little. Makoto had really overdone it.

Kotonoha was glad when she could sit down again at their table.

“So,” her dad said. “What are your plans?”

“For what?” Makoto asked. “Dinner?”

“I mean long term,” he clarified.

“So, dessert?”

“Makoto,” Kotonoha said. “You know what he means. After school.”

“Oh, ye. I haven’t really thought about it yet. What about you, Kotonoha?”

“Oh, uhm… well…”

“Dear,” Manami said. “Don’t pressure them so much.”

“I just want to know who my daughter is going out with.”

They were interrupted by the waiter.

All in all, dinner didn’t go that badly. Her dad was critical the whole time, but her mom kept him in check as much as she could.

In retrospect, the dinner itself wasn’t that bad. The nightmares were much worse.

* * *

 

“Kotonoha? Hey, gorgeous.”

“Huh? Ah, sorry. I got distracted.” 

Right, they were getting things ready for the festival. It was only a week away, she had to focus.

“Well, was I the source of your distraction? Cause that would be totally understandable.”

“Of course you were.”

He put his box down and embraced her. His lips found hers.

Their kiss quickly got more serious.

Needing more, Kotonoha pushed him back.

He hit the racks hard.

“Aw, be careful.” Makoto rubbed his elbow.

“Sorry.”

“You’re acting weird, Kotonoha. Ever since dinner with your dad. It didn’t go that bad, right?”

“No, it’s… I’ve been having nightmares lately.”

“Hm. About what?”

“My dad. He always… he forbids me from seeing you, he grounds me. Those kind of things,” she said. “But it’s really no big deal.”

“He’ll come around. You’re worrying too much, Kotonoha.”

“Sorry.”

“Anyway, we should go.”

They picked up their boxes again and went outside.

“So your class is doing a haunted house?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Sounds fun.”

She shrugged.

“Something wrong?”

“Nothing,” she avoided.

“Tell me,” he insisted.

She stopped walking. “They’re letting me do all the work.”

“What?”

“It’s really-”

“I’ll fix it,” he said. “Don’t worry.”

He continued walking. 

“You really don’t have to,” Kotonoha said.

“But I will do it anyway.”

She smiled faintly. “Thanks.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“There’s something else.” She thought about the Break Room.

“Hm?”

“Actually, never mind.”

“Kotonoha,” he insisted.

“No, this time it’s really nothing.”

“Okay then.”

They reached their destination.

“Ah, there you are,” Setsuna said. “You sure took your time.”

“It wasn’t easy to find the storage room,” Makoto said. He put down the box.

“Fine, fine. We need more chairs as well.”

“On our way.”

He went back to the storage room with Kotonoha.

There were folding chairs here as well.

“This is gonna take a while,” he said.

“Yeah.”

They spend another hour moving things around and hanging up posters.

By then it was already pretty late. The rest could wait until tomorrow.

They walked to the station together.

“You wanna come over tonight?” Makoto asked her.

“Yeah, sure.”

“What do you tell your dad when you come over?” he asked.

“That I’m sleeping with a friend. Sekai is covering for me.”

“Smart.”

She doubted her dad was convinced, but what was he supposed to do? He knew she was with Makoto, but he couldn’t prove it, so it would just look like he didn’t trust her if he said something.

They went to Makoto’s house. As usual, there was no one home.

“Uhm, Makoto?”

“Hm?”

“Sorry again for uhm… pushing you against the racks. Does it still hurt?”

“Not anymore. But…”

“What?” she asked.

“How would you feel if I pushed you against a wall?”

She felt a jolt of excitement go through her body. “Ye, I don’t know.” Seduction crept into her voice. “Only one way to find out I guess.”

“True.” He pushed her against the wall and kissed her hard. 

Kotonoha put her hands on his back, but he grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. His other hand fondled her chest hard.

She kissed him harder.

It had been a while since they had last been alone. By now, it was too cold to eat lunch on the roof so they were forced to eat it in the cafeteria. And you couldn’t fool around much there.

Makoto pushed his knee up between her leg.

She found herself grinding on it while they tongue kissed.

This was really getting out of hand.

He moved down to kiss her neck.

Makoto still held her hands, so she was completely helpless.

Then, he finally released her and took a little step back.

Kotonoha was breathing hard.

“You okay?” he asked.

“No. Why did you stop?”

“Well I…”

She tried kissing him, but he held her off.

“Look, Kotonoha,” he said. “This is getting out of hand.”

“That’s the plan,” she said. Why couldn’t he just kiss her again?

“No, I mean…” he sighed. “I want to do it.”

“Me too.” She tried to kiss him again, but he stopped her.

“I mean  _ do it _ ,” he clarified. “Not just fool around a little, I want to… I want to have real sex with you.”

“Oh.”

“So while I still have some restraint left…”

“Yeah, I understand. I’m sorry.”

She sat down on a kitchen chair.

He sat down opposite of her.

“Why…” he hesitated. “Never mind, stupid question.”

“No, no. I understand you want to know.”

“But there’s no logical explanation, is there? If you don’t feel ready there’s nothing you can do about it.”

She sighed. “Can you ever feel ready? What does that mean? You’ve ever felt ready for an exam?”

“No.”

“But you have to do it anyway, don’t you?”

“This is different,” he argued. “You don’t ‘have to’. I mean, there’s no deadline.”

Well, the deadline would probably be Makoto’s patience.

“Even so…” she hesitated.

“I don’t want to force myself upon you. We’ll get there, eventually. Until then, we’ll just make do in other ways. Like we’ve done so far.”

“Okay,” she said. Kotonoha got up and sat on his lap, facing him. “Where were we?”

“I think you were just about to go down on me,” he said.

“Was I? I thought it was the other way around?”

“Oh, you’re right.” He lifted her up and put her on the table.

“M-Makoto,” she protested weakly.

Her boyfriend reached down beneath her skirt.

“Y-You can’t.”

He stopped. “Why not?”

“Your kitchen table is… we better go to the bedroom.”

“Okay.”

He lifted her up in his arms and carried her to his bedroom.

Makoto carefully put her down on his bed.

They started kissing again. Soon, he was on top of her. His hands slowly unbuttoned her blazer and blouse as they kissed. He only stopped kissing her when all the buttons were open.

“Hm.” He looked at her bra.

“Y-You like it?” she asked. She had picked it out for him.

“Yeah.”

“I hoped so.”

He fondled her breasts over her lacy white bra.

“Makoto?”

“Hm?” he kissed down her collarbone.

“Do you really want to… do that? You’ve never done it before.”

He looked up at her. “Do you want me to?”

“I… I don’t know,” she admitted. “It sounds a bit selfish.”

“Well you’ve done it to me quite a lot.”

“Yes, but… that’s different. You’re ready to have real sex, I’m not. So it’s really up to me to… I don’t know.” 

“I think I get what you mean,” he said.

“Okay.”

“So…”

“What if I did it first?” she suggested.

“How so?”

“Well, I’ll give you a blowjob and make you come and then you… return the favor.”

“Or we could do it at the same time,” he proposed.

She blushed. “I-I don’t think I’ll be able to focus then.”

She knew from experience she already had a hard time if she was touching herself so if he used his tongue on her, she would probably be completely gone.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said.

“So, what do you think?”

“It’s good. Now, are we gonna talk about it for three more hours or-”

She broke off his sentence by kissing him. “So needy.”

“In my defense, there is a sexy girl in my bed. And I can see her bra.”

She took off her blazer and blouse. “You want to see her without a bra?”

“Yeah.”

With a smile, she reached back and unhooked her bra.

He admired her breasts for a brief second and then started sucking on them.

“Ye, Makoto. It’s my turn first.”

She pushed his shirt upwards.

He let her take it off completely.

Kotonoha pushed her boyfriend down on the bed. She kissed his neck and then trailed her kisses down. She kept going down slowly. When she reached his belly, she undid his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers. His cock sprang free.

Kotonoha kept going further down along his pubes. She kissed the sensitive tip of his cock.

“You’re such a tease,” he accused her.

“Something wrong?” she asked. She kept kissing his cock.

“No, no. Just know that I’ll take revenge when it’s my turn.”

“Oh, scary.”

She moved to licking him.

He shivered every time she gave him a long lick.

Kotonoha chuckled. This was fun.

She kept going for a while and then finally wrapped her lips around his cock.

He let out a breath of relief.

Apparently, he thought she would stop the teasing.

Kotonoha sucked on the head for just a bit and then started licking again.

“Fuck.”

“Oh, poor boy.”

“You’re so mean.”

“True.”

She took him back in her mouth and swirled her tongue around the head.

Kotonoha kept this up for a bit but then finally started moving her head up and down. She did it very slow and only went down to just past the head before going up again.

“Fuck, Kotonoha.” He breathed hard.

She took him out. His dick twitched a few times.

“Kotonoha?”

She stood up from the bed. Very slowly, she took off her thigh high socks.

Her skirt and panties followed. She folded everything carefully and put them away before getting back on the bed.

“Unbelievable,” he mumbled.

“I don’t know what you’re complaining about,” she said. “There’s a beautiful naked girl going down on you.”

He didn’t reply.

Kotonoha continued her slow blowjob.

She eventually started to go faster and deeper, but every time he was about to cum, she backed off.

“Kotonoha, please.”

He was basically begging her now. Her boyfriend had been reduced to a helpless puppy.

“Please what?”

“You know what.”

With a smile, she started sucking him very fast.

He cursed.

Makoto only lasted ten more seconds before he suddenly came.

Kotonoha gagged on his cum. He had orgasmed without a warning and his cock had been pretty deep in her mouth.

She coughed a few times. Some of his cum spilled over her lips.

Kotonoha swallowed hard. She used her fingers to scoop up the spilled cum and licked it off. Then, she took him back in her mouth and cleaned him.

When she was done, she moved up and put her head on his chest.

“How was that?”

He was breathing pretty hard. “N-Not bad.”

She chuckled.

They lied like that for a moment.

“Makoto?”

“Hm?” he sounded very tired.

“Uhm… it’s… it’s your turn.”

“Oh. Yeah, of course. Right now?”

“Well… w-we agreed, didn’t we?”

“Well yes, but… I’m pretty tired from all your teasing. Can’t I rest for a bit first?”

“Yeah, of course. No problem.”

“Good.”

He wrapped his arm around her naked body.

She might as well rest a bit too.

Kotonoha closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 

“Kotonoha? Kotonoha?”

“Huh?” she lifted her head. “What’s wrong?” 

“That’s my line,” he said. “I was sleeping and suddenly you started moving.”

“Oh. Sorry, I had a nightmare again.”

“You would think that with- wait, it’s that late already?”

“Is that a problem?”

“Yes.” He sat upright. “My mom will be home in ten minutes. And I have to make dinner.”

“Oh. We better make sure she doesn’t find us like this then.”

“Great idea.”

They put on their clothes.

Makoto got started on dinner. His mom came home shortly after.

“Hey,” she said.

“Welcome back. Uhm, Kotonoha is here.”

His girlfriend waved awkwardly.

“No problem,” his mom said. “But clearly she distracted you from making dinner.”

“We were busy for the festival,” he said.

“Sure, sure. Do it safe, okay?”

“Mom!”

“What? I’m too young to be a grandmother.”

“That’s pretty hypocrite,” he said. “How old were you when you got me?”

His mom said nothing.

“Something wrong?”

“Uhum. So what are we having for dinner?”

Kotonoha smiled. At least his mom approved of them.

She sighed inwardly. Even with Makoto next to her, she kept having nightmares about her dad.

Makoto was right of course. Her dad would come around and she knew it. Even so, her nightmares kept coming.

“Kotonoha?”

“Hm?”

“I thought you were gonna help me with dinner?”

“Oh, of course.”

She helped him out.

After dinner, they watched a movie with his mom. She fell asleep halfway through.

“Always happens,” he said. “Can you pause it for a sec?”

“Sure.”

Makoto carefully picked his mother up in his arms and carried her to her room. She didn’t wake up. He returned a bit later.

“She must be very tired,” Kotonoha said.

“She works a lot at the hospital,” Makoto said. “It’s not easy being a single mother.”

“What about your dad?”

“Can we talk about something else?”

“Sorry. Shouldn’t have asked.”

The fact that Makoto lived with his mother spoke volumes about the relationship with his dad.

She pressed play again.

They watched the rest of the movie.

When it was over, they went to bed.

“Do you mind if I sleep only in my panties?” she asked as she got undressed.

“That’s a lot of clothing,” he said. “I would take those off as well.”

“Will you do the same then?”

“Uhm…”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

She got under the covers.

Makoto stripped down to his boxers and lied down next to her.

He had a single person bed, so they had to embrace each other all the time or they would fall out of it.

“Uhm, Makoto?”

“Hm?”

“You uhm… you still owe me…”

“I  _ owe _ you?”

“I just meant… you know. You said you would… return the favor.”

“One question,” he said calmly. “If I do, can you keep completely silent?”

“Well…”

“My mom is sleeping right next to us,” he reminded her. “You don’t want to wake her, do you?”

“No. But I’m not  _ that  _ loud.”

“Well, last time I used my fingers you were…”

“Okay okay, I get it.”

“It would just be really embarrassing if you woke up my mom with your moans.”

“Makoto.” She jabbed him in his stomach.

“Plus, she’s really tired. She needs her sleep. As do we, we have school tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“Another time, I promise.”

“Okay.”

“Good night, Kotonoha.” He kissed her.

“Sweet dreams,” she whispered back.

Kotonoha turned around so they could spoon. He automatically wrapped his arm around her. His hand rested on her chest.

It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

The nightmares were already waiting for her.


	20. Chapter 20

Kotonoha put her head down on his shoulder.

Makoto had come over to her house this time. All in all, it had gone pretty well. There was still some tension between him and her dad though.

Even so, Kotonoha couldn’t help but feel like… 

“It’s getting late,” Makoto said. “I should go.”

“No, stay,” Kotonoha insisted. She wrapped her arms around him.

“Yeah,” Manami said. “Why don’t you stay over tonight?”

The tension went up visibly.

“Stay over?” her dad asked.

“In the guest room I meant,” her mom quickly added.

“Hm.” Her dad rubbed his chin.

“Don’t be so hard on them,” Manami said. “You’re gonna have to-”

“Fine.”

“Huh?”

All of them were surprised at that.

“You’re right, it’s getting late,” her dad said. “He can sleep in the guest room.”

Before they could say anything, her dad stood up and left them.

“See,” Makoto said. “I told you he’d come around.”

“Yeah,” Kotonoha said, still unsure.

“Well, I’m going to bed as well,” Manami said.

The door closed.

“Too bad we can’t sleep together,” Kotonoha said.

“Don’t expect miracles right away,” Makoto replied. “Give him some time. We’re moving forward aren’t we?”

“Yeah.”

“Will you be okay by yourself?” he asked.

“I sleep alone quite a lot, Makoto,” she pointed out.

“I mean… Do you still have nightmares?”

“Y-Yes,” Kotonoha admitted. “But it’s okay.”

“If it gets really bad, you can come to me,” he said.

“But, my dad-”

“Won’t notice,” he finished for her. Makoto wrapped his arm around her.

“Okay. Thanks for being there for me.” She put her head down on his chest.

“No problem.”

They held each other for a while. He softly brushed her hair.

“You need to overcome your nightmares,” he told her.

“I’ll try,” she promised.

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“Hold on.”

She kissed him.

There was a certain desperation in her kiss. It didn’t take long before she was pushing her tongue past his lips. Her hands opened up his pants and slipped in his boxers.

Makoto didn’t touch her back though. He simply let her be.

“Makoto?” she asked between kisses.

“Hm?”

“That thing you promised last time…” 

“What thing?”

“Well…” he really didn’t remember?

“Look, I’m all for having some fun, but this is not the right place. What if your dad comes down to ask why we’re still up?”

“Yeah, you’re right. We should go to bed.”

“But if anything happens you come straight to me, okay?”

“I promise.”

They kissed one last time and then went upstairs to get ready for bed.   
After brushing her teeth, Kotonoha changed into a white tank top and panties. She got into bed. If Makoto had been with her, she would have probably slept naked.

It was really annoying to sleep alone when she knew Makoto was in the same house. But eventually, after lots of tossing and turning, she fell asleep.

She wasn’t sleeping very deep and after a few hours, she woke up again.

There was a sudden urge to pee.

Kotonoha knew resistance was futile, so she threw back the covers and went to the bathroom.

When she was done, she decided to go down to the kitchen. She turned on the lights. There was no one here, obviously.

Kotonoha filled a glass with water and drank deep.

That was better. 

“What are you wearing?”

Kotonoha almost dropped her glass. “D-Dad?”

She was mistaken. There had been someone in the living room. But the lights were off, so her dad must have been sitting in the dark.

“I feel like that Makoto-boy has a bad influence on you.”

Kotonoha quickly put down her glass on the counter.

Her dad moved closer. She noticed he was still fully dressed so he hadn’t even gone to bed.

This didn’t make sense.

Was she dreaming?

That had to be it. This was a dream. One of her usual nightmares.

“Dad, I’ll wear whatever the hell I like,” Kotonoha said. She tried to put steel in her voice.

“Is that how you talk to your father now?”

“Yes.” This was a dream anyway. “I love Makoto, and I don’t care what you think about me.”

“Kotonoha.” He put his hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me.” Kotonoha slapped his hand away.

She had to do something. She had to overcome her nightmares. 

He was really angry now.

Her father pushed her against the counter. His face was very close.

“I’m done with that attitude of yours.”

“Me as well,” she shot back. Kotonoha gave him a shove. 

He blazed with rage now.

She reached back. Her hand closed around something.

“Listen to me, young girl. You’re gonna-”

He gasped for breath.

Kotonoha’s eyes widened. She looked down and found she had stabbed her father with a kitchen knife.

She retracted it. Blood spurted out of the deep wound.

Her father stumbled back. His hand knocked Kotonoha’s glass of the counter. It shattered on the floor.

He fell down on his back and stopped moving. A pool of blood slowly formed around him.

Kotonoha was shocked for a moment, but then she remembered she was dreaming. None of this was real.

In fact, this was a good thing. She had overcome her nightmares. She had stood up against her dad. Well, not in real life of course, but if she could do it in her dream, she could do it in reality as well.

But why did she feel so…

Kotonoha put the knife on the counter. Her head was spinning.

Makoto. She had to go to him.

Kotonoha went up the stairs. She entered the guest room.

It was dark inside, but she knew the layout well, so it was easy to navigate to the bed.

Kotonoha touched the covers. She found his shoulder.

“Makoto? Makoto?”

“Huh?” She felt him move. “Kotonoha?”

They couldn’t see each other, but there was no need.

“Sorry,” she said. “I had a nightmare again.”

“Oh. No problem. Hold on.” She heard a click and the lamp on the nightstand turned on.

She shielded her eyes against the sudden light.

When her vision got clear again, she found Makoto looking at her with a very strange look on his face.

Was that… fear?

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha asked.

“Why,” he swallowed hard. “Why is there blood on your top?”

Kotonoha looked down. He was right. There was blood on her top. It was pretty obvious since her tank top was white.

“Like I said,” she explained calmly. “I had a nightmare.”

“Kotonoha,” he was very serious now. “Tell me what happened.”

She explained her dream. The longer she spoke, the more worried he looked.

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha asked. “I know it sounds scary, but it was just a dream.”

Something in the back of her mind told her there was something very wrong, but she resisted it.

He touched her cheek. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”

He swallowed hard. Then, suddenly, he slapped her cheek.

“Ah.” A tingling pain shot through her. “What was that for?”

“Not so loud,” he said calmly.

“Why did you hit me?” she repeated softly.

“To establish you’re not dreaming right now.”

“Well that’s obvious,” she said, annoyed.

“So where is the blood on your top coming from then?”

She looked down. It suddenly felt very cold in here. 

Kotonoha tried to speak, but no words came out.

“Kotonoha?”

She swallowed her fear. “W-Will you slap me again please?”

“Okay.”

He slapped her other cheek.

“Harder please.”

He did as she asked.

“Thanks,” she said.

Now she was absolutely sure she wasn’t dreaming anymore. She still felt the afterpain.

Kotonoha looked down again. The blood was still there. “T-This isn’t possible.”

“Stay calm.”

“But… if I wasn’t dreaming then…”

“I’ll fix this,” he said. “Don’t panic.”

“I…” she was starting to breathe harder.

He touched her shoulder. “In… and out.”

Kotonoha breathed on the rhythm of his voice.

She calmed down again.

“I’ll fix this,” he said once again.

“You can’t.” She looked down.

Makoto touched her chin and forced her to look at him. “Do you trust me?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Everything is gonna be alright,” he assured her. “But you have to do exactly as I tell you to.”

“O-Okay.”

He rubbed her tender cheek for a bit. “Take off your clothes.”

“N-Now? Makoto, I’m not-”

“Fine. Then figure it out yourself.”

He got out of bed and opened the door.

Kotonoha was frozen in place.

“Get out,” he said. “I’m going back to bed.”

“N-No, you can’t…”

“You’re the one who made this mess,” he said. “Why do I have to clean it up?”

She embraced him tightly. “Please. Don’t leave me alone.”

“I hope you understand how serious this situation is.” His voice was hard.

“I do.”

“No, you don’t. There is a dead body in the kitchen.”

“Don’t say that please.” She felt tears stinging in her eyes.

“I’m not gonna sugarcoat it, Kotonoha. If anyone finds out, you’re done for. The cops will never believe your story. Either you’re going to jail for murder, or they’ll declare you insane and you’ll be put in a closed ward.”

She bit back her tears. “I’m scared.”

“You have every reason to be scared.”

“Please don’t leave me,” she begged.

“I want to help you. But then you need to cooperate.”

“I will.”

“Then do as I say. Get undressed.”

“Okay.” Kotonoha pulled her top over her head and handed it to him.

He studied it. “We’ll have to get rid of this. There is too much blood on it.”

Kotonoha fidgeted.

“Kotonoha,” he spoke calmly. “What did I tell you to do?”

“Undress,” she mumbled.

“Well get on with it then. Give me your panties.”

Scared, she pulled them down and handed them to him.

He studied her panties carefully. “Hm, no blood at first sight, but I’ll wash them anyway to be sure. We have to get rid of all traces.”

“Okay.”

He took off his shirt and handed it to her. “Now, I want you to go downstairs and outside. Go to the pool and use one of the showers there. Wash yourself carefully. When you’re done, put on a bathrobe and meet me in the living room. Use my shirt to open the doors on the way there. Make sure you don’t leave blood anywhere.”

“I… I can’t-”

“Kotonoha. Look at your hands.”

She did as he asked. There was blood all over her hands and arms.

“You want to go to jail?” he asked.

“N-No.”

“Well then. Do as I say. Get rid of all traces. Make sure you wash yourself properly, I don’t want to see a single drop of blood on you when you return. I’ll be checking.”

“O-Okay.”

“And be quiet on the stairs. If anyone wakes up we’re screwed.”

Kotonoha nodded.

She went to the hallway. Slowly, she took the stairs down.

Kotonoha walked through the living room and opened the glass doors to the garden.

It felt incredibly scary to walk through the garden completely naked. Of course, she knew there wasn’t anyone who could see her, but she couldn’t help but feel exposed.

Kotonoha reached the pool. She used one of the showers outside the sauna. She didn’t wait until the water warmed up. Maybe the cold would wake her from this nightmare.

It didn’t, sadly.

When she was done, she got dried off and went to the living room.

There was no one there.

“Makoto?” she knocked on the door to the kitchen.

“Stay there,” he said. “I’m coming.”

“Okay.”

About a minute later he came in.

“Okay,” he said. “Drop the robe.”

“Makoto, this is really not-”

“The right moment to waste my time,” he finished. “That’s the last time you’ve argued with me, Kotonoha. Next time I’m going home and you can clean up your own mess.”

“No, please-”

“You have any idea what I’m doing for you here? I’m helping you get away with murder.”

“It’s not… I didn’t mean to…”

“The result is the same. And the cops won’t care about your intentions.”

She looked down. “I know that.”

“You want my help?”

“Y-Yes.” There was no way she could solve this on her own.

“Then do as I say.”

“Yes, Sir.” She didn’t know why she suddenly called him that.

Kotonoha loosened the knot and pulled it off her shoulders. It fell down.

She did not cover herself up.

“Why couldn’t you do this straight away?”

“Sorry, Sir.”

She realised what she was doing now. By calling him like that he felt more like an authority. Like she had no choice but to obey his orders. It was a trick to keep herself from arguing and second guessing everything he said.

Makoto carefully studied her body.

“Okay, raise your arms.”

She did as he asked.

“Now turn around.”

He moved her hair away so he could study her back.

“Okay,” Makoto said. “You’re all clean. You can put on the robe again.”

She slipped the white bathrobe on again and loosely tied the knot.

“What do we do now?” she asked. She hoped he had a plan because she had nothing.

“Where does your mom keep her car keys?”

“In her handbag. In the hallway.”

“Okay. Go to your room and get in the bed. Stay there.”

“Don’t leave me alone please.”

“There is something I need to do. When I’m done, I’ll come to your room. Just wait for me there.”

“O-Okay.”

“Don’t look at the time. Get under the blankets and don’t come out.”

She nodded.

“Is that understood?” he asked firmly.

“Yes, Sir.”

“Go then.”

She went to her room. Once there, she dropped her robe and got into bed naked. She pulled the blankets over her head and waited.

Somehow, it felt safer this way. She knew it was silly, but hiding beneath the blankets did help.

She had no idea how long he stayed away. But eventually, she heard the door open.

“Makoto?”

“Shh.”

He got under the covers with her.

She touched him. He only wore boxers.

“Turn around,” he said.

She obeyed.

Makoto wrapped his arm around her.

They automatically started spooning. He only wore boxers.

“Are we safe?” Kotonoha asked.

“We are,” he said. “Now try and get some sleep.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“Yes you can. I’m right here.”

“I love you, Makoto.”

“Me too.”

She closed her eyes.

No way she could fall asleep after what had happened. It was simply…

She yawned. So tired.


	21. Chapter 21

Kotonoha’s eyes fluttered open.

Fear immediately filled her.

“Makoto?” She reached out blindly until she found his arm. Kotonoha embraced her boyfriend, who was now waking up.

“Huh? Oh, morning.” Makoto petted her head.

“Don’t leave me,” Kotonoha pleaded.

“I’m right here,” he comforted her. “Don’t worry.”

“You weren’t holding me,” she accused him.

“I must have rolled over in my sleep.” He gently pushed her off him and sat up.

“No,” she pushed him back down and held him tightly.

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “Let me go.”

“No.” She kept holding him.

Makoto rolled them over. She held onto his waist.

He pried away her hands and pinned them down over her head.

Kotonoha wrapped her legs around him so he couldn’t escape.

“What’s wrong with you?” he demanded.

She looked away. “I-I’m scared.”

“I’m just going to the bathroom. I’ll be back in two minutes.”   
“But…”

“What’s wrong?”   
“What if… what if I… do something else?” her voice was filled with fear.

He sighed. “What happened last night was…”

“What if it happens again?” she insisted.

With Makoto by her side she felt safe, but if he went away she didn’t know what would happen.

“I understand you’re scared, but what do you expect me to do? I can’t stay with you  _ all _ the time. What if something happens while I’m sleeping? You expect me to watch you 24 hours a day?”

“I know, but…”

“Promise me you won’t do anything drastic without telling me first,” he said.

“I-I promise.”

“Okay. Now stay right here. I’m gonna go pee and then I’ll come back.”

“C-Can’t I come with you?”

He sighed. “You’re choking me, Kotonoha.”   
She cast her eyes down. “I understand. I’ll just… wait here.”

“I’ll be right back.”

He went to the bathroom.

Kotonoha wrapped her arms around her legs and sat like that until he returned.

“Kotonoha?” he brushed her hair away. “Are you crying?”

“No.” She wiped away her tears.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He embraced her. “You can cry if it hurts.”

He held her for a while until she calmed down again.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“For what?”   
“For being such a terrible girlfriend. I mean: look at me.”

He grinned. “If you insist.” He stared at her naked body.

She smiled faintly through her tears. “I mean… no wait, that is what I mean. Your girlfriend is sitting here naked. I should do other things than cry.”

“Given the situation-”

“You mean the one  _ I  _ caused?” Their eyes locked. “I have no excuse, Makoto. This is all my fault. You shouldn’t be suffering the consequences for my mistakes.”

“You thought you were dreaming,” he argued.

“You mean I’m conveniently ignored the truth?”

“You don’t believe that,” Makoto said. “You would never do that on purpose.”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Besides. What’s done is done. You can’t turn back the past. You can only look at the future.”

“That’s what I’m worried about. I don’t want you to deal with all this mess.”

“Well what do you suggest?”

She looked at him. “Dump me. And find a better girlfriend.”

“I can’t.”

“I wouldn’t blame you,” she assured him. “You have every reason to break up with me.”

“And yet I won’t.”

She cried harder. “I don’t deserve you.”

Kotonoha put her head down on his shoulder.

“It’s not about deserving,” he said.

“Even so, you deserve better.”

“And yet here I am.”

She kept holding him. He gave her a bit longer to cry out. She didn’t know how long, but eventually, he gently untangled himself from their embrace.

“Come on, Kotonoha. You need to get dressed.”

“I don’t want to get dressed,” she said.

“You don’t have a choice.”

“I’ll just say that I’m sick.”

He shook his head. “Arises too much suspicion. You have to act as if nothing happened or your mom might start connecting the dots.”

“S-She can’t prove anything,” Kotonoha argued.   
“Cops need proof, your mom doesn’t. If she finds out what you did…”

He didn’t have to finish that sentence.

“A-Are you scared?” she asked.   
“No.”

“I mean… are you scared of me? I… If I can’t tell the difference between dream and reality anymore then…”   
“Well ask yourself this,” he said calmly. “Would you ever hurt me?”

“No, of course not. I love you.”

“Can you  _ imagine _ hurting me?”   
She shook her head. “No.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“But… what if… what if I hurt someone else? What if I hurt Sekai?”

“Sekai is my friend, you’d be hurting me as well.”

“And if I hurt someone you don’t care about?” she kept going.

“If it’s someone you care about, you’re hurting me too.”

“How so?”

“Well… if tonight hadn’t happened then this would have turned out differently, wouldn’t it? A naked girl, a handsome guy. I think we would be doing more interesting things. So really, you hurt me as well. You took away what could have been an interesting morning by sitting here crying.”

“But in the long term I didn’t. Now he’s no longer in our way.”

Makoto hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Are you hearing yourself? You just said that…”

Kotonoha turned red. “I didn’t mean… I just…”

“It’s okay,” he said.

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” she insisted. “I thought I was dreaming.”

She didn’t know who she was trying to convince anymore.

He took her hand. “It will be alright.”

“I’m just so scared it will happen again,” Kotonoha admitted. She couldn’t meet his eyes.

“It won’t. I won’t let you.”

“But…”

“You don’t want to hurt me, do you?”

“No.”

“You’d do  _ anything  _ not to hurt me, right?”

“Y-Yes.”

“Then you have nothing to worry about. I don’t think you could do it again. If you did, you’d become so paranoid it would be impossible to have a normal relationship anymore. So if our relationship is really the most important thing to you-”

“It is,” she quickly said.

“Then you have nothing to worry about. You’re not gonna do something like that again because it would ruin what we have. And you don’t want that, do you?”

She nodded slowly. “You’re right.”

“Now, while I don’t mind looking at your naked body, we really need to get dressed.”

“Will you…” she hesitated.

“Hm?”

“Will you help me?”

He frowned. “You want me to help you get dressed?”

“If that’s okay?”

“Sure. No problem.”

They got up.

Makoto opened her closet and searched. He handed her a bra and panties.

Kotonoha took a deep breath. “Makoto?”

“Yes?”

“What do you want?” 

“Oh. Too sexy?” he looked at the underwear. “Sorry.”

“I’m not talking about that,” she said. “What do you want with me?”

“I don’t understand.”

“You do. Please, be honest with me. Just this one time. I know I’ll never be able to prove it, but…” her voice trailed off.

“Look,” he said. “You’re very confused right now and-”

“Please.” Kotonoha kneeled down and lowered her head. “Just this one time.”

He hesitated. “I don’t know what-”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.”   
There was a long silence.

“You’re right,” he finally said. “You’ll never be able to prove it.”   
Her boyfriend sat down on the edge of her bed.

“Makoto?”

“Get up,” he said.

Kotonoha hesitantly stood up and sat next to him on the bed.

They didn’t touch each other and both looked straight ahead. It was a very strange situation.

A silence fell.

“This is not a coincidence,” Kotonoha said eventually. “I have nightmares about my dad. Yesterday, you told me to overcome them and to come to you when it gets too much. And then, that very same night, I  _ happen  _ to wake up and decide to go down to the kitchen to drink a glass of water. I had no reason to do that. I could have drank from the tap in the bathroom. Then I  _ happen _ to run into my dad, get into an argument and… and you were there. You had a plan. You didn’t panic at all, you just calmly fixed it. Almost as if…”

“As if I knew what would happen?” he finished. “As if I had a plan lying in wait?”

“Not ‘as if’, Makoto.”

He took a deep breath.

“Do you remember when I asked you to describe your dream?” he asked. “The one where I took you from behind on the roof.”

“I remember,” she said.

“I asked that because-”

“You had the same dream,” she finished.   
“Indeed,” he confirmed.

“So then you knew this would happen?” This couldn’t be. Makoto could not-

“No, I didn’t. I had the plan, that’s right. I executed it during my dreams. That’s why I told you you had to do everything I said. Because if something was even slightly different from my dream…”

“You wouldn’t know what to do anymore.”

“Indeed. I was just as scared as you, Kotonoha. Maybe even more.”

“But why didn’t you tell me?” she asked calmly. “You could have stopped me.”

“I didn’t fuck you on the roof, did I? Not every dream happens.”   
“Not yet. Maybe we’ll do that in the future.” She was almost certain they would.   
“I’ll take you up on that,” he said, smiling faintly. “Even so, not all of them are physically possible.”

“That’s true I guess,” she said slowly. He had a point there. The vast majority of her dreams hadn’t happened at all. “But didn’t you feel-”

“No, Kotonoha. I didn’t,” Makoto cut her off. “You hope that I have answers for you, but I don’t. You hope that this is an elaborate mindfuck. That I have supernatural gifts. That there is  _ something  _ about me. That I am doing this on purpose because I want something from you. But the truth is that I have the exact same questions you have. I don’t have an explanation for you, I’m sorry.”

“You must have something,” she insisted.

“Notebook,” he said. “In my bag.”

She opened his bag and found a black notebook. “You weren’t making homework, were you?”

“Not really.”

She sat back down on the bed and opened it. “A diary?”

“With everything I consider suspicious. I’ve been keeping them since I was eight. That’s just a notebook for on the way. I type it all out at home when I have the time.”

“So I’m not the first girl then? These kind of things have happened to other girls as well.”

“Yes.”

“But I thought I was your first girlfriend? Weren’t you rejected by a lot of girls before?”

He frowned. “Where did you get that?”   
“Sekai told me.”

“Well she lied then,” he said calmly. “I never confessed to anyone else. But why would she lie about that?”

“Because she knew I would be reluctant to turn you down,” Kotonoha said. “I’d feel guilty for not giving you a chance. And it worked.”

“Hm. So that would mean… hold on, I need to make a note.”

He took out a pen and wrote something in his diary.

“Other people are involved in this,” he mumbled. “Interesting.”

“You turned Sekai down,” Kotonoha said. “Why?”   
“Because I was scared. I’d already noticed a lot of strange things. Too many girls were interested in me. Too many to be natural. And the situations I got in were just too convenient to be normal. I was scared what would happen with Sekai if I said yes.”

“And what about me?”

“You were an experiment. I wanted to test things out.”

“I was a  _ what _ ?”

“At first,” he clarified. “I didn’t mean to actually fall for you. Sorry I used you like this.”

“And how did your experiment turn out so far?”

“You tell me,” he said. “Don’t you think there are-”

“Kotonoha?” a voice called. “How long are you gonna stay in there?”

The door opened.

Makoto quickly pulled her in an embrace.

“Oh.” Manami looked at her naked daughter. “Sorry.”

She closed the door again.

Kotonoha’s ears were burning. That couldn’t have been much more embarrassing.

“So, as I said,” Makoto spoke. “You should get dressed.”

“Y-Yeah. I should.”

She put on the bra and panties he had handed her. The rest of her outfit consisted of a red skirt, thigh-high socks, a shirt and a white hoodie.

It was getting colder outside, so she couldn’t wear much revealing things. If it had been summer, she was certain he would have picked out something sexier. And she probably wouldn’t have stopped him.

They went downstairs. Manami was having breakfast by herself.

“Sorry for barging in like that,” her mother apologised.

“What was so urgent?” Kotonoha asked.

“Have you seen your dad?”

“Uhm…” her heart skipped several beats.

“What do you mean?” Makoto intervened. “When would we have seen him?”   
“I don’t know,” she said. “He had a meeting this morning but he never showed up there. They called his cell phone but he doesn’t answer.”

“Strange,” Makoto said.

“And then they called me,” Manami said, annoyed. “As if I know where he is.”

“Well I haven’t seen him since last night,” Makoto said. “What about you, Kotonoha?”

“S-Same.”

“Are you okay, Kotonoha?” her mom asked.

“I-I didn’t sleep well.”

Manami smiled. “You mean you weren’t alone?”

“Mom.”

“Look, I don’t care how much you fuck around as long as you do it safe. And your dad doesn’t find out. But given he’s-”

“Mom!”

“What? You should be grateful I’m like this. You prefer it if I tell you to keep an arm length between you?”

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t embarrass me,” she mumbled.

“Not my fault you don’t lock your door.”

“Uhum, Makoto said. “Breakfast?”

“Yeah.” Kotonoha sat down just as her mom stood up.

“I have to get to work,” Manami said. “Have fun you two.”

She winked at Makoto.   
Kotonoha blushed even harder.

The door closed.

“Come here,” Makoto said. He tapped his knees.

“Makoto?”

“Your mom said  _ have fun _ .”

“You want to do it here?”

“I want you to sit on my lap,” he said. “Although if you insist on doing something else.”

Embarrassed, she sat on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her.

“So what do we do now?” Kotonoha asked quietly.

“I can come up with some things,” Makoto said with a smirk.

“About my dad I meant.”

“Oh,” he changed his tone. “Well, all traces are gone. Just say you don’t know anything.”

“What if she calls the cops?”

“I’ve already taken care of that. Don’t you trust me?”

“Of course I do.”

“Then why are you worrying?”

She sighed. “Sorry. I shouldn’t keep talking about this. You fixed it and I trust you.”

“I understand you’re worried,” he said. “But everything will be alright. Just leave it to me.”   
“Okay.”

“You just focus on other things.”

“Like what?”

“Being a good girlfriend. I don’t want to be mean, but…”

“No, you’re right. I haven’t been the most fun to be around lately. I may have a reason, but that has nothing to do with you.”

“Exactly.”

“You want to watch some Netflix after breakfast?” she asked.

“Netflix and chill?”

She showed him a sultry smile. “Maybe.”


	22. Chapter 22

Kotonoha was woken up roughly.

What the…

The doorbell rang again. Her boyfriend woke up as well. He groaned loudly.

She untangled herself from his embrace.

“Too early,” he complained.

She mumbled something back as she put on a bathrobe to cover her naked body. “I’ll go check it out.”

“Hm.” He turned on his side.

Kotonoha took the stairs down. The bell rang again.

“Coming.”

Who bothered them at this hour?

Kotonoha reached the door and opened it slightly.

Damn.

There were two people at the door. Both young men in cop uniforms.

“Police,” one of them said. He held up a card. “Can we come in?”

“Uhm…”

Had they found her? Should she make a run for it?

“We’re investigating the disappearance of…” he checked a small notebook. “Mr. Katsura. His wife called us last night. Is she home?”

“Oh. She’s at work I think.”

They threw each other a strange look.

“Can we come in?” the other one asked.

“S-Sure.”

Kotonoha opened the door completely.

They entered.

She noticed they were both very focused on removing their shoes when they noticed she only had a bathrobe on.

Someone came down the stairs.

“Something wrong?” Makoto had put on a bathrobe as well.

“Your boyfriend?” one of the cops asked.

“Yeah.”

They both looked at each other.

“Sorry to interrupt,” one of them said.

“N-No problem.”

She went into the living room. The others followed.

“Have a seat.” She gestured towards the couch.

They sat down in one of the couches. She sat down in the other one.

Makoto went to sit next to her and took her hand. He squeezed it softly.

One of the cops took out his notebook again. “So according to your mother your father disappeared three days ago.”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me what happened?”

_ Stay calm _ . They didn’t know anything. She had to keep it that way.

She took a deep breath. “I-I don’t know,” she started. “We went to bed after dinner and the next morning he was gone.”

“And you didn’t see him after you went to bed?” the cop asked.

“N-No, I was asleep,” Kotonoha said.

“You seem uncomfortable,” the other cop noticed.

“Her dad has been missing for three days, of course she’s uncomfortable,” Makoto barked.

The cop turned red. “Uhum, of course.”

“Did you check his room?” the other one asked.

“Mom checked his workroom, but she didn’t find anything.”

“Hm. Can I take a look?”

“Sure. It’s up the stairs. Second door on the left.”

“I’ll find it.”

He went up.

“So nothing strange happened that night?” the other cop pressed on. “He didn’t behave weird? Said something strange. Anything.”

“Well, it… it was the first time he went to dinner with my boyfriend so he was a bit… but that’s not…”

“There was that call,” Makoto said.

“What call?” the man seemed interested now.

“Well at one point his cell phone rang and he went outside to take the call. He was gone pretty long and he acted nervous when he returned.”

“Hm. What did he say it was?”

“Trouble at work.”

What was Makoto going on about? Nothing like that had happened.

This had to be part of his plan.

The door opened again. “Found something.”

“That’s his phone,” Kotonoha said. “Where did you get that?”

“Bottom drawer of his desk, beneath some papers. It’s turned off. Do you know his pin?”

“Try 0104 or 1128,” Kotonoha said.

The cop did as she asked. “There we go. It was 1128.”

“Should have known,” she mumbled.

“How did you know?” Makoto asked.

“Kokoro’s birthday.”

“His last call was on the night he disappeared,” the cop said. “With a women named Mel. Sound familiar?”

“His secretary,” Kotonoha said.

Makoto must have arranged this all.

“Let’s see then.” The cop typed over the number in his own phone and called. “Hello?”

[...]

“Police. We’re looking for Mr. Katsura.”   
[...]

“Oh, I see. Well that explains.”

[...]

“Yes, thank you very much.”

The cop hung up.

“Did you find him?” Kotonoha asked.

“Uhm,” the officer hesitated. “How… how would you describe the relationship between your parents?”

“Well, not… not that bad.” She avoided his gaze.

“Then why is she working right now when her husband is missing? Why did she only call us after three days?”

“Well…” Kotonoha didn’t know what to say to that.

“According to his secretary, they were having an affair for over a year.”

“What? That’s impossible. Dad would never do that.”

“She said they were planning to leave together all along,” the cop continued. “But he kept postponing it. So that night she called saying they would leave right now or she would break up with him.”

“B-But why didn’t he say anything?”

“Well,” the cop said. “This is a pretty big house. I assume your dad makes a lot of money.”

“My dad… oh. I see.” It could indeed look like he didn’t want an expensive divorce.

“He probably emptied his accounts and left.”

“Well, case closed I’m afraid,” the other cop said. “Your dad is long gone and he left out of his own volition. We can’t do anything, I’m sorry.”

“I understand. Thanks anyway.”

“If you want, we can call someone for you.”   
“No need,” she said. “I have my boyfriend.” She squeezed Makoto’s hand.   
“Okay. Good day, Miss.”

She walked them outside and closed the door behind them.

Kotonoha let out her breath.

She returned to the living room.

Makoto embraced her. “Well done.”

“Who was that?” she asked. “On the phone.”

“Sekai,” he replied. “I switched the number before turning off his phone.”

Kotonoha sat down on the couch again. “Sekai knows?”

“She didn’t ask,” Makoto said. “I told her it was important so she did it.”

“Okay. And you didn’t tell me the plan…”

“So your reactions would be genuine. The cops are completely convinced. Didn’t I tell you I’d fix it?”

She still wasn’t convinced. “What if someone else asks about him?”

“Tell them the same story. Tell them he ran away with his secretary.”

“What if his secretary asks?” Kotonoha insisted.   
“Just tell people he ran away with a younger woman without giving them the details.”   
Hm. That could work. People would happily believe that. Her dad was rich, and people were more than willing to believe rich people did things like this. Even so… 

“What about my mom?”

“Tell her you won’t give her the name of the woman because you’re afraid she will do something stupid.”

“Okay then.”

“There is nothing to worry about, Kotonoha. They’ll never find out what actually happened.”

“W-What did you do with-”

“Shh,” he shushed her. “Just trust me. I’ve taken care of every loose end.”

“Okay then.”

“The festival is tomorrow,” he changed the subject.

“We’re still gonna dance, right?”

“Of course. I didn’t practice so much for nothing.”

“We went to  _ one _ lesson.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t practice on my own,” he argued. “Like you did for my private dance.”   
She felt a sudden urge to…

Makoto was surprised at first by her sudden kiss, but then he settled into it.

She moved to sit on his lap.

His hands went beneath her bathrobe to play with her boobs. 

“I want you,” he said. Makoto pulled her bathrobe open.

“Makoto-kun.” She blushed.

“I mean it,” he told her. “I want to make love to you.”

“W-We can’t,” Kotonoha protested. She closed her bathrobe again.

“Why not?”

“I-I’m not ready.” It was too scary. What if she did something wrong? By now, the anticipation was so high she just… 

He sighed. “Okay then.”

“I’m sorry. Shall I take care of it with my mouth?”

“Yeah, sure,” he mumbled.

Kotonoha frowned. “You don’t like that?”

“I do. I love it. But it feels like you’re just doing it out of guilt.”

“I don’t. I love doi- I love sucking your cock, Makoto.” She blushed a bit when she said it out loud. “I really do. Can I? Please?”

“Even if you say that, it feels like you’re only doing it because… I don’t know. I don’t want you to do this  _ instead _ of real sex. It’s not a replacement.”

“I know. But… I just can’t. Not yet.”

He sighed again. “When? What are you waiting for, Kotonoha?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “It just doesn’t  _ feel  _ right. I want it to be…”

“Special?” he suggested.   
“Something like that. I always imagined my first time would be…”

“Oh no. You’ve got to be kidding me.”   
She frowned. “What?”   
“Go ahead and finish,” he urged her. “Tell me how you imagined it.”

“I… that…” Kotonoha stammered. She looked away.

He took her chin and forced her to look at him. “I asked you a question.”

Kotonoha swallowed hard. There was no more room to evade now. “W-Well, I sometimes dream about it.”

“Like the one with the horses in Europe? And the rain?”

She blushed. “C-Can you see  _ all _ my dreams?” What else had he seen? This was so embarrassing.

“I don’t know. Do you keep a dream diary?”

“No. B-But, if I dream about it, doesn’t that mean I’m ready?”

“Well I imagine it doesn’t hurt in your dreams? And it’s all perfect?”

“Yeah,” she confirmed.

“So you’ll probably start freaking out if it doesn’t go exactly like that.”

“Maybe. I do freak out a lot. Maybe that’s why I’m so scared? I really don’t want to ruin it for you.”

“We could try to do it like in one of your dreams,” he suggested. “Then it won’t be as scary. You’ll have done it already.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. But…”

“We’ll need to pick something realistic,” he finished. “We can’t go to Europe and wait until it rains.”

“I had a dream this morning. But I can’t remember it. If those cops hadn’t woken me up then…”

“We have time,” he said.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just…”

“It’s okay,” he assured her.

“No it’s not. Why aren’t you angry at me? I’m being selfish here. I never think about what you want.”

“I am angry,” he said. “But not at you. Just in general.”

“But-”

“Kotonoha.” His voice was very serious. “I could do it right now. You know that, don’t you? If I said I’d leave you unless we do it right now, what would you do?”

“Do you… is that…”

“Hypothetically speaking,” he clarified.

“I-I’d do it. I’d let you do it. I understand you want this and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect it from your girlfriend. Not after we’ve been together this long.”

“But then it wouldn’t be very satisfying, would it? I’d feel guilty about pressuring you like this. You wouldn’t have enjoyed it very much because you felt forced and scared. We’d both feel bad about it.”

“But you’re feeling bad right now. The longer we wait, the more frustrated you’ll get.” 

“I want you to do it because you want to.”

“I do. I really want it, but…” She sighed. Why was this so hard?

“You’re not gonna get any more confident,” he said.

“I know. Just… give me some time to think about all this, okay? It’s a bit sudden.”

“Sudden? Kotonoha, we-”

“After the festival,” she quickly said. “One day, I don’t need any more than that.”

“And then what? What if you decide you’re still not ready?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted.

“Things can’t stay like this, Kotonoha. I understand you need time, but if you can’t tell me how much then…” he sighed. “I can wait for as long as you need, but this is killing me. It could be a month, it could be a year, it could be never for all I know. You could ask me to wait every day for as long as you like and it’s only gonna lead to more drama between us.”

“I know. Just… can we talk tomorrow? Please.”

“Okay then.”

She hugged him. “Thanks.” 

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not.”

“True. But we’ll figure it out, together.”

They held each other for a while.

“I’ll leave you alone tonight,” he said.

“No, please.” She held onto him.

“We won’t be together all the time, Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “You know that. My mom is gonna get worried if I stay away even longer. And I want you to think by yourself. If I’m here, you won’t do any thinking.”

“I’m scared,” she said.

“What do you suggest? Go live together?”

Kotonoha blushed. “Would that be so bad? I want you, Makoto. I-”   
“Kotonoha,” he interrupted her. “You don’t even know if you’re ready to have sex with me yet, and now you’re saying you want to live together?”

“Well, that… if you put it that way…”

He looked very uncomfortable now. “I love you, but-”

“I understand,” she quickly said. “It’s just that… I don’t know if I can sleep without you next to me. My dreams…”

“You still have nightmares?” he asked.

“No, but… you’ve been with me for the last three days. What if they return when you’re gone?”

“I’ve got something.” Makoto pulled off his shirt.

“M-Makoto?”   
He handed it to her and went to his bag.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” she asked.   
“Whatever you did with it last time. You think I believe you forgot to return it for a week?”

Kotonoha turned red. “That…”

“It’s okay,” he said. Makoto pulled a fresh shirt over his head. “I don’t mind.”

“T-Thanks.”

“Sorry I can’t stay.”

“I understand. You’ll be with me in my dreams.”

“Are your dreams R-rated?”

“S-Sometimes,” she avoided.

Makoto chuckled. “I’ll see you at the festival.”

“Okay.”

They kissed.

Kotonoha walked him to the station. She stared until his train was out of sight. When it was gone, she returned home.

\

It was late at night when her mom finally came home.

“Ah, there you are.”

“Oh, hey mom.” Kotonoha looked up from the book she pretended to read.

“Still no word from your dad?”

“Uhm, I think you better sit down.”   
Frowning, her mother sat down on a kitchen chair.

“The cops came here this morning,” Kotonoha explained. “And they… they found out where he is.”   
“How?”

“They found his cell phone and dialed the last number. It turns out he… he left on his own. With uhm… his mistress.”   
“What? That’s impossible.” Her mom stood up.

“Well it’s true.”   
“Who is it?”

“What are you gonna do if you find out?”

“Just tell me.”

“No. You’re gonna do stupid things. Besides, he’s no longer in the country. They got on a plane days ago.”   
“He would never do that,” Manami insisted.

“Oh come on, mom. He went missing and you just went to work as if nothing happened. It took you three days to call the cops.”

“Well I’m gonna find out,” her mom said. “Just wait and see.”   
She grabbed her coat.

“Mom? What are you doing?”

“I’ll find him.”

“Mom.”

The door slammed close.

Kotonoha hurried after her. Her mom was going outside.

She cursed under her breath when her bare feet hit the cold stones.

Her mother got in her car and started the engine. She drove backwards dangerously fast and turned.

“Mom!”

The car accelerated towards the gate.

Kotonoha ran behind it, but it was pointless.

She cursed again and went back inside.

Kotonoha took out her phone and selected the first number from the speed dial.

“Makoto? We have a problem.”

[What happened?]

She explained the situation.

[Don’t worry,] he assured her. [She won’t find anything. There is nothing to find.]

“You sure?”

[You don’t trust me?]

“I do, but-”

[No buts. You either trust me or you don’t.]

Kotonoha swallowed hard. “I trust you.”

[Okay.]

It was silent for a moment.

[We have to get up early tomorrow.]

“Yeah, we better get to sleep. I’ll get ready.”

[Me too.]

“Can you… I uhm… I want to say goodnight.”

[No problem. Give me a few minutes to brush my teeth and get changed.]

“Okay.”

Kotonoha went upstairs. She put her phone on her bed and went to the bathroom to get ready. When she returned, she stripped down. At her underwear, she hesitated.

With a shrug, she took off her bra and panties and got under the covers.

With Makoto’s shirt next to her, she could imagine she was sleeping naked with him and…

[Kotonoha?]

“Oh. Uhm, hey.”

[Hey again.]

“So uhm, goodnight.”

[Sleep tight.]

…

[I love you.]

She smiled. “Me too.”

He broke off the call.

Kotonoha put her phone away and rolled on her side. She held his shirt in her hands.

If only he was here now, then maybe…

She shook off the thought.

Let’s just go to sleep.


	23. Chapter 23

Kotonoha looked into the mirror.

What was she wearing?

Wait, this wasn’t her.

The Kotonoha in the mirror looked a bit older, with smooth hair and expensive silver jewelry. Her look was also different. This was some different version of her.

However, it wasn’t the usual confident Red Kotonoha. No, this was someone else. This girl was-

Someone roughly grabbed her breasts from behind.

“H-Hey.”

“Shh. Accept it,” a voice said.

“Makoto?”

She couldn’t see him. He didn’t reflect in the mirror and she could not turn around. Yet his voice was unmistakable.

“I think you’re a bit overdressed, don’t you agree?”

Without waiting for an answer, he ripped off her clothes.

Her breasts were freed. Apparently she wore no bra.

“That’s better.”

He grabbed her breasts again and fondled them hard. His nails dug into the tender flesh.

“M-Makoto.”

“Tell me.”

“Down there too.” She breathed hard. “Please.”

He grinned and ripped off her skirt as well. Her panties were roughly pulled down to her knees and her legs were pushed open.

Makoto gave her pussy a few smacks. A lewd wet sound reached her.

“Fuck.”

He rubbed her very roughly.

“Makoto, don’t stop. I’m gonna-”

“No cumming,” he ordered.

“What?”

“Wake up.”   
Kotonoha jerked upright.

There was darkness around her.

She reached out blindly and turned on the nightlight.

The light blinded her for a second and then her surroundings became clear. Her own room.

Another dream.

It was a dream, right?

Her hand felt weird. Sticky.

She brought it to her face and smelled.

Yeah, that was… 

When she checked the bed, she found a small wet patch. She had gone to sleep naked and woken up with sticky fingers, so there was little doubt as to what it was.

Kotonoha inspected her breasts. Tiny half-crescent markings. She had dug her nails into them.

His shirt was on her pillow. That probably hadn’t helped much with her self control.

She put on a bathrobe and went to the bathroom to wash her hands. Then, she returned and picked up her phone. She pressed speed dial one.

There was a response after a short while.

[Kotonoha? You’re early today.]

“Sorry, did I wake you up?”

[No, I was already awake. Couldn’t sleep. Too nervous about the festival.]

“Okay. I uhm…”   
[Yes?]

“Well I woke up and uhm… well… I think I’ve been… playing with myself.”

[Oh.]

“I just thought you should know.” She tried to sound casual. This was no big deal, right?

[No apology? Given we’re not having real sex because of you, don’t you think it’s a bit inappropriate to do that?]

“I didn’t do it on purpose,” she argued. “I just woke up like this.”

[And that makes it okay? The result is the same. You’re having fun and I’m frustrated.]

“Well…”

[Apologise.]

“I’m sorry.”

[For what?]

“For being selfish. For hurting you.”

[You don’t sound sincere. I think you need to be punished.]

“Makoto-kun. Don’t-”

[Didn’t you say it yourself? If there are no real consequences for your actions, you won’t improve. I don’t want to do it either, Kotonoha, but given how selfish you are I don’t think you will stop unless there are some consequences.]

“The festival is gonna start soon and I need to get ready. There is no time for you to come over.”

[You still got that collar?]

She swallowed hard. “I do.”   
[Put it on.]

“Makoto-”

[Now.]

“O-Okay.”

She pulled out a box from deep under her bed. With a deep breath she opened it and put on the collar. With a soft beep, she turned it on.

Kotonoha picked up her phone again.

“How much?” she asked.

[Three times. I’ll let you pick the setting yourself.]

“Okay. Thank you.”

She put down her phone and grabbed the remote.

Okay, setting. Uhm…

Three?

No, no, that was too low.

Seven?

Had she ever put it on seven?

What had she put it on last time something like this happened? It had been a long time since she had last used it. Somewhere along the way, she had been convinced she no longer needed it. After all, she was giving him oral sex and even a striptease.

And yet… somehow she had stalled there. And she was starting to slip back into old selfish habits. So maybe she did need some punishment.

But how much?

Kotonoha picked up her phone. “Please tell me how much.”

[You sure?]

Kotonoha swallowed. “On a scale of one to ten, how much did I hurt you?”

[Hm. Just put it on five.]

“You sure that’s enough?”

[You’re trying very hard. I know it’s not easy. You’re frustrated too.]

“That’s my own fault.”

[Even so, this is just one slip. So put it on five. But if it happens again this week, it’s gonna be a lot worse.]

“O-Okay. I’m gonna do it.”

She navigated to five with the remote.

Kotonoha closed her eyes and pressed.

“Fuck.”

It had been a while since she had shocked herself so she was totally unprepared.

[Count,] he ordered her.

“One.”   
While biting her lip, she pressed another time.

“T-Two.”

[Just one more,] he encouraged her.

With shaking hands, she pressed another time. “Three.”

[Well done. I’m proud of you, Kotonoha.]

She put down the remote and reached for the collar, but then hesitated. “May I take it off?”

[You may.]

“Thank you.”

Kotonoha unclasped it and put it back in the box.   
[You feel better?]

“Yes. I do.”

She felt some relief. If she hadn’t done this, she would still feel guilty about it somewhere in the back of her mind. Now it was over. She had made a mistake and she had been punished. She could move on guilt-free now.

[Good.]

“I need to get ready for school.”

[Yeah. I’ll see you soon.]

“I love you.”

[Me too.]

She hung up and went to take a shower.

That dream had been…

She shook her head. She couldn’t do that.

And yet…

_ Focus _ . She had to look good today. They were gonna dance tonight.

She made sure to shave herself everywhere. She wasn’t planning anything, but she did it just in case.

Luckily she didn’t have to worry about her clothes. She had to wear her school uniform even during the festival. But she could wear makeup of course. And there were no rules about her underwear.

When she finished getting ready, she ate breakfast and left for school.

On the train, she met Makoto.

They kissed.

“You look good,” he said. “As always.”

She blushed. “Uhm… are you still mad about… this morning?”

“You’ve already been punished, haven’t you? Or do you feel like you need more?”

“That’s for you to decide,” she said.

“For now, you’ve had enough. Don’t make it happen again.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

He hesitated. “Uhm, about… have you thought about…”

“Can we talk about this after the festival?” she asked.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “So when do you have your shifts? I want to go around the festival together.”

“I’m free a few hours after lunch.”

“Me too.”

Kotonoha smiled. “I’ll come get your for lunch then.”

“Sounds good.”

It was silent for a moment. Makoto seemed uncomfortable.

“Is something wrong?” Kotonoha asked. “Look I’m really sorry-”

“It’s not that. It’s… the… situation. With your da… you know what I mean.”

His serious tone spoke volumes. “You mean…” Kotonoha sighed. “I thought that was over? I really don’t want to talk about that, Makoto.”

“Just one thing.”

“Okay.”

He dropped his voice. “You need to destroy his phone.”

“What?”

“Shh. Quiet.”

“Sorry.”

“The last called number in his phone is Sekai. We can’t leave that loose end.”

“I’ll just hide it,” she said.

“No. No loose ends. You need to destroy it. Promise me, Kotonoha.” He sounded very serious.

“I-I promise.”

“Okay.”

Their train arrived at school.

“I have some final preparations to do,” Makoto said, trying to sound casual.

“Me too. I’ll come get you at lunch, okay?”

“Okay.”

They shared a kiss and went off to their classes.

Half of her class had already arrived. They were busy setting things up.

Kotonoha noticed they were mainly focusing on the ‘Break Room’, not the actual haunted house.

“Chie? What are you doing?” Otome asked.

“Nothing.” Chie quickly closed the curtain.

“Yes , you were-”   
“We should hurry,” Kotonoha interrupted. “We have to open soon. Do you have those chairs?”

“Why don’t you get them?” Otome barked at her.

“I’ll get them,” Chie said. “Come on Otome.”

“Hey-”

Otome was dragged away by Chie.

Kotonoha waited until they were gone and then looked behind the curtain.

Hm, interesting.

She left the Break Room.

Some time later Otome and Chie returned. They put the folding chairs behind the table in the front.

“Oh, don’t forget this,” Chie said. She handed Kotonoha a box.

“Okay.”

“You have the first shift,” Otome said. “Have fun.”

They left.

The others followed her, leaving Kotonoha all alone.

She sat down and opened the box.

Condoms, of course.

Hm. Maybe she should take some? Just in case. Not that anything was going to happen, but it never hurt to be prepared, right?

She pocketed a few of them. Then, she took out a book from her bag and started reading.

No one came here anyway unless it was for the Break Room. And it was still pretty early for that.

At lunch, she went to Makoto’s class.

They were doing a maid cafe with-

“Kotonoha?” a voice asked.

“Ah, Makoto.”

“Something wrong?”

“No, I was just… uhum, nothing.”

“Shall we?” he asked.

“Can you wait for a minute? I need to ask Sekai something.”

He frowned. “What is it?”

“Private things,” she avoided.

His eyes narrowed. “I don’t like you hiding things from me.”

“It’s uhm… girly stuff.”   
“That makes me even more worried. Can’t we discuss everything with-”

“Not when I’m planning something  _ for _ you,” she said.

“Oh. Sorry. I’ll just… wait outside then. Sekai is in the kitchen.”   
“Okay.”

Kotonoha went to the kitchen. It seemed pretty busy in here.

“Sekai?”

“Oh, Kotonoha. I’m kinda busy now.”

“Do you have five minutes? I need to ask a favor.”

Sekai hesitated. “But…”

“Please?”

“How do you mean we’re out of apple pie?” a voice in the background demanded.

“I don’t know,” another voice replied.

“Se-chan?” Sekai asked.

Kiyoura turned red. “I think I made a slight miscalculation.”

“We can fix this,” Sekai assured her. “I’ll just run to the store real quick. What do you need?”

Kiyoura let out a breath of relief. She pulled out a notepad and a pen and wrote some stuff down. Then, she ripped off the paper and handed it to Sekai.

“Can I go with you?” Kotonoha asked.

“Ah, sure. We can talk on the way.”

She texted Makoto to explain the situation. He said it was okay.

They walked outside together.

“So, what’s the problem?” Sekai asked. “Is it about Makoto?”

“Sort off.”   
“How so?”

“Well…” Kotonoha hesitated. “We uhm… we still didn’t… haven’t… you know, had real sex.”

“Oh. But I thought you-”

“We did plenty of other things, but… well, you know.” She looked at the pavement.

“I see. Well if you’re not ready then-”

“That’s not it,” Kotonoha said quickly. “I want to… I want to do it a certain way.”

Sekai frowned. “And you need me for that?”

“I want you to get something for me,” Kotonoha explained.

Sekai looked very confused. “If you’re not ready to get that yourself I don’t think you’re ready to do it either.”

“Ready to…” 

Oh wait. Kotonoha put her hand in her pocket and touched the condoms.

“It’s something else,” she said.

“What could you possibly need?”

Kotonoha fidgeted. “It’s a bit embarrassing.”

“Well if you don’t say it I can’t get it for you.”

“It’s…” Kotonoha stopped walking.

“Yes?”

She leaned in and whispered something in her ear.

Sekai’s eyes widened. “Oh my.”

“So uhm, can you get that for me?” Kotonoha played with her fingers.

“Yeah, I think I can.”

“Okay, thanks a lot. I didn’t know what else to do.”

“You mean… you will only do it if you have it?”

“I want it to be special,” Kotonoha said. “Makoto has waited long enough, so at the very least I should make sure it’s an experience he’ll never forget.”

“I’ll get it for you,” Sekai said. “Once the festival is over.”

“Speaking of the festival, we should probably get going. Setsuna-san is waiting for us.”

“True.”

They started walking again.

Once in the store, they quickly collected what they needed and returned.

Makoto was waiting for her.

“Sorry I was away,” Kotonoha said.

“It’s okay,” Makoto said.

“Uhm,” Sekai started. “Never mind.”

“Wait, you’re off now too, aren’t you?” Makoto asked.

“Yeah,” Sekai confirmed. “But I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

“Oh come on,” Makoto said. “Can’t we go around together? We’re friends aren’t we? And lately we haven’t seen each other much with…” he hesitated.

He didn’t have to finish that. Kotonoha knew he was talking about her. She was taking up all his time.

“Let’s all go around together then,” Kotonoha suggested.

“Really, I don’t-”

“We insist,” Makoto said.

They gently pushed Sekai forward.

She smiled faintly.

“It’s been a while since it’s been just the three of us,” Sekai said.

She spoke with a weird nostalgia. As if this would never happen again.

Kotonoha decided not to investigate. She had other things on her mind.

They had lots of fun together. Even so, Kotonoha couldn’t help but feel like there was a weird tension between them.

Before she knew it, it was over.

“That was fun,” Makoto said. “But we’ll have to get back now. I have two more shifts.”

“Yeah, me too,” Kotonoha said. “I’ll come meet you when I’m free.”

He smiled. “I can’t wait.”

“Me neither.”

They kissed. A long deep kiss.

Sekai cleared her throat.

“Right, we should go. See you soon, Kotonoha.”

She nodded.

They both went back to their classes.

Kotonoha reached the haunted house. The girl sitting there wordlessly left her post when Kotonoha arrived.

Now, it was a bit busier, but everyone came for the Break Room. Kotonoha handed out condoms to everyone who asked for them. It was surprising all of this was still a secret. You’d expect a teacher to find out, but apparently not.

Finally, it was time. Kotonoha stood up.

“Where do you think you’re going?” A voice demanded.

Kotonoha looked up. Otome, joined by the Trio.

“My shift is over,” Kotonoha explained.

“Huh? Well you have to wait until the next person is here. You’re committee member.”

“I’ll just report to the teachers the next person isn’t here then.”

Otome looked a bit scared.

“What?” Kotonoha smiled. “You think they aren’t here just because it’s the festival? Silly girl.”

Otome grabbed her shirt. “Listen here you-”

Kotonoha grabbed Otome’s throat with one hand and squeezed hard.

Otome gasped.

“Don’t touch me,” Kotonoha warned her. Only Makoto could touch her.

Otome looked in fear to the Trio, but they seemed hesitant to interfere.

“What?” Kotonoha squeezed harder. “Is there a problem?”

Otome let go off her blazer. She looked really scared now.

“That’s better.”

Kotonoha let her go as well. She turned and walked away.

They didn’t try stopping her.

That was… extreme. 

Strange. She could usually control herself better, but now it was different. Something weird was going on here.

Kotonoha walked to the maid cafe. It was pretty deserted here.

She encountered someone familiar. A petite girl in a maid uniform.

“Hey, Kiyoura-san. Is Makoto here?”

“What do you mean? He left with Sekai five minutes ago.”

She frowned. “Did they say where they were going?”

“No.”

“Hm.”

She went outside again and called him. No answer.

Where the hell was he?

Kotonoha went outside to the bonfire. It wasn’t lit yet, but they would do it soon enough. He wasn’t here either.

She went back inside the building and searched. The school was almost completely deserted. Here and there, there were some people hurrying outside to the bonfire.

Eventually, she heard voices. At the back of the haunted house. In the Break Room.

“We can’t do this,” Makoto insisted..

“Stop worrying, she’s never gonna find out,” Sekai replied.

Kotonoha looked through a crack between two curtains. What was going on here?

“I have to go back,” Makoto said. “I promised I’d dance with Kotonoha.”

“Exactly. Everyone is dancing now. We’re all alone.”

Sekai undid the buttons of her blouse, revealing a baby blue bra.

Kotonoha’s mouth fell open.

“I have to go back,” Makoto repeated.

“Shh.” She took his hand and placed it on her breast. “Go ahead and touch them.”

“Sekai,” he said calmly. “You really think you can compete with Kotonoha?”

Kotonoha smiled behind the curtain.

“At least you can do whatever you want with them,” she snapped. “Does Kotonoha even let you touch them?”

“Of course. All the time. She even gives me a titty fuck when I want to. But I guess you can’t do that with these tiny… you call these boobs?”

She puffed up her cheeks. “I’ll show you what I can do.”

Sekai unzipped his pants and pulled them down along with his boxers.

“Stop that,” Makoto said.

She ignored him and sank to her knees.

Sekai opened her mouth wide and put his cock inside. She slowly bobbed her head up and down.

A curse escaped Makoto’s lips.

Mesmerised, Kotonoha slowly reached down and touched herself over her panties. They were already wet. But then again, she was permanently wet at this point.

“How is that?” Sekai asked. There was a satisfied smirk on her face.

Makoto chuckled. “You call that a blowjob? You’re a little virgin aren’t you?”

Sekai turned blood red.

“This is nothing compared to Kotonoha,” Makoto said. “ _ Nothing _ . She would have made me cum by now. And why is your bra still on? You really don’t know anything, do you?”

Sekai looked down, obviously very hurt.

“Are you done with your little show?” he asked. “My girlfriend is waiting for me.”

Sekai still kept silent. Kotonoha thought she could see tears appearing.

Makoto pulled up his pants and closed them again. He made for the exit.

“I’ll call him,” Sekai suddenly said. She stood up.

Makoto stopped. “Who?”

“You asked me a favor, don’t you remember? I still have the number. I’ll call that guy back and say I’m not a secretary at all.”

Both Makoto and Kotonoha were shocked.

“Y-You can’t do that. You have no idea what-”

Sekai sat down on the bed. “If you don’t want me to, come over here and fuck me. If I’m satisfied I’ll delete the number.”

“You bitch.”

“Oh come on. Does Kotonoha let you fuck her?”

“That’s none of your business.”

“I’ll take that as a no.” She reached beneath her skirt and removed her panties.

“You really want to do it like this?” he asked. “With blackmail.”

“I have no choice. You’re with Kotonoha now. This is my last chance.”

Chance?

Of course. Sekai knew Kotonoha intended to have sex with him, so she figured now was the only moment she had any shot at convincing him. Yet Makoto wouldn’t go for it. Even after all this time of frustration he wouldn’t do it.

“Your call,” Makoto said. “If this is how-”

“No no. You’re right,” Sekai suddenly said. She seemed to deflate a little. “I’m sorry. I just…”

“I don’t want to hear it. Take your phone and delete that number.”

She did as he asked. “There. Can we please-”

“No, we can’t. You have no idea what would have happened if you called that number. Don’t-” 

“I just want you so much, Makoto,” she pleaded. “I don’t even have…”

“Have what?”

“If I just had a memory then…” she sighed. “Now, whenever I see you with Kotonoha, my heart bleeds. Today was horrible.”

So that was why it had felt so weird? Sekai’s smiles were fake and something deep inside of her could tell. But Kotonoha had been blind to the truth. She didn’t  _ want _ to see this.

Her boyfriend sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Can we just… do it? Just once, please. Then I can think about that and distract myself whenever you’re with Kotonoha.”

“I can’t.”

“Please? Just one time.” She reached back and unhooked her bra. Sekai pushed it up, revealing her small breasts. They were pretty cute. Not nearly as big as Kotonoha’s chest, but they still had an appeal in their own way.

“Sekai. I can’t do this,” he insisted.

“Didn’t she say you could?”

“What?”

“She said she was a bad girlfriend right? You told me.”

“Yes. And she said she’d understand it if I dumped her. But I’m not going to dump her, Sekai. I would never do that.”

“If she’s such a bad girlfriend, then why don’t you let me fill in the gaps? Why don’t you let me do what she should have done all along?”

Sekai pulled her skirt up.

He looked away, but Kotonoha didn’t.

There was glistening wetness between Sekai’s legs. And she was clean shaven. Did she know Makoto’s preference? How?

“Look at it,” Sekai said. She spread her pussy open with her hands. “Don’t you want to fuck it?”

He didn’t look at her. “Sekai. Stop that.”

“Look at how wet it is from wanting your dick. Look at how hard you are.”

Kotonoha kept watching them. Her eyes were glued to the scene while her hand lazily rubbed over her soaked panties.

Sekai wasn’t the only one who was getting wet.

Kotonoha reached up with her free hand and gave her breast a squeeze. Her other hand slipped inside her panties so she could touch her pussy directly.

“I’m sorry,” Makoto said.

He walked away.

Oh fuck.

She quickly retracted her hands. Kotonoha looked around, but there was nowhere to run.

His eyes widened when he saw her.

“K-”

She brought her finger to her lips to indicate he had to stay quiet.

Kotonoha beckoned him away from the curtain.

They entered an empty classroom.

“You saw all of that?” Makoto asked.

“Sorry. I was looking for you and-”

“I’m sorry,” he said.

“You need to apologise to her,” Kotonoha said. “Not to me.”

“What?”

“You were very mean to her. I heard her crying when you left,” Kotonoha explained. “You really hurt her.”

“I can’t do what she asked me. I’m with you.”

“It… It’s okay,” she said. She didn’t know why she said that. This was so wrong. And yet…

“Kotonoha?”

“Isn’t this perfect?” she heard herself say. “This solves everything. I’m not ready to… to have real sex yet. I’m too scared. But I don’t think you should suffer the consequences for that. I’ve been thinking about how to fix this all day, but I couldn’t find anything. But what if…” her voice trailed off.

“I did it with Sekai instead?” he finished.

“Sekai is right, it’s okay if she fills in the gaps. It’s okay if she does what I should have done for you. I don’t think I have any right to complain if you do it with her. If I didn’t want that, I should have given you what you need myself.”

He hesitated. “But… you’re trying hard. I-”

“Not hard enough,” she said. “It’s okay. I want you to be happy. If I can’t give this to you, I won’t complain if someone else does it for me. Besides, it’s Sekai. She’s a friend and I trust her. You deserve this, Makoto. Here, take this.”

Kotonoha handed him two condoms from her pocket.

“I don’t know.” He didn’t ask why she had condoms with her. Or why she gave him two.

“What if I’m never ready?” she spoke her doubts. “What if I stay scared forever? You’re gonna stay a virgin all your life? I don’t want that.”

He frowned.

“You need this, Makoto,” she continued. “And if I can’t give it to you, then someone else should do it. You’ve waited long enough. It’s okay if-”

“Lift up your skirt,” Makoto suddenly ordered.

“W-What?”

“Lift up your skirt,” he repeated calmly. “Is that not clear?”

She wanted to say no, but out of habit, her hands reached to grab the edges of her skirt and lift it up. Obeying him just came naturally to her, she couldn’t resist it.

Makoto looked at her. The wet spot was blatantly obvious.

“Not so smart to pick out white panties this morning,” he pointed out. “Although they are pretty sexy.”

Kotonoha said nothing. She was blushing heavily now.

He reached out and touched her pussy over her panties. “You like watching?”

“A bit.” It was pointless to deny it. He was touching her treacherously wet pussy right now. The evidence was right there. It was dripping over his fingers through her panties.

“I can see that.” He rubbed her clit.

She bit her lip hard. “I just love seeing you happy, Makoto. Even if I’m not the one causing it. Just… Just seeing her suck you off made me feel incredible.”

“You want to watch us and play with yourself?”

“Can I?” she asked. “Please?”

“As long as you don’t cum.”

Her breath stopped for a moment. “W-What?”

“I want to be the one making you cum.”

“O-Okay.”

“And you won’t be needing these.” He pulled down her panties.

“Makoto,” she protested weakly.

“Step out of them.”

Kotonoha obeyed.

He put them in his back pocket.

“W-What if Sekai finds those?” 

“I’ll just tell her there is someone watching us.”   
“Y-You wouldn’t-”

“I’m the one deciding that,” he said. “Isn’t that right?”

She looked down. “Yes, Sir.”

He touched her pussy again. Directly this time.

She resisted the urge to cum right there.

“You’re mine.”

“Y-Yes. I’m all yours.” This was way too hot.

“I’m gonna go in there and fuck Sekai. And you’re gonna watch me and play with yourself.”   
“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl. No cumming. Promise me.”

“I won’t cum, I promise.”

He retracted his hand.

“I love you,” he said. “Only you.”

“Me too.”

They kissed.

“You should go,” Kotonoha said. “While she’s still there.”

He nodded.

They went back to the Break Room.

Kotonoha went to stand at a tiny gap in the curtain.

Makoto stood next to her.

“Kneel,” he whispered.

She obeyed immediately.

“Good girl.” He lifted her chin and leaned down to give her a long tongue kiss.

Suddenly, he retracted. She reached forward, hungry for more.

“Enjoy the show,” he whispered.

Kotonoha nodded slowly.

He went inside.

Sekai yelped when he entered. She pulled her shirt in front of her. “Oh, it’s you.” She visibly relaxed. “What are you doing here?”

“I was gonna go to Kotonoha,” he said. “But then…”

Makoto sat down next to her and sighed.

“Then what?” Sekai insisted.

“Then I just thought… What if I never get this chance again? Kotonoha is… she’s a nice girlfriend, but in the bedroom she’s just so… so shy.”

“Didn’t she give you a striptease once?”

“Even so, when it comes to having real sex… nothing. I don’t want to stay a virgin all my life. So, well… if you offer still stands.”

Sekai showed a real smile this time. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him passionately.

Makoto gently pushed her off.

“Just so we’re clear: this is just one time,” he said. “I’m not gonna dump Kotonoha.”

“One time is more than enough for me,” Sekai said.   
“Okay.”

He leaned in again. They continued kissing.

Kotonoha reached beneath her skirt.

This was so hot.

Makoto’s hands started working Sekai’s tiny breasts.

“I’m sorry they are not as big as-”

“Shh,” he shushed her by kissing her again.

Makoto kept playing with her breasts. “I’m sorry about everything I said.”

“It’s okay. You’re here now.”

Kotonoha unhooked her own bra and shifted it up. She mimicked his movements on her own chest.

Makoto reached down with one hand and touched Sekai’s pussy.

Unfortunately Kotonoha didn’t get a good view because the skirt was in the way.

It was like Makoto knew this though, because he made Sekai stand up and take off her skirt. He made her take off her blouse and bra as well so she was fully naked. 

“Put a foot on the bed,” he said.

“M-Makoto-”

“If you want to do this you’re gonna have to do as I say. Or I’ll go-”

“No, no. Stay.”

Slowly, she moved her foot on the bed so her legs were open.

Sekai was really embarrassed. Luckily she didn’t know Kotonoha had a perfect view from her position.

He came standing very close and rubbed her pussy. 

They were both fully aware he was still dressed while she was completely naked.

Kotonoha moved one hand down and repeated his motions. When he put in two fingers, she did the same. When Sekai moaned loudly, Kotonoha bend her fingers until she found her G-spot. She had to suppress her moans.

Suddenly, Makoto pushed her down so she sat on the edge of the bed. Sekai instinctively closed her legs. Makoto kneeled and forced her legs open.

Wait a sec, was he going to…

Kotonoha froze, as did Sekai.

He leaned forward and licked her…

Fuck.

Kotonoha felt her pelvic muscles contract a few times in frustration. She started rubbing again. Harder this time, more desperate.

Makoto hadn’t ever done that to her. He had said ‘another time’ back then, but it had never come up again. And she had been too busy worrying about other things to remind him.

She should be angry, but somehow the frustration only added to her arousal.

Sekai threw her head back. She was pretty noisy. It had to feel really good.

Kotonoha couldn’t even imagine how it felt to have Makoto’s tongue on your… 

“Don’t stop,” Sekai pleaded.

Makoto redoubled his efforts.

“Makoto, I’m-” Sekai screamed. A tremor went through her body.

After a few moments, she calmed down again.

“Wow,” she said, out of breath.

“Did that feel good?”

“That was amazing,” she said. She showed him a satisfied smile. “Kotonoha is a lucky girl.”

He grinned. “Indeed.”

Kotonoha stopped touching for a bit.

She was getting too close. Any more and she would tip over.

“I want you.” Sekai kissed him.

While kissing, she fumbled with his pants until she managed to get them open.

“You’ve got protection?” Sekai asked between kisses.

“Yeah.” He pulled out a condom from his pocket.

Sekai opened it. Carefully, she put it on.

“Hm, you’re good at that.”

“It’s not so hard.”

“Well I think I’m pretty hard.”

She smirked. “True.”

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

Sekai laid down on the bed and opened her legs.

Makoto took of his clothes and positioned himself in front of her.

“Lean down on your hands,” he said. “I want to look at you.”

She frowned. “Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Alright then.” Sekai moved her head up and leaned back on her elbows. “Can you see me better now?” She seemed a bit confused.

“Yeah. That’s better.”

For Makoto it was the same, but Kotonoha had a much better view now.

“I’m gonna put it in,” Makoto announced.

“O-Okay.” Sekai sounded a bit frightened now.

Kotonoha started touching again.

He rubbed his cock over her pussy lips for a bit.

“Stop teasing me,” Sekai said.

He smirked. “As you wish.”

Gently, but firmly, Makoto pushed his cock inside of her virgin pussy.

Sekai’s face twisted in pain.

“Fuck.”

“Just take it,” he told her. Relentlessly, he pushed it in deeper.

“Ah,” she breathed hard. “It hurts.”

“It’s gonna get better,” he assured her.

“Please. Give me a sec.”

He stopped pushing. His cock was about halfway in now.

“You’re so big,” Sekai said, breathless.

He grinned. “I know.”

“It’s never gonna fit.”

“It will,” he assured her. “Just relax. We’ll take things slow.”

He played with her breasts.

Sekai visible relaxed. She moaned when he rolled her nipples between his fingers.

Kotonoha pushed a third finger inside of her pussy. She was really wet.

She wanted Sekai to ask if it felt good for him, but unfortunately there was no way to do that without revealing her presence.

“Okay,” Sekai said. “Let’s continue.”

“You sure?”

“I can take it.”

Slowly, he started moving deeper.

Sekai bit her lip.

After some hesitant thrusts, they established a slow rhythm. Makoto didn’t go in all the way though. He stopped about three quarters of-

“Fuck.”

“What’s wrong?” Sekai asked.

“I’m gonna-”

He suddenly sped up.

“Ah, Makoto.” Sekai grimaced.

Wait, no.

Kotonoha stopped touching. She was gonna cum with him.

Even without touching, she felt her orgasm bubbling up inside.

No, no.

Kotonoha slapped her pussy hard. She repeated it a few times.

The urge to tip over went away. The stinging pain was a good distraction.

Makoto would be the only one cumming.

Completely mesmerised, she watched him cum inside Sekai.

When it was over, he basically collapsed on top of her. His head was on her chest.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, not looking up.

“Shh.” She combed her fingers through his hair. “It’s okay.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll just try again.”

“Hm.” He lifted his head. “I do have another condom with me. But I’m not gonna stay hard.”   
“Just leave it to me.”

“Alright.”

“Take it out please.”

He pulled out his cock. Strangely, there was no blood on it.

Sekai crouched down in front of him and carefully removed the used condom. She tied it in a knot and tossed it aside. Then, she opened her mouth wide and took him in.

Makoto hissed between his breath.

“I’ll get you hard again,” Sekai said. “And then we’ll try again.”

He nodded. “I like that idea.”

“Will you give me some pointers?” she asked. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Sure.”

He put his hand on the back of her head and showed her how he liked it.

Kotonoha slowly started touching again.

Sekai was clearly an amateur and could only take him in halfway before she started gagging. She also cheated by jerking him off at the same time. Basically it was a handjob with some tongue action.

He didn’t say anything though. If Kotonoha had done it like that, he wouldn’t settle for it. But with Sekai he didn’t bother. But then again, there wasn’t really time enough to teach her how to do it properly.

Kotonoha felt a strange satisfaction. At least she could do this better than Sekai. And it didn’t look like Sekai’s chest was large enough to try a paizuri. Kotonoha was better in every single department. If only she wasn’t so scared to let him fuck her, it would be perfect. Sekai was nothing compared to her.

Even so, her amateur blowjob managed to get him hard again after a few minutes.

“That will do,” Sekai said. “Let’s try again,”

“I’ll last longer this time,” he promised.

She got back on the bed in the same position as last time.

Makoto put it in again. It went a bit smoother this time, but it clearly still hurt for Sekai.

When she was over the initial pain, he established a slow rhythm.

Kotonoha pushed two fingers inside of her pussy and matched his pace.

Suddenly, having real sex didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore. She was fingering her pussy right now, the only difference would be that Makoto’s cock was way bigger. And that he controlled the pacing and depth.

Sekai was starting to relax more. Her gasps turned into moans. Makoto increased his pace.

“Makoto?”

“Hm?”

“I want on top.”

“Okay.”

Makoto pulled out. He lied down on the bed with his head towards Kotonoha.

Sekai seemed momentarily confused that he had turned around instead of just lying down, but she still got on top of him.

With some trying, she managed to get his dick back inside of her. Sekai put her hands on either side of his head and rocked her hips back and forth. After a few clumsy attempts, she found a good rhythm. Her breasts bounced a little with every thrust.

Kotonoha had a very good view. Her angle couldn’t be much better. If Sekai looked up she would look right at her.

Now that Sekai could control the depth and speed, it seemed to hurt less. She was getting more confident.

Makoto met one of her thrusts, forcing his cock in much deeper.

“Ah, Makoto.”

He grinned. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist.”

“Be gentle, it’s my first time.”

“You mean like this?” He swooped down and sucked on her breasts.

“Ah.” She seemed to like that. Sekai slowly started riding him again.

They kept going for a while, but Makoto eventually got bored of her slow riding.

“You want to change positions?” Sekai asked, sensing his mood.

“Yeah.”

“Alright.”

She got off him.

“Which way-”

Makoto pushed her down.

“So forceful,” Sekai said, but she didn’t seem to mind much.

She got on her hands and knees for him. Makoto got behind her and pushed his cock inside.

Kotonoha couldn’t see well, but given Sekai’s face, she guessed he had gone in all the way on the first thrust.

Sekai cursed.

“You okay?” he asked, pausing for a sec.

“Yeah, keep going.”

Makoto grabbed her hips and started thrusting very hard.

Sekai held her own hand in front of her mouth to muffle her screams. Whether it was pain or pleasure wasn’t really clear. Probably both.

“Damn,” he said after a while. “Are you cumming?”

“Almost,” she replied, out of breath. “Keep going, please.”

“Tell me when you’re cumming.”

“O-Okay.”

Kotonoha stopped touching herself. She wouldn’t be able to stop otherwise. Her pussy spasmed a few times in frustration.

She folded her hands behind her back and kept watching them.   
Sekai started breathing harder and harder. Not long after, she announced she was cumming. Her head fell down on the bed.

Makoto slowed down but kept fucking her.

“Makoto,” she said. “I’m sensitive.”

“I’m almost there too.”

“O-Okay. Keep going.”

Kotonoha resisted the strong urge to touch again.

Makoto sped up. A few moments later, he grunted and came too.

Two orgasms for Makoto, two for Sekai, and zero for her. This was so unfair. She should just ignore him and make herself cum.

And yet…

Kotonoha sighed.

Sekai and Makoto both lied down on their back, breathing hard. Both were covered in sweat.

It was silent for a while as everyone, including Kotonoha, calmed down.

Eventually, Sekai got up and helped Makoto take off the condom.

“We should probably go,” Makoto said.

“Right.” 

They both got dressed.

Kotonoha got up too. Her knees were sore from kneeling all this time on the floor. She pulled down her socks to check and found they were quite red.

There was more noise in the Break Room.

She had to get out of sight. Sekai couldn’t see her.

Kotonoha walked around the Break Room and hid behind the curtain at the back.

She heard them leave some time later. 

When she was certain they were gone, she sneaked inside.

Makoto and Sekai didn’t know, but there was something inside this Break Room. Chie had placed it there. She probably thought Kotonoha hadn’t noticed. A silly mistake.

Kotonoha picked up the camera hidden behind a curtain.

It looked pretty expensive. Motion activated.

Oh well. It was hers now. Divine justice for trying to film your classmates like this.

Kotonoha turned it off and put it in her bag.

Maybe she could rewatch it sometime with Makoto?


	24. Chapter 24

Her phone vibrated. Kotonoha checked it. 

[Sekai is going home. I’m on the roof. You coming?]

[On my way,] she send back.

Kotonoha went to him. Her knees protested when she took the stairs up. 

It was a bad idea to kneel for so long on the floor. But Makoto had ordered her to kneel and watch them, so she had done it. She was a good girlfriend. Makoto would be so happy with her.

She arrived on the roof.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hey.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.

“I love you,” he said. “So much.”

She smiled. “Me as well.”

“Sorry for bringing you up here. Are you cold?”

“A bit.”

He took off his jacket. “Here you go.”

Makoto wrapped it around her shoulders.

“Thanks.”

“I wanted to do it here.”

“Do what?” Was he planning to… “Y-You just did it with Sekai. I only agreed to that because-”

“Not that,” he calmed her. “The dance.”

She frowned. “Dance?”

“Well the folk dance is over, but I figured we could do it right here.”

He fiddled with his phone. A song started playing. Makoto put it down on the bench.

“It’s not gonna go much louder, I’m afraid,” he said. “I wasn’t prepared for this.”

Kotonoha was speechless.

He held out his hand. “You ready?”

“Ah, of course.”

She put down her bag on the bench and took his hand.

He led her into a dance.

“You really did practice,” Kotonoha said.

“Of course I did. You thought I was lying?”

“Of course not.”

They turned quiet and kept dancing. Kotonoha just stared into his eyes and danced until the song stopped.

It was silent for a long moment. But eventually, Kotonoha broke it.

“What happened with Sekai,” she started. “That was just one time, right?”

Makoto hesitated. “Maybe.”

“What do you mean? We agreed this was just once.” He was twisting things around again, like he always did. He couldn’t just-

“Kotonoha,” he said. “Can you calm down? You’re the one that suggested to do this in the first place.”

“Well, that’s true, but-”

“So why did you say that if you only wanted to do it once? I only did it because you asked me to. But you’re making it sound like I’m the one who asked for this. I’m the one doing  _ you _ a favor, not the other way around.”

“Well it’s awfully convenient that your favor includes this,” she snapped. “You sure didn’t mind doing it.”

“Well I’m sorry if I enjoyed myself too.” He was getting angry as well. “I forgot it only counts if I hate it.”

Kotonoha bit her lip. “I just meant-”

“I don’t know why you’re getting angry at me. I did nothing wrong. If you weren’t so prude none of this would have happened in the first place.”

“That…” she hesitated.

“Why can’t I just do it right here? With you, not with Sekai.”

She looked away. “I’m sorry I got angry. You’re right. But I just… just, wait a bit longer for me please. I want to do it right.”

“How long? A day? A week? A year? A lifetime? I can’t take this anymore, Kotonoha.”

“Not long,” she promised him.

This was difficult. She needed something from Sekai, but after what happened it looked like-

“Maybe I’ll just keep doing it with Sekai then,” he said.

“I don’t want that. This was just-”

“You say that, but your cunt betrays your true feelings.”

Her breath stopped. “M-My what?”

His tone was very strange.

Makoto’s hand went beneath her skirt to touch her. “See, your pussy is soaking wet. Why is it so wet?”

“That is…”  

Fuck, that felt good. She should stop him, but-

He rubbed her clit. “Isn’t it wet because you really like watching me? Because you want me to be satisfied? Because you want to be a good girlfriend?”

“I do want to be good, but…” She bit her lip. It was difficult to focus. 

“But what?” his other hand went beneath her shirt and grabbed her boob. Her bra was still loose from before so he could easily twist and pull on her nipples.

“Ah… stop it please.” She grabbed his arm.

“Hands behind your back,” he calmly ordered.

“I-I don’t want to.”

“Yes you do. Don’t lie to me, Kotonoha. Hands away.”

Hesitantly, she folded her hands behind her back. Maybe he was right? Maybe she did want this? Why else was she obeying? And why was she getting dripping wet?

“I think you want me to keep fucking Sekai,” he said. “You’ve never been this wet before. You’re just pretending you don’t want it.”

“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” she argued.

“That’s right. You’re not thinking clearly. So I’m helping you out. This is what you want, just admit it.”

“Ah, but-”   
He slapped her pussy hard. “No buts.”

Kotonoha struggled to say something. He was keeping her right on the edge of an orgasm.

No, wait. She was doing it herself. Kotonoha could cum right now, but she was afraid of how he would react if she did.

“Your body is being honest,” Makoto continued. “It keeps making these lewd noises.”

She tried to stop herself from moaning. But even if she managed that, the wet sounds from his fingers on her pussy wouldn’t stop.

Makoto pushed two fingers inside her. They slipped in easily.

She couldn’t think clearly anymore. She couldn’t think at all anymore.

Or maybe she could?

“Please stop,” she begged. “I can’t-”

“Do you trust me?”

“Of course.”   
“You’re just confused again, Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “Let me help you.”

She breathed hard. “You’re twisting everything around.”

He was literally twisting her nipples right now in fact.

Kotonoha tried to calm herself. She had to stop this. Makoto was trying to convince her she-

“I thought you trusted me?” He pulled his hand back.

She gasped and instinctively grabbed his wrist. “No.”

“Hands behind your back,” he calmly ordered.

“Ah, sorry.” She quickly put her hand on her back. “Just… keep touching me please.”

“No,” he said sternly. “Not while you are lying to yourself. You don’t deserve it. Only good girls get touched.”

She bit her lip.

Maybe… Maybe he was right?

Why was she getting so wet if she didn’t want this? Why did she want his fingers back on her so desperately?

Maybe she should just trust Makoto? If he said she wanted this, it had to be true, right? Makoto didn’t lie to her. And her body was so…

“P-Please,” she begged.

“No.”

“No, please… Kiss me. Tell me you’ll only love me.” Their eyes locked.

He leaned in and kissed her softly. “I love you, Kotonoha. Only you.”

“W-When you were doing it with Sekai.”

“I was thinking of you,” he assured her.

“D-Did it feel good for you?” she asked.

“Yeah. It felt amazing.”

She nodded. “Then I’m happy. As long as you feel good. That’s all that matters.”

“You felt good as well, didn’t you?” He put his hand on her thigh.   
“Y-Yes. It felt good for me to. It felt good to see you getting pleasure.”

“What’s the problem then? It makes us both feel good. Why are you being difficult?”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s okay if you do it again.”

He slapped her pussy. “Say it like you want to.”

“Ah,” she gritted her teeth. “Please let me watch again. I want to see you fuck another girl.”

“There you go. Now you’re being honest.” He gave her another kiss. At the same time, his fingers shifted to touch her pussy again.

“Ah. Makoto.”

“Hm?”

“I want to cum.”

“You want to cum for me?” He rubbed her pussy hard.

She had never been this close before. “Y-Yes please.”

“Look at me.”

She looked in his eyes.

“Now you can cum.”

Fuck.

Kotonoha’s body kept shaking while Makoto held her up.

After a while, she regained some consciousness.

Makoto gently sat her down on the bench. She felt her skirt stick to her wet pussy.

“That was-”

“What do you say?” Makoto said.

“Thank you,” she blurted out. “Thank you so much. That was amazing.”   
“Good girl.”

He patted her head.

Makoto sat next to her. She put her head on his chest.

Her boyfriend wrapped his arm around her and let her rest for a bit.

She needed a while to recover from her orgasm.

As she rested, she became more and more aware of how cold it was, even with Makoto embracing her and his jacket on her. 

“We better get inside,” Makoto said. “I don’t want you to catch a cold.”

She was getting cold. But there was still something she had to say.

“Makoto, I…”

“Let’s go inside first.”

“Okay.”

He swept her up in his arms.

“Makoto, you don’t need to-”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“My bag,” she said.

He handed it to her.

Makoto carried her downstairs. Only when they were in the hallway did he put her down again.

At least it was a lot warmer in here.

Kotonoha sighed.

“I know I said a lot of things,” Kotonoha said. “But-”

“It was all a lie?” he asked.

“No, it was… theory. I have fantasies, Makoto, but that doesn’t mind I want to act on every single one. You… you’re…”

“I never said we should act on them,” Makoto said.

“Yes you did.”

“As did you,” he reminded her. “You’re the one who started all this in the first place.”

“Yes, but I wasn’t really thinking clearly.”

He took her hands. “Look, I don’t think you can blame me for doing it with Sekai. You asked me to. You had to convince me. You even handed me condoms.”

“I don’t blame you for that. But up on the roof-”

“You’re angry I made you cum?”

“No, no,” she quickly said. “I’m really grateful. But… you… you made me say things. Promise things. Things I don’t feel comfortable actually doing.”

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “I’m not gonna have sex with anyone else. Not unless you ask me to.”

“I  _ did _ ask you. Just now, on the roof. You made me ask you. You made me beg you.”

“I mean… if there is another opportunity to sleep with another girl, I’ll ask you. I won’t just do it on my own. Besides, didn’t you say you wanted to watch?”

“I don’t want you sleeping with other girls,” she insisted. “What happened with Sekai was… I felt guilty for making you wait so long and I thought I had an easy way to get rid of my guilt.”

“I think you want me to sleep with other girls. You want me to be satisfied. You like watching me.”

“Makoto-”

“It’s okay. It’s fine if you’re not yet ready to admit it. It’s difficult to admit, I understand.”

“You don’t understand,” she snapped. “You-”

“That’s enough,” he cut her off.

Kotonoha closed her mouth. Somehow, his tone made her silent right away. She felt very weak in her knees all of a sudden.

“You have no reason to be angry at me. I just promised you I wouldn’t sleep with any other girl unless you asked me to. So why are you angry? Because I think you want this? I think deep inside you want what you just begged for on the roof. Am I not allowed to have a different opinion?”

“Of course you are,” she mumbled.

“Apparently not, given your outburst.”

“I’m sorry.”

A lingering silence fell. Kotonoha started fidgeting. She felt more and more uncomfortable.

“Let’s just go home,” Makoto said eventually.

“Can I sleep over tonight?” she asked. “Please?”

There was no way she could go home all by herself at this hour. And she didn’t want to sleep alone.

“Hm. Alright then.”

Makoto didn’t seem very enthusiastic about it, but he had said yes and that was what mattered.

They went outside and walked to the station together. Kotonoha took his hand. He didn’t stop her.

They walked to the station in silence and got on the first train.

“Makoto?” she asked.

“Hm?”

“Do you really want to sleep with other girls?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. How would that even work? What girl would just settle for sleeping together without anything else?”

“Sekai?” she suggested.

“That was just once. I’m sure she’d want more if this kept happening. And I’m with you so I can’t do that.”   
“Maybe…”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Another lingering silence fell.

“This is our stop,” Makoto said eventually.

“Oh, right.”

They got off the train and walked to his house.

There was no one home. Or his mom had already gone to bed. Probably the latter.

“It’s pretty late,” Makoto said. “Let’s go to bed, I’m tired.”

“Me too.”

They both got ready for bed. Makoto was faster than her. He was waiting for her on his bed when she entered, dressed only in his boxers. The nightlight was on.

Kotonoha closed the door and stood next to the bed. She unzipped her skirt and pulled it down. Normally she would put it away neatly, but it was late and-

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha asked. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason.” He smiled faintly.

“Can I have my panties back?” she asked. “You still have them.”

“Maybe.”

“I don’t have any spares with me,” she explained.

“Good.” He flashed her a broad smile.

She shook her head. Unbelievable.

Kotonoha unbuttoned her blouse. “I do need panties tomorrow. I can’t just walk around all day without them.”

“Why not?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Yes, that’s one of the reasons I like it.”

She sighed. “Well I need to go home anyway because I need other clothes too. I’m not gonna walk around in my school uniform all day.”

“I guess.”   
She reached back to take off her bra.

“Maybe you should leave some clothes here in case you sleep over,” he suggested.

She froze.

“Kotonoha?”

“Huh?”

“You need help taking off your bra?”

“I do, actually.”

She sat down on the bed with her back towards him.

Makoto touched her shoulders. Slowly, he unhooked it and pulled down the straps. On the way, his fingers brushed past her breasts.

He slowly started to massage them.

Kotonoha leaned back on his shoulder. They kissed.

Their kiss quickly turned into tongue kissing while he worked her breasts.

His hands trailed down over her belly towards her-

“Ah, that’s right,” Kotonoha suddenly said. “I forgot something important.”

She jumped up.

“Can’t it wait until tomorrow?” he asked.

“No, it’s really important, I need to tell you right now.” Kotonoha opened her bag and took something out.

Makoto frowned. “A camera?”

“It was in the Break Room.” She got back on the bed.

He frowned even harder. “Did you set this up?”

“No no,” she assured him. “I saw Chie doing it.”

“Ashikaga?”

“Yeah. She wanted to film her classmates and show everyone, I think.”

“Hm.” He picked up the camera. “Well she can’t show them now.”

“Indeed. You are on it, so I figured…” she hesitated.

“Yes?” he pressed her.

“If you want to watch it together sometime. And I could maybe,” she twisted a hairlock around. “Suck you off while you watch.”

“Ye, Kotonoha. You’re so perverted.”

“I’m sorry,” she blurted out. “I’m just-”

“Don’t apologise for that, Kotonoha. You’re just being honest. I really like it.”

She blinked a few times. “Yes… honest.”

Of course she wanted this. She wanted Makoto to be happy, right?

Makoto put the camera down. “You’re thinking of other things too, aren’t you?” He reached over and rubbed her pussy. Kotonoha gasped.

“W-We’re just talking of… of thought, right?” she asked. “Just fantasies.”

“That’s what I asked, didn’t I?” he kissed her neck.

“Well, we can… watch the others as well. If you want to. I think some of your classmates are on there.”

He smiled. “Yeah. That could be fun.” He slipped two fingers inside of her pussy.

“Maybe you could send them the recordings and blackmail them,” Kotonoha suggested. She kissed him hard, desperate.

“You mean you want to watch me fuck more girls?” he asked.

Kotonoha blushed. “Maybe.”

“Stop lying.” He put his lips on her neck again and sucked.

She didn’t want to say it, but… 

Kotonoha swallowed hard. “As long as you’re happy.”

He seemed satisfied with that.

Makoto slowly pushed her down on her back.

Oh no.

“W-We should go to sleep,” Kotonoha said.

“Now?”

“You said you were tired, didn’t you?”

“Well, yes, but-”

“So am I.”

She turned on her side.

“Fine,” he said.

He got off her.

Makoto put away the camera before lying down next to her.

“Will you hold me please?”

He wrapped his arm around her so they were spooning.

“Like this?”

“Yes. Thanks.”

She felt something hard poking against her butt, but she ignored it.

“Good night, Makoto.”

“Yeah, good night.”

“I love you.”

“...”


	25. Chapter 25

“Morning, beautiful.”

Kotonoha yawned. “Morning.”

She had slept really well. Makoto holding her in his arms probably had a lot to do with that.

He was still holding her now. His hands slowly crawled upwards to cup her breasts. Kotonoha smiled and settled into his arms.

Then, realised there was something very hard pressing against her butt.

Makoto only had to pull his boxers down and he could put it right in. The thought was very-

“How about we go to the pool today?” Kotonoha quickly said. “It’s been a while.” 

She stood up.

“Sounds fun,” he mumbled. He didn’t seem keen on getting out of bed.

“I’ll go home and pick up my bikini and some clothes.” Where were her clothes?   
“Is there something wrong? You’re acting weird.”   
“No,” she lied as she put on her bra.

He grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her back down on the bed.

“Either you tell me what’s going on, or you tell me it’s none of my business. But don’t lie to me, Kotonoha. I know something is wrong.”

“Stop that.” She pulled out of his grasp and got back up. “I don’t like it when you’re so forceful.”

“And I don’t like it when you hide things from me.”

A strained silence fell.

She should probably apologise.

“It’s nothing important.” Kotonoha put on her skirt. “I’ll meet you at Sakakino, okay?”

“You don’t want me to come with you?”

She closed the buttons of her blouse. “No. You seem tired, so you can keep snoozing for a bit. Can I have my panties?”

He picked them up from the nightstand. “Maybe.”

“Makoto,” she said. “You’ve had enough fun now.”   
“Convince me,” he said.

Kotonoha sighed. She gave him a short peck on the lips.

“That’s hardly convincing.”

She kissed him again. A long tongue kiss this time.

“Satisfied?” she asked.

“Almost.”

“Makoto,” she insisted. “I’m really not in the mood.”

“Alright you can have them,” he said. “If you tell me what’s wrong.”

She sighed. She might as well say it because he clearly wouldn't give up.

“I uhm… I want our next time to be… real sex. Does that make sense?”

“Not really. But then again, you’re usually not making much sense.”

“I-I want it, Makoto,” she said. “I want it so bad. After watching Sekai, I just… I can hardly control myself anymore. Last night was… so hard. I just wanted to do it.”

“So it’s the exact opposite? You’re  _ too much _ in the mood?”

“I guess so.” She twisted a loose hairlock around.

“But why didn’t you do it then? If you want it, and I want it, then-”   
“No,” she cut him off. “I want to, but I’m gonna regret it later. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. You’ve been waiting so patiently for me. I want to do it properly. Not just… normal.”

“What does that mean?”

“I just need to take care of some things first,” she told him. “It shouldn’t take that long. A few days at the most. But in the meantime, I-”

“You’re scared things are gonna get out of hand?”

“Yeah. And then it’s all ruined.”

“And that’s why you want to go to a public pool.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been waiting for so long, what’s a few more days?”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll meet you at the pool then.” He lied back down.

“Okay.” She held out her hand.

Makoto gave her the panties. She put them on right away.

Kotonoha could smell her own arousal on them. But this was the only pair she had and it beat going commando. Although for some reason, the thought of going commando made her wet again.

Maybe it would have been…  _ okay  _ if Makoto had kept it up and not given her those panties.

But there was no way she could ask him to do that.

“Okay, I’m going then,” Kotonoha said.

“Hold on.”

He pulled her closer so they could share one more kiss. The kiss made her reconsider leaving.

But she had to.

Kotonoha broke it off before she would lose control.

“I miss you already.”

“Me too.”

She went outside. She could see Maskoto turn on his side before she closed the door.

Kotonoha walked to the station.

On the train, she took out her phone. She wanted to dial Sekai, but then she reconsidered. It was still early. It had been late for Sekai as well, so she was probably still sleeping. Best to call her a bit later.

The train arrived at her stop. She lost her balance and reached for Makoto, but he wasn’t there. She was more scared by that than she should have been.

However, she eventually managed to grab onto a pole and balance herself.

The doors open. Kotonoha quickly got out.

Taking the train was scary. What if someone harassed her right now? She wouldn’t be able to do anything. She was pretty much helpless alone.

No, no, this was silly. It wasn’t the middle of the night. There were plenty of people out here. No one would harass her out in public.

Even so, she walked home on a quicker pace than strictly necessary.

Kotonoha had expected no one to be home, but she was wrong.

“Kotonoha.”

She immediately sensed something was very wrong. She slowly peered inside the living room.

“Yes mom?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” her mother demanded.

“Mom? What are you talking about?” Kotonoha entered.

Her mom took out…

Oh no.

“I found this in your room.”

“What are you doing in my room?” Kotonoha snapped. She closed the rest of their distance quickly.

“What are you doing with a…” Manami hesitated. “A…”

“It’s called a shock collar,” Kotonoha barked. “And it’s none of your business. Stay out of my room.”

She grabbed the collar from her mom’s hand.

“I found something else too,” Manami said.

“I swear, if you-”

Her mother took out a cell phone. Her dad’s cell phone.

Kotonoha froze instantly.

“I called the last dialed number,” Manami said calmly. “Can you believe my surprise when Sekai picked up? Sekai was your classmate, right?”

Kotonoha’s eyes widened. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She tried to grab the phone, but Manami held it out of her reach.

“Why do you have his phone?” her mom demanded, finally getting angry.

“As a memento.”

A silence fell. What she said was technically true.

“What?” Manami seemed confused.

“You think I haven’t noticed? You’re moving all his pictures, you’ve locked his study and you’re getting rid of his clothes. It’s like he never existed.”

“So you’ve been in my room too then?”

Kotonoha said nothing.

“I called the cops,” Manami said. “They told me that the last dialed number was his secretary and she said they were having an affair. But his secretary is still here and she doesn’t know where he is either. What’s going on here, Kotonoha?”

She had to do something. Everything was going to unravel.

“Okay,” Kotonoha admitted. “I do know something.”

“Yes?”   
“It’s a long story. Why don’t I make us some tea?”

Manami hesitated. “Hm, okay then.”

Kotonoha went to the kitchen. She closed the door behind her.

That was close. Very close.

But there was still a way out of this.

She started on the tea. When she was done, she walked back with a tray.

“Here you go.” She handed her mom a mug, careful to pick the right one.

Manami took a sip. “Hm, weird taste.”

“Maybe you should put some sugar in it?” Kotonoha suggested.

“Oh, right.” She put in a few spoons of sugar, stirred and drank deep. “That’s better.”

“Okay so… dad… he uhm…”

“Yes?” Manami urged her.

“He had an affair. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, the affair is… it’s with…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He met Sekai during the last festival and they started talking and… you know… things happen.” 

_ Come on, start working. _

“That’s insane. That’s not even legal.”

“That’s exactly why he asked me to keep it a secret. He knew you would-”   
“You bet I will.” Manami jumped up. She winced. Her hand went to her head. “I… I feel weird.”

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha faked. They worked pretty fast apparently.

“I don’t know.” Manami sat down again. “I just feel…”   
She put her head down and fell asleep.

Kotonoha let out her breath. That was close.

She quickly pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

“We have a problem.”

[Can’t find your bikini?] He asked. [Well I guess you’ll have to swim nak-]

“My mom found out.”

[What?] His playful tone vanished right away.

“She found my dad’s phone and-”

[You mean the phone I told you to destroy?] he asked sharply.

Her legs started shaking. Kotonoha quickly said down.

“I…” she swallowed hard.

[What have you done with her?] he asked.

“I-I gave her sleeping pills.”

[Hm. At least you didn’t fuck that up.]

“I’m so sorry. I should have-”

[Save your apology for later. First we need to fix this. Well,  _ I _ need to fix this.]

“O-Okay.”

[Stay right there. I’m coming.]

She nodded, completely forgetting she was on the phone.

Only a few minutes later did she realise she was no longer calling him.

Kotonoha lowered her phone again and stared in front of her.

_ It was okay _ , she told herself. Makoto could fix this.

Eventually, her phone vibrated.

[I’m here.]

She went to open the door.

“Makoto.” Kotonoha fell into his arms.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He patted her back. Gently, he pushed her back inside and closed the door.

“I’m so sorry. I know I promised I’d destroy it, but… I just couldn’t.”

“You promised me.”

“I know, but-”

“But  _ what _ ?” he snapped. “Don’t give me your stupid excuses, Kotonoha. You endangered  _ everything _ . Do you want us to go to jail?”

“No… I…” wait a sec. “ _ Us _ ?”

“Oh, you never considered I would be in trouble too? I got rid of the body for you, that’s accessory. If this comes to a trial, I’m doomed.”

“I never thought-”

“That’s right, you don’t think,” he said coldly. “Why don’t you just leave the thinking to me? Just do as you’re told, Kotonoha. Or is that too hard for you? Cause apparently it is.”

Kotonoha burst into tears. She fell down on her knees. “I’m so sorry. I’m completely useless.”

“Hey,” he softened his tone. “Come here.”

Makoto held out his hand.

“No.”

“Do as you’re told, Kotonoha,” he ordered coldly.

Scared, she reached out and took his hand.

He pulled her up and hugged her again.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he assured her. “I’ll take care of this.”

Makoto held her in silence for a while. She kept shaking and sobbing.

Then, gently, he led her in the living room and put her down on the couch.

Kotonoha wiped her tears away.

“I promise,” she said. “I’ll do anything you tell me to. I can’t be trusted to make my own decisions. Please make them for me.”

“I will.”

“I’m sorry I’m such a bother.”

Makoto said nothing.

“Will you…” Kotonoha hesitated.

“Tell me,” he urged her.

She picked up the shock collar from the coffee table.

“Collar me, please.” She wanted him to… to take ownership of her.

He nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I understand.”

Makoto put the collar around her neck.

He took out a small padlock from his pocket and locked it in place.

“W-Where… where did you get that?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.” There was probably a reasonable explanation for it. Maybe he had a dream that he would need a padlock. But it didn’t matter in the end. She trusted Makoto.

Kotonoha handed him the remote. “You have to punish me for not destroying that phone.”

She knew it had to be done. And Makoto seemed to realise it as well.

“Alright. Ready?”

She nodded.

He navigated to a number and pressed the button.

Kotonoha yelped. She threw her head back on the couch.

Fuck. That was a lot.

“Breathe,” he said.

She breathed in and out a few times. “Okay. More please.”

Another shock came right away. She didn’t know how high he had put it. It didn’t matter anyway.

Kotonoha regained her composure. “Again, please.”

A third shock.

It hurt badly. But she could take more.

“Another one.”

“That’s enough for now. Maybe later.”

“But-”

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “Electricity is pretty dangerous. I don’t want to do permanent damage.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I still have this… situation to deal with. Let’s do that first.”   
She nodded. “I understand.”

He put the remote on the coffee table. Then, he sat down next to a sleeping Manami and checked her neck.

Makoto froze.

“What’s wrong?”

“How much sleeping pills did you give her?” he asked, not taking his eyes of her mom.   
“Uhm, a lot? She’s used to taking them so I figured…” her voice trailed off.

“Get me the package.”

She hurried to the kitchen and retrieved the pills.

She handed it to him. “Anything else, S-Sir?”

It felt weird to call him that, but also kind of right.

Makoto studied the package. “These are really strong ones. Do you know how many she usually takes?”

“No,” Kotonoha admitted. “I just know she takes them.”

“And you don’t remember how much you gave her?”   
“It happened so quickly, I…” Kotonoha hesitated. “I-I’ll call the-”

“You won’t call anyone,” he said sharply. “Hand me your phone.” He held out his hand.

“But-”

He picked up the remote of her shock collar. “Do I need to repeat myself?”

“I’m sorry.” She handed her phone to him.

“Looks like I can’t even trust you with this.”

“I-I don’t get it, Sir.”

“That’s cause you’re stupid and you should leave the thinking to me.” He counted the pills left in the box.

“I…” She felt tears stinging in her eyes, but she pushed them back. Somehow, this hurt way more than the shock before.

“Aren’t you?” he asked sharply.

Kotonoha looked down. “Y-Yes, I’m stupid. Sorry for being so useless. W-Will you please explain it to me, Sir?”

He sighed. “How were you going to explain this in the hospital? She  _ accidentally  _ took an overdose of sleeping pills? In the morning?”

“I guess…” he did have a good point there.

“The cops would get on it right away. And they would notice her husband went missing not long ago. How long do you think it will take them to piece that together?”   
She said nothing.

“And she knows. How where you gonna keep her silent once she wakes up again?”

“I don’t know,” Kotonoha admitted.

“Besides,” Makoto finished. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late already.”

Kotonoha felt very cold all of a sudden. “W-What?”   
“Check for yourself. She doesn’t have a heartbeat and she’s not breathing.”

“M-Maybe… maybe we can still do CP-”

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “It’s no use. Even if we can get her heart started, it’s likely she already has serious brain damage. And with the poison still entering her system…”

“But that means I… I-”

“You didn’t do it on purpose,” he quickly said.

“This can’t be happening. Not again.” Her tears were coming again.

“We don’t have time for this,” he said. “When is your sister coming home? Where is she?”

“I-I don’t know,” Kotonoha admitted. She hadn’t even considered Kokoro could come home any minute.   
“Go to your room and stay there.”

“No, I-”

A weak electric shock cut her off.

“Don’t make me do that again, Kotonoha,” he said. “Your sister could come home any moment.  _ Go to your room. _ ”

“Yes, Sir,” she said meekly. The shock had somewhat calmed her.

Kotonoha stood up and went to her room. She sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

After a while, he entered. She didn’t know how long it was. Time had become a foreign concept to her.

“I’ve taken care of it,” he said. He sat down next to her.

She nodded weakly.

It was silent for a while. They knew just taking care of the body wasn’t enough.

“We’ll need a plan,” Makoto said eventually. “People will ask questions.”

“You sure you want to ask a useless girl like me?”

He sighed. “I know I said some things, but I was under a lot of pressure. Come here, I’ll take off that collar.”

“No.” She touched the steel. “Don’t.”

“Kotonoha?”

“You were right. I can’t be trusted. This can’t happen again, Makoto. Keep me like this please.”

“I can’t. You can’t go to school wearing that. You can’t sleep with that either. And what are you gonna tell Kokoro if she sees you with that?”

“E-Even so, I want…”

“Hold on.”

He stood up from her bed. 

She vaguely noticed he was searching for something in her room.

Then, he returned.

“You like this one?” he held up a pendant. It had to be one of her necklaces. She had a lot of jewelry so most things weren’t worn much. Yet she knew she owned this one.

Kotonoha nodded slowly.

Makoto replaced her shock collar with the necklace.

She touched it. It felt good.

“D-Dad had a lot of houses,” Kotonoha said. “He probably uses the same code for his bank account as for his phone.”

“Hm. You want to move?”

“I know it’s insane to ask you this, but… I want to…”

“Live together?” he suggested.

She nodded.

“I guess we don’t have much other options. If I leave you alone it’s not gonna end well.”

“I’m sorry. I-”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind much. I love you. And we were gonna live together eventually.”

She said nothing. 

Suddenly, he smiled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well it’s not the order I expected,” Makoto said.

“How so?”

“Usually people have sex first before they move in together.”

“Oh,” she blushed. “Well I don’t care much about social conventions. Do you?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” She leaned down on his shoulder. She could stay like this forever.

“We should probably get going. Moving is gonna take a lot of work.”

“Can we go swim first?”

“Sure.”

She stood up from the bed. “Now where did I put my bikini?”

“Kotonoha?”

“Hm?” She looked at him.

“I…” Makoto hesitated. “Never mind. Let’s go swimming.”   
“Okay.”

She didn’t get it. Makoto looked like there was some problem, but everything was going alright, wasn’t it? She was going to move in with Makoto. In fact, things couldn’t get any better. 

“Morning, beautiful.”

Kotonoha yawned. “Morning.”

She had slept really well. Makoto holding her in his arms probably had a lot to do with that.

He was still holding her now. His hands slowly crawled upwards to cup her breasts. Kotonoha smiled and settled into his arms.

Then, realised there was something very hard pressing against her butt.

Makoto only had to pull his boxers down and he could put it right in. The thought was very-

“How about we go to the pool today?” Kotonoha quickly said. “It’s been a while.” 

She stood up.

“Sounds fun,” he mumbled. He didn’t seem keen on getting out of bed.

“I’ll go home and pick up my bikini and some clothes.” Where were her clothes?   
“Is there something wrong? You’re acting weird.”   
“No,” she lied as she put on her bra.

He grabbed her wrist and forcefully pulled her back down on the bed.

“Either you tell me what’s going on, or you tell me it’s none of my business. But don’t lie to me, Kotonoha. I know something is wrong.”

“Stop that.” She pulled out of his grasp and got back up. “I don’t like it when you’re so forceful.”

“And I don’t like it when you hide things from me.”

A strained silence fell.

She should probably apologise.

“It’s nothing important.” Kotonoha put on her skirt. “I’ll meet you at Sakakino, okay?”

“You don’t want me to come with you?”

She closed the buttons of her blouse. “No. You seem tired, so you can keep snoozing for a bit. Can I have my panties?”

He picked them up from the nightstand. “Maybe.”

“Makoto,” she said. “You’ve had enough fun now.”   
“Convince me,” he said.

Kotonoha sighed. She gave him a short peck on the lips.

“That’s hardly convincing.”

She kissed him again. A long tongue kiss this time.

“Satisfied?” she asked.

“Almost.”

“Makoto,” she insisted. “I’m really not in the mood.”

“Alright you can have them,” he said. “If you tell me what’s wrong.”

She sighed. She might as well say it because he clearly wouldn't give up.

“I uhm… I want our next time to be… real sex. Does that make sense?”

“Not really. But then again, you’re usually not making much sense.”

“I-I want it, Makoto,” she said. “I want it so bad. After watching Sekai, I just… I can hardly control myself anymore. Last night was… so hard. I just wanted to do it.”

“So it’s the exact opposite? You’re  _ too much _ in the mood?”

“I guess so.” She twisted a loose hairlock around.

“But why didn’t you do it then? If you want it, and I want it, then-”   
“No,” she cut him off. “I want to, but I’m gonna regret it later. I’ve been dreaming of this for so long. You’ve been waiting so patiently for me. I want to do it properly. Not just… normal.”

“What does that mean?”

“I just need to take care of some things first,” she told him. “It shouldn’t take that long. A few days at the most. But in the meantime, I-”

“You’re scared things are gonna get out of hand?”

“Yeah. And then it’s all ruined.”

“And that’s why you want to go to a public pool.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ve been waiting for so long, what’s a few more days?”

“Thanks.”

“I’ll meet you at the pool then.” He lied back down.

“Okay.” She held out her hand.

Makoto gave her the panties. She put them on right away.

Kotonoha could smell her own arousal on them. But this was the only pair she had and it beat going commando. Although for some reason, the thought of going commando made her wet again.

Maybe it would have been…  _ okay  _ if Makoto had kept it up and not given her those panties.

But there was no way she could ask him to do that.

“Okay, I’m going then,” Kotonoha said.

“Hold on.”

He pulled her closer so they could share one more kiss. The kiss made her reconsider leaving.

But she had to.

Kotonoha broke it off before she would lose control.

“I miss you already.”

“Me too.”

She went outside. She could see Maskoto turn on his side before she closed the door.

Kotonoha walked to the station.

On the train, she took out her phone. She wanted to dial Sekai, but then she reconsidered. It was still early. It had been late for Sekai as well, so she was probably still sleeping. Best to call her a bit later.

The train arrived at her stop. She lost her balance and reached for Makoto, but he wasn’t there. She was more scared by that than she should have been.

However, she eventually managed to grab onto a pole and balance herself.

The doors open. Kotonoha quickly got out.

Taking the train was scary. What if someone harassed her right now? She wouldn’t be able to do anything. She was pretty much helpless alone.

No, no, this was silly. It wasn’t the middle of the night. There were plenty of people out here. No one would harass her out in public.

Even so, she walked home on a quicker pace than strictly necessary.

Kotonoha had expected no one to be home, but she was wrong.

“Kotonoha.”

She immediately sensed something was very wrong. She slowly peered inside the living room.

“Yes mom?”

“What do you think you’re doing?” her mother demanded.

“Mom? What are you talking about?” Kotonoha entered.

Her mom took out…

Oh no.

“I found this in your room.”

“What are you doing in my room?” Kotonoha snapped. She closed the rest of their distance quickly.

“What are you doing with a…” Manami hesitated. “A…”

“It’s called a shock collar,” Kotonoha barked. “And it’s none of your business. Stay out of my room.”

She grabbed the collar from her mom’s hand.

“I found something else too,” Manami said.

“I swear, if you-”

Her mother took out a cell phone. Her dad’s cell phone.

Kotonoha froze instantly.

“I called the last dialed number,” Manami said calmly. “Can you believe my surprise when Sekai picked up? Sekai was your classmate, right?”

Kotonoha’s eyes widened. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

She tried to grab the phone, but Manami held it out of her reach.

“Why do you have his phone?” her mom demanded, finally getting angry.

“As a memento.”

A silence fell. What she said was technically true.

“What?” Manami seemed confused.

“You think I haven’t noticed? You’re moving all his pictures, you’ve locked his study and you’re getting rid of his clothes. It’s like he never existed.”

“So you’ve been in my room too then?”

Kotonoha said nothing.

“I called the cops,” Manami said. “They told me that the last dialed number was his secretary and she said they were having an affair. But his secretary is still here and she doesn’t know where he is either. What’s going on here, Kotonoha?”

She had to do something. Everything was going to unravel.

“Okay,” Kotonoha admitted. “I do know something.”

“Yes?”   
“It’s a long story. Why don’t I make us some tea?”

Manami hesitated. “Hm, okay then.”

Kotonoha went to the kitchen. She closed the door behind her.

That was close. Very close.

But there was still a way out of this.

She started on the tea. When she was done, she walked back with a tray.

“Here you go.” She handed her mom a mug, careful to pick the right one.

Manami took a sip. “Hm, weird taste.”

“Maybe you should put some sugar in it?” Kotonoha suggested.

“Oh, right.” She put in a few spoons of sugar, stirred and drank deep. “That’s better.”

“Okay so… dad… he uhm…”

“Yes?” Manami urged her.

“He had an affair. You know that, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, the affair is… it’s with…”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“He met Sekai during the last festival and they started talking and… you know… things happen.” 

_ Come on, start working. _

“That’s insane. That’s not even legal.”

“That’s exactly why he asked me to keep it a secret. He knew you would-”   
“You bet I will.” Manami jumped up. She winced. Her hand went to her head. “I… I feel weird.”

“What’s wrong?” Kotonoha faked. They worked pretty fast apparently.

“I don’t know.” Manami sat down again. “I just feel…”   
She put her head down and fell asleep.

Kotonoha let out her breath. That was close.

She quickly pulled out her phone and dialed a number.

“We have a problem.”

[Can’t find your bikini?] He asked. [Well I guess you’ll have to swim nak-]

“My mom found out.”

[What?] His playful tone vanished right away.

“She found my dad’s phone and-”

[You mean the phone I told you to destroy?] he asked sharply.

Her legs started shaking. Kotonoha quickly said down.

“I…” she swallowed hard.

[What have you done with her?] he asked.

“I-I gave her sleeping pills.”

[Hm. At least you didn’t fuck that up.]

“I’m so sorry. I should have-”

[Save your apology for later. First we need to fix this. Well,  _ I _ need to fix this.]

“O-Okay.”

[Stay right there. I’m coming.]

She nodded, completely forgetting she was on the phone.

Only a few minutes later did she realise she was no longer calling him.

Kotonoha lowered her phone again and stared in front of her.

_ It was okay _ , she told herself. Makoto could fix this.

Eventually, her phone vibrated.

[I’m here.]

She went to open the door.

“Makoto.” Kotonoha fell into his arms.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He patted her back. Gently, he pushed her back inside and closed the door.

“I’m so sorry. I know I promised I’d destroy it, but… I just couldn’t.”

“You promised me.”

“I know, but-”

“But  _ what _ ?” he snapped. “Don’t give me your stupid excuses, Kotonoha. You endangered  _ everything _ . Do you want us to go to jail?”

“No… I…” wait a sec. “ _ Us _ ?”

“Oh, you never considered I would be in trouble too? I got rid of the body for you, that’s accessory. If this comes to a trial, I’m doomed.”

“I never thought-”

“That’s right, you don’t think,” he said coldly. “Why don’t you just leave the thinking to me? Just do as you’re told, Kotonoha. Or is that too hard for you? Cause apparently it is.”

Kotonoha burst into tears. She fell down on her knees. “I’m so sorry. I’m completely useless.”

“Hey,” he softened his tone. “Come here.”

Makoto held out his hand.

“No.”

“Do as you’re told, Kotonoha,” he ordered coldly.

Scared, she reached out and took his hand.

He pulled her up and hugged her again.

“It’s gonna be okay,” he assured her. “I’ll take care of this.”

Makoto held her in silence for a while. She kept shaking and sobbing.

Then, gently, he led her in the living room and put her down on the couch.

Kotonoha wiped her tears away.

“I promise,” she said. “I’ll do anything you tell me to. I can’t be trusted to make my own decisions. Please make them for me.”

“I will.”

“I’m sorry I’m such a bother.”

Makoto said nothing.

“Will you…” Kotonoha hesitated.

“Tell me,” he urged her.

She picked up the shock collar from the coffee table.

“Collar me, please.” She wanted him to… to take ownership of her.

He nodded. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“I understand.”

Makoto put the collar around her neck.

He took out a small padlock from his pocket and locked it in place.

“W-Where… where did you get that?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.” There was probably a reasonable explanation for it. Maybe he had a dream that he would need a padlock. But it didn’t matter in the end. She trusted Makoto.

Kotonoha handed him the remote. “You have to punish me for not destroying that phone.”

She knew it had to be done. And Makoto seemed to realise it as well.

“Alright. Ready?”

She nodded.

He navigated to a number and pressed the button.

Kotonoha yelped. She threw her head back on the couch.

Fuck. That was a lot.

“Breathe,” he said.

She breathed in and out a few times. “Okay. More please.”

Another shock came right away. She didn’t know how high he had put it. It didn’t matter anyway.

Kotonoha regained her composure. “Again, please.”

A third shock.

It hurt badly. But she could take more.

“Another one.”

“That’s enough for now. Maybe later.”

“But-”

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “Electricity is pretty dangerous. I don’t want to do permanent damage.”

“Oh.”

“Besides, I still have this… situation to deal with. Let’s do that first.”   
She nodded. “I understand.”

He put the remote on the coffee table. Then, he sat down next to a sleeping Manami and checked her neck.

Makoto froze.

“What’s wrong?”

“How much sleeping pills did you give her?” he asked, not taking his eyes of her mom.   
“Uhm, a lot? She’s used to taking them so I figured…” her voice trailed off.

“Get me the package.”

She hurried to the kitchen and retrieved the pills.

She handed it to him. “Anything else, S-Sir?”

It felt weird to call him that, but also kind of right.

Makoto studied the package. “These are really strong ones. Do you know how many she usually takes?”

“No,” Kotonoha admitted. “I just know she takes them.”

“And you don’t remember how much you gave her?”   
“It happened so quickly, I…” Kotonoha hesitated. “I-I’ll call the-”

“You won’t call anyone,” he said sharply. “Hand me your phone.” He held out his hand.

“But-”

He picked up the remote of her shock collar. “Do I need to repeat myself?”

“I’m sorry.” She handed her phone to him.

“Looks like I can’t even trust you with this.”

“I-I don’t get it, Sir.”

“That’s cause you’re stupid and you should leave the thinking to me.” He counted the pills left in the box.

“I…” She felt tears stinging in her eyes, but she pushed them back. Somehow, this hurt way more than the shock before.

“Aren’t you?” he asked sharply.

Kotonoha looked down. “Y-Yes, I’m stupid. Sorry for being so useless. W-Will you please explain it to me, Sir?”

He sighed. “How were you going to explain this in the hospital? She  _ accidentally  _ took an overdose of sleeping pills? In the morning?”

“I guess…” he did have a good point there.

“The cops would get on it right away. And they would notice her husband went missing not long ago. How long do you think it will take them to piece that together?”   
She said nothing.

“And she knows. How where you gonna keep her silent once she wakes up again?”

“I don’t know,” Kotonoha admitted.

“Besides,” Makoto finished. “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late already.”

Kotonoha felt very cold all of a sudden. “W-What?”   
“Check for yourself. She doesn’t have a heartbeat and she’s not breathing.”

“M-Maybe… maybe we can still do CP-”

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “It’s no use. Even if we can get her heart started, it’s likely she already has serious brain damage. And with the poison still entering her system…”

“But that means I… I-”

“You didn’t do it on purpose,” he quickly said.

“This can’t be happening. Not again.” Her tears were coming again.

“We don’t have time for this,” he said. “When is your sister coming home? Where is she?”

“I-I don’t know,” Kotonoha admitted. She hadn’t even considered Kokoro could come home any minute.   
“Go to your room and stay there.”

“No, I-”

A weak electric shock cut her off.

“Don’t make me do that again, Kotonoha,” he said. “Your sister could come home any moment.  _ Go to your room. _ ”

“Yes, Sir,” she said meekly. The shock had somewhat calmed her.

Kotonoha stood up and went to her room. She sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around her knees.

After a while, he entered. She didn’t know how long it was. Time had become a foreign concept to her.

“I’ve taken care of it,” he said. He sat down next to her.

She nodded weakly.

It was silent for a while. They knew just taking care of the body wasn’t enough.

“We’ll need a plan,” Makoto said eventually. “People will ask questions.”

“You sure you want to ask a useless girl like me?”

He sighed. “I know I said some things, but I was under a lot of pressure. Come here, I’ll take off that collar.”

“No.” She touched the steel. “Don’t.”

“Kotonoha?”

“You were right. I can’t be trusted. This can’t happen again, Makoto. Keep me like this please.”

“I can’t. You can’t go to school wearing that. You can’t sleep with that either. And what are you gonna tell Kokoro if she sees you with that?”

“E-Even so, I want…”

“Hold on.”

He stood up from her bed. 

She vaguely noticed he was searching for something in her room.

Then, he returned.

“You like this one?” he held up a pendant. It had to be one of her necklaces. She had a lot of jewelry so most things weren’t worn much. Yet she knew she owned this one.

Kotonoha nodded slowly.

Makoto replaced her shock collar with the necklace.

She touched it. It felt good.

“D-Dad had a lot of houses,” Kotonoha said. “He probably uses the same code for his bank account as for his phone.”

“Hm. You want to move?”

“I know it’s insane to ask you this, but… I want to…”

“Live together?” he suggested.

She nodded.

“I guess we don’t have much other options. If I leave you alone it’s not gonna end well.”

“I’m sorry. I-”

“It’s okay. I don’t mind much. I love you. And we were gonna live together eventually.”

She said nothing. 

Suddenly, he smiled.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well it’s not the order I expected,” Makoto said.

“How so?”

“Usually people have sex first before they move in together.”

“Oh,” she blushed. “Well I don’t care much about social conventions. Do you?”

“Not really.”

“Okay.” She leaned down on his shoulder. She could stay like this forever.

“We should probably get going. Moving is gonna take a lot of work.”

“Can we go swim first?”

“Sure.”

She stood up from the bed. “Now where did I put my bikini?”

“Kotonoha?”

“Hm?” She looked at him.

“I…” Makoto hesitated. “Never mind. Let’s go swimming.”   
“Okay.”

She didn’t get it. Makoto looked like there was some problem, but everything was going alright, wasn’t it? She was going to move in with Makoto. In fact, things couldn’t get any better. 


	26. Chapter 26

“I still don’t get it, Onee-chan.”

Kotonoha put the box aside. She crouched down in front of her little sister.

“Mom and dad are… they have a big fight. You know how people can get into fights, right?”

Kokoro nodded. “But they always make up afterwards.”

“With adults… well, they don’t always make up. This is serious. Dad has… has someone else. A new wife.”

“And mom?”

“She has a new husband as well.”

She frowned. “So we have to move?”

“They both want you to live with them. So we figured it was best if you lived with me and Makoto. You like Makoto, don’t you?”

“Yes, but… am I never going to see mom and dad again?”

“I’m sorry, Kokoro-chan. They have new lives now.”

Kokoro sighed. “I think… I get it.”   
“I know it’s hard. But I’ll be there for you, Kokoro. And so will Makoto.”

She hugged her sister.

“Where are we going?” Kokoro asked.

“Not so far. You know dad has lots of houses, right?”

“Yeah?”   
“We’re going to one of those.”

Her little sister nodded. “Okay then.”

“Come on. We’re almost done.”

They moved the last boxes to the van Makoto had rented.

“Hey uhm, Makoto?” she asked.

“Hm?

“Who’s gonna drive?”

“Me, of course.” He put the box inside.   
“You can drive?”

“My mom taught me. How do you think I got rid off-… uhum, never mind that.”

“But, what if they stop us?”

“Fake ID and driver’s license. Don’t worry.” He closed the doors of the van.

“Wow that’s… convenient.”

“Look,” Makoto said. “My mom has it really tough. She’s working all the time. So she got me a fake driver’s license so I could go grocery shopping okay?”

“I’m sorry. Your mom is gonna be all alone now.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, really. This is all because of me.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll still go visit her. She’ll be fine.”

Makoto got into the car.

Kotonoha touched her necklace. It was a simple pendant. Makoto had bought it somewhere in Sakakino Hills on the day-

“Kotonoha? You coming?”

“Oh, of course.”

She got into the van too. There were three seats in the front so Kokoro ended up between them. She seemed to like this quite a lot.

Makoto drove to their new house.

It took them about forty-five minutes to get there.

Their new home was on the edge of the city. It was pretty big and surrounded by hedges to give them privacy. This house had a pool, but only an outside one. There was a sauna and bubble bath as well.

“Why don’t you go check inside, Kokoro?” Makoto said.

They had already seen it, but Kokoro hadn’t.

“Okay.”   
He opened the door for her and she ran inside.

In the meantime, Kotonoha and Makoto unloaded the van.

About halfway through, Kotonoha encountered something strange. 

“Makoto? What is this?” She held up a brown package.

“It’s not yours?”

“What?”

“While I was loading the van, I found that on the doorstep. I figured you had dropped it on your way to the van.”   
“I’ve never seen this before.”   
“Hm. Well check what’s inside then.”

Kotonoha opened the paper and looked inside.

She turned white.

“And?”

“Nothing.” Kotonoha held it behind her back.

“So it’s yours?” he asked.

“Yeah, I forgot I packed it.”

“Okay.”

He picked up another box and carried it inside.

That was strange.

She had expected he would get angry and demand to see what was inside. He seemed awfully okay with this given she was clearly trying to hide something from him.

They finished unloading some time later.

Kotonoha collapsed on the couch.

“The rest can wait for a bit,” Makoto said. “I’m tired.”

Their house already had furniture, so they only had to unpack their clothes and personal stuff.

Kotonoha touched her pendant. She should change it to her collar. They were alone now, this pendant was only for when they were in public.

But Makoto didn’t tell her to change it.

Why didn’t he tell her?

“Are you okay, Makoto-kun?” she asked.

“Yeah, sure, why?”

“Nothing.”

Makoto had been acting strange every since… the incident with her mom. He had exchanged her collar for this pendant and hadn’t switched it back since. They had been busy looking at houses, schools and arranging their move in general, but even so, it was really weird he acted like this. They hadn’t done any kind of sexual stuff since then. It was like he wasn’t interested in her anymore.

“Onee-chan,” Kokoro entered. “When will we start unpacking?”

“I’m tired, Kokoro. We just unloaded everything. And you weren’t much help.”   
“What? I totally helped.”

“Sure, sure.”

“And I need my white dress tonight,” Kokoro said. “So we need to unpack  _ now _ .”

“Kokoro has a point,” Makoto said. “We can’t just keep all these boxes in the living room. We’ll never find anything like this.”

“I guess.”

Everything had been neatly packed, but in the process of moving them here, they had lost track of the individual boxes. At this point, she had no idea what was in which box.

“Let’s just check each box and put them together,” Makoto said. “Then we can at least find everything.”

“Okay.”

Makoto opened the nearest box. “Clothes from you, I think.”

“You sure?”

“Well,” he took out a bra. “This looks like your size.”   
“Makoto!” With a blush she grabbed the bra and tossed it inside again.

He chuckled. “Okay, so your clothes pile will be over here.”   
He moved the box in a corner.

“Then my pile is here,” Kokoro said. She moved a box as well.

“Sure.”   
They started organising the boxes.

Moving sure was a lot of work. And even if these boxes were all unpacked, Kotonoha knew there would be more work. They still had to divide all the housework. Who would cook and clean? Who would go grocery shopping?

Would Makoto want her to do all of it? She wou-

A ripping sound brought her back from her tangent.

Books spilled out of the box she had tried to lift.

“Sorry,” Kotonoha said.

The underside had ripped. Which was no wonder since the box was filled with heavy books. Mostly manga from Makoto. And a bunch of black notebooks.

“I’ll clean it up.” She crouched down.

“No, no. I’ll handle it.”   
Makoto crouched down next to her. He gently pushed her aside.

“No, it’s my fault,” she insisted.

He took her hands. She felt a strange electricity when he touched her. “Kotonoha. You can’t lift this box anyway. Why don’t you focus on the clothes and I’ll do the heavier stuff?”

“Okay.”

Kotonoha let him clean up.

He took a box with his clothes and emptied it onto the living room table. Then, he put the books inside that box. When he was finished, he lifted the box, careful to hold it on the underside, and went to the hallway.

Kotonoha focused on sorting out the rest.

They finished a bit later.

All of them collapsed on the couch.

“I say we order pizza,” Kotonoha said.

“You’re crazy if you thought I was gonna cook something,” Makoto replied.

“We can’t,” Kotonoha said. “We don’t have anything in house. Someone will have to go grocery shopping tomorrow.”

“If you insist, you can go.”

“I’d love to, but I don’t have a driver’s license. I can’t drive that van.”

“Oh fu-” his eye fell on Kokoro. “Uhum… snap.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I need to bring the van back. I rented it, remember? It has to be back in half an hour.”

“Then how are we gonna go grocery shopping?”

“I don’t know? We’ll have them delivered?”

“Maybe we need a car just in case though.”

“Well does… you have some cars, right? At your old home?”

“Oh, yeah, good idea. The keys are all on the hooks near the front door.”

“So which one should I bring back?”

“I guess the black-”   
“What?” Kokoro interrupted them. “We should have mom’s car.”

“The red convertible?”   
“Of course. Dad’s car is boring.”

Makoto smiled. “Convertible it is then.” He stood up. “I’ll go bring the van back and get the convertible. Will you be okay?”

“I’ll start unpacking a bit more in the meantime,” Kotonoha said.

“You don’t have to-”

“No, no, I insist. I’d feel bad doing nothing.”

And she needed something to distract herself. Being without Makoto was scary. What if she killed Kokoro-chan this time?

“Okay then,” Makoto said. “See you soon.”

They kissed and Makoto left.

It was silent for a moment. Kotonoha got up to unpack.

“Onee-chan?”

“Hm?”

“What do you think those books where?”

“Just some manga.”

“Then why did Makoto-kun hide them on the attic?”

“What?”

“I followed Makoto-kun, and I saw him going to the attic with that box.”

“Ye, you should respect his privacy,” Kotonoha said.

“Maybe it’s porn?”

“Kokoro!”

“I’m gonna have a look.” She jumped up.

“No, you stay here.”

Kotonoha pushed her sister down on the couch.

Kokoro pouted.

She better go up and hide them somewhere else. Kokoro would definitely go and find them. It probably wasn’t porn, but still.

Kotonoha went to the attic.

There was quite a lot of mess here, but with some searching, she found the box.

The manga turned out to be quite harmless. There was some very light sexy content, but not much. She didn’t even see any nipples. At worst, there were some panty shots.

For some reason, Kotonoha was disappointed with that. Had he hidden his real porn somewhere else?

Her eye fell on the black notebooks on the bottom of the box.

Those were his diaries.

She shouldn’t. And yet…

Kotonoha picked out two of them and stuffed them beneath her shirt.

Then, she went down.

Kokoro was waiting in the hallway.

“And? Did you find his porn?”

“I don’t want you going up there, Kokoro-chan.”

“What? That’s so unfair.”   
“Well, life isn’t fair.”   
Kotonoha folded in the ladder and closed the hatch.

“I’m going anyway when you’re not looking,” Kokoro said.

“I don’t think so.”

Kotonoha took the stick with her to her room.

Without the stick with the hook on it, you couldn’t reach the hatch. Especially when you were as small as Kokoro-chan.

After a few minutes, she heard Kokoro stomp down the stairs in defeat.

Kotonoha took out the notebooks and lied down on the bed.

This was wrong. This was so wrong.

If Makoto found out, he’d freak out. He’d probably put on her shock collar again and punish her. Or maybe he’d spank her.

Somehow, the thought really excited her.

_ This was his fault _ , she reasoned. She had asked him to take charge and he hadn’t done it. She had asked him to make all the decisions for her, but hardly anything had changed.

He had to take responsibility. And if he didn’t do it by himself, she’d just have to give him a little push.

There was no way she could ask for it again. That was simply too embarrassing. No, this was easier. She just had to lie here and read his diary until he came and put her in her proper place.

Slowly, her hand went beneath her waistband to touch her-

No, no, focus.

Kotonoha grabbed the diary with both hands and opened it.

Her heart skipped several beats.

She recognised the date at the top. It was the day they had first met on the train.

What a coincidence this was the diary she had taken. And what a coincidence he had started a new one on that exact date.

Wait a second. It wasn’t a coincidence.

_ Today, I start my experiment. I’ve observed this girl for a few weeks now and she’s perfect. Her name is Kotonoha Katsura. She doesn’t have any friends and- _

Kotonoha forced herself to stop reading. This wasn’t possible.

She had known this of course. Makoto had figured out strange things were happening around him. Lots of girls had a crush on him, when he went swimming, their bikinis happened to malfunction. He had strange prophetic dreams. It was all too much to be a coincidence. So when he started dating her it had been somewhat of an experiment. She knew all that.

But she had always assumed it was more of a test and she had been picked quite randomly. But this tone was different. If Makoto had observed her for weeks then…

Her heart started beating faster.

Was she holding the answers right here in her hand?

Wait, she couldn’t do this.

Kotonoha closed the notebook.

This wasn’t okay. She should respect his privacy. Even if…

Even if Makoto was…

She sighed. She had to know. She needed all the answers. And if Makoto wouldn’t give them to her, she’d take them by force.

Kotonoha opened it again and read on.

_ Kotonoha is very clumsy. She loses balance on the train and she managed to trip over her own shoelaces. _

So that really was just her being clumsy?

Kotonoha sighed. Maybe she was being paranoid again?

She almost closed the diary again, but then decided to read on for just a bit more. 

_ I used my powers to make her faint.  _

What?

Kotonoha forced herself to stay calm.

This… this wasn’t possible. Makoto would never…

And yet, he was writing it down so it had to be true.

Unless…

Maybe this was fictional? Maybe Makoto invented stories around what happened to make it more interesting? This was his personal diary after all. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t be reading this.

_ I had never done this before, and I think it only worked because she is anemic. I’ll have to confirm it on Sekai later.  _

He then described how he had carried her to the school nurse and the rest of the events of that day. And then… 

_ Making her faint depleted my powers completely. I recharged myself that night and the nights after that. _

No wonder he had been so scared she would read his diary.

Hm. Powers. Recharging. Depleting. So he really had some kind of supernatural powers? She had been right all along?

Kotonoha went on to the next day. 

_ I’ve tested it on Sekai. I can make her get a headache, but she doesn’t faint. I think it’s stronger on anemic people. Kotonoha really is the perfect test subject. _

The next pages were surprisingly disappointing. He had indeed tried to kiss her on their first date and twisted things around later, but there was no mind control involved. She read his frustration that he  _ wasn’t _ capable of controlling her mind. He wasn’t manipulating her dreams either. Although he could see some of them, he couldn’t control them. He had his own dreams as well. Mostly sexy dreams, just like her. 

The next time he had used his powers was to make her faint again. Apparently it took him days to ‘recharge’, although she couldn’t find out how he did that.

She read on. Makoto didn’t have anything to do with her little wardrobe malfunction at the pool either. It had been a coincidence and he was genuinely concerned about her.

Kotonoha gasped when she read on.

_ Things are starting to get difficult. I’m falling in love with Kotonoha. We had an argument at the pool. She’s aware of all the weird coincidences, but other than the fainting I have nothing to do with that. Is there some kind of passive effect of my powers? If that’s the case, it’s not gonna stop unless I stop dating her. But I can’t. Kotonoha is amazing. I’m really starting to fall for her. I know it’s wrong. I should tell her the truth, but I can’t. She’s gonna feel betrayed and she will stop going out with me. _

_ Argh. Why is this so difficult? _

_ I won’t use my powers again. I know Kotonoha was supposed to be a test subject, but I can’t do it. I can’t use her like this. _

Kotonoha read on.

He later described how he felt like his powers were growing ever since they kissed. And when she made him cum, he ‘recharged’ instantly and grew stronger. Apparently recharging had something to do with sex. And the more sexual stuff they did, the stronger he grew. Especially when she was submissive to him.

Makoto described how his powers had grown stronger and he had made Sekai faint. This had happened after she had given him a titty fuck at her pool.

She turned the-

A sudden sound disturbed her.

“I’m home,” a voice announced.

Kotonoha cursed under her breath. She was almost finished with the first diary, but there was no time left now.

Kotonoha tossed the diaries under the bed. Then, she laid back and closed her eyes.

Not long after, the door opened.

“Oh, here you are.”

“Huh?” She pretended to wake up.

“Unpacking huh?” he asked, oblivious.

“Sorry. I just planned to rest for five minutes.”

“I see that.”

“Sorry.” She showed him an apologetic smile.

“It’s okay. We have plenty of time to unpack. So, you’re hungry too? Cause I’m starving.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She followed him downstairs.

What would she do now?

Maybe Makoto was manipulating her. Maybe he had written that diary knowing she would find it and-

No, no. This was absurd. She kept looking for ways to make the facts suit her own theories, but none of them worked.

There was only one question she had to answer.

Did she trust Makoto?


	27. Chapter 27

“Okay young lady, it’s time for bed,” Kotonoha announced.

“What? It’s still super early.”

“This is your regular bedtime. That’s not gonna change, Kokoro-chan.”

“But-”

“Come on.” She ushered her sister off the couch.

Kokoro sighed. “Fine. Good night, Makoto-kun.”

“Good night.”

Kotonoha went up with her to make sure she really went to bed. Knowing Kokoro, she might try to escape.

When she was done getting ready, Kotonoha tucked her in. Then, she walked out and closed the door behind her. Makoto was waiting for her in the living room.

“She’s sleeping,” Kotonoha said.

“Good.”

“It feels like we have a daughter,” Kotonoha said.

“Aren’t you a bit young to have a daughter that age?”

“Maybe.”

“So what do you want to do now?” she sat down next to him.

“I don’t know. Watch a movie?”

“Alright.”

They started a movie. Kotonoha put her head down on his lap to watch it. Makoto softly stroked her hair.

…

She opened her eyes. “Huh? Makoto?”

“The movie’s over. You fell asleep.”

“Oh, sorry.” She got up.

“No big deal. You did look pretty tired. Maybe we should go to bed.”

“Yeah, okay.”

They went upstairs and got ready for bed.

When they were done getting ready, they both sat down on the bed.

“This is weird,” she said. “You know, new house, new bed. We… we’re really living together now, aren’t we?”

“Yeah.” 

She moved closer to him.

“I love you,” he said.

“Me too.”

They started kissing.

Makoto put his hands on her lower back. They stayed there at first, but as they kept kissing, he slowly moved them to squeeze her butt.

Then, he suddenly pulled them back. “Sorry. I’m getting all carried away.”

“No, no. I said a few days, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but given what happened.”

“That’s no excuse,” she insisted. “I have everything I need now. In fact, I have way more. We’re  _ living _ together. I still can’t believe it.”

“Well you didn’t give me much options, did you?”

“Sorry. I hope you’ll ever forgive me. There’s nothing I can do to ever make this up to you, but-”

“You could start with a kiss,” he suggested.

She gave him a peck on his lips. “I love you. I love you so much.”

“Me too.”

Kotonoha took a deep breath. “Can you close your eyes for a bit?”

“Sure.” He closed them. “But I usually don’t sleep sitting up.”

“This might take a while,” she warned him.

“Take as much time as you need, Kotonoha. I’ll wait for you right here.”

Kotonoha took out the clothes she needed and went to the bathroom. She had brushed her teeth before, but she did it again. She also peed a second time.

Then, she took a quick shower. Kotonoha made sure to shave her legs properly, and between her legs as well. It had to be perfect.

When she was done she dried off and got dressed in her new outfit. It fit perfectly. She studied her reflection. Not bad. Almost done.

Next, she brushed her hair for a while and put in a few flower shaped clippers. She also applied eyeliner and mascara.

She hadn’t checked the time, but it must have taken quite long. But everything had to be perfect.

Kotonoha went back to their room. She locked the door behind her.

Makoto was lying on the bed, his eyes still closed.

Kotonoha opened a box and took out the items she needed.

When she finally finished, she went to Makoto.

“Okay, I’m ready.”

He didn’t respond.

“Makoto?”

“Huh?” His eyes shot open. “Oh, Koto- what the…”

He was completely stunned.

Kotonoha knelt down on the floor. “I’m ready to serve you, Master.”

She lowered her head.

He frowned. “That’s a maid outfit.”

Makoto looked around. He seemed quite impressed.

Kotonoha had lit candles all across the room. Flower petals were spread out over the bed and floor.

“This is… wow.”

“Do you like it, Master?” she asked.

“How… that maid uniform is…”

“Yes, it’s the one the girls of your class wore for their maid cafe,” she confirmed.

“Where did you even get one? And in your size.”

“Sekai helped me a little with the outfit. But that’s not important now.”

Kotonoha offered him something. Her shock collar, and something else.

“A leash?” he asked.

“If that’s okay with you, Master.”

“Are you sure you want to do this for your first time?”

“This is the dynamic I want, Master. I’ve thought long and hard about it, and I want to do it like this.”

At the start, she had only dreamt about the maid outfit. It just seemed fun and memorable to wear it for their first time. But now, she wanted way more. It was no longer a game.

Makoto hesitated. “I don’t know. This is…”

“I want to be yours,” Kotonoha said. “It’s you who made me like this. Now take responsibility.”   
“Do you really believe that?” he asked. “You really think I’m the one who made you like this?”   
“I don’t think I care anymore. I only want to serve you, Master. That’s all that matters.”

“Kotonoha.”

“I asked this before. I asked you to collar me and take charge. But you just… stopped. You didn’t punish me when I talked back to you. You didn’t slap my butt or grab my boobs randomly to show me you own me. You didn’t ask me to put on my proper collar again. I wanted to ask you, but…”   
“I was scared as well. Lots of things happened. Crazy things. It just seemed-”

“But we’re together now. I’m right where I want to be: on my knees, in front of you, ready to serve. It just took me a while to figure out this is what I really wanted. Isn’t this what you want as well?”

“Well, yes, but…” he hesitated.

“What?”

He picked up a flower petal. “You don’t want the roses, do you? You just want the thorns.”

“Yes. I want you to dominate me. I want to be owned by you. I don’t want to be given any choice, I just want you to take me. Make me feel owned.”

“Okay then. If that’s what you really want.”

Makoto leaned down and kissed her.

Without letting go, he pulled her on the bed.

Still making out, he guided her down on her back and got on top of her.

Slowly, he reached beneath her skirt and pulled down her panties. He studied them. She had picked out white lace panties. There was a big wet spot on them.

“Did you pick these out for me?” he asked.

“Yes, Master. Do you like them?”

“I love them.”

She smiled.

“I can’t wait anymore,” he said.

“Me neither. Fuck me please. Put me in my place.”

He opened his zipper and pulled out his cock.

“Wait, is this position okay?” she asked. “Or do you want me to turn around?”

“Open your legs a bit more,” he said.

“Yes, Master.”

Quite suddenly, he put his head between her legs and kissed her…  _ there _ .

She gasped. “Master, what are you doing? You… you can’t do this”

“I’m the one deciding that,” he said. He went back down on her.

“But… I should focus on your pleasure. It’s not right to reward me like that for nothing.”

“You’ll focus on what I say,” he said. “And right now I want you to focus on this sensation. Now keep still or I’ll tie you up.”

“Yes, Master.”

He continued driving her wild until she was near the edge. He didn’t make her cum though. Just as she thought she would tip over, he suddenly stopped.

Makoto repositioned himself so his cock was lined up with her pussy.

He really was going to do it. He was going to take her virginity.

She felt his dick pressing at her entrance.

Kotonoha braced herself.

Slowly, he pushed it in. She felt her body stretch to accept him. It hurt, but she loved the pain.

“Does it feel good for you?” she asked. “Am I tight enough for you? I could use my muscles to-”

“It feels perfect, Kotonoha,” he cut her off.

“You can move, if you want to,” she said. “I can handle it.”

Her Master pushed himself in deeper.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Owned.”

“Good.” He kissed her neck. His hand went to work on her breast.

Slowly, he pushed further until he was in all the way. She was breathing hard now.

“Master,” she pleaded. “Please… do it. Hard.”

“But…”

“I want to make you feel good. My… my pussy is designed for one thing only: to take your cock. To make you feel good. So… give it purpose please.”

“Hm, maybe. I’ll think about it.”

“Master, please.”

“If you ask properly, I might.” He rubbed her clit with his thumb.

“Master? I don’t understand. You want me to beg more?”

“Ask me what you really want to ask, Kotonoha.”

“I…” she avoided his eyes. “Let’s feel good together… M-Makoto.”

She gasped when he started moving. His thumb kept rubbing her clit.

Kotonoha had never felt anything like that before. Pain and pleasure mixed together until she couldn’t tell which was which anymore. All she knew was that she wanted more. It wasn’t long before she was begging.

“More… please… more.”

He increased his pace. “Play with your breasts.”

She fondled them, but the maid outfit was in the way.

“Come here.”

He stopped fucking her.   
Makoto grabbed her blouse and pulled hard. The buttons ripped off.

He reached behind her back and snapped open her bra. Then, he forced it upwards, freeing her breasts.

“Makoto.” She blushed heavily.

He closed his hand around her throat. “What?”

“Sorry, Master. I was just surprised. Please don’t stop fucking me.”

“I will if you start playing with your breasts, like I told you to.”

She grabbed her breasts and roughly fondled them. He started again.

Kotonoha moaned loudly.

This was crazy, if he kept this up, she would…

“Master… please… I want to-”

“Do it. Cum for me.”

Her body obeyed him.

Instinctively, she wrapped her legs and arms around him. The tremors raced through her body. Her pussy squeezed hard on his cock.

He fucked her through her orgasm, not slowing in the least.

She felt her body go limp. But he was still going. “Ah, Makoto, I’m sensitive.”

“I don’t care.”   
He kept pistoning in and out of her.

“Yes, Master. Keep using me please.” She pulled her hands up above her head and grabbed the headboard.

“Look at this. Cumming on your very first time. Are you that perverted?”

“It’s because of you,” she said.

“I waited so long for this,” he said. “And it was all worth it. You’re perfect, Kotonoha.”

“Don’t make me cry, Makoto. Not now.”   
“Are they tears of joy? Or does it hurt too much?”

“I don’t know. It’s not important.”

He kept fucking her. Her breasts were bouncing up and down on his rhythm. 

Kotonoha contracted her pelvic muscles.

“Wow.”

“Does that feel good?”

“Yeah. Fuck, you’re even tighter.”

She kept rhythmically contracting her muscles to enhance his pleasure.

He lasted for another minute.

“Kotonoha, I’m gonna cum.”

“Where?” she asked.

“Inside.”

She gasped. “O-Okay.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m on the pill, don’t worry. Fill me up, Makoto. I want it. I want you to cum inside of my virgin pussy.”

“Fuck.”

He grunted. Makoto thrusted deep inside of her. She couldn’t believe he could go in that far.

Kotonoha embraced him tightly while he came. She could almost feel his cum going inside of her.

Makoto was too heavy to lie on top of her, so he rolled on his side. She had no choice but to follow his movement. They were still connected, but they were both on their sides now.

“That was amazing,” he said.

“Did I…” she bit her lip. “Did I feel better than Sekai?”

“Yeah. Much better. Her pussy can’t compare to yours, Kotonoha.”

“I’m so happy. I want to stay like this forever, Makoto.”

“Well that’s kind of a problem.”

“Why?”

“I’m getting soft. It’s gonna slip out.”

“Then I just need to make you hard again.”

“I just came, give me a minute. Ah, damn.”

His cock was really slipping now. She could already feel stuff leaking out of her pussy.

“We’re gonna need some tissues.”   
Makoto reached over to the nightstand and picked out a box.

Kotonoha cleaned them up. She noticed there was some blood mixed into his cum and her own wetness.

“I got you all dirty,” she said.

“It was worth it.”

“Let me clean you.”

“Huh? Woah.”

Kotonoha took his cock in her mouth. 

“Kotonoha?”

“Just let me clean you, please.”

She sucked him off. The taste of her own blood filled her mouth, but she didn’t mind. This was proof that she was a good girl. This was proof they had finally done it. She was no longer a virgin. She was all his now.

While she sucked him, she held a tissue between her legs to catch the cum that was still slowly dripping out of her.

He didn’t stop her, so she kept sucking him. After a few minutes, she sensed he was growing hard again.

“You’re doing it wrong,” he suddenly said.

“I am?”

“You’re wearing too much clothes.”

“Oh, of course, sorry.”

She stripped out of her clothes.

“It’s sad you ripped it,” she said. “I wanted to play a bit more with it.”

“I can fix it.” He started getting undressed too.   
She threw down her clothes on the floor. Now, she was only wearing her shock collar.

When they were both naked, she took his cock back in her mouth.

Makoto grabbed her head and forced it down. He started thrusting into her mouth.

Kotonoha gagged and choked, but she powered through. Maybe he would fuck her again if she was a good girl?

Her eyes started watering.

Makoto pulled her head up. She breathed hard.

“You okay?”

She nodded. “Can I… can I play with myself please?”

“Is your pussy getting wet again?”

“It’s never gone dry, Master.”

“You can play with it.”

“Thank you, Master.”   
She inserted two fingers. Even though they had just fucked, she was still extremely tight. Kotonoha could feel the leftover cum inside.

Makoto started to facefuck her again.

It felt so good. Every time he went into her throat, her pussy pulsed and pushed out more wetness. She could probably cum if he just kept going.

But he didn’t. After a few minutes, he pulled out.

She gasped for breath.

“I’m gonna fuck you again,” he announced.

“Yes, please.”

“Turn around.”

She did as he asked.

“On your knees,” he directed her. “No, face the other way.”

Confused, she shuffled around. She raised her ass up high and kept her head down.

“Like this?”

“Yeah. That’s perfect.”

Makoto got behind her. He clipped on the leash on her collar.

Without giving her time to prepare herself, he pushed himself inside.

She let out a muffled scream.

“Spread yourself,” he ordered.

Kotonoha reached back with both hands and spread her ass and pussy.

He fucked her hard.

“How does this feel?”

“It feels amazing. Keep going please.”

“Do you have any idea how sexy you look right now?”

“If you say so, Master.”

“Just take a look.”

He pulled hard on her leash. Her head was forced upwards and she found herself staring directly at them in the mirror of their wardrobe.

She was…

She looked like a bitch in heat. That was the only thing that came to mind.

It was so embarrassing. And yet, when she saw it, she started bucking her hips to meet his thrusts.

Her heavy breasts were swaying back and forth on the rhythm. It looked amazing.

“You’re mine,” he said. “All mine.”

His cock kissed her womb on every thrust.

“Yes, Master. I… I want to cum again.”

“Already?”

“Sorry, Master. It’s just… your cock feels so good.”

“Hold it. You’re not allowed to come yet.”

“Ah. That’s…”

“Figure it out, Kotonoha.”

She bit her lip. How was she supposed to hold it?

Makoto slapped her butt. This made it even harder to hold back. Yet, somehow, she managed. The fear to displease Makoto was bigger than her desire to cum again.

“I’m gonna cum,” he said. “Cum with me.”

“Yes, Master.”

He gave her a few more hard thrust and then stopped, buried deep within her.

That was her cue to come as well. She couldn’t hold herself back from screaming. It was just too much.

When it was over, they both collapsed on the bed.

Kotonoha embraced him.

“Onee-chan? Are you okay?” a voice called outside.

“Damn.”

“It’s fine,” Makoto said. “She had a nightmare. Just go back to bed, Kokoro-chan.”

“Are you okay, Onee-chan?”

“I’m fine, Kokoro. Just go to bed.”

“But-”

“Do I need to come out there?”

Her voice deflated. “No, Onee-chan. I’ll go to bed. Good night.”

“Good night.”

They heard Kokoro go back to bed.

“That was close,” Makoto said.

“So,” Kotonoha smiled. “What did you think of our first time?”

“Wow.”

She chuckled. “That good?”

“You’re amazing, Kotonoha.”

“Originally I was planning to strip out of that maid outfit, but you didn’t really give me the time.”

“Your fault for being so sexy,” he said. “You’ll just have to do it next time.”

“You kinda ruined the blouse.”

“I’ll sew those buttons back on,” he said.

“You can sew?” she asked.

“Uhm, yeah.”

“Well that’s…”

“Are you about to say something sexist, Kotonoha?”

“Of course not,” she quickly evaded. “It’s perfectly normal a guy can sew on buttons.”

“It’s really not that hard. I’ll sew them back on and then we can both enjoy me ripping them back off.”

She bit her lip. “I’d like that.”

“You know, this isn’t really how I imagined my first time,” Makoto said. “I always thought it would be a bit more awkward.”

“Well this isn’t really our first time,” she argued. “We’ve already done so much sexual things this was only a tiny step.”

“Yeah.”

Kotonoha felt really proud of herself. This wasn’t his first time. He had done it with Sekai before. But apparently she had done it so well, he had completely forgotten about that.

“Sorry, but I’m really tired now,” he said. “Can we go to sleep?”

“Sure. I’m tired too.”

He took off her collar and put it on the nightstand. Then, she got up to blow out the candles around the room. When that was done, they got under the covers and embraced each other.

“Whenever you want to do it again,” Kotonoha said. “Just do it. Don’t ask, just take me. I’m yours.”

“Okay. I love you, Kotonoha.”

“Me too, Makoto.”

She fell asleep. In her dreams, she relived her first time over, and over, and over again.


	28. Chapter 28

Kotonoha hazily opened her eyes. It was still dark around her. 

She felt something hard poking against her butt. A hand rested on her breasts.

“Makoto-kun? What are you doing?”

“I want you,” he said. “Now.”

“But-”

“I wasn’t asking, Kotonoha. You’re mine, I’m gonna take you whenever I want to.” She felt his hand shift up and wrap around her throat.

“But, I’m not-”

“Stop making this about you.” He pushed his cock against her butt cheeks.

“Makoto-kun, that-”

“Didn’t you say I could do it whenever I wanted? Or did we do it yesterday because you were afraid I would leave you otherwise?”

“No, I really wanted to do it.”

“Then prove it. Put me in.”

“O-Okay”

Kotonoha reached down and guided him inside. She was surprised to find she was already wet. He pushed his cock all the way in in one thrust.

She grunted softly. It still hurt, especially if he forced it in that roughly.

“Ah, Makoto, be gentle.”

“I’ll be as gentle as I want to be,” he said. He accentuated this by slapping her butt. “Don’t forget your place.”

He started fucking her hard.

Kotonoha bit her lip. She was ashamed to admit she was completely turned on. If anything, the rough way in which he treated her made her more horny.

“M-Makoto.”

He slapped her ass hard. “Say it right.”

“M-Master. Please keep using me. Make yourself feel good.”

“I will.” He did it even harder. She couldn’t believe he could go in that deep.

“Where’s the gratitude, slave?” he slapped her butt again.

“Thank you,” she blurted out.

“For what?”

“For using my pussy to make yourself feel good. For giving me purpose.”

“That’s my good girl.”

He lasted only a few more thrusts. She heard his breathing change. Makoto grabbed her hips hard and came deep inside of her. Slowly, he thrusted a few more times and then he pulled out.

Her boyfriend kissed her on her cheek. “Good girl.” 

Makoto wrapped his arms around her. His hand grabbed her breast again and stayed there. 

She felt his cum leaking down her thighs, along with her own wetness.

“Makoto?” she asked hesitantly. “I didn’t cum yet.”

“That’s not my fault. You had the opportunity, and you didn’t do it.”   
“But, it wasn’t long enough to-”

“Stop being so selfish, Kotonoha,” he snapped. “I already fucked you, isn’t that enough? Is it all about you?”

“But… you’re the one who woke me up.”

“No, I didn’t,” he said calmly.

“Yes you did.”

Makoto got up and turned on the nightlight.

“What are you talking about?” he asked. “You were rubbing that horny little pussy of yours on my cock, begging me to put it in. I obliged, even though it’s the middle of the night and I’m really tired.”

“But…” 

That wasn’t what happened, right? 

“Now now, who’s more likely to be right?” he asked.

“You,” she said immediately.

“Touch yourself,” he ordered calmly.

She did as he asked. “I…”

“Are you wet?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “Really wet.”

“But I’m not hard, am I?”

“Not really.”

“So?”

“But I was certain that-”

“I’m concerned about you, Kotonoha,” he interrupted her. “You keep imagining things that aren’t real. Maybe it’s better if we don’t sleep together.”

“No,” she embraced him. “Please.”

“But you can’t control yourself,” he argued.

“I can. Please give me another chance.”

“I don’t mind having sex with you, Kotonoha. It’s okay, even if it’s the middle of the night. But don’t give me this whole argument afterwards.”

“I won’t,” she promised.

“Besides, does it really matter who initiated?”

“Not really.”

“Well then. Let’s go back to sleep. Be a good girl from now on.”

“I will be.”

He turned off the light. She got into his arms again.

“If you’re really horny, we can do it again in the morning,” he said. “But now I really want to sleep.”

“Yes, of course. Goodnight, Makoto.”

“Goodnight.”

They went back to sleep. Or at least, she tried to get back to sleep, but it wasn’t easy. She was still so horny. It was difficult to resist the urge to start masturbating furiously. But if she knew that if she did, she would wake him up and he’s be angry. Or worse,  _ disappointed _ .

She’d just have to hold off until he wanted to do it again.

Eventually, she fell back asleep.

\

“Hey,” Kotonoha said. “You awake?”

“Almost.”

“It’s time to get up.” She reached over and turned on the nightlight.

Makoto looked at her. There was something strange in his eyes.

“Go down on me,” he suddenly said.

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Come on, get on with it.”

“O-Okay.”

She got beneath the covers and put his cock in her mouth. He wasn’t hard yet, but that changed quickly when she got started. Makoto pulled back the covers so he could see her. She tried to look up at him, but that wasn’t so easy.

“Hm. Put it between your breasts.”

Kotonoha put it between her breasts and moved them up and down his shaft the way he liked it. She let spit dribble down from her mouth. Makoto liked it sloppy after all.

“You love it when I’m forceful, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she admitted. She did, right?

Hesitantly, she moved her hand down. She was soaking wet, so clearly she loved this. Otherwise she wouldn’t get so wet.

“Get on top of me.”

She nodded.

Kotonoha moved up. She positioned herself over him and grabbed his cock.

Gently, she put it inside and used her own weight to push it in.

“Wow.”

She had never been able to control the depth and speed herself. It-

He grabbed her hips and pushed her down all the way.

“Ah, Makoto.”

“Stop teasing me.”

“Ah, sorry.”

She moved her hips up and down. It wasn’t long before she started moaning.

“You’re so deep,” she panted.

“You’re the one pushing it so deep,” he pointed out.

“But, you…”

“You want it deep, don’t you? You want to make me feel good?”

“Yes, of course.”

She slammed her hips down harder.

Kotonoha leaned forward to kiss him. He pushed his tongue past her lips and dominated the kiss.

Her clit went past his belly.

Hm. That felt good.

She pushed his cock all the way inside of her and grinded her clit on his belly. 

Oh wow. That was-

“What are you doing?” he asked sharply.

“It feels so good.”

“Does it feel good for me?”

“Ah, no.”

“So stop it. You’re being selfish.”   
“Sorry.” She got up and started riding him again.

“Squeeze your pussy. Focus on getting me off.”

“Yes, Sir.” She squeezed her lower muscles rhythmically around his cock. Her hips moved faster.

She soon found it was quite exhausting to do all the work herself. He had a lot of stamina. Probably because they had already done it last night.

“Don’t slow down,” he warned her. “Show me how much you love me. Work hard for me.”

“Ah, yes Sir.”

She redoubled her efforts.

By now, she was covered in sweat. Makoto was still lying there, leasurily.

“I’m gonna cum,” he announced.

“Ah. Inside, please.”

“Give me your mouth.”

She stopped. “What?”

“I’m gonna cum in your mouth.”

“But…” After all this effort she really wanted to feel him cum inside of her. Feel his reward for her hard work.

“Get down,  _ now _ ,” he said in his dominant voice.

“Ah, okay.” She got off him and moved down to take him in her mouth. She could taste herself on him.

Kotonoha wrapped her hand around him and jerked him off. She took the head in her mouth and suckled it softly. It didn’t take long until the salty taste filled her mouth.

She kept sucking him as he went soft again. Then, she took it out.

“Show me.”

Kotonoha opened her mouth and showed him the cum inside.

He nodded. “Swallow.”

She swallowed hard. 

“Thank you, Sir. Your cum tastes delicious.” She knew what was expected of her.

“Good girl. Come on, we’ll take a shower.”

She followed him to the bathroom.

The warm water felt amazing. She was completely covered in sweat and other stuff so it felt good to wash it all off.

Makoto very gently washed her body. He softly kissed her neck, ears, cheek, mouth… it was…

“Makoto-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“Why so… soft?”

“You don’t like it?”

“I do,” she assured him. “But… in bed you were so… rough.”

“Well you asked me to. You’re constantly pushing me to be more dominant and rough with you.” 

He took the shampoo and got started on her hair. She closed her eyes.

“Well that… that’s true I guess, but…”   
“But what?”

“Are you testing me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he avoided.

“I’ll do anything for you, Makoto-kun. But you can ask it gently too.”

“I would if you didn’t argue about everything.”

“Well sometimes I’m not in the mood to-”

“I don’t care.” He suddenly pulled hard on her hair.

“Ah, Makoto.”

“Keep your eyes closed,” he warned her. “The shampoo will get into them if you open them now.”

“What do you want, Makoto? You’re so confusing.”

“I want you,” he said. “All of you. I’m not interested in a fifty percent relationship. I want you to give yourself to me completely. Anytime, anywhere.”

Kotonoha said nothing.

“I’m your boyfriend, right?” he continued. “I’m always there for you, regardless of what happens. And quite a lot happened. I’m not always in the mood to clean up your mess either, but I do it anyway.”

She swallowed hard. “I understand. I want to be yours too.”

“Good.”

He carefully washed off the shampoo.

“My turn,” she said. Kotonoha took the shampoo.

“I’ll be in your care then.”

She started washing his hair.

“Makoto?”

“Hm.”

“How are you powers?”

He froze. “My what?”   
“I… I want to be honest with you. I read your diary.”

“Oh.”

“I didn’t mean to. I just… I had to know.”

“And you’re not mad at me?” he washed off his hair.

“No. I mean, it doesn’t look like you did much. Just a bit of experimenting. And then you stopped because you care so much about me.”

“Yeah, still, I kinda used you to experiment on.”

“But you didn’t know me back then,” she argued.

“I guess. Why are we talking about this?”

“Well you wrote about how they are growing stronger whenever you… do sexy things and dominate girls. So I figured, after last night and this morning, maybe they are stronger?”

“Maybe.”

“Would you like to try them on me?”

“Are you sure?”

“I want to know what they can do. Maybe we can do some fun things with them.”

Makoto shrugged. “Alright then. If that’s what you really want.”

He focused. Suddenly, she felt a blinding headache coming up.

“Ah, fuck.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She took a deep breath. “Is that your full power?”

“Not even close.”

“You can go stronger if you want to.”

The pain got worse. Then, suddenly everything went dark.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… I can’t see anything.”

“What?”

Her vision suddenly cleared again. She lost her balance.

“Woah. Careful.”

Makoto wrapped his arms around her.

“That was weird. First I had a headache and then everything went dark.”

“But you can see again now?”   
“Yeah. This actually makes sense. First I get a headache, then my vision goes black and then I lose my balance. If you keep pushing, I’ll probably faint.”

“But normally you either stay with just a headache or you go straight to fainting.”

“You must have gained more control over your powers.”

“Anyway, I think we’re pretty clean now.”

He turned off the shower. They both dried off.

Kotonoha wrapped a towel around herself. She wanted to go to her room, but before she was outside, the towel slipped. She quickly caught it.

“Was that you?” she asked.

“Uhm, I don’t know. I did think about it, but…”

“So it was you then?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “This is a mystery to me as well. These things happen a lot when I think about them, but that could just be a coincidence.”

“You know it’s not.”   
He sighed. “Does it matter? If it told you to drop the towel, would you do it?”   
“Of course.”   
“So really, it’s not important, is it?”

“Yes, but… stay here one sec.”   
Kotonoha went to her room. She returned a bit later, wearing a red summer dress.

“Kotonoha?”

“Try lifting my dress.”

Frowning, he came closer.

“No, from there.”

“What do you mean?”

“Use your powers.”

“Kotonoha,” he said. “I can’t do anything like that.”

“Just give it a try please. For me.”

“Fine.” He looked at her intensely.

Nothing happened.

“See? I can’t do things like that.”

Kotonoha bit her lip. “I’m not wearing panties. But if you don’t want to see, that’s fine.”   
She turned and prepared to leave. Then, a sudden gust of wind lifted her skirt for a sec.

Makoto’s eyes went wide. “What the…”

“Like I thought.”

“This is crazy. I can’t do anything like that.”

“Yes, you can,” she told him. “You’ve been doing it all your life.”

“Don’t you think I would have noticed that?”

“You couldn’t do it until I told you I wasn’t wearing panties. Maybe you need an incentive. A reward. And doing sexy things replenishes your power, right?”

“Yes, but…”

“Didn’t you start this experiment because there were weird coincidences?”

“Yes, but nothing impossible like this,” he said.

“Because your mind doesn’t come up with anything impossible. You think ‘it would be interesting if a gust of wind flipped her skirt now’, but you don’t do that when you’re inside because you know it’s impossible. You just have to open your mind to the possibilities.”

“Hm.”

“Also, I think you were weaker before I met you. If you needed a week or even a month to recharge, it would be very difficult to notice.”

“That’s why I kept a diary,” Makoto said. “But-”

“Onee-chan?” a voice called. “Are you awake?”

“One sec.” She walked to the door. “By the way, you might want to get dressed.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

Kotonoha went down with her sister.

“It’s way too early,” Kokoro complained.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“That’s an eternity.”

Kotonoha shook her head.

They had decided not to disrupt Kokoro-chan too much and still send her to the same school. Since her school was roughly a third of the way between their old and new house, she only had to spend fifteen minutes longer on the train.

Only she and Makoto would transfer to a new school, but their paperwork wasn’t in order yet. And they still had to get their new uniforms.

Makoto came down as well during their breakfast, just as Kokoro went off to school.

“What do you want to do?” he asked when she was gone.

“I think if you keep dominating me and training, you’ll grow even stronger.”

“And then what? I go fight evil?”

“Or we’ll just have some fun,” she suggested.

“But…” he hesitated. “If… if I could do this all my life without noticing then maybe… maybe I am mind controlling you or something?”

“I don’t care anymore, Makoto-kun. I’m all yours, mind control or not. If you want something, just ask. I’ll do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Yes, anything you want.”

He shook his head. “I don’t believe you. You’re just saying that because-”

“No, I’m serious. Go ahead and test me.”

“What?”

“Ask something you think I would never do and I’ll do it. I’ll show you I’m serious.” She would prove to him just how much he meant to her.

“Hm.” He thought about it for a moment. “Okay then.”

Makoto leaned in and whispered something in her ear.

“You want me to do  _ what _ ?”

“You heard me,” he said calmly.

“I can’t do that.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m right. You weren’t serious before.”

“No, I mean… I can’t arrange this all by myself.”

“If you really care, you’ll find a way.”

“I-I’ll try,” she promised.


	29. Chapter 29

Kotonoha hesitated. What was she even doing? This was completely insane.

What kind of boyfriend asked stuff like this?

She should just go home and tell him to-

“Kotonoha?”

She looked up. “Oh, uhm.” She swallowed hard. “Hey Sekai.”

Kotonoha avoided her eyes.

Sekai was just coming home. She was still in her school uniform.

“It… it’s been a while.” Sekai said. She fiddled around with her thumbs.

“Yeah.”

“I heard you moved in with Makoto.”

“Yeah.”

“I uhm… did you find the package?”

“Yes, thanks a lot.”

“I wanted to give it personally, but I… I had other things to do.”

They were getting nowhere like this.

“We have to talk,” Kotonoha said.

Sekai bit her lip. “I know. Come on in.”

She opened the door of the apartment block.

They took the elevator up in awkward silence.

Kotonoha had never seen Sekai’s apartment. It looked quite similar to Makoto’s old apartment.

“My mom is working,” Sekai said. “Luckily.”

She sat down on the couch.

Kotonoha remained standing.

“Did… did Makoto tell you?” Sekai asked.

Without saying a word, Kotonoha took out her phone. She navigated to a folder and started the video. Then, she handed it to Sekai.

Sekai’s mouth fell open. “How… what…”

“There was a camera in the Break Room. Chie was planning to show the videos to everyone.”

“Ashikaga?”

Kotonoha nodded.

“Everyone saw this?”

“No. Not yet. I took the camera and the tapes with me.”

Sekai let out a sigh of relief. “Wait, _not yet_? What is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly what I said, _not yet_. Whether I show this to anyone else is all up to you.” Kotonoha voice was hard.

Sekai nodded. “I understand. I… it won’t happen again. It was just a one time thing, Kotonoha, I swear. I don’t want to come between you and-”

“Actually,” Kotonoha interrupted her gently. “I’m here for the opposite reason.”

“What do you mean?”

She sat down. “Makoto wants a threesome.”

“What!?”

“A threesome. You know what that is, right? You’re no longer a virgin now after all.”

“He wants a threesome?” Sekai slowly repeated.

“Yes. Glad we’re getting somewhere.”

“You want me to…”

“Have a threesome with me and Makoto. Ye, Sekai, how slow are you?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Kotonoha raised an eyebrow. “Do I look like I’m kidding?”

“What did Makoto do to you? How are you okay with this?”

“I just want Makoto-kun to be happy. If this is what makes him happy, then I’ll give it to him.”

“And what about what you want?”

“I already have anything I want,” she explained. “Makoto is all I want. Since he gives me everything I want, it makes sense I give him everything he wants too.”

“And what if you want a threesome with two guys? Would he be okay with that?”

“But I don’t want that,” Kotonoha said. “Why would I want that?”

“Why does Makoto want it then?”

Kotonoha shrugged. “I don’t know. Is that important?”

You didn’t ask people why they wanted a Christmas gift either, did you?

“Yes.” Sekai got up and started pacing back and forth.

“I don’t really see the problem,” Kotonoha said. “You’ve had sex with him before, didn’t you?”

“Maybe.”

“I was watching you, don’t deny it.”

Sekai frowned. “You mean you were watching the tape?”

Kotonoha felt her cheeks get hot. “That’s what I said.”

“It didn’t sound like it.” Sekai frowned. “Makoto said no and then he suddenly returned. Did you…”

“Okay, fine, I overheard you two. And then I talked to Makoto and told him it was okay if he slept with you.”

“This isn’t normal, Kotonoha. You can’t just give him whatever he wants.”

“I can, and I will,” she stood up as well. “He’s my boyfriend, I don’t need your permission. We’re gonna have a relationship however we want to.”

“Go ahead, but I won’t be a part of it.”

“Oh yes you will.”

“Forget it.”

“Then I guess I’ll just show this video to everyone. Let’s start with Kiyoura-san.”

“Wait.” Sekai suddenly looked pale.

“What’s wrong? It’s your fault, Sekai. You slept with him even though you knew he was my boyfriend.”

“It’s not my fault you are such a prude,” Sekai snapped.

“ _Was_ ,” Kotonoha corrected her. “I used to be scared, but now I can do anything he asks of me. I’m not angry at you, Sekai. It’s my fault for not being a good girlfriend for Makoto. But you can’t go crawling back now. You’ve made your decision when you slept with Makoto-kun.”

“Well it’s not like I have a choice, do I?”

“That’s right.”

Sekai sighed. “Let’s just get this over with.”

“You want to do it _now_?”

“The sooner this is over, the better.” She grabbed her coat.

“Uhm, yeah, okay.”

They went outside and she locked the door behind her.

The walk to the station was spend in silence.

On the train, they sat down together and Kotonoha finally broke the silence.

“I’m sorry I… I didn’t mean to blackmail you like that.”

“You love Makoto that much?”

“You know I do.”

“Makoto is a lucky guy.”

Kotonoha didn’t reply.

Some time later, their train arrived at the station. Both of them went to the house. They took off their shoes in the hallway.

Makoto was waiting for them in the living room.

“Hey, Makoto-kun.” Kotonoha kissed him on the lips. “I’ve brought her with me.”

“That was quick.”

“Don’t underestimate me.” She showed him a playful smile.

“I’ve missed you,” he said to Sekai.

“Me too,” she admitted. “But-”

“Shh. Stop overthinking this. Let’s just have some fun.”

“Do we really have to do that like this? With her watching?”

“Don’t talk to my girlfriend like that,” Makoto said. “You two are friends, aren’t you?”

“I guess so.”

“Well then. You should share with your friends.”

“But not _this_. This is so-”

He shut her up by claiming her lips with his. At first, she didn’t respond, but Makoto kept kissing her gently and eventually, very slowly, she started kissing him back.

She claimed she was opposed to it, but once she was actually doing it, she loosened up quickly.

Kotonoha let them kiss without interrupting. They would have to ease Sekai into it, or she would resist. And then Makoto’s fun would be ruined.

Makoto reached up and cupped one of Sekai’s breasts. She let him fondle it.

Then, he released her lips. “Come here, Kotonoha.”

Kotonoha moved closer to him. He started kissing her while his hand still worked Sekai’s breasts. His other hand touched Kotonoha’s chest.

From the corner of her eye, she saw Sekai looked annoyed.

Kotonoha broke off the kiss. “You don’t have to stand there like that,” she told Sekai. “His lips are busy, but the rest of his body isn’t. Kiss his neck, he likes that.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Sekai,” Makoto said calmly. “I don’t want to release that video, but if you’re not gonna cooperate you’re giving us no choice. You can either enjoy it and have some fun with us, or I can force you, but either way, we’re doing this. You don’t have a choice.”

She threw him an angry glare. “Fine.”

He went back to kissing Kotonoha. Meanwhile, Sekai leaned in and trailed kisses along his neck. She sucked hard, leaving a hickey.

He switched again, kissing Sekai’s lips again. His hands got more rough. Sekai tried to keep her composure, but it was clear she was losing her grip.

Meanwhile, Kotonoha placed a hickey on the other side of his neck. She admired her work for a moment before continuing to kiss him. She lightly bit his ear, which earned her a growl from Makoto.

He untied Sekai’s bowtie and threw it on the floor. Sekai didn’t stop him. Her anger was starting to melt.

He removed her blazer too and her blouse. Her bra was revealed.

It was striped horizontally in blue and white. It couldn’t be much more different from the sexy lingerie Kotonoha now wore permanently. If she wore underwear at all that is.

When he unhooked her bra, Sekai tried to cover up her breasts, but he forced her hands down. His head swooped down and took her nipple in his mouth.

Sekai suppress a moan. “You can’t- ah.”

“Get undressed too, Kotonoha,” he ordered.

“All the way?”

“Uhu.” He didn’t stop sucking Sekai’s nipple. His hand went beneath her skirt.

Now, Sekai’s moan was obvious. She grabbed his arm with both hands, but she didn’t stop him. Whatever he was doing with his fingers felt too good.

Sekai was panting now.

Makoto moved up and claimed her lips again. She kissed him back enthusiastically. Her initial reluctance completely gone.

Meanwhile, Kotonoha was fully naked, save for her little pendant.

“Makoto-kun?”

“Get on your knees,” he ordered. “Show her how it’s done.”

Kotonoha knelt down. She opened his pants. Not surprisingly, his dick was already rock-hard. She jerked it for a bit, enjoying how it felt in her hand.

“May I suck your cock, Sir?” she asked.

“Yes, you may.”

Kotonoha moved her hand to the base and leaned forward. After swirling her tongue around the head for a bit, she took it in her mouth. Meanwhile, he was still kissing with Sekai and fondling her tits.

Kotonoha took him deep, the way she knew he liked it. She tried her best to look up at him. Her eyes started watering very quickly. Even so, she powered through.

“Kotonoha,” he said calmly. “Stop cheating.”

“Sorry,” she mumbled.

She removed her hand. Now, she could go down all the way to the base. And she knew she had to. If she didn’t, he would put his hand on the back of her head and force her to pleasure him properly.

Kotonoha gagged when it entered her throat. Even after all this practice, she still wasn’t perfect.

“How… how can she take it so deep?” Sekai asked. She seemed genuinely impressed.

“Every morning and evening she uses the back of her toothbrush to train her throat.”

Kotonoha’s eyes went wide. “You know?”

“You’re not as subtle as you think, Kotonoha. I’ve seen you a few times. You usually get so horny you’re not even noticing the door is open and I’m watching you.”

She blushed. “I just enjoy pleasing you, Makoto-kun.”

Kotonoha continued sucking him off.

“Do you have a hair tie?” he asked Sekai.

“Yeah.” She took one from her pocket.

“Here you go.” He handed it to Kotonoha.

She knew what was expected from her.

After she had made a tight ponytail, he grabbed it with his hand. He was in control now.

Kotonoha opened her mouth wide and folded her hands behind her back.

He forced her head down.

“You’re so rough on her,” Sekai said.

“She likes that,” he said. “Isn’t that right?”

He briefly pulled her up.

“Yes, Sir,” she panted. “Don’t stop, please.”

He forced her head back down all the way. “Keep looking at me. Don’t close those pretty eyes, I want to see you.”

“Me too,” Sekai said softly.

“Hm?”

“I… I want to do it too. Not that rough though.”

“Alright. Get down next to her.”

Sekai got down on her knees as well. He took the opportunity to give Kotonoha another short break.

She pulled back, breathing hard. Spit dribbled down over her tits.

Sekai looked pretty unsure.

“Why don’t you help her out, Kotonoha?” Makoto offered. “Show her how it’s done.”

“Yes, Sir.” She turned to Sekai. “First off, you’re totally overdressed.”

Sekai looked down. “But, I’m already topless.”

“You should be fully naked.”

“O-Okay then.”

Sekai shrugged out of her skirt. Her panties didn’t match her bra.

After some hesitation, she took her panties off too, but she kept her legs closed tightly.

“You’ve done this before, haven’t you?” Kotonoha asked.

“Just once. And I don’t think I was very good at it.”

“I’ll teach you, don’t worry.”

“What should I do first?”

“Just lick it.”

Sekai reached out with her hand.

“No hands,” Kotonoha said. “He has hands, it’s your mouth he wants.”

“Okay.”

She put her hands on her knees and leaned forward. Her tongue traced his length.

“And make sure you look up at him. Show him how much you love it. Moan.”

Makoto was clearly enjoying himself.

He grabbed his cock and slapped it on Sekai’s lips.

Sekai opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out.

“Oh she’s a natural,” Kotonoha noted.

Kotonoha moved down so she could suck on his balls.

Despite her initial reluctance, Sekai was really getting into it now. She wrapped her lips around the head on her own. Kotonoha thought her own head would be in the way, but there was no cause for concern. Sekai could hardly take a third of him in her mouth.

“Am I doing it right?” Sekai asked Makoto.

“You’re doing well,” he praised her.

Kotonoha took over. While keeping eye contact, she forced him down her throat over and over again.

Makoto closed his eyes momentarily. “Wow.”

“Sorry I’m not as good as her,” Sekai said.

“She didn’t learn this overnight, Sekai.” He turned to Kotonoha. “Switch.”

Sekai took over again. She tried harder this time. There was more eye contact and she tried to take him deeper. But before she even got halfway, she started coughing uncontrollably and had to stop.

“Take it easy,” Makoto said.

They switched again. Makoto grabbed Kotonoha’s ponytail and took control. Kotonoha accepted it completely. She relaxed her neck and tried not to gag too much. Her eyes looked up lovingly at him. She was happy to see the approval in his eyes.

“Fuck.”

He let go of her hair. Kotonoha kept sucking him fast. He hadn’t ordered her to stop or switch after all.

“Ah, Kotonoha, if you keep it up I’m gonna…”  
“You don’t want to cum?” she asked.

“Not yet. I want you, Sekai.”

“Me?” Sekai seemed a bit surprised. “Uhm, okay.” She leaned forward.

“Not your mouth. I want to fuck you.”

“No, I… I don’t want to.” Her voice was very insecure now.

“Fine. If you prefer watching me fuck Kotonoha instead.” He turned to her. “Get in position.”

Kotonoha turned around on all fours and put her head down. She raised her butt high. “Like this, Sir?”

“Spread your-”

“Wait,” Sekai said. “I’ll do it.”

Sekai got up and lied on the couch on her back. Presenting herself like Kotonoha was way too embarrassing for her.

Kotonoha moved closer to her and knelt down next to the couch. She had a good view from here.

Makoto knelt on the couch and forced Sekai’s legs wider. He lined his cock up with her pussy.

“Ah, wait.”

He didn’t wait though. He just forced it inside without saying a word.

“Ah, Makoto,” she yelped.

“Damn, you’re tight.” He kept forcing it in.

“It’s because you’re so bi- ah. Be gentle.”

“Don’t be so selfish,” Kotonoha said. “Let him enjoy himself with your body.”

“Easy for you to say. He’s not-”

“Focus on this instead,” Kotonoha said. She moved down and took Sekai’s nipple in her mouth.

Sekai let out something in between a moan and a grunt.

With her other hand, Kotonoha fondled Sekai’s other breasts.

They were extremely small compared to her. More cute than sexy, but Kotonoha was surprised by how much she liked doing this. It was really strange she had never tried sucking on her own breasts. She should try it sometime. Makoto would probably like watching that.

Kotonoha looked down. Makoto was all the way in now. He kept it there, motionless. Kotonoha looked up at him.

“It’s okay,” he assured her. “Keep going, she needs to relax.”

Kotonoha nodded. She started kissing Sekai’s breasts again.

“Does it hurt?” he asked Sekai. “You want me to take it out?”

“No, it’s okay. Just… start slowly please.”

“Okay.”

Makoto started fucking her. Sekai got even more noisy.

He started slow, but it wasn’t long before he picked up the pace. Kotonoha had trouble to keep sucking Sekai’s breasts because they bounced up and down.

Sekai was panting. Her breathing got ragged.

“Makoto, I’m gonna.”

“Do it,” he ordered. “Cum for me.”

“Ah.”

Her eyes rolled to the back of her head for a moment. She arched her back and came hard.

It was beautiful. Kotonoha loved watching it. This was Makoto’s doing. He had made her cum like this.

Sekai breathed hard, trying to recover.

“Kotonoha,” he said.

“Yes, Sir?”

“Come here. Over her.”

“O-Okay.”

She positioned herself on all fours over Sekai’s body.

Makoto pulled out his cock and shoved it in Kotonoha’s pussy.

Kotonoha almost came when he forced it inside. This was her favorite part. The feeling of her pussy stretching to accommodate his cock was just perfect.

“Look at that,” he said as he slapped her butt. “You’re dripping wet.”

“It’s… it was so beautiful. Please, Sir, make me cum too. Make me cum like you did with Sekai.”

“Remember, you have to ask first.”

“Yes, Sir.”

He slowly started fucking her.

She couldn’t stop herself from bucking her hips. This was too slow for her.

Makoto got the hint and quickly picked up the pace.

Meanwhile, Sekai had somewhat recovered. She looked at the moaning Kotonoha. She seemed fascinated by her.

“Makoto-kun,” Kotonoha pleaded.

“Already?”

“No, I… I want to… can I play with Sekai?”

“Go ahead.”

Kotonoha leaned down and claimed Sekai’s lips.

Sekai was completely stunned. However, after a few seconds, she slowly returned the kiss.

Makoto started fucking her even harder.

Kotonoha had enough of the soft kiss and gently pushed her tongue inside. Sekai allowed her to explore her mouth.

They kept making out for a few minutes.

Suddenly, Kotonoha pulled back.

“No,” Sekai protested. She tried to kiss Kotonoha again, but Kotonoha held her down with one hand.

“Wait,” she pleaded. Then, she turned back. “Please, Sir. Oh, I… I need to cum.”

“You _need_ to come?”

“I want to,” she corrected herself. “Oh please. I want to come on your cock.”

“Do it.”

A powerful orgasm surged through her body. She saw spots for a few moments.

“Keep yourself up,” he warned her. “I’m not done with you yet.”  
She obeyed. It took her a while to figure out Sekai was still beneath her and she had almost collapsed on top of her.

Makoto pulled out his cock. The next moment, Sekai yelped.

He must have entered her.

Makoto fucked her for a bit, then he pulled out and went back to Kotonoha. She moaned. Her pussy was still sensitive from her hard orgasm.

He kept going back and forth between them.

Then, suddenly, he pulled out of Kotonoha but didn’t enter Sekai.

“Which one of you is gonna finish me?” he asked.

“Please,” Kotonoha begged. “Cum in my pussy.”

“No,” Sekai said. “Pick me. Please, Sir.”

“Mine is much tighter, Sir.”

They both kept begging.

“Hm, I think I’ll take Sekai this time.”

Kotonoha’s felt her pussy constrict in frustration.

She watched Sekai’s face twist into pure ecstasy. “Makoto likes my pussy better.”

They heard a sharp slap. “Don’t get cocky.”

“Sorry, Sir,” Sekai said. “Please don’t take your cock out.”

Makoto rammed her pussy hard until he came deep inside of her.

Then, he pulled out his cock. His cum leaked out.

“On the floor,” he ordered. “Both of you.”

They both got on their knees in front of him.

Makoto put his cock in front of their faces.

Kotonoha instinctively sensed what he wanted. She started to suck him clean.

Sekai joined her.

They both licked and sucked his cock until he was satisfied.

Then, Makoto sat down in the middle of the couch. He tapped the spots next to him.

Kotonoha sat on his left side and put her head on his shoulder. Sekai followed her example on the other said.

He wrapped his arms around them and leaned back with a satisfied smile.

They sat like that for a moment.

“Wait,” Sekai said. “I… I’m not on the pill. We should-”

“We’ll get you a morning after pill,” Makoto said calmly. “Kotonoha, can you make an appointment with your doctor? We have to get her anticonception as quickly as possible.”

“Yes, Sir.”

Sekai didn’t protest. She didn’t even question them. She simply settled in her new role. Whatever that was.

Was she his girlfriend now? Or just a friend with benefits?

Kotonoha didn’t dare asking.

They stayed like that for a while, until-

“Onee-chan? I’m home.”

“Oh fuck.”

All three of them were still fully naked.

Makoto grabbed a blanket and covered them up. The door opened.

“Onee-chan?”

“Oh, hey Kokoro,” Kotonoha said. She hoped she sounded normal.

Their clothes were on the floor. The coffee table blocked the view so as long as Kokoro didn’t move closer, she wouldn’t see.

“What are you doing?” Kokoro asked.

“This is Sekai, a friend of mine. We were just gonna watch a movie.”

“Oh, can I watch it with you?” Kokoro stepped forward.

“No!” Kotonoha said.

“Why not?”

“Don’t you have homework?” Makoto asked gently.

“Maybe.”

“Finish your homework first, Kokoro-chan,” Kotonoha said sternly. “You don’t want to go back to summer school, do you?”

“No.”

Grumbling, Kokoro went back to the hall. They heard her walk upstairs.

Kotonoha let out her breath. “That was close.”

They quickly put on their clothes again.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Sekai said. She was blushing heavily.

They watched her leave.

“So,” Kotonoha said. “Do you believe me now?”

“Yeah,” Makoto said. “I didn’t expect you to actually do it. I was just saying it because I thought you never would.”

“I know. So it was a good opportunity for me to make a point. I’ll do _anything_ for you, Makoto-kun. Anything you want.”

“I know. I love you, Kotonoha.”

“Me too, Makoto-kun.”

He leaned down and kissed her.

Kotonoha completely surrendered herself to his lips.


	30. Chapter 30

Kotonoha opened her eyes. Somewhere during the night, her hand had slipped between her legs. She was really wet.

Kotonoha gently rubbed herself. This felt good. Really good. She must have been rubbing for a while already because she was really close to cumming.

“Can’t control yourself?” a voice asked.

“Makoto?!” She turned white. “I-”

“Shh. Sekai is still asleep.”

“Sorry.”

Makoto was on his back, with a naked Sekai embracing him from the side.

Last night they had done it again and then fallen asleep in his bed.

“So, having some fun?” he asked.

“I’m sorry. I was just so h-horny.”

“That’s no excuse. You’re mine. I’m the only one who plays with this.”

He touched her pussy with his free hand.   
“Ah, yes, Sir.”

“What were you thinking about?”

“I was thinking about last night,” she admitted.

“You liked the threesome that much?”

“I just love pleasing you, Makoto-kun. And you seemed to like it a lot.”

“Well you played with Sekai as well.”

She blushed. “Just a little bit. It was just to give you some visual stimulation.”

“I don’t believe you.”

He got tired of the light rubbing and pushed in two fingers.

“I…”

Sekai woke up. “Huh? What’s going on?”

“We’re having some fun,” Makoto said.

She looked confused. “Why am I-”

He claimed her lips with his. “Shh. Just join us, Sekai. You don’t need to think.”

Sekai nodded slowly. “You’re right.”

She crawled beneath the covers.

Kotonoha couldn’t see what was going on, but she guessed Sekai was giving him oral.

“Come here.”

He pulled Kotonoha closer so they could make out.

Sloppy noises filled the room. From Sekai’s mouth, their kiss and his fingers on her… 

“Ah, Makoto,” Kotonoha begged. “If you keep doing that I will-”

“You won’t do anything.” He sharply slapped her pussy.

She yelped. “Ah, fuck.”

“Stop being so selfish.”

“Sorry.”

“You’re not touching yourself without permission, and you’re certainly not coming. You need to earn your orgasms, Kotonoha.”

“Yes, Sir. I won’t come, I promise.”

“Yes, you won’t. Now, time to get your focus back where it should be. Get down there and help Sekai out.”

“Yes, Sir.”

She crawled down to join Sekai. Makoto pulled away the covers so he could watch them.

They took turns bobbing their heads up and down his length. Makoto simply watched them work his cock.

When it was Sekai’s turn, Kotonoha grabbed the back of her head and helped her force her head down. Makoto really liked that.

Sekai coughed up spit. “Hey-”

“Sekai,” he said sharply. “Be nice.”

“Sorry.” She turned to Kotonoha. “Thanks for helping me.”

“My pleasure.”

They switched again.

She felt a weird sense of pride. Unlike Sekai, she didn’t need any help in taking him all the way down. She was better than Sekai, much better.

Kotonoha went faster and faster. She could sense he was getting close.

“Don’t get selfish, Kotonoha. You need to share with Sekai.”

Reluctantly, she pulled back and allowed Sekai to suck him again.

“I’m getting close,” he said.

“When he’s ready to cum, you lean back,” Kotonoha instructed Sekai. “Open your mouth and stick out your tongue. If anything gets in your mouth, you keep it in there until he tells you what to do with it.”

Sekai hummed her okay.

Makoto took over. He got up on his knees.

They both lowered their heads and opened their mouths.

Makoto jerked himself off and came in their mouths. The first spurt went into Sekai’s mouth. Then, he quickly switched and two more spurts went into Kotonoha’s mouth. A tiny bit had gotten around their lips and chin.

“Make out,” he said.

Kotonoha eagerly took Sekai’s face and turned it towards her. She plunged her tongue inside.

Sekai was less eager, but eventually settled into the tongue kiss.

He watched them make out for a few minutes.

Then, both of them swallowed.

“Wow,” he said.

Kotonoha kissed his soft cock. “Thank you, Makoto-kun. I enjoyed that very much.”

He looked at Sekai.

“Uhm, me too.” She hesitantly kissed his cock.

His cock twitched. If they kept going like this, he could probably go for another round.

“Let’s get cleaned up,” he said gently.

When they were all cleaned up and dressed, they went downstairs.

Kotonoha showed Sekai how to make breakfast for Makoto. She had spent a lot of time learning how to cook and what he liked. Breakfast wasn’t super elaborate, but still. She wanted to do it properly.

Luckily, Sekai was eager to learn.

Kotonoha briefly wondered if he had mind controlled her somehow, but she dismissed the idea. It didn’t really matter to her. Makoto was happy and that was all she cared about.

They put the breakfast on the table. 

“Itadakimasu,” Makoto mumbled.

They repeated the phrase and dug in.

“What are the plans today?” Kotonoha asked.

“Well I am going to the apothecary first,” Makoto said. “And to the grocery store. Then we’ll see.”

“Okay.”

When their breakfast was over, he kissed both of them deeply and then left.

They cleaned up together.

“What do you want to do?” Kotonoha asked.

“Are you really okay with this?” Sekai asked.

“Makoto is happy,” she said.

“And that makes you happy too?”

“Yes. Are you not satisfied?”

“Well I…”

“You don’t love Makoto?”

“I do. Ah.” Sekai blushed at her own words.

“Well then. Don’t make things harder than they are. Let’s go for a swim. We haven’t tested out the pool yet.”

“I don’t have a bikini with me,” Sekai said.

“Don’t worry about that. I have an idea.”

It was almost midday when Makoto returned.

“Hey, Makoto-kun.”

“Wow.”

Both girls were sunbathing on their backs on a lounge chair. They only had the bottoms of their bikinis on. In Kotonoha’s case because she had taken her top off and in Sekai’s case because the top didn’t fit.

“Too bad you couldn’t put sunscreen on, Makoto,” Kotonoha said. “We had to do it on each other.”

“Looks like I missed something interesting then.” He saw Sekai was blushing.

Makoto went to the kitchen and returned with a glass of water. 

He handed it to Sekai, along with a pill.

Sekai awkwardly accepted it. She tried to stay on her back.

“Really?” Kotonoha asked. “You’re embarrassed now?”

“No I’m not.” As if to prove her point, Sekai sat upright and took the pill.

“Good,” Makoto said. “We don’t want you getting pregnant.”

“For now,” Kotonoha added.

Sekai blushed again.

“I have condoms too,” he said. “In case we need them. But you really need to get anticonception.”

“I’ll call my doctor this afternoon,” Kotonoha said.

“Okay. Now, we shou-”

A noise interrupted them.

“Sorry, that’s me.” Sekai picked up her phone. “Hello? Oh, hey mom.”

She went inside.

Makoto sat down on her sunbed.

He smiled.

“What’s so funny?” Kotonoha asked.

“I’m just imagining how you would react if I had told you this a year ago.”

“If you had told me what?”

“That you would be lying here, topless, at the pool of your own house, with your boyfriend and another girl.”

“I don’t think I would have believed you.”

“Probably not.”

Sekai returned. She was dressed in her school uniform again.

“What’s wrong?” Makoto asked.

“I need to go home.”

“Now?”

“I’m sorry, but I really have to go.”

“I can take you to the sta-”

“No need. I’ll manage.” She hesitated for a moment, but then she leaned in and kissed Makoto briefly.

“I really need to go now.”

“Sek-”

She was already gone.

“Well that was… weird,” he said.   
“Looks like it’s just the two of us then.”

“You’ll have to work twice as hard to satisfy me,” he joked.

“Hm. I like that.” She pressed her body against his. “Which way do you-”

“Onee-chan?” a voice called.

“Oh fuck.”

Kotonoha panicked.

“Get down on your belly,” Makoto quickly said.

She obeyed.

Kokoro came into the garden. “There you are, Onee-chan.”

Her little sister was still in her pyjamas.

“You slept that long?” Makoto asked.

“Onee-chan sleeps in too.”

“Not today.”

“Why aren’t you wearing a top?” Kokoro asked her sister.

“She’ll get tan lines,” Makoto replied for her.

“She didn’t care about that before.”

“People care about different things when they have a boyfriend, Kokoro-chan,” Kotonoha said.

Kokoro shrugged. “Time for breakfast.”

She went back inside.

Kotonoha sighed. “That was close.”

She had completely forgotten Kokoro was still here.

“You better put your top back on.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. “Too bad.”

He helped her put it on.

“I wonder what’s up with Sekai,” Makoto said.

“Maybe… maybe she didn’t like it after all?”

“She seemed to be having fun.”   
“Yes, but… she might be scared of where this is going.”

“But someone did call her,” he argued.

“That could have been a convenient excuse, Makoto-kun. Maybe she just called to ask where she was?”

“Maybe.”

It was silent for a moment.

“Are you scared of where this is going?” he asked.

“I’ll go anywhere you want me to go, Makoto-kun,” she said, confident.

He smiled slightly. “I love you, Kotonoha.”

“Me too.”

He kissed her.

Kotonoha surrendered to him.

He slowly moved to tongue kissing.

Kotonoha pressed her body against his.

He broke off the kiss.

She moved forward, eager for more.

Makoto put his hands and her shoulders. “Easy.”

“I want you,” she said. Her eyes were glazed with desperation. She was just about ready to jump on him. The fire inside of her would not go out.

“Your sister is here.”

She regained her composure. “Right, sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, Kotonoha. I like how badly you want me. But sometimes we can’t do it.”

“I know.”

The sliding door opened again. “Can I go over to play with Uzuki-chan?” Kokoro-chan asked.

“I don’t know,” Kotonoha said. “That’s pretty far.”

“Ye, Onee-chan, I’m old enough to take care of myself.”

“I need to take care of you now, Kokoro-chan,” she said. “So you need to listen to me.”

Kokoro sighed. “Fine.”

“You can go. But be home before dinner. And call us if anything happens.”

Kokoro smiled broadly. “Thanks, Onee-chan.”

She hugged her sister.

Kotonoha patted her on the back.

Kokoro broke off the hug and went back inside. “See you tonight.”

“Will she be alright?” Makoto asked.

“She goes alone to summer school too.”

“Right.”

A silence fell.

Kotonoha bit her lip. “I think she’s gone.”

Makoto took the straps of her top. “Let’s take this back off then.”

“Yes, please.”


End file.
